Fat lady sings for San Antonio scribe Dan Cook
Dan Cook, the San Antonio sports journalist widely credited with popularizing the line about sports events and singing fat ladies, has died, and Anthony Rieber poses a good question:
What will the first line of your obituary be?
Here's how I imagine the first line of mine, assuming I don't further add to my resume by discovering a cure for people who shout "get in the hole" at golf tournaments:
Neil Best, who survived most of a seven hour, 23 minute rain delay at Comiskey Park in 1990 and seeing Scott Gragg naked in 1995, and who spent vacations linking to Anthony Rieber posts, died yesterday of apparent boredom while watching the 19th inning (and ninth hour) of a playoff game between the Yankees and Red Sox for the American League Wild Card berth. He is survived by his wife, daughters, poodles and Glauber.
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Okay, this is getting a little macabre, asking me to write my obituary.....ON MY BIRTHDAY.
In other news this week, the Ghostwriters of the Deaddog Nation acknowledged the passing of Islander505.
505 changed his area code on Wednesday following a brief dispute with an armed bartender (rumored to be Mike Gordon of Koots) over a 30 year old running tab.
Almost 8 people filled the Church of Herbal Divinity to hear a dozen or so words of praise heaped upon him in a eulogy soulfully delivered in a cute little ragtime song by Mr. Whitekeys. 505 was best known for providing the written inspiration which led to the New York Islanders winning 5 consecutive Stanley Cups from 2009-2013, as well as numerous words of fiction within the Newsday blogs.
Pallbearers for the service included Erin Andrews, Jessica Biel, two Icegirls and 4 randomly selected Long Island Delicatessen owners.
Gravedigging services were generously provided by Anthony Rieber, Jim Baumbach, 505's spouse and a 1990 Cristal Brut from the vineyards of Louis Roederer.
505,
Happy Birthday. I no longer celebrate birthdays. I celebrate anniversaries of my 29th.