Friday comment contest: Darn you, John Philips!
Last Friday I permanently retired John Philips' Friday comment contest award to give others a chance to win the prestigious title.
Then he announced 15 minutes after the Mets' elimination Sunday that he was through with sports forever - yeah, right - a memorable rant excerpted below that caused me to give it to him one last time. NO MORE, THOUGH!
Here it is, complete with a Carl Sandburg reference:
"I'm done. When I think of all the time, money, and emotion invested into a stupid game and team, I feel like a complete idiot. So many times, I went to weddings and family functions only to think of ways to sneak to a radio or TV and find out what a score was. All of the video tapes and DVD's of complete game broadcasts that I have collected and archived in the belief that I will someday want to watch these things again suddenly seem even more ridiculous that my wife told me they were. I have spent almost 20 years trying to forget Game 4 of the 1988 NLCS even though there is no rational reason why I should have been upset in the first place. I must simply give it all up. My 40 year run of Mets yearbooks, my copy of Dick Schapp and Paul Zimmerman's The Year The Mets Lost Last Place, my framed poster from Tom Seaver Day in 1988, my Lets Go Mets video - I'm putting it all up on ebay tomorrow along with an equally disturbing collection of Jets memorabilia.
I have never read Faulkner's Absalom Absalom, Carl Sandurg's American Songbag, or Robert Frost's North of Boston collection, but I will now. I am breaking free of this cursed affliction of sports and try to redirect whatever free hard drive I have in my brain towards better pursuits. Farewell sports and while I'm sure Faulkner's prose will initially sound like it being read by Lindsay Nelson and Ralph Kiner in my brain, it will eventually cease and I will become a better person."
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Comments (3)
Note to John:
Riiiiiiiiiiight. You'll be back. And I highly recommend buying one of the batphones that have internet connectibility, which means fingertip access to scores from ESPN Mobile from just about anywhere. Not quite instantaneous, but close enough. So your search for the relative's TV is over.
As you can see Charlie (and Neil) I'm back. I did check Absalom Absalom out of the library, but when the Division Series started, I weakened, turned on the TV, and put the novel on the nightstand. I was jumping up and down for joy last night when Victor Martinez went deep in the 5th inning (I've taken a lot of garbage from all the Yankee fans out here in Jersey this week). I did go so far as to write descriptions of my 67 and 68 Met yearbooks for my ebay ad, but I lost my nerve and shelved them.
And Charlie, my wife has indicated to me in no uncertain terms that I am never to be entrusted with two things and hope to remain married - one is Direct TV (with the MLB and NFL packages) and the other is mobile internet access. I'm stuck going to people's houses and scoping out hidden TV's and radios for the foreseeable future.
John,you may want to reconsider a possible seperation from the wife during the baseball season with the"Extra Innings" package.Just finished my first season and to hear Vin Scully call the Dodger games in your home{he does the games by himself by the way} on a regular basis,well it's something to consider...