A note to boxing fans
It’s kind of sad, really. Boxing fans who cling to the wreckage of their once great sport. What is most tragic about all of this is that most of these boxing aficionados have become closet MMA fans, and they dare not come out.
That’s right. The louder they claim their sport is king, the more clear it is that they have discovered the lure of mixed martial arts. They don’t even believe what they say.
More evidence of this theory comes to us directly from Newsday’s own boxing blog, The Neutral Corner. We here at Fightin’ Words recently pointed out the blog’s cheap attempt to pirate page views by posting about a sport people care about, MMA. They took exception to our jab. It must be tough trying to wipe away the tears with those big 16-ounce gloves.
Well, they’re at it again. Now they’re doing Q&As with UFC fighters, asking Pete Sell who he thinks would win between Randy Couture and Mike Tyson. They can’t even hide it anymore.
Sad.
No one can argue that boxing was a great sport. Was. But you say “Thrilla in Manila” to most MMA fans and they think you’re talking about a porn site. MMA is what people are watching now, and you have to feel bad for those who are secretly enjoying the sport but refuse to admit it.
You see, in the beginning it was easy for these boxing fans to dismiss MMA as a fad, something akin to Gladiators or the Toughman Competition. No way were they going to spend $35 to confirm what they so firmly believed: these are not skilled athletes -- they are a bunch of flabby guys in tight shorts rolling around on each other.
Suddenly, fights were available on Spike TV and then even network television. Just out of curiosity, these boxing types said, “Ah, let me check it out between rounds of ESPN Classic’s replay of Archie Moore vs. Floyd Paterson.”
They never got back to that Paterson fight. They weren’t always sure what they were watching, but they knew they were fascinated.
They used to complain, “The fights last 20 seconds.” Now they understand: End it quickly.
They found out that if you get cut, you lose. WHAT?! You should go to the cards! That’s not right! A week later, they’re shouting at the TV, “Elbow! Elbow! Cut him and you win.”
Good God. What do they tell their friends, their kids. They don't say a word. They keep it to themselves.
Now they have to sneak around, trying to catch of glimpse of the action. They’re scouring YouTube for fights. They overhear the talk at the office, and have to stop themselves from saying, “No way was that kick to the groin inadvertent!”
They just learned what a D’arce choke is, and they want to tell their friends all about it. They’re reading sherdog at work and quickly minimizing the screen when someone comes by.
Now they’ve set up a TV in the basement, sneaking around in the shadows. They’re craving a taste of some good ground and pound. They want to see the Muay Thai clinch. The slam. The bone-snapping armbars. They can’t get enough.
Huh? What's that? Someone’s coming? Quick, turn it off.
Wife at the top of the stairs: Honey, what are you doing down there?
Boxing fan: Nothing, dear. Just watching some old fight tapes I haven't seen in 25 years.
Wife: Okay, well it’s getting late. Why don’t you come to bed?
Boxing fan: I will, dear. In a few minutes.
When the coast is clear, they snap the TV back on just in time to watch the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt sink in the rear-naked choke and they think, “That guy’s got mad jits.”
It’s time to liberate yourselves, boxing fans. It’s okay to come out of the shadows. We’re ready to welcome you, and maybe we’ll even show you how that D’arce choke works.
--Hank Winnicki
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