It's been 183 hours since I first learned there was a shooting at Virginia Tech.
It's so strange. About 200 hours ago I was unwinding from a weekend in Atlantic City. After a great weekend and a really good episode of Entourage, it couldn't have gotten much better.
And then I woke up Monday morning.
In the time Jack Bauer can save the world seven times over, I've had friends tell me they've been reliving last Monday in their dreams, except this time they were in Norris Hall or they knew people who were killed. I've cried for the first time in years. I've been scared to turn on the TV. I've become so filled with rage I had to pull the car over. I saw memorial funds spring up faster than the weeds in the God-forsaken flower bed in my front yard. I saw pictures of vigils in parts of the world I'll probably never visit. I read Chris Fowler's powerful words about my favorite place on Earth. I listened to more tribute songs than A-Rod home runs this year (my favorite being Lil' Flip's). I've had beers bought for me. But, most importantly, I've been thankful more times than I could count.
Penn State's spring game
I'm not quite sure if it has really sunk in yet. To be honest, I'm not quite sure it ever will.
I know it's been a week, but I'm craving normalcy. I don't know if or when I'll stop mourning, but each day my smile is becoming more sincere.
Maybe it's because I'm such a neurotic, but my quest for the restoration of said normalcy is being aided by my passion for sports.
I remember when 9/11 kicked the world in the stomach, a lot of sports journalists printed the life is bigger than sports columns. But we need the trivialness of sports to help make things right, even if it's temporary.
If you're familiar with a town like Blacksburg (State College, Tallahassee, Tuscaloosa, Knoxville, etc. etc.), you'll know what I mean when I say each Saturday this fall will be one giant group therapy session. I'm going to do everything I can to be in Lane Stadium come Sept. 1 because Blacksburg needs football. I need football.
A Branden Ore touchdown run or Xavier Adibi sack won't erase a milligram of 4/16/07, but we don't need it to. Nor should it. We're going to need it to lift our spirits, the same way Penn State, Ohio State, Ward Burton, Mark Buehrle, Terry Francona, West Virginia, the University of Virginia, Texas A&M, my coworker Tim Hughes for wearing maroon on Friday and everyone else has this past week.
Fall practice cannot come soon enough.
If you'd like to contribute to a fund set up for the victims, please visit the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund. Unfortunately, football won't help any of the 32 families who lost a loved one. It's up to us to help.