Hookslide never ceases to amaze us. After hopping aboard the “What About Bob” bandwagon midway through last season, his comments have proved witty, insightful and downright hilarious.
But he may have outdone himself this time. “Hook” contacted us directly by e-mail (Bob.Glauber@newsday.com) to go one step further based on DC Jets Fan’s now famous creation of the term “goes Kendall” to describe any player who attempts to talk his way out of a bad contract. “Hook” was also enthused about “Poppy’s” use of the word “Clemenscy” to forgive a cheater, thanks to Roger Clemens’ experience on Capitol Hill.
“Hook’s” idea was to add a few more, even invoking some of our regular posters in the process:
"to Mets" = to choke
"to throw a Chad" = to loft a wobbly duck up for grabs
"to go Black N Gold" = to fervently support your team only until they hit tough times, then bail. (Editor's note: Sorry about that, B & G. You know how we feel about you.)
"to go Jeff P = to spend one's time searching Google images for look-alikes, when they should be working
"to go Bob Glauber" = to show an unnatural fascination with Neil Best
We love it. Absolutely love it. Here are a few more we’ve come up with. Feel free to add your own, whether it has to do with a name on this blog or anywhere in the universe.
“to go Neil Best” = to post pictures of scantily clad young women in a shameless - and ultimately successful - attempt to draw page views. (As he just did moments ago.)
“to go NKR” = to spend your days clicking “What About Bob” in hopes that Glauber will have to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge in a Speedo. (Sorry, kid. First thing that came to mind. Come up with a better one and we’ll replace it.)
“to go Vick” = to blow up your career by running an illegal dogfighting operation.
“to go Tyree” = to come up with an extraordinary athletic play for the first time in your life in the biggest game of your life.
“to go Coughlin” = to transform yourself from a sideline ogre to a cute-and-cuddly champion.
"to go Hookslide" = to use your vast intellectual powers to improve the blogosphere one post at a time.
"to go Richie G (original)" = to create wondrous poetry on the blogosphere (see: "That's Samari).
"to go Richie G (Lynbrook)" = to applaud a player guaranteeing a victory in a big game, as Plaxico Burress did before the Super Bowl.
"to go Gutes" = to go into spectacularly minute detail about grammar and punctuation on the Newsday copy desk (it's ok, Gutes, we love you for it. Wouldn't have it any other way.)
"to go La Monica" = to break every rule of decorum and journalistic integrity when blogging ... and then get the Publisher's Award for best blog of the year.
(I'm admittedly a little weak on these, so I'm counting on my more intellectually superior and hopelessly juvenile readers to pick up the slack and add some more. Black N Gold, take it away.)
Comments (22)
To Coughlin - a verb - meaning to contract facial frostbite on national TV
"I heard the NHL was gonna have an outdoor game in Calgary in January but they were afraid the players would Coughlin, so they cancelled it"
Anon:
Brilliant.
To Strahan - to take advantage of one's spouse in a divorce proceeding
"sorry man, I can't go on that golf trip, my ex-wife Strahanned me"
To Dolan - To as in to grossly mismanage a franchise into oblivion (As in Dan Synder is Dolaning the Redskins)
To Eli - To show flashes of brilliance, only to disappear for extended periods of time. "Abramsons blog is great but he has a tendancy to Eli."
To T.O. - To summon up alligator tears at will. As in Rich Rodriguez, new head coach at Michigan T.O.'d on "Between the lines" when ased about his kids.
To Hookslide - To finish at the bottom of the standings.
As in "The Dolphins took a Hookslide in the 2007 season"
But my favorite..
To BeliCheat - It's self explanatory.
To Go Romo...to "snap" under pressure
As in...the Cowboys might never win a playoff game if Tony continues to "Go Romo"
Poppy, that's a great one on Romo, but maybe there's another one...
To "go Romo" is to disappear (maybe to Cabo? or Starbucks?) before a major important event...as in when your boss asks your secretary..." where's BBiB? we have a major client presentation he's supposed to give in 5 minutes, looks like he's "gone Romo".
Thanks B & G...a good addition
I'll add another...I'm sure Knick fans cant wait for Isiah Thomas to "Go Romo"
B & G and Poppy. Both well done. Will be anxious to see BBiB!'s response.
been away for a few days, but love this entry! I cannot take credit for what I am about to put down, as it came out of the mouth of a cross country coach about 5 years ago, but here it is....
To Get Kenyand - To get passed by someone while seeing the finish line when that competitor was way behind you less than 10 seconds ago. "I don't know what happened to the Patriots. Looks like they got Kenyand by the Giants." or "If What About Bob can Kenyan the rest of the blogs in this last week of February, I will walk over the Brooklyn Bridge in a Speedo next to Glaubs"
bigfroe... as a retired marathon runner.... I love it...
what makes it even better is the way the Kenyans make their move... as they come past they use every once of energy to make it look like they're exerting no effort... just out for a stroll, often times, if their english is good enough, they'll offer up an encouraging word or two.. "good work mate"... it's DEMORALIZING. :-)
Ok, I'll bite since this seems like fun:
To Glauber: as in, to promise something under false pretenses like when BG promised to eat his notebook but instead gently chewed a piece of paper and then spit it out.
"Bush promised us no new taxes. Guess he Glaubered us."
To pull a Bonds by continually denying the obvious truth (works with Clemens too): "Clinton pulled a Bonds when asked about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky"
To Debbie Clemens: the act of showing off your newly acquired asstes: "My next door neighbor is Debbie Clemens-ing the whole block with that new snowblower of his"
A "petit jury"...a panel of 12 jurors who finally decide upon the facts at issue during a trial
As in...If Roger Clemens is indicted, he'd better hope he doesn't get a "Pettitte jury" to decide his fate
- "When I told my girlfriend we had to break up, she went all 'Vermiel' on me"
- "At my daughter's school concert, some poor kid 'Carl Lewised' the National Anthem
- "Jose Reyes limped down to first...then he stole second...turns out he was just 'Bradying'
- "That used car salesman really 'Pavanoed' me.
- "I beat up some dude in a bar because he 'went Joe Namath' on my sister.
- "Bob was just asking for the results, but the reader 'went all BBiB' and turned it into an Excel spreadsheet
- " Man, my stomach's killing me, I gotta go 'take a Black N Gold'
Hook:
You are a savant. I will never think of Black N Gold quite the same.
I'm not sure Black N Gold will ever quite think of himself the same either.
Black N Gold -- Anything but Eli!!!
To go Bob Glauber: To completely jack other people's ideas and then write about them here.
For the original version, read "So then they bring in Eric Gagne" at weblogs.newsday.com/sports/KBQB_blog/2007/10/so_then_they_bring_in_eric_gag.html
New definition for "go La Monica:" = to become extremely jealous:
"His girlfriend saw him talking with another woman, and she went La Monica."
(Sorry, dude, I missed that post. It was long and unreadable anyway. Besides, you still got the money for the Publisher's Award, so relax.)
I think glauber just jumped the shark
Going Glauber: To live in a salty state months after some punk kid smoked him for the Publisher's Award.
boom!
-"George Clooney had to hire a security team...he felt threatened because of all those women 'going NKR' on him"
To go Mrs. Bob: to spend your days clicking “Watchdog” to mske sure that Glauber will not have to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge in a Speedo.
"I'll have the Glauber special - the egg white omelet."
To Crean - to actually meet your lookalike in person.
Brady Luck - even though you lose the big game, you still have Giselle to make you forget about it.
Brilliant stuff, NKR.