The Knicks Fix

This was submitted on Christmas Eve and it strangely disappeared from the blog on Dec. 27. Hackers? Blog pirates? Bugs in the system? Perhaps an upset rival seeking revenge?

Here's a re-post, because you know I spent arduous minutes on this. And because I have nothing to offer at this moment, yet you're all clamoring for something new to read.

I'll file after today's shoot-around in Phreezing Phoenix.

Respects to Clement Clarke Moore . . .

Twas the night before Christmas
The Knicks are not playing.
But I’ve got a few things
that I need to be saying:
Isiah Thomas may be hung
in effigy all year long,
but he’s still running this team
until Dolan says he’s gone.
Eddy Curry’s got some game -
Thank God for this -
But was he really worth
two potential lottery picks?
The Kids are all right;
David, Channing and Nate,
but Balkman and Collins
are still up for debate.
Stephon, again adjusting,
was hearing more boos
despite his efforts on defense
and selling affordable shoes.
Way up in the blue seats
there wasn’t much clatter.
Proving sub .500 teams,
in New York, just don’t matter
And I seated at press row -
across from Jimmy D slouched courtside -
figured to settle myself in
for a long, boring ride.
When what do our wondering eyes then behold?
Isiah telling Carmelo: “Don’t go to the hole.”
Melo snaps on Mardy’s flagrant and goes straight-up street,
throws a wild right hook into the Knick rookie’s cheek.
The media scrum was a moshpit of tabloid outrage;
and analysis varied from page to page.
Most of it fair, most of it true,
some of it got a bit too personal, too.
Some took silly shots and would garishly boast
I’m talking about . . . yeah, the paper that rhymes with ‘boast’.
And that instigating Isiah,
His impish smile so quick,
Had ‘em outraged from Wall Street
to 1-2-5 and St. Nick.
(He looks so gentle and sweet
to those who don’t know ‘em.
But he’s got a nasty mean streak;
just ask Bruce Bowen)
More rapid than losses, the fans suddenly showed up
and filled old MSG to see what was up.
Thomas played him a lineup, truncated by bans,
that played inspiring ball which pleased all the fans:
Now Stephon! Now Crawford! Now David and Chan!
On Curry! On Balkman! On . . . Cato? Oh damn!
To the 2-3 zone and the boards you will go,
And just like that, they won three in a row.
Steph beat the Jazz with a last-second flip,
Lee topped the ‘Cats with a miraculous tip.
Against the red-hot Bulls, their rebounding won,
But fatigued in Philly, they just couldn’t run.
Still look at the Division and believe what you hear:
The East is so weak, the Knicks might make the playoffs this year.
So celebrate mediocrity; aim for the .500 notch!
(If anything this team is at least interesting to watch).
I proclaim all of this to you for no other reason,
Merry Christmas, Knicks fans. It’s already been one hell of a season.