Bronx & Beans

Gotta love Manny Ramirez

Wed, 14 May 2008 23:29:23 -0500

With this kind of range, it's going to be sweet watching Manny Ramirez roam the great expanse that is left field in the new Yankee Stadium in 2009. Watch this awesome catch, high-five to a fan and a double play by Manny. I know I'm a Bronx, but so is Manny and we'll be loving his dreads in his hometown next season. Please, Big Bank Hank, sign him, if only so we don't have to watch him kill Mussina anymore. - La Monica

Very funny Whittle, but . . .

Wed, 14 May 2008 23:17:28 -0500

Bean Whittle found it amusing and so he posted in Bronx & Beans a picture of a baby in a Red Sox shirt and a Yankees hat as a diaper. Forget for a moment the extra funds needed for baby powder to deal with the chaffing that a hat will cause (nice parenting, by the way, whoever that was). Forget for another moment the psychological trauma the kid now has to deal with because of confusion between which team to root for (again, solid parenting). Now think what's worse: that hat protecting your manhood or having your franchise's greatest player/icon ever desecrated by having his museum placed in that beacon of sports history Tropicana Field? That's correct, the Ted Williams Museum and Hitters Hall of Fame is located right there in the belly of Tropicana Field, home to a Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays with a .399 career winning percentage (645-972) coming into 2008. What the heck do the Rays know about hitting, except how to let other teams do it well? (Granted, they have a good offense this year, but what about the previous 10 seasons which yielded 70 wins just once. As Doctor friend Sophie would say, "Every bread has its cheese.") Was there no room in Fenway to honor Teddy Ballgame with such a museum? I understand the ballpark is old and small, but Theo and Co. keep finding places to put seats, surely they could find a little nook for a Ted Williams museum of sorts instead of letting it rot away in a stadium that hasn't averaged more than 18,008 fans per game since the 2000 season. I know Ted hated Boston fans and media for most his career and vice-versa, but still, to let it slip away to St. Petersburg and Tropicana Field is just plain sad. - La Monica

Uses for a Yankee hat

Mon, 12 May 2008 11:23:59 -0500

This says it all. Red Sox almost pull off a win with a furious rally against the Twins. Meanwhile, the Yankees finally find a way to avoid a loss. --Whittle

Battle of the closers

Fri, 09 May 2008 00:30:20 -0500

Well, it was bound to happen - Papelbon blew a save. However, the Sox rebounded with a win tonight against the Motor City Kitties. And that blown save was due in large part to Lugo's hideous fielding. Right now is a good time to look at the AL's best closers and see who has he upper hand. Papelbon - 3 ER's in 17 innings. 10 saves. 12 hits and one walk, good for a WHIP around 0.7. Lefties batting .194. Opponents OPSing .521. Mariano - 0 ER's in 13 innings. 8 saves. 4 hits and no walks, good for a WHIP around 0.3. Lefties batting .053. Opponents OPSing .188. Nevermind. --Whittle

Yankees fan trying to sell out

Thu, 08 May 2008 11:56:27 -0500

Gone are the days when Yankees fans could sell players on Ebay after a bad start (Jeff Weaver comes to mind). However, fans starving for attention and an infusion of cash they'll try not to claim on their taxes can sell their souls/fandom to the highest bidder. The last plea for publicity comes from "sneakerinsider" who is selling his Yankees fan status to the Red Sox on Ebay. His initial bid price is $49,999 but you can buy him now for $174,999. If the right bored billionaire gets wind of this (or maybe even Beans Whittle and Dennehy), this dude could make some serious bank for selling himself. Isn't prostitution, be it athletic or sexual, illegal in most states? According to the Ebay auction, this fan's beef with the Yankees stems from a busload of kids from Connecticut being turned away from their pre-arranged tour of Yankee Stadium after they arrived 45 minutes late. Whether you believe that story or not, here's a suggestion: Plan better for New York traffic next time. Or maybe drive in the right lane for a while, contrary to everyone else in Connecticut who live in the left lane. - La Monica

Yanks fan allegedly kills Sox fan

Tue, 06 May 2008 12:54:59 -0500

Now this is just going too far. A barroom scuffle in New Hampsha turned deadly when a 43-year-old Yanks fan allegedly ran over and killed a 29-year-old Sox fan. Now, I'm all for a good baseball beef, but this is too much. Keep it wholesome, people. You just never know when you've ticked off the wrong Yankee fan. I'm going to start parking in a different part of the lot than Fernandez and LaMonica. --Whittle

Springtime in Boston...

Sun, 04 May 2008 17:06:32 -0500

Well, as Jon Lester continued to look sharp again as the Red Sox complete a sweep of the "pesky" Rays, down Storrow Drive those "feisty" Hawks finally crashed back to earth. With a thud, as the Celtics restore order to the universe with a 99-65 drubbing. And it wasn't even that close. Now if they can just win a playoff game on the road, we might be on to something. And, meanwhile, the Rangers, New York's only remaining playoff team, are officially bounced by the Penguins in an overtime heart-breaker. Grim times in New York town. If you haven't been to the Garden during the closing minutes of one of the Celtics' many blowouts this year, it looks like this. I see you your Human Highlight Reel, and I raise you Gino. -- Dennehy

Let's go Hawks!

Sun, 04 May 2008 00:17:54 -0500

The Yanks are three games back of Boston after Saturday's games. There are way too many games left before I can push the panic button, even though all the New York media love to ring the alarm like there's Fu-Schnickens reunion tour coming to town. All Yankees fans can really do right now is hope for Chien-Ming Wang to pitch three times a week and the quad strengthening coach to get re-assigned. But this Sunday at 1 p.m., perhaps Yankees fans can throw some good-luck vibes in the direction of the Atlanta Hawks. The No. 8 Hawks have pushed the top-seeded Boston Celtics to a Game 7 in the first round of the NBA Eastern Conference playoffs. This would be a rich upset for us Bronx people. Granted, it's a completely different sport and will not help Ian Kennedy develop as a pitcher at the major-league level, but at least we'll have something to throw back as these upstart Sox fans when they taunt us with their first-place standing in the AL East. To help get you in the spirit of rooting against a Boston team in a different sport, below is a video of the Human Highlight Reel, Dominique Wilkins. Although he did play a bit with the 'Tics, he's known forever as an Atlanta Hawk. Let's hope some of his mojo rubs off on the Hawks this afternoon! (P.S. You'll notice that dunks No. 2 and 3 came against Boston, including one against the Chief!) - La Monica

'Red Sox Memories' ... Or, I'd rather be a hammer than a nail

Fri, 02 May 2008 14:33:54 -0500

Even when our man Bronx LaMonica asks for a favor, he can't help be a typical Yankee fan jerk. The other day, he tossed a copy of the DVD 'Greatest Sox Memories' on my desk, and asked me to write a quick review. 'Don't worry,' he said, feigning that superiority we came to expect from New Yorkers pre-2004. "It's probably only four minutes long.' As recently as four years ago, I would have had a hard time delivering a smart answer to that. I might have muttered something lame about Carlton Fisk's home run in ‘75, or maybe filled him in on ’Morgan magic.’ Or I could have gotten truly desperate: "You Yankee fans are so arrogant," I might have whined. "But you're just lucky there weren't moving pictures back in 1912. If you could have seen Harry Hooper in action! You'd shut up quick, then, big mouth!." These days, of course, Sox fans have plenty of nice memories worthy of the cottage industry that has become the baseball DVD market. We could bask in a 3-hour disc of our favorite Manny and Ortiz moments alone. Maybe enjoy an accompanying disc of Pedro Martinez's greatest interviews. ("Who is Karim Garcia?" edges "Wake up the Bambino!" in my book.) Or we can just watch all 5 hours of Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS against the Yankees. (Games 4, 6 and 7 were pretty entertaining, too.) As it were, the producers of ’Red Sox Memories: The Greatest Moments in Boston Red Sox History, which will be released May 6, went with plenty of the standard fare Sox fans know by heart. But there's something different about this one.

Yankee lineups: Huh?

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:03:56 -0500

April is over, and you know what that means: time to panic. The conventional wisdom in baseball goes like this: the first two months of the season are for figuring out what you got; the second two months are for making improvements via trades and promotions; the final two months are when you make a run at the pennant. So, we're a little early, but let's see just what the Yankees have got. If the lineups Girardi has been throwing out there are any indication, the Bombers have problems. Girardi has yet to use a single lineup more than twice. Part of this is due to injuries, but it also has a lot to do with underperformance. But for the most part, the Yanks' lineup is setting up like this: Johnny Damon - Nary a day goes by when I don't thank the Red Sox front office for letting this guy go. His numbers - .275 BA, 1 K every 5 AB's - are more reminiscent of Dwayne Hosey than the dynamic leadoff batter of 2004 and 2005. Derek Jeter - Talking negative about "Cap'n Jeets" is like insulting someone's mother around here. Too bad. Homeboy is off to a slow start, and not enough has been made about it. No matter how many billboards you're on, a .674 OPS is a .674 OPS. Bobby Abreu - Off to a slow start, but let's not even talk about that. The fact that Abreu won a Gold Glove in Philly is alarming enough to make you scream "David Wright!" The plays he botched out in right field last night didn't show up as errors, but they cost the Yankees the game. Alex Rodriguez - Also off to a "meh" start, and he's hurt. A-Rod will heat up after he gets off the DL, but he's still going to get booed at Yankee Stadium until he hits a grand slam to win the World Series. Hideki Matsui - Hey, every dog has its day. Godzilla is slugging .495 while batting a .316 clip. But the Yanks still don't have a real spot for him on the field. His fielding in left is about as effective as a stone statute of Chuck Knoblauch. He can DH, but the Yankees already have about 67 DHs on the roster and one of them, like Matsui, is lefthanded. That's a controversy waiting to happen. Jorge Posada - Jorgie carried the Yanks last year, but now he's hurt. It's not supposed to be season-ending, but it's not what the Bombers need, either. Jason Giambi - Not to flog a corpse, but this guy should just wear an albatross around his neck when he comes to bat. Less than 300 RBI and more than $80 million in salary since the start of the 2004 season. Oh, and he's batting .164. Robinson Cano - Streaky, streaky, streaky. Cano will come alive at some point, but the Yanks need him now and he has responded with 7 RBI in 110 at bats. Oof. Melky Cabrera - Here's a guy who is fulfilling his end of the deal by hitting a solid .280-something and getting on base at a .362 clip. Trouble is, he's supposed to be a character actor, not a leading man. It all adds up to a sub-.500 record through 30 games. Fernandez and LaMonica are in for a long, hot summer. --Whittle

Who needs Johan?!?

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:24:38 -0500

Okay, now that we've finished one month of baseball, is it too early to appraise the winners and losers of the Johan Santana winter sweepstakes? Well, yes. In passing on Santana, the Red Sox and Yankees sided with youth, and, by definition, we'll have to wait a while to see if they made the right call... and it was the Mets who went for instant gratification when they landed the ace. But this is Red Sox/Yankees. There is no tomorrow. They kept the kids because they thought the kids would deliver now. So how are they doing? Last night seems like a good yardstick marker, since the two pitchers mentioned most often in Santana trade talks last winter -- the Sox' Jon Lester and the Yanks' Philp Hughes -- started. And for that matter, so did ace that got away...

Sexy Sox Girls?!?

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:49:04 -0500

Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached a new low. Or maybe a new high. Still hard to tell. But after being sent a link to this relatively new Web site called Sexy Sox Girls, I no longer cringe and twitch at the sight of a Red Sox jersey. It's sponsored by Fenway-Tix.com and combines things that many men enjoy: Sports, free tickets to sports and women in sports attire. The site may take a few minutes to load, though, since every Cliff Claven in New England is looking at it right now. Of course, I'm betting on Sexy Sox Girls being New England's answer to the Emperor's Club. The only question is which Bostonian will become Luv Guv Eliot Spitzer. Francona? Theo? Timlin? Papi? While you're thinking about it, check out the site. So far it's NSFW, but then again, I only looked at a few profiles.

Finally, some middle relief for Yankees

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:37:41 -0500

After Moose lulled the Indians to sleep through the first five innings, the Yankees' bullpen spelled relief like a jug of TUMS. Jonathan Alba...Abula...Abla...that righthander they got from the Nationals. Yeah him. He looked confident and pitched his way out of a one-out walk in the sixth. I'm really proud of Kyle Farnsworth. Seriously. Our buddy Farnsie just realized "Hey, I throw 241 miles per hour, I should challenge hitters." He's looking like Ricky Vaughn against Jack Parkman at the end of Major League II. His slider is sharp and his fastball can just be ridiculous at times. (Editor's note: To our loyal Bronx and Beans readers, I was looking for a good Parkman photo to throw in here for us, but no dice). Yankees just made the score, 5-2. Going to the bottom of the eighth....looks like Joba. 9:59 p.m. UPDATE: Joba just struck out Casey Blake on a disgusting slider to end the eighth. I really couldn't throw a wet lopsided wiffleball like that. Wow. 10:12 p.m. UPDATE: Mo shuts the door. Eighth save of the year as the bullpen retires 10 straight batters for the 5-2 win. By the way...how many Indians' hitters have those "Just For Men" beards? Casey Blake HAS to have a deal with them. Yanks headed home. -- Fernandez

Red Sox memories DVD?

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:33:31 -0500

Get this: The Bronx received a DVD in the mail for review purposes today entitled "Red Sox Memories." How they fit all the memories from 2004 and 2007 onto one DVD is beyond belief. We quickly dumped it off to Bean Dennehy who promises a review of this extravaganza later in the week. What could the extras be on this DVD, an interview with Mike Torres? A Q&A with Nomar on how he feels being traded out of Boston and then watching his Red Sox win a pair of rings? The secret sauce on Curt's sock? Oh the drama. I can't wait to see their championship timeline in an interactive graphic. Will it include a "No, records weren't lost during this 86-year span, there were just no plots to point on the graph" disclaimer?

Whittle leaves country, Sox tank

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:51:22 -0500

I leave the country for a week (honeymoon in Costa Rica - muy bueno) and the S.S. Red Sox starts taking on water. Coincidence? Probably. Annoying? For sure. About to end? You bet. The Sox lost their fifth in a row today - they were blanked by the Rays' James Shields. World Series MVP Mike Lowell and utility guys Sean Casey and Alex Cora are on the DL. Manny Delcarmen has been lit up like the Fourth of July (3 ER's, 1 IP and a loss in his last two outings). Mike Timlin looks like he's ready for Social Security checks. The rest of the team appears to have bird flu. David Ortiz entered today's game batting .177 and didn't play. But have no fear, Sox fans - I'll be back on Thursday, and we'll start mounting some wins again. The Orioles' time in first place is destined to go the way of New Coke. And thankfully, the Yankees still bite. --Whittle