Bronx & Beans

Here's why you have to love Yankees fans:

Jonathan Papelbon, the Red Sox closer, just entered the All-Star Game to start the top of the eighth inning, score tied at 2.

The fans started booing ASAP. Then came the "Ma-ree-ah-no!" chants. Then came a single by Miguel Tejada. Before the ball even touched the grass in right field, the fans re-booed Paps. After catching their collective breath, fans switch to "Ov-er-rated!" chants. It was as if they flashed it on the scoreboard in case Yankees fans weren't sure which derisive chant to use.

Tejada then swiped second base on slow-to-the-plate Paps and took third on Dioner Navarro's woeful throw onto the Grand Concourse. More boos.

Tejada scores on a sacrifice fly, AL trailing 3-2 because of Paps. More boos. After a strikeout of David Wright to end the innings, boos rained down on Paps like D batteries on Albert (Joey) Belle.

The reason for all this venom toward Paps? Well, it wasn't just the Red Sox uniform. On Monday, Paps suggested he deserved to close the game in Yankee Stadium instead of Mariano Rivera.

The New York Daily News fueled the fire with its "Papel-bum" back page headline. Who says newspapers are dead? Paps was a bit, um, upset at that cover.

I use myself as a case study of this bold claim.

This weekend, I had Sox/Brewers tickets for the game on Friday night. Alas and allack, it rained. Bummer. The game was rescheduled for 8 pm on Saturday night - double bummer, because I had to be at work on Long Island on Sunday morning. Plus, I had already bought a 3 p.m. bus ticket for Saturday. So, I said "aww shucks" and bailed on the game, right?

Getouttahere.

I toughed it out, because these are Red Sox tickets we're talking about. I stayed at a friend's house an extra day, and even bought him and his girlfriend pizza and ice cream as a little "Thanks for putting up with me." I ate my 3 p.m. bus ticket and paid $40 to buy a 12:30 a.m. bus ticket from Boston to New York. Then my wife called and told me I was crazy, and I could sense that I was headed for the doghouse, so I special ordered a bouquet of flowers to cover my butt (and because I love her - hi honey!).

Saturday's make-up game was clipping along until the Sox and Brewers started playing fusbol with the baseball. I looked up at the clock in the sixth inning - it was already nearing 11 p.m., and there was no way I was going to make it to South Station in time to catch my bus. So I peaced out at the 7th inning stretch - just as the Sox had coughed up the lead - and listened to the rest of the game on my walkman in a cab.

Let's recap - between a bus ticket, a cab ride, pizza, ice cream and flowers, I spent around 120 bucks so I could watch 6.5 innings of baseball and then take a four-hour bus ride in the dead of night. Ever sleep on a redeye Greyhound? It ain't comfortable. My spine felt like a jigsaw puzzle when my bus pulled into the Port Authority around 4:10 a.m. on Sunday. And yes, I was on time for work at 8 a.m.

But it was all worth it because the Sox retook first place from - NOT the Yankees - the Tampa Bay Rays.

I challenge Fernandez and LaMonica to come up with a more ridiculous, obsessive, fanatical story about their Yankee fandoms. Ain't gonna happen.

--Whittle

Now this is just going too far.

A barroom scuffle in New Hampsha turned deadly when a 43-year-old Yanks fan allegedly ran over and killed a 29-year-old Sox fan.

Now, I'm all for a good baseball beef, but this is too much. Keep it wholesome, people. You just never know when you've ticked off the wrong Yankee fan.

I'm going to start parking in a different part of the lot than Fernandez and LaMonica.

--Whittle