Bronx & Beans

Me and a couple of fellow Yankee-haters braved the Cross-Bronx Expressway on Friday to check out the Rays and Yankees. After paying the approximately $7,000 it costs for three guys to sit in the upper deck at the 161st Street Theater, we were treating to an epic thumping of the Yanks by Carlos Pena and company.

The average simian Yankee fan analyzes the game as such: "Dis friggin' stinks!" But the more cerebral Sox fan sees a more nuanced story: the Yankees' middle relief is abominable.

Don't get me wrong, Joba brings the heat and Mo is Mo. But LaTroy Hawkins? He put up an obscene line on Friday (2/3 of an inning, 6 ER's, 0 K's) and has done very little in his 14 year career that would suggest he can pitch in the American League. Even his solid ERA last year (3.42 in Colorado) is largely illusory - batters still hit him at a .286 clip. And we all know the sordid history of pitchers named Hawkins at Yankee stadium.

The rest of the group isn't much more encouraging. Kyle Farnsworth is a headcase. Brian Bruney couldn't find the strike zone with a map and compass (1.65 career WHIP). The rest of the bullpen mix is largely untested. As one beer-sodden gentleman put it on Friday night, "John Abahabala? Who the (expletive) is this?" (I think he was trying to say Jonathan Albaladejo, who was later optioned to Triple A.)

Bottom line: with young starters like Kennedy and Hughes and an aging horse in Mussina, the Yanks are going to need a couple of relievers to carry them through the sixth and seventh innings.

All in all, the Yanks bullpen looks sickly - maybe they've been spending a little too much time at one of those terrific restaurants near the Stadium.

--Whittle