1. The Mets, still not playing like their 2006 selves, will drop two of three to the Nationals at RFK Stadium. While in our nation's capital, noted left-winger Carlos Delgado will ofer encouraging words to his political opposite Karl Rove, saying, "Hey, buddy, we all go through slumps."
2. The Yankees will recover from their funk by taking two of three from the Tigers, evening the four-game series at 2-2. As usual, though, the slumping Mariano Rivera won't get as much rest as promised. He'll get saves Friday and Sunday, and on Saturday, as part of Military Appreciation Day, Joe Torre will ask him to join the Army's Golden Knights Parachute Team.
3. The suddenly relevant Cardinals will sweep the Cubs at Wrigley Field, prompting a frustrated Cubs manager Lou Piniella to moan, "The NL Central is so bad, my Devil Rays teams could've won it!"
4. Not unlike the conclusion to this episode of "Gilligan's Island," the Mariners will wake up Friday and remember they're not as talented as they thought, and subsequently get swept by the White Sox.
5. Bud Selig, upset over the Tigers' lucrative bonus paid to their first-round pick, will also come down on the Mets for sending Rick Peterson to see Pedo Martinez on Monday ("Don't you realize how much airfare costs nowadays?!"), on the Yankees for overpaying the YMCA Dancers ("That song was played out 25 years ago!!") and the Arizona Diamondbacks for the overuse of their retractable roof ("It's not that hot out! People like to sweat!")
I won't be at any baseball games next week. Instead, I'll be at a super-secret location with my family, recharging the proverbial batteries for the stretch drive of the pennant race. Have a great week, and I'll see you again on Monday, August 27.
Comments (5)
I think your call on Mets/Nats is dead on. The team is lifeless, Willie seems aware.
Rove just resigned, likely see a 3-5m advance on his book and have fun with the family. If that's a slump get me one; either way he ain't in DC to catch up with the ailing 1st baseman.
There's a growing trend in sports, arts, etc coverage to interject politics. It sucks, regardless of the point of view expressed.
Enjoy your Vacation.Yanks will be two games behind the Red Sox by the time you return
THE YMCA DANCERS ARE PAID?!?!
I enjoyed your column, Ken. If you keep the momentum going, you could wind up on The Late Night With Letterman show one evening. Nice job!
Notice how Ken always predicts the Mets to lose a series in his weekend predictions? Very predictable predictions, indeed.