Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Karen Bailis

People magazine agrees with Don Imus, at least on some level.

The magazine called Tennessee women’s basketball phenom Candace Parker one of its 100 most beautiful people of 2007. I’m sure she’s flattered, but I’m not sure she felt the same way when Imus called her team “cute” compared with what he and his band of idiots called Rutgers. I’m also sure she’d much rather be known as MVP of the Final Four, which she is, and, of course, as NCAA champion, which she is.

Parker’s looking glam in the People pages amid snaps of the usual sexy suspects Halle Berry, Eva Longoria (sans makeup!) and Jennifer Garner. The only other athletes so honored are Laila Ali, who’s been spending more time dancing with the stars than in the boxing ring, and beach volleyballer Gabrielle Reese. I could find nary a male athlete.

Good for Parker that she looks as good in makeup and a dress as she does throwing down in her sweaty orange-and-white baggy tank and knee-length shorts.

But does it matter? Well, yeah, if she wants to cash in after college. As perhaps the best to play the game, she’ll make roughly $30,000 as a rookie in the WNBA. She’ll make about $80,000 more if she plays overseas. But as perhaps the best to play the game and have a pretty face, she could stand to make millions on Madison Avenue.

Let’s hope that by the time she joins the pro ranks, which could be as soon as next season, the WNBA and other sports professionals have figured out how to market a Candace Parker.

So far, no one’s found the formula and the playing field is littered with failed or failing professional leagues because of it.

Sexy or sporty? Sure, sex sells. Why else would a “100 most beautiful” list exist? Why else would Anna Kournikova still be the most Googled – and ogled – woman athlete?

But why can’t sporty sell, too? Parker is the best player on the best team in the country. And she can play above the rim. The lack of above-the-rim play has long been the knock men use against the women’s game.

Well, here’s a woman who’s shown she can dunk with some consistency and is likely to unleash her slam with greater abandon once she doesn’t have the steely stare of Pat Summitt to contend with. Imagine a matchup between her and Lisa Leslie, the only player to dunk in a WNBA game. The prospect should be inspiring the dunkers who confine their acrobatics to practice to bring it on in primetime.

And it should be inspiring the marketing geniuses to put together reels of Parker dunks, blocks, steals and celebratory chest bumps and saturating the airwaves and every web video site with them.

Back to People. Parker was featured among stars dubbed “Hot in ’07,” holding a basketball and wearing a backless leopard-print dress, her hair unbraided and flowing down her back. Sexy AND sporty.

In the text, she confides she doesn’t wear makeup when she’s on the court. “Some players wear makeup to games, but I can’t because I’m always wiping my face. That would be very unbeautiful!”

Indeed.

“But I don’t really worry about how I look when I am playing. You’re thinking about winning, and winning is a beautiful thing!”

Right on!