Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

Some thoughts a few days into the 2006 FIFA World Cup:

* It always amazes me how a 3-0 score is only considered a thorough drubbing in soccer.

* I wish I was on Little Brazil Street in Manhattan (46th Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenue) on Tuesday afternoon when Brazil played Croatia. If you've never been over there during a World Cup, go! It's a great scene and if you can't have fun there, turn in your personality.

* Soccer is widely unappreciated in America, which is somewhat of a shame. It can be a very interesting sport once you remove all the hooliganism and the fake dives  and then study the geometry of the game. How many other sports feature the science of going backwards as a viable strategy toward victory?

* I paused for a few moments of silence at the start of the Italy-Ghana game in honor of Paolo Maldini, my second favorite soccer player of all time. He retired from international play following  the 2002 World Cup.

* I'm fairly excited to still proudly own the back cover from a 1994 Newsday celebrating Roberto Baggio's two late goals as Italy beat Nigeria in the USA '94. The headline: Italian Hero. Nice!

* Valentin Ivanov may be the most clueless referee in World Cup history. How is it possible that he missed that handball in the box during the France-Switzerland match? Let's see. The ball is sailing through the air and has clearly passed the defender's body. All of a sudden, the ball darts to the ground as the defender's arm is extended behind him. C'mon, guy? That's just plain awful. I was watching at the gym about 20 feet away from the television and saw it happen? And this guy was right there. Just plain awful, perhaps even worse than the dives players fake to draw fouls.

* Nike's U.S. soccer marketing slogan coming into the World Cup:  "The world no longer wants to play us." Oopsies. It would appear Croatia had no problem playing Team USA. Perhaps a new billboard and slogan is needed. A suggestion: "Oh yeah? Well, our football is better than your football!"