Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

It appears another baseball season is on the verge of beginning. It appears the Yankees again rank among the favorites to win another World Series.

None of us in baseball land know for sure what will happen in the next six months of games, box scores, 15-day DL trips, tweaked hammies, strained rotator cuffs and beanings.

That's what makes it fun. And with George Steinbrenner itching for another World Series ring before he eventually passes his kingdom to son-in-law Steve Swindal, anything is possible for the 2006 Yankees.

I begin my 24th year as a viable Yankee fan, and by "viable" I mean, sure I could say I've been a Yankee fan my entire life, but the truth is I was 3 years old when the Yankees won the 1978 World Series and I have no working recollection of anything Yankee before 1983. (Sadly, I do recall the Gary Ward days, the Britt Burns trade fiasco and Ron Hassey being dealt to and from the Yankees and White Sox what seemed like every weekend.)

With that in mind, here are a few things I'd enjoy seeing from the 2006 Yankees as they chase ring No. 27:

- Some small ball. Wouldn't it be nice to see a hit-and-run or a sacrifice once in a while instead of relying on the big fly?

- A manufactured run. My dream scenario for the first inning on Opening Day: Johnny Damon walks to lead off. He steals second base. Derek Jeter bunts him over to third. Hideki Matsui (or whoever bats third) hits a sacrifice fly for the 1-0 lead.

- A rookie in the rotation. Surely, a Yankee starter will get hurt and miss a few starts. Let's see the next Chien-Ming Wang come up and make a name for himself and NOT get traded. That would be grand.

- Complete games. The Yankees had eight last year, which somewhat surprisingly was 10th best in the majors and 5th best in the American League.

- 2-1 games. They really are a pleasure to view. Just think about it: You have to watch the Yankees hit AND pitch in the later innings, rather than diverting your attention when they're not at the plate.

- Bernie Williams. It would be grand to see the Yankee lifer excel in his new role as a part-time outfielder and part-time DH. For old times sake.

- Don Mattingly at the plate. It's a longshot, and by longshot I mean flat-out impossible. But who among us wouldn't quit their job and race to the ballpark if they found out No. 23 was in the order one night?

- Rebirth of a rival. Enough of this Yankees-Red Sox mayhem from the past three seasons. Remember when we despised the Orioles and Rangers?

- Roger Clemens in pinstripes. Won't happen, but when the opportunity to watch, in person, one of the five greatest pitchers of all time presents itself, you can only hope it happens.

- A whopping curveball from a lefty. Sadly, that probably won't happen until the weekend of May 12-14 when Oakland and Barry Zito visit the Stadium.

- The 314-foot home run. It really is wonderful to revel in a Yankee's clearing of the short porch in right field and twice as wonderful to complain about the short porch in right field when an opponent dinks one over the 314-foot sign.

- John Sterling. Well, at least on those few ocassions when you feel like you can deal with his theatrical style without wanting to jump in the bathtub with the radio still plugged in.

- Carl Pavano. Is he still employed?

- A-Rod on the field. He plays the heck out of third base these days.

- A-Rod off the field. How long until people start getting on him for no good reason?

- The Patton music. No matter your opinion on the FAN's Mike and the Mad Dog, you have to laugh when they play the music from the movie "Patton" in the background as they read a George Steinbrenner missive on the air. That's when you know the baseball season is in full swing.