On Bernie Williams . . .
You should have said, “This man could not throw William “The Refrigerator” Perry out while trying to stretch a routine single into two.” HE WAS AN AVERAGE PLAYER WHO BENEFITED FROM THE WORLD SERIES WINS.
-- Stephen T., New York City
Dear Steve,
Easy does it with the ALL CAPS there, fella. No need to scream. I used to think the same way. Then I went back and looked at his career numbers. He had a five-year stretch of spectacular seasons. Sure, that's partially a byproduct of the lineup, but in those years, Williams was the feared bat. However, I'm still upset about him not taking a pitch in Game 5 of the 1997 ALDS. Paul O'Neill is still clutching onto second base waiting for his hamstrings to catch up to him on that single he made a double.
On the Yankees in general . . .
MVP! MVP! Does it stand for May Valuable Player?
-- Anonymous, Parts unknown
Dear Anonymous,
Such hatred for A-Rod, or as message board visitors prefer: May-Rod. The title of "Mr. May" already belongs to Dave Winfield and that's way too good to reuse on A-Rod. Surely, in time, Alex will earn his own nickname. I suggest the following phrase be prevalent at Yankee Stadium next season: "Now batting for the Yankees . . . third baseman . . . John Starks." A 2-for-15 series from the plate is not much different than a 2-for-19 game from the field.
Nothing better to see the Yankees get beat.
-- Frank T., Parts unknown
Dear Frank,
Four years ago, I'd trace your IP address and come looking for you. I'm more mellow now, a product of advancing age and Atlanta Braves-esque apathy toward the postseason. Plus, I enjoy the fact that I have much less work to do now that the Yanks are out of it. Nonetheless, it's always fun to walk around in the Big Apple and feel the World Series buzz during random parts of the day. But that won't happen this year, so let the Yankee haters rejoice. They really should unionize and throw a parade down 5th Avenue.
On Chad and the Jets . . .
I made the mistake of wearing a Chad Pennington jersey to a Patriots game in Foxboro last year - one of about three green jerseys in the whole place. I was purposely jostled (body-checked would be more accurate) in the beer line and subject to a lot of verbal abuse from above and below.
The people next to me -- three old New Englanders -- gave me some good-natured ribbing throughout the game. The best line: "I don't have to remember where I'm sitting. I just come out and look for Chaaaad!" Go Vinnie.
-- Mark Mahoney, Parts unknown.
Dear Mark,
Best thing to do in that situation is locate the nearest cop, stand behind him then start mouthing off like only a good New Yorker can. I applaud your inner strength for wearing a Jets jersey in New England. I'm sure you were furious over the $35 parking fee. Damn New Englanders! They win a Super Bowl or three and now they think they're Julius Caesar.
Can you think of any way the Jets could have alienated their fans more? Signing a 99-year lease with New Jersey and moving the practice facility there! As a former season ticket holder I refuse to pay $80 a ticket, $15 to park plus the 5 hours worth of gas to get to and from the game. Unfortunately this deal seals the fate of the soon to be New Jersey Jets. This is probably the saddest day in the history of New York Jets fans. I am disappointed in both the team and the NY officials for their inability to agree on stadium plans that would have kept the Jets close to their fan base.
-- John S., West Islip
Dear John,
I feel your pain. Trekking to Jersey to watch the Jets is quite an endeavor. Getting out of the stadium is like trying to taking off wet UnderArmour leggings in less than 10 seconds. Nothing anyone can do about ticket prices except suck it up and pay for the right to watch 4-yard passes on third-and-5. Plus, it's only 8 days a year, and neither one of us will live to see the end of the lease, so let's just enjoy the tailgate.
Just read your weblog on newsday.com and was wondering how you could leave out the guest appearances of such Jets greats as Tony Eason and Glenn Foley.
-- Mike R., Formerly of Ithaca
Dear Mike,
You'd think the foibles of Eason and Foley would be inculcated in my brain! But alas, even the brightest among us need someone to build a bridge to our suppressed painful memories.
On the U.S. Open . . .
Thanks for the humorous words about the US Open. Why are the players wearing the same outfits match after match?
Kerby H., Tulsa, Okla.
Dear Kerby,
Glad to see my humor translates well in Oklahoma! It's really a shame to see the players wear the same outfits each match. This occurs mostly with the women's players, since their fashion gets called into play almost as much as their tennis during the New York fortnight. Personally, I'd enjoy seeing Miss Sharapova mix it up a little more. Then again, I'd enjoy seeing Miss Sharapova in sweatpants, leg warmers, a Sergio Tacchini windbreaker and an Easter bonnet, but hey, that's just me.
On Willie Gault . . .
Just read your June piece about Willie Gault and his track and field prowess. He is also somewhat of a financial whiz it seems. Another thing former pro football players are not known for. He is soon to be part owner of the airline I fly for, Aloha Airlines.
-- Ken C., Former Newsday paperboy 1968-71
Dear Ken,
He practices all day, dances all night, he's gotta get ready for the Sunday flight!