I'll be away all week so here's your chance to fill in for me. Write a short punchline for this cartoon and post it in the comments section. When I return we'll review the entries and pick the top 3. The winner will get a signed color print of this toon with their punchline. The winning toon will also run in Newsday along with the finalists' names and I'll post it all here as well.
Keep it clean and have fun!!!
---Walt
Comments (360)
So little time, so much good to accomplish. When should we start?
What else can we f*^% up?
I think now is good time for another vacation....
Please God, just let us get through it.
Did you see Letterman last nite? Man, the people realy love me!!
Just for kicks, let's pass universal health care before we leave...
Our work is done here Dick, shall we work on that list of Presidential Pardons now?
Why don't we get away on a hunting trip. I think I should go out with a bang.
Well Dick, I think It's time to admit that 'My Daddy made me do it!'.
Well Dick, we both lost a bundle in our blind trusts due to the bad market. Think it's too late to privatize the IRS?
we still got 6 ummm 7 ummm . . . some months to figure on how we can get me re-electified
Dick, clearing brush is at the top of my agenda. Why don't you hold down the fort 'til January.
Hot diggity, just 119 more days till Crawford, here I come!
Do you honestly think ANYONE can clean up this mess?
So little time, so much to destroy before the Rapture!
" Do you REALLY think Capt. Stubing will let be drive the boat?"
(just leave it blank, or use random words - that's what he usually says anyway)
Creatificate the vastful abundantic pardons list and start planning the BBQ / Super Bowl party at the Crawford Ranch on our second Sunday off.
Gee-wizzickers Uncle Dick, only 120 days left! What else can we $@#$-up?
1 – Creatificate the vastful abundantic pardons list.
2 – Plan the Crawford Ranch BBQ / Super Bowl party
for our second Sunday off.
This means immortality— things are so messed up I’ll never be forgotten!
JUST LEAVE IT BLANK! That says it all ;)
Dang it Dick, you know I HATE it when you read the comics over my shoulder!
Wait a minute, Dick. Did you ever find those WMDs?
order the Thanksgiving Turkey for the White House.
what else is there?
Gee wiz we can still
make it to EuroDisney !
Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
I think I’ll end my presidency the way I started it! How many days of accrued vacation time do I have left?
Square away the economy... Check
Increase profits for our oil buddies... Check
Get the war with North Korea ready... Check
Leave the biggest mess the world has ever seen... we're still working on that one, right Dicky?
George Bush you have just ended the worst presidential campaign in the history of America. Killed the dollar single handedly. Started an illegal war. Which have lost millions of Americans their jobs and homes. What are you going to do now???
I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!!
Mmmm..... Disneyland looks interesting!
empty as my head
Just bring me a copy of My Pet Goat, and I'll leave the rest of this stuff for you to tidy up, Dick.
I understand your concerns, Dick, but did we really need to repeat "Pardon Cheney" 50 times per page?
Just bring me a copy of My Pet Goat, and I'll leave the rest of this stuff for you to tidy up, Dick.
Even that smarty-pants Charles Gibson didn't know "Preemptive Pardons" were part of the "Bush Doctrine."
Well, we've just about bankrupted the nation...think we can go ahead now and just proclaim me Pharaoh?
The only thing left is to tidy up some details for the Presidential Library... Fire up the shredder Dick!
Man the shredders!
Hold yer horses, Dick! You can read Marmaduke AFTER I'm finished reading Garfield.
Mission Accomplished!
Thanks for the suggestion, Dick. Martial law will round out my legacy nicely.
"So there's the small matter of my legacy..."
Dick, I told you before. We are not going to invade Iran
It's really only going to be 60 days- gotta have some vacation time in Crawford.
The economy, the Middle East, the Gulf Coast, the Constitution, the environment, America's reputation: there must be SOMETHING else to shoot in the face -- right, Dick?
The Bush Savings & Loan Plan—I like it. Borrow the money from Social Security and loan it to Wall Street, with bundled mortgages as security. What could go wrong?
Wall Street's done—I think the only think left I can screw up is "American Idol!"
Submission Accomplished!
"Wow Dick!!! ... I had no idea ....Isreal really won a war in 6 days!!!
Even with my fuzzy math ... that's 20 more wars I can win!!!
Just imagine the headlines Dick ..... That's a "Mission Accomplished" every week!!!"
Well, Dick, our secret plan to destroy the credibility of the Republican Party from within is almost complete.
Dick, can I really become president-for-life?
When you're done, just lleave the keys on the counter next to the fridge, Dick.
Isn't it funny how they think we're actually going to leave in 4 months, Dick?
Constitution, shmonstitution! There's got to be a way for us to parlay this into a third term.
Wow, I didn't anticipate such a full agenda.... 2 weeks in Crawford, t-ball on the White House lawn, hosting the women's beach volley ball team, return to Crawford, Barney's grooming appointment, shampoo Oval Office rug, Crawford BBQ ......
Well, we did it! Bankrupted the nation, morally & now financially. .. Mission Accomplished! As long as there's gas for Air Force One to get me down to my retirement ranch in Paraguay and you back to Manchuria, right Dick!
Why don't you take it from here, Dick?
"NO! NO! NO! Dick!... We c'ant offer to sell the oil fields in Texas to the Saudis!."
So much time, so little to do... Wait! Strike that, reverse it.
Well, what's left to screw up?
Well, what's left to screw up?
Dick, we've mortgaged everything else in the country, how much you think the Chinese would give us for a mortgage on the White House before we leave?
Well, what's left to screw up?
Oh boy! I get to build a pillow fort, AND hide under it?
Once we've given the $700 billion to Wall Street, the Treasury will finally be empty and we can go home.
So Dick, did I miss anything the last couple of weeks?
I wonder how much we can charge for saving our Wall Street buddies....enough for our libraries, you think, Dick? Iraq worked out quite well for us, agreed?
Dick, are we done yet?
"Well, at least things can't get any worse."
Ruined chances for peace in the Middle East?
Check.
Broke our military?
Check.
Destroyed our economy?
Check.
OK, Dick. I guess I have time to go quail hunting.
Where am I, and what are these squiggly black lines? I can has cookie, Uncle Dick?
Just four more monthly payments and I get my soul back, right?
"I don't remember.... Were we for smaller or bigger government"?
Anything left to ruin, Dick?
"Hey Dick! Look! There's a sale at Macy's!"
Okay, let's see: Crawford for 10 weeks, Camp David for 4 weeks, Kennebunkport for 3 weeks, and one day here in the Oval Office... looks like we've got our vacation plans covered!
"Think hard Dick. There's got to be something we've overlooked."
Another slam dunk
Heck with giving some speeches, just to replenish the ol' coffers. Ten percent kickback from Wall Street exec's on 700 billion will fill those ole coffers of mine just fine.
Who knew Monopoly could be so much fun, Dick All this life and property and funny money to play with and I got the Get Out Jail Free Card, too!
Can I read "My Pet Goat" again, uncle Dick?
911 and the war on terrorism, Iraq and now the economy: Let's go for another trifecta, Dick!
The printer must be out of ink, Dick. All the pages are all blank.
Oh no, only sixteen more issues of Sunday comics left in our subscription!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Let's see, Dick, you got your buddies ready to open the valve on the Iraqi oil when you say "GO". I got some buds prepared to load planes and get food to all them sufferin' poor people when I say so.
But they won't vote for me, so I gots me a SWEET F150 you can help me break in down at Crawford. I'll get a keg. Let's boogy before they notice!
You were right, Dicky. Making time for ‘The Family Circus’ and “Dilbert’ has been crucial.
I fly and you spy!!!!!
Nope... This one's all words too.
Dang, Dick. Sure wish I hadn't made that promise to give up golf.
Uncle Dickie when can I say 'this ain't my first rodeo' again?
I guess yer right, Dick. This mess does require a third term. Let me know if I can make some calls.
"When do I get to put on that flight suit again?"
What a great run - I think we should go out with a big finish. Got any ideas, Dick?
What a great run - I think we should go out with a big finish. Got any ideas, Dick?
Dick! Get me some crayons, this looks important!
Here ya go Dick, 120 days of vacation. I LOVE THIS JOB!
no words are needed, just show thought bubbles for both bush and cheney.
And to think, this desk was all clear when we started this gig.
Lets see...
Iraq? check.
Cold War warming? check.
Fuel prices soaring? check.
Now we can relax and enjoy the economy!
Well, Dickie boy, I think you're right. I suppose we can give that bombing Iran idea of yours another shot.
Dick...exactly how DO you arm a geddon?
Hey Dick,
This reminds me of the end of my national guard hitch....I think I'll just get out of town early. You can take it from here can't you.
I'm been taken so seriously for the past eight years. Let's get real stupid for the last 120 days. Whadda' ya think, Dick?
Well, well, well, looks like we got a little bit more vacation time.
Look! They’re no longer calling me a lame duck!
OK, in the name of the war on terror we've nationally socialized the police, the National Guard, telecommunications, public utilities, transportation, traditional news media, postal and shipping services, the hospitality industry and the financial sector. I'm feeling a bit hungry after all that. What should the government take over next, Burger King or McDonald's?
With my final 120 day period I will aim to do things to make all the previous 120 day periods look like I was the best president ever!
Well, Dick, that'll do it. My legacy's all set... all that's left is to enjoy the warm feelin's.
Gee, Dick, with only 120 days left, do we have enough time
to screw up something else?
Destabilize the Middle East... Check.
Bankrupt the Treasury... Check.
Alienate our World allies... Check.
Abandon our moral leadership... Check.
Looks like our work is done, Dick.
Heh! Countdown to party! Say, Dick, get my daddy on the phone! If they liked me in oil and baseball, after this the press and those guys'll love me at the SEC! I'm a shoe-in!
--hey,dick--whats this small print on back were i sign my name?-how come halliburton is going to protect us instead of secret service?-and why is dubai listed as place to send our retirement checks?---its ok mr president just sign same,have i given you any bad information in 8 yrs?--heeheeheehee!
Find and kill Osama Bin Ladin, Bring democracy to Iraq, ban Gay marriage, finish The Little Engine That Could.....
Next on the list of things to "fix" is ...
So little time, so much left to destroy
Evreeone thought ma daddy was so great for invading Iraq and bailin out da savins & loans. But Pappy's war and bailout can no way hold a candle to mine!
See, 120 whole days left, see, there must be something else I can foul up!
Why, I've done a heckuva job, Cheney!
The Democrat Party's been pickin' on me about spending so much time at the ranch. Maybe I could do Aruba this month?
Only 120 days left? Hey Dick, let's party like its 1999! That Prince dude is my kinda guy!...
Seven Hundred Billion is quite a haul - could I do Aruba this month instead of the ranch?
Well, Dick, we're just about finished.
It's a nice little country my fellow Americans have. Be a shame if some kind of Wall Street crisis made it bankrupt. Shall we put the Congress down for, oh, say 700 Billion dollars? Yeah, see?
Thanks to Palin and Wall Street, the press is gonna miss most of this.
Leave the balloon empty.
Show me the page that lists my benefits after I leave office
also
Where do I file this?
also
My favorijte page is the one that mentions trillions. I must have done a really good job to get a number that high published.
Dick, what in the heck is IZO day? I am almost out of office and you are hitting me up with an IZO Day Agenda. They better be wealthy.
What comes after #120: Pardon Dick Cheney?
$700 Bijillion! Dick, that's a great idea for a going away present to my base!
Dick, Anything else left to mess up?
"Unka Dick, our work here is almost done. Got any last minute requests? Somethin' that'll let us go out with a bang, a really big bang. I like really big bangs. I blew up frogs with firecrackers as a kid, ya know. Huh, Unka Dick, huh, huh?"
four months??? let's see there must be some large scale improvements left for us to put our special touch on...
AND WE'LL SNEAK A MIDNIGHT PROVISION INTO THE BAILOUT THAT FROM NOW ON, ONLY HOMEOWNERS CAN VOTE.
I hear those fellows in Saló only had that much time in the first place. Let's get ready to outstrip 'em, Dick!
"Well, I'll be looking forward to a little bird hunting -- wanna join me? "
We've messed up almost everything. What's left!
What's still standing?
Wow, now McCain is blasting us. Dick, why don't you take John hunting?
Hey look, Uncle Dick. Beetle Bailey tripped Sarge again with the mop.
Hey Dick, good news- the new season of Heroes started! Anything else going on?
You know, I've always wanted to try water-skiing in the south fountain...
Only 4 more months before history starts vindicating us!
Only 4 more months before history starts vindicating us!
you take the drapes I'll hide same camera's under the desk.
great plan, Dick. Paulson and Bernanke hold them down and we'll pick their pockets.
Yes Dicky, I think our legacy is secure.
Bail out!!!
Golly gee Uncle Dick. We sure have made a big mess for someone else to clean up!
Well Dick, not much longer until the end of a Great Error! I mean Era! (That's the right word isn't it Dick?)
Oooh, Uncle Dick... How about something for their pets?!!
Ah the good-ol photo-op with Osama! Should I wear the Blue suit or Black?
Well Dick, it's not all that bad. At least we have the oil companies lining our pockets.
Alright, Dickie me boy! Let's see, our cut of the $700 billion bail out plan is........
Alright, Dickie me boy! Let's see, our cut of the $700 billion bail out plan is........
Gee DICK, are you sure it will help McSame if we invade Iran?”
Well, Dickie me boy! Let's see, our cut of the $700 billion bail out plan is.......
"Are you sure I can commute your sentence before I leave office when you haven’t been convicted yet, DICK?”
What's, A-gen-da?
Hey Dick, think I have a shot at being P.M. like Vladimir Putin?
You know what we should do, Cheney? Do what we always do...Nothing!
I never had an agenda before, why do I need one now? Besides, what's an agenda?
I love that marmaduke!
Looking at this, you'd think the country had problems or something?
Does anybody really think this cartoon needs a caption? Seems just right as is.
Four more months to go Dick and we'll have proved PT Barnum wrong...you can fool all the people all the time!
Well Dick, another mission accomplished
Let's see, where did all those vacation pamphlets go?
Let’s see, where did all those vacation pamphlets go?
...120 DAYS???....I thought I was out of here in 4 months!
1. Steal towels and little shampoo bottles from Camp David.
2. Bail out Wall Street buddies with $750 Billion of taxpayers’ dollars.
3. Pass off floundering “War on terror” to next dummy elected.
"We really fooled them Dick, they thought we didn't have an EXIT STRATEGY".
Hey Dick, how's a 4 month stay at the ranch sound?
Its all come full circlated...
We started out doing nuttin' ... and we end doin' nuttin' ....
Hey Dick! Look! Macys is having an "End of the Term" Sale!
Gee, I don't know Dick, they're bound to miss the Constitution.
So how much vacation time do I have left?
Do you think the American people will believe it if we told them that the Credit Crisis is the result of WFMD - Weapons of Financial Mass Destruction?
Wait, Dick -- this means I have to move out of the White House... How am I going to get a mortgage if I am unemployed!!!!
WHAT!?!?!??!?!?! THE RANGERS ARE NOT MAKING THE PLAYOFFS?!?!?!?!?!?
What do you mean, "we have to leave?" I'm the KING, dagnabbit -- for as long as I SAY I am! Now go bring me some brie and cheese...
1. September - Keep out of sight. Get some rest.
2. October - Clear brush in Crawford.
3. November - Pardon the Thanksgiving turkey.
4. December - Light the Christmas tree.
Other than that, the schedule's clear until January!
I know we got tough work ahead of us today, Dicky, but if we can just find the right drapery for the ranch I’ll bet $700billion we can also make the four o’clock showing of "Tropic Thunder" in Dupont.
You’re right, Dicky. It would be unfair to the wife and the ranch if I didn’t make it to this half-off sale.
Hmm, another sale… Dick, do you ever have that horrible feeling you haven’t done everything in your power to prepare the vacation home for the long haul?
"Worst part of this is, after years of making me the president look like Rod Serling, now that Walt Handyman's gonna have to learn to draw somebuddy else, maybe gooder. So far his McCain looks like Sinatra and his Obama looks like sump'm between a giraffe and Lena Horne."
Got to get the morons to swallow one more time, Uncle Dick!
We have a lot of unfinished business, Dick. How many millionaires out there still waiting for us to make 'em billionaires?
“This is really depressing…. I thought the Rangers had a chance to make the playoffs.”
Well Dick, can you believe it!!! We're leaving the white house and NOT in handcuffs!!!!!
"If I only had a brain....la la la la la la"
Let's see... I'll take one from column A and 2 from column B.
This must be that phased withdrawl plan Obama was talking about.
Dick, I'd say it's high time you took Obama bird hunting.
Are you sure that everyone who needs to be is on this pardon list?
No criminal member of this administration left behind unpardoned, heh-heh...
Randy Newman was right:
"They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now"
Thanks for finally letting me into the Oval Office Mr. Cheney. Look at all these important...ooh, this chair spins all the way around!
Dick...only 120 days left to use the presidential jet....I want to spend Thanksgiving in L.A., Christmas in N.Y., New Years in Miami.....and the rest of my life collecting my presidential pension!
Well...let's see Dick....the Iraq war is being fought with a lack of direction and no real defined enemy, gas prices are skyrocketing and will never be low again, major financial institutions are collapsing daily, the middle class cannot afford a college education and the average Joe cannot pay their mortgage due to unregulated banking practices.
Our pockets are lined.....our job here is done Dick.
Gee W, ya think Uncle Hank Paulson will be able to pull this off this heist? It be great to throw in the trumped up bad debt of Haliburton and Carlyle group while he's on a roll, sure would please the Saudi royals, not to mention my new grandchilds scholarship fund!
Whata country......
"What do I want to do tonight!!!??? The same thing we do every night, Dicky—try to take over the world."
"What does the 120 mean?"
Well Dick, let's see......the war is flailing with no defined enemy, major financial institutions are collapsing, the middle class cannot afford a college education and or their mortgages health care is a nightmare.
Our pockets are lined.....our work here is done Dick.
"Only a few more months until we get bailed out too."
Well Dick, The war in Iraq goes on, the economy is at a record low, and gas prices are at an historic high. It's good to go out on top, and that's final I guess.
Dick are you thinking "99 bottles of beer on the wall". wall street, dinner tonight ,hunting again in the spring? Or are you just praying for Sarah to sit in your chair?
Sure, I'd love to go hunting with you Dick.
Let's get Tom DeLay and go trick or treatin'.
"Let's get Tom DeLay and go trick or treatin'."
Gosh, Dick, all this mismanagement and I'm STILL HUNGRY...hope you left some room for DESSERT!
Lets go quail huntin, Dick. Then I think I'll go chop some brush back at the Crawford ranch. Nuthin else to do around here.
Well Dick, now that we've removed the unnecessary items and finalized the last agenda - shall we order lunch in ?
Hold on a minute… So what you’re saying is … If THIS is the Sudoku puzzle, then where the heck did I put that gosh-darn financial plan I’ve been workin’ on?
Let's start marking the days off the calendar! In only 120 days, we are OUT OF HERE!!
Hey Dick! Did you see this Walt Handelsman cartoon? How come we haven't offered him a position in our administration? Let's get him on the line and see if he can draw us up a sketch of a bailout plan which we could present to the American public.
Lets see now... economic collapse, soaring gas prices, perpetual war, domestic spying, torture, stolen elections... my my there must be something else we can do before we leave.
If I had any friends left I could put them in charge
and concentrate on that Mission to Mars!
Better get to tidying up your bunker, Dick. The second-most secretive V-P in American history is on her way!
Invade China!
What could go wrong?
Dick, you've done it again.
I've no idea how my tab at the Wall Street Inn got to be $700 billion but the bullion at Knox will cover it when gold goes for $4,749.02 per ounce.
You said they'd fall in line if we added a few zeroes, stamped our feet, and said, "Now!" I didn't even have to hold my breath.
I found this great plastic surgeon, I'll have my ears pinned back and you can have your mouth centered over your chin.
Dick, do you know what "Korsakoff syndrome" means?
This is easy.....let's ask Congress for a $750 billion and call it a "SURGE". Who would dare vote against it??
Which crisis can we transform into a catastrophe next?
I dunno. What do you want to do?
It's a good thing our 8 years are up, Dick. There's nothing left to screw up!
We have to get $ 700 billion past so we have some pocket change Dick!!
We don't care if we screw the Poor Working Middle Class do we.
They tried to impeach Richard Nixon, he a saint compared to the George and Dick.
uh...um...well...I'm pleased as punch with what I was able to do so far....mmmmm....have some time left...what to do..what to do...conomy's good, uh can't do that...umm..banks are flourishin..can't to that...Hey Dickie..go get your gun and we can rustle up that Whitehouse Thanksgiving Turkey....chase him around the lawn...ummm yea.
This reminds me of that brief "Bin Laden to strike in U.S." - Well, it looks like I'm gonna have some time for brush clearin' in Crawford!
Take care of this for me, will ya Dick? I'm headin' to Crawford.
I think I"ll go meet Howie and do Deal or No Deal, maybe the banker can help me out
Well Dick, this is a hard one especialy when we have done nothing the first 2800 days. With only 120 days left, I say lets stay the course.
Wait...what?!? Where's the sports section?
Lame duck? I'm not lame...now, Dick grab some of those pretty papers and help me finish this super cool nest.
Ummm, Dick?? Haven't we already given money to rich people? Why are we going to do it again?
Dick, "I'll be long gone before some smart person figures out what happened inside this Oval Office!"
Hey Dick: We have a unilaterally induced military conflict, created social unrest, and economic chaos. I think our mission is complete. Your choice, golf or quail hunting.
"Well Dick, only 120 more days to go and I still have 500 words to publicly mispronounce!"
"Dang it, Dick! Obama is going to get all the credit when we eventually find the Nigerian yellowcake uranium in Iraq!!!"
OK - what have you got for me?
1) Glue the desk drawers shut
2) Put gum in the key holes
3) Turn all the lightbulbs in the ballroom chandelier...
Oh, good job - this book is SO much more fun than the ones Congress gave me!
--Hey,DICK-DO YOU THINK I SHOULD PARDON US NOW? IF WE JUST RUN AWAY LIKE YOU WANT WON'T THEY JUST COME AFTER US? I MEAN ISN'T IT LIKE FOOL ME ONCE AND AH,FOOL ME TWICE AND AH,AH--AH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,DICK-AH,DICK WHY ARE YOU WRINGING YOUR HANDS LIKE THAT?AH,DICK YOU ARE STARTING TO SCARE ME!--D I C K!!!
Rumy's book & speech tour ain't doing so well, let's squeeze the Oil 401K's one last time
Please stop moving your lips when I'm talking, Dick. People are going to figure out what's going on!
Hey Dick! We only have 120 days left to feed the comedians material. Let's come up with some good ones for them to remember us by!
Hey Dick, Grab me one of those smelly marker things so we can scratch out Final and mark it First.
Let's see. We beat the turrists. We've successfully democrified Iraq. We've rescuedled the people of New Orleans and salvifified the economy. That Nobel Prize nominification should be ours any day now!
Well Dick: What else can we screw up? Times a wasting.
Ruin oil company, check. Choose ruthless running mate, check. Steal election, check. Destroy Iraq, check. Ruin America, check. Leave major mess for some one else to clean up, that's a big check. Well Dick that everything on the list.
Well dang, Dick. We're almost done here. I can't wait to catch up on my comic books
Tell you what George, why don' you go hunting and I'll go fishing!
Time’s running out. Can’t I make a couple of my own decisions now?
Listen, Dick, if we time this right our administration will be remembered for saving the world economy and all the other stuff will be forgotten!
So maybe we can start another war, make some fat cats fatter and then leave on a long vacation?
Hey Dick. How bout them Cowboys?
Oh, I LOVE Garfield. Dick, why don't you take care of this other stuff while I look at the pictures.
Hey! Dick? You still have time to go to Paraguay with me and get some more cheap property.
This could be the perfect time to expand the Pheasant hunting season!
Take over, Dick. I got brush to clear.
WOW! 120 more days. Quick, think of something else I can ruin.
Dick... Call back the caterer....A little confusion over $700 Billion isn't going to stop the barbeque at Crawford this weekend.!!!
I have to be real careful about my legacy here, Dick. What else can I screw up?
Let’s see; war, recession, bailouts, our country’s reputation, what else can we do Dick?
So, Dick two wars, ear dropping on the people, a hunting accident, and a recession, all i have to say is that it was an honor being YOUR vice president.
well dick, we did everything we set out to do. it has been great working with you.
...Just 2 more months to continue our history making, nukeular- like disasters. Just promise me you won't go lame duck hunting.
Say Dick,
Did you have someone check the sales ads for all those paper shredders we're going to need?
now uhh, let's see here, Dick who do we think's been naughty
and who has been nice ....
What else can we invest in after this god awful tour of duty is over?
Oooh, look, Dick, my latest vacation brochure came in--just in time!
Dick, it seems McCain has sent us a "To NOT Do List"!
No, Dick, don't read me this one, read the one about the Pet Goat.
Wow, it's planned out right to the end--then I can start my second term, right Dick?
They finally did this right--the pictures are in color!
I can't believe the ending they came up with: Day 120, Attend Nader Inauguration.
I can't believe all the junk mail I get!
EXCELLENT!! I just got my latest connect-the-dots compilation!
"Bailout Negotiations"?? Looks like there's gonna be math in this one, Dick!
Ooops, looks like they accidently sent me some of your mail, Dick.
Dick...Where is that new paper shredder you ordered? It's time to clean up the mess!
World War III and a second Great Depression! Mission Accomplished!!!
Well Dick, time sure does fly. Seems like high school all over again. only difference is no final exams... Whew, I bet that would be tough...
sung to the tune of "100 bottles of beer"
120 days of "Dubyah" sign on the wall...
120 days more for President Bush....
If before that time, the economy falls...
Oops, to late, its the Democrats fault...
If I could do it all over again, there is only one thing I would change Dick.... I would have bought you X-Box instead of you talkin me into that hunting gun....
Dick, I just had a thought....
Oh no! Not another fixed withdrawal date!
Geez, what a way to find out we owe China $500 billion, isn't that what McSame said last night? A hell of a debater, the man really fooled me, he talks as if he really knows something. He and Pain will pick up just where we left off, America will starve. Then we can say: Mission Accomplished. Game over.
Isn't it a comfort Dick to know we've done so much for our country. We can be proud, but we owe it to he American people to get McPalin elected so they can continue our good works. Oh, just tell me what we did right in America so we can convince the voters to give McPalin the chance to set women back into the dark ages, punish hardworking taxpaying Americans who should have known better than to play by the rules, and finally find Bin Laden. We must get these two clowns elected by hook or by crook. Crook has always worked, so let's start campaigning.
Dick, I'm getting the sinking feeling we aint gonna fool all of the people this time, don't you?
I have an old friend at that old firm, Dewey Cheatem and Howe. I'll get in touch, they'll know just how to solve this finanscal crisis. That's the ticket Dick!
Ya know, Dick, I'm really sorry that you didn't get to be president even for one day. I know you were looking forward to it...
DIck, It's been 7 years and 8 months can I run the country for the next 4 months please?
So much to do and so little time...
So much to do, so little time...
You know Dick, Laura said history will vindicate me. Ya did a heck of a good job, Cheney, a heck of a job!
What? We still got another 120 days? Mission been Accomplished, let's go hunting.
"Do we really have to attack Liechtenstein? I thought we don't have any interests in Africa anymore..."
We keep telling them the economy is good......then we click our heels together three times and say "there's no place like the white house"!
Well Dick 120 days left. We can still set up marshal law, prepare for the yard sale of military goods to the Middle East and drive the dollar further down to .25 cents. We can do that easy.
Let's invade Iran and bomb Korea the day before we go and see how well the new guy handles it! Heh, heh, heh...
Dick, I like what you have me doing.
We keep telling them the economy is good......then we click our heels together three times and say "there's no place like Wall Street"!
Well Dick, the Constit... the Con sta... now hold on...
I'll git what it says it before the 120 days...
Final 120 days? Am I still president?
We bombed Afganistan, Irag and got Saddam. Ignored Katrina, made oil supplies leaner. The dollar is weaker, the economy bleaker... and look at these Mets! What else can we ruin Sat... um, Dick.
Come on Dick.....sing along with me....One Hundred and Twenty Days To Go.....do da....do da.....our bags are packed...we got our dough...all the do da day......m m m m mmm.....m m m m mmm...he he he he he ooyeah!
Come on Dick.....sing along with me.......One Hundread and Twenty Days To Go..........do da....do da.....our bags are packed....we got "our" dough....all the do da day.....m m m m mmm.....m m m m mmm.......he he he he he ooyeah!
Lets see.......my CD at Washington Mutual should mature by then.
Umm....120 days left...where do I hide...I mean go...Uh..Russia?..can't speak the language...Iraq?....maybe find a trap door in the desert.....umm....South korea?....nah...don't like the food...Hey Dick...see if the Chinese left for the moon yet? ...maybe hitch a ride...mmm yeah......he he he he
We've secured our place in history. Future generations will be indebted to us forever!.
Hey Dick! Macy's is having an "End of Term Bailout Bonanza" Sale! I wonder what "everything must go!" means?!
Dick, I need something special that History will remember me by. Why don't I return Guantanamo to the Cubans!
Dick, I need something special that History will remember me by. Why don't I return Guantanamo to the Cubans!
HEY DICK--WE'RE ALMOST AT THE FINISH LINE!-DID WE GET EVERYTHING BEFORE WE RUN OFF TO SAUDI ARABIA?--OOOPS!--DARN I ALMOST FORGOT THE SOCIAL SECURITY LOCK BOX--!--OPEN UP YA HANDS DICK, ISN'T MUCH LEFT!--TO BAD THAT $750 BILLION BILL DIDN'T PASS TODAY,DARN!--I'LL HAVE TO PLEAD AGAIN AND HOPE IT GOES THRU BEFORE WE SNEAK OFF--"WOW",WAY TO GO,HUH DICK!!--BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID HAD NOTHING ON US!!--WE'RE, "NEW CLEAR AH"--DICKIE BOY!!!
how can we tackle gender issues in only 120 days?
Let's go to Florida and see if we can get "selected" oops "elected" again.
When I planned to spread American freedom and prosperity to the Middle East, I didn't think we'd actually be giving it away... any chance we have time to go and take it all back?
Dick, we need to prepare for the New Year festivities...Let's see...Get more lipstick for Palin, schedule a quail hunt for you and Obama, send Tomohawk to Dibababijad, remove G W B keys from keyboards, get "I'm in love with Obama" T-shirts, and...finally, get more lipstick for Palin.
Mars! Now that we're done with planet Earth, we have only 120 days left to destroy Mars?
Hey Dick it's been fun spending everyones tax money so far. What do you say we try to break our own record by spending more money then this country has in the last 100 years combined?
"I've just succeeded in wrecking everything the past three Presidents worked hard to achieve....guess it's time to go to the new Disneyland in Dubai!"
Is there anything left to break, Dick?
Dick,
We only have 120 days left to make McCain president the same way you got me into the White House.
Well Dick, looks like we have a job for about THREE more months.
Well Dick, only five more months to go.
Now that's a plan! Destroy Mars, now that the Earth is done with!
Dick,
Have you contacted Haloberton, they better have my exit strategy ready!
hey where's the pics, too many words. Oh well Dick, let's go huntin, scratch that...Let's go fishin
This is better than that book about the duck but is potato spelled right, somebody ask mom.
uhh...120 days left....where will I hide....I mean go.....Uh..Russia? can't speak the lanuage... North Korea?...ummm...maybe borrow some of Don Kings hair gel and fill in for whats his name...Hey Dick.....call the Chinese...see if they left for the moon yet...maybe hitch a ride. he he he he....
Everybody knew...
...that we couldn't find...
.....Weapons of Mass Destruction...
........I just hope...
.........nobody learns...
............that we still haven't found....
..............Clinton's cigar stash.
Well Dick...
...can't you hypnotize the country...
.....so they will forget what we did...
........these past 8 years.?
Look Dick....
..I got them to chant "Drill, Baby, Drill"
Now can I work for you...
...at Halliburton...!!!
It really is great...
...that my father has such close business ties with China...
......so that they can lend us billions of dollars...
.........from both column "A" AND column "B"
Y'all know...
....you can put lipstick on an elephant...
.......but it is still a pig.
So now that we have wrecked the world....
....how is the Mars mission going...????
Let's see...
....9/11...
......Katrina...
.......Iraq War...
.........soaring gas prices...
..........Valerie Plaine...
............getting rid of attorneys in the Justice Dept.
...............scandals...
................bank failures....
.................biggest economic crash since the depresion...
.....................GOOD WORK DICK...!!!!
Quick, Vader...
....time is running out.
Call Obi Karl Rovey...
....and see what we are to do next..!!
Do you think that we still have time....
....to invade the BLUE STATES....????
I love when you read me the funny papers.
Didn't you promise...
...that we could fool all of the people...
.....all of the time...???
Remember to bury the Cauldron...!!!!
We really were...
...an Elephant...
......in a China shop.
The fundamentals of the economy are sound....?
Hey...I ain't even that dumb...!!!
This Laurel and Hardy routine...
....worked out real well for us Dick.
I wonder if this is how Sadam Hussein felt?
Let's see... what's on the lunch menu for this week? Their Texas brisket is always good. Sure gonna miss that secret sauce when I'm gone. What'll you have Dick?
There's nothing like spending someone else's money. Who else can we put on the money list, need a billion or two while the cookie jar's open?
Gee Uncle Dick,
I'm startin' to think the Bush Doctrine needs a little doctorin'.
You know, I've acomplished so much already, I was kinda hopin' I could take another vacation. bein' President is hard work.
What da, Broomberg's going for three terms! Dick, stop packing. We'll show 'em. Blame buck my bass!
Hmm, nothing left for you to do, Dick. Why don't you invite that nice Obama fella quail hunting?
Hey Dick, I need 2 more names to add to January's list of pardons? I only have 139 and I have to top Clinton's List... Know any more CEO's in trouble we have not already covered.. the job market is real bad out there and we cant rely on Social Security.
' New Investigations: Fannie Mae's Jim Johnson & Franklin Raines'
You know, Dick? Looking back on all we've accomplished over the past 8 years, I think there's only one thing to say......"Heck of a job, Brownie".
OK Dick, I think your plan to get Dodd, Obama, Pelosi,and all the
others in the House and Senate to give back the money they got from Fanny and Freddie. will cover the costs to bail out the economy.
Dang it Dick, I thought I only had 20 days left.
How about this! I’ll pardon them before their accused.
Dick, do you really think we can win the war in the next 120 days???!!
Now that you own part of Iraq's oil production, made billions more over the war, as well as helping your friends with the bailout, and those poor people, they don't know their homes are still going to be foreclosed. You remind me of Machiavelli.
What additional do you want to do over the next 120 days to benefit over the broken economy?
Awwh Dick.. we haven't had an agenda before but if y'all insist lets do somethink "Presidential", that will get world attention! and and make history!!!...ahh...#1......hmmmm! err 1...um...hmmmm! dang,120 you said?
Let them eat cake!!!!
They write that everything is perfect, Dick. People love us....
"I say we don't we don't do a God-derned thing. Leave while you're riding high in the saddle."
Dickey, 'member what you told me about vaudeville: "Leave 'em wanting more"? How 'bout that fer an agenda?
Dick, I think first we need to see how the post-season play goes. After all, the outcome of the series could have a profound ramification on all of these other issues.
1. Give my condolenses to the poor sap who's taking my place
2. Give stimulus checks to every banker...
3. Pull out and dust off "Mission Accomplished" banner.
4. Put Mission Accomplished banner over "Best President Ever" banner.
5....
Ive already got oil, an auto bailout equals cadilacs for life!
Cheney, don't let the door hit us in the ass on the way out.
As the decider, Dick, I'm hoping I can get one decide right before it's all over.