Animal House

Marc Morrone, irrepressible turtleneck-wearing owner of Parrots of the World and erstwhile Martha Stewart television pet-expert (you can still hear him on her Sirius radio channel Friday evenings from 8 to 10), called to say that his Rockville Centre store was burglarized in the wee hours this morning.

Stolen were 20 blue-fronted Amazons, 20 African greys, four cockatoos and one baby toucan.

"They were smart," says Marc of the burglars, who he guesses are headed out of the country -- possibly to Puerto Rico, known for its open-air bird markets. "They bypassed the lilac-crown Amazons and orange-wing Amazons, which aren't very good talkers."

The robbers cut through the glass storefront, disabled the alarm and took off with the already-caged birds, leaving their own cages behind. Since a nearby bar closes at 4 a.m., and Marc arrived at 5:30 a.m., the feather-flapping heist likely occurred in the interim.

"Life goes on," says Marc, relieved that his own personal animals -- like Harry the eyeglass-snatching scarlet macaw and Dante the African grey -- were left behind.

Morrone's now-defunct local television pet show, in which he juggled a tabletop bustling with lop-eared rabbits and chinchillas as he continued a steady stream of Lawn Guylandy patter, attracted the attention of Martha Stewart. She made him a fixture on her "Martha Stewart" show, and he briefly had a Martha-backed show of his own.

Eager to get back on the tube, Marc says he recently hosted a production company interested in doing a reality show about him and his store. But after spending a Sunday amid the fish tanks and bird stands, the TV types begged off.

"They said, 'There's not enough dyfunctionality in your world to entertain people,'" Marc says with a shrug. "People lives are so miserable, they want to see people who are worse off than they are."

This morning, at least, Marc might qualify.