Garden Detective

Here's a book that makes me totally envious. That is, I wish I'd written it. It's so clever and amusing.

Keep warm, enjoy and have a blessed Thanksgiving.

TITLE: "Radical Prunings: A Novel of Officious Advice From the Contessa of Compost"
BY: Bonnie Thomas Abbott
PUBLISHER / PRICE: Emmis Books / $14.95

Purpose: Disguised as installments of a published column, the entries in "Radical Prunings" bring readers on a journey that is at once erudite, comical and poignant. In addition to valuable tidbits of gardening advice, we're also treated to juicy gossip about the columnist's family and staff, and somewhere along the way forget we're reading fiction.

Author's credentials: Bonnie Thomas Abbott was reared on an organic hobby farm in a family that valued all things literate. Her work has appeared in "Mirth of a Nation," "101 Damnations," and "Seattle Weekly."

Excerpt: "Readers, I'm having Miss Vong separate your letters into two piles: one for real gardening questions and one for lawn-care questions. I shall read your lawn-care letters after I retire from my career as an astronaut."

Effectiveness: Make no mistake -- "Radical Prunings" is not a garden resource book. It's a unique novel, told in the voice of fictional gardening expert Mertensia Corydalis in a question-and-answer format. But pearls of horticultural wisdom do surface -- if accidentally -- as the fictitious columnist answers readers' questions in her pretentious Miss Manners-esque style. Her Q&A newsletter often reveals more thorns about her personal life than about the roses on which she is queried, resulting in a humorous -- and often touching -- insight into the columnist's inner sanctum.

Readers get more information about Mertensia's failed marriage, ex-husband, daughter and employees than about their floricultural concerns, as details of her life slowly unravel over the course of two years' worth of columns. And early on, they're warned not to bother her with loathsome questions about topics that are beneath her, especially those regarding lawn care.

Gardening enthusiasts will nod their heads in solidarity as they read Mertensia's witty takes on everything from invasive zebra grass ("if you are not careful… it soon will be thumbing its nose at you from your neighbor's yard") to growing redwood trees ("Plant it and jump back. In four or five hundred years, you will really have something there.")