Entourage: Let's Blog It Out

By Mark La Monica

They're never good. Never easy. Never simple.

Oh sure, we map out in our heads just how we'll play it when the time comes, but breakups are always awful to deal with. They never end well, which of course, is usually why they're ending in the first place.

Doesn't matter how justified in the decision we feel, there's still discomfort and awkwardness. Whether you're ending a relationship or a friendship or even leaving one job for another, it can be painful. Too many memories, and they always pop up later on at the worst times.

Watching Vince debate whether or not to fire Ari Gold, the only agent he's ever had, was unpleasant. Kind of like when you're making a mental list of pros and cons about your significant other and then discussing them with your friends when trying to decide if you should dump them. (Don't even act like you haven't done that at least once in your life.) It's not fun to do, but it has to get done.

True to form, Vince's friends played both sides. Drama favored Ari, not because of his status as a client, and gave a passionate speech for maintaining the status quo. Turtle had the complete opposite point of view. Real life at its finest, which is one of the biggest compliments we can give to the show's writers. (For the record, this was the best written episode of the season, perhaps all three.)

When E stepped in at the end of the season finale and actually said, "You're fired," the verbal groin kick delivered to Ari resonated with every one of us Entouragers. We've all been there at least once, be it the dumper or the dumpee. Neither is enjoyable.

No matter how slimy Ari is, he's a very lovable character. You root for the guy to win, and deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want him to win by doing something shady.

That's why we laughed when Ari pretended to be E and canceled their meeting with another agent. That's also why it hurt so much to watch Ari and Vince break up for the second straight season. Ari lost and we've got at least four more months until we find out what happens to him next. (The remaining eight episodes of "Season Three" won't air until January at the earliest.)

"Entourage" without Ari Gold is like a commuter without E-ZPass. It makes no sense and everyone involved suffers. So, we're comforted by the fact that during this post-breakup phase, there's still a chance for reconciliation. Hug it out and make up!

By Mark La Monica

He introduced the world to "Victory!" and the world has never been the same.

Now, Johnny Drama gives us something unspellable, something illiterate, something with an indeterminable number of syllables. But it is just as outstanding as his "Viking Quest" chant. Drama's personal rallying cry before auditions and actual acting should resonate with all fans of this show.

With this new chant meant to psych himself up before a big moment, Drama has solidified himself as the fourth noun, fifth concept overall, to be considered "inherently funny." (The others, by the way, are chimps, midgets, farting and people falling down. Hey, some of these things may not be nice to laugh at, but they are just plain funny. Next time you see someone you don't know trip over a curb or fall down in the office, I challenge you not to laugh.)

The next time you have a big meeting or a big conference call or big whatever, a Drama scream like we saw in this past episode is in order. It could be the difference between closing the deal and updating your resume.

It's the 2006 answer to Bud Fox in "Wall Street" -- looking in the mirror before his meeting with Gordon Gekko and saying, "Well, life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them."

Although the Bud Fox line is an enjoyable movie reference to work into your daily routine, it won't cause innocent bystanders to look at you weird. And really, what's the point in psyching yourself up if innocent bystanders won't look at you weird?

I have a meeting a 2 p.m. on Monday and at 1:59 p.m., I absolutely will look in a mirror and scream indecipherable syllable(s) to get ready. And when people stare at me, I will say, "Hey, it's a Drama Club thing. Go read my blog."

COMING TUESDAY: The final tally of readers' entries for "The List."
COMING THURSDAY: What will happen to Ari Gold?

By Mark La Monica

I first was introduced to "The List" several years ago in the pool at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. My first reaction was "This is stupid." Clearly, that was the rum talking because this is a great game to play with significant others.

Great . . . until the significant other actually accomplishes the mission and then tells you about it. Now, you may be thinking "Why the hell would I tell the person I'm with about this?" Well, what's the point of making a list of celebrities it's OK to sleep with when you're in a serious relationship if you can't talk about it when it happens?

It's all fun and games until someone loses his or her Celebrity List cherry. Then it's just plain painful. Imagine being the dude who comes home and hears "Honey, I just slept with Vincent Chase right here in the same bed you and I sleep in every night, but it's cool because he was on my list" from the woman he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with. Gee, that's about as precious and heartwarming as slamming your package in the glove compartment.

Watching the scene when the girl tells Vince she's getting married is equal parts id-satisfying fantastic and soul-damaging brutal. "The List" is so far-fetched in reality that when you see or hear someone accomplish it, you have to admire it. But the word "married" and its various grammatical cousins should still be something of nourishment for our moral fabric. If you watch closely, Vince's expression includes a bit of disappointment and shock when hearing the news of the girl's pending nuptials.

That being said, let's have a little fun. We'll assume Turtle and Drama could hold a steady girlfriend in order to activate "The List" and hypothesize for the entire crew. (Top five listed alphabetically).

Vince*
Halle Berry
Jennie Finch
Angelina Jolie
Maria Sharapova
Charlize Theron
* It's about as fair as a baseball hit behind the plate for this guy to have a list, but fun is fun. And I'm all for equal rights.

Drama
Diane Lane
Julia Roberts
Mia Sara
Brooke Shields
Sloan (E's girlfriend)

E
Mischa Barton
Paris Hilton
Susan Lum (think waaaaay back!)
Suchin Pak
Tori (Sloan's friend)

Turtle
Drew Barrymore
Jenna Jameson
Lil Kim
Jessica Simpson
Sloan (E's girlfriend)

Geography plays a key role in the game. In the 2005 U.S. census, 99.2 percent of Americans reported still holding on to unchecked lists. That successful 0.8 percent all live in or around Hollywood.

In the interests of fairness and full disclosure, I shall reveal my top five because I want you all to use the comments on this blog to submit your list. We will compile those results and produce the official "Entourage, the blog List," so feel free to forward this around to your friends. All genders are invited to participate.

Jessica Alba
Lindsay Lohan
Jennifer Lopez
Madonna
Michelle Rodriguez

Your turn!

By Mark La Monica

If you didn't see the shafting of Turtle's record deal with Saigon coming, then maybe you should take a few days off from work and go see Dr. Melfi.

Two reasons it could never work out: 1) Two big-time players in the show would detract from the show; 2) The record industry, especially the rap side of it, is extremely shady.

However, it was quite amusing to see Drama being dangled off the balcony by Saigon's new/old manager. And the fact that this manager knew Drama was in "Viking Quest" was an eloquent touch by the writers.

If you're wondering "Where have I seen that before?" the answer is simple:In 1990, Vanilla Ice claimed that Death Row Records entrepreneur Suge Knight dangled him off a 15th-story balcony of a hotel demanding royalties from "Ice, Ice Baby."

Come to think of it, Drama and Vanilla Ice have a lot in common. Both were one-hit wonders with "Viking Quest" and "Ice, Ice Baby." (Although, some could successfully argue that Ice's song "Stop That Train" was good.) Both are now washed up and desperate for work.

Could this possibly be the stage-setting for an episode in which Drama gets a call to be on "The Surreal Life" or some other reality show for old-school celebs? That would be so beyond hilarious that it's not even funny.

COMING TUESDAY: "The Celebrity List"

By Mark La Monica

"Entourage" plus Las Vegas requires more than just one day of blog material. So, here we go with my famous "Random Thoughts" blog:

* Althought it was nice to see Seth Green virtually reprise his role as a jerk from "Can't Hardly Wait," if I ever come across him in real life, there's going to be a misunderstanding. I can't allow such disrespectful things toward my Sloan to go unchecked.

* I'm wondering if skateboarder Chad Muska had advance knowledge of this past episode. In case you didn't hear, Kevin Connolly (real-life E) clocked Muska in Hyde, a Hollywood hotspot, after Muska, the guest DJ that night, made a disparaging remark about real-life girlfriend Nicky Hilton. Interesting sidenote No. 1: Connolly has some boxing background in his family. Interesting sidenote No. 2: Connolly made his movie debut as Chickie, the bully who beat up little Stallone in "Rocky V." Don't mess with Connolly. The fella can throw hands.

* Gotta love Ari Gold cursing at everyone in sight at the blackjack table. I feel your pain, Ari. I've been there.

* As a former DJ and lifelong appreciator the blending of music and movies/television, I thoroughly enjoyed the use of "Luchini" by Camp Lo when they boys hit the casino floor.

* The $5 bet on red at the roulette table to start the weekend is a nice tradition. I may have to include that in my repertoire, somewhere in between the playing of "I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones immediately upon landing and "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra en route to the airport.

* I hope Knicks coach/president/general manager Isiah Thomas makes more crazy trades soon. I want to see how many ill-advised trades can be reflected in Knicks jerseys worn by Turtle. (Steve Francis made the cut this episode.)

* This was the first time "Entourage" went on location outside of the Southern California area. This gives hope to my homecoming episode idea for Season 4.

By Mark La Monica

Maybe it's just me and my disturbing devotion to the sport of blackjack, but once I saw Vince Chase get dealt that second 8, I sat up on my couch and began screaming "Split em!"

Force of habit, perhaps.

I hoped the next card out would be an 8. "Split once, split twice," I said aloud, as if I were at the table myself with a stack of chips. Boom, there's the third 8.

Full disclosure time: Last week, I was flying home from a vacation where I gambled in two states, geographically speaking, that is. On the flight home, I tried to imagine the actual number of hands of blackjack I've played since my first trip to Las Vegas in 1999. According to my math, it's at least 250,000 hands.

I've been faced with the three 8s scenario before. It's exhilarating. And it always happen once you ramp up your bet. Just ask the Venetian. Back in 2001, I went to four 8s, doubled three of them and won all four hands. Of course, it was only a $25 bet (hey, that's big money for me), but that turned into $175 in the span of about 11 seconds.

Typically, you'll get one, maybe two chances to double. Vince gets one chance and the dealer gave it to him hard. A sweet looking 3 to go along with his 8-3 combo. That's a straight groin kick right there. Trust me, it hurts. That's why, when playing these dream hands, you have to ask the dealer to keep that double card down so you can't watch the actualy foot being delivered to your sensitive area.

When the dude sitting third base (Paul from "Cheers" by the way) split his kings against the dealer's six, I heard myself, Lawyer friend Steve, Carpet King Billy Drama, Party promoter friend Jann, Film friend Sirr and the rest of my Blackjack Maniacs -- all in different parts of the country on this night -- stand up and scream "Are you a freakin' idiot? Do not split those kings or I will beat the crapola out of you and your family." Give or take a word.

As Carpet King Billy Drama preaches, "You only split kings against a six when you're drunk as a skunk and you moon the dealer when you do it."

Truer words may never have been passed down from one generation to another.

It turns out the move helped Vince and Ari because the guy on third base pulled two 10s. The dealer flipped a 5, then drew a 3 and a 10 for a 24 and busted. Vince just won $300,000 on that one hand. God bless the sport of blackjack.

The blackjack table can ruin lives. Strangely enough, though, it breathes life into life at the same time.

By Mark La Monica

Forget all this talk about low pressure fronts meeting with high pressure fronts and the inconvenient truth behind the melting of glaciers.

The real source behind this summer heat wave that suffocated Los Angeles and San Diego last weekend and is in the process of paralyzing the Northeast today is the energy sent into the atmosphere by Johnny Drama's classic meltdown in Episode 8.

One scene after another, something went wrong for Drama. And we laughed each time. Drama is coming dangerously close to being the fourth noun considered from the rarefied status of "Inherently funny."

Those positively charged Dramalecules from the parking ticket meltdown combined with those from the Starbucks meltdown to form a serious heat wave of hilarity this week. And lucky for Drama he was kicking indoors, where the weather couldn't adversely affect the Ed Burns pilot script he sent through the uprights after showing up late for an audition.

Lawyer friend Steve called it perfectly Monday night when he said, "All I gotta say is Johnny Drama is Falling Down."

Of course, I had yet to see the episode when he said that to me, so I did the noblest thing possible: I hung up on him. But he's right. Drama pulled a Michael Douglas in the movie "Falling Down." If you haven't seen that movie yet, stop reading, go to Netflix and move it to the top of your queue now!

Drama doesn't resort to violence and destruction during his mental breakdown the way Douglas did in the movie, but that's why "Entourage" is a cable sitcom and "Falling Down" is a dramatic movie that just so happens to be hilarious, too.

We've all had "one of those days" and "one of those weeks" and "one of those years." The daylong versions are so much more painful. Everything goes wrong twice. Then we hit the breaking point, erupt like mad men and women and eventually the natural order restores itself.

Drama goes crazy trying to get this pilot. He predictably falls all over himself en route to the audition. He shows up late and never meets Burns. Then he gets a phone call from Burns telling him he got the part. Natural order restored.

In Season Two, Drama took a golf club to Point Break's hood. He still landed the role he had just auditioned for and was excited a few episodes later when he found out that little anger meltdown wound up on "Celebrity Justice." Natural order restored.

Just another case of Drama being Drama.

By Mark La Monica

Stranded in the living room, Eric was the Everyman. Caught between what he already has, the sickeningly beautiful and loving girlfriend that is Sloan, and what he desires "just because," the nearly-as-ridiculously attractive other girl that is Tori.

It's the classic struggle many men (and women) have dealt with. Often times, we chase what we don't have only because we don't have it and that "it" is something different. Different doesn't mean better, but the male mind is a very strange place to be, let alone try to live with every day.

Nice guy Eric got caught up in a lust triangle with his girlfriend and her best friend after their little experiment in last week's episode. Always portrayed as the smart, emotional one of the group, E's brain went to mush. That put Vince in the role of advice-giver and situation-resolver, a side we rarely see from him. Usually, it's the other way around. But if there's one person on this show who understands sex and women, it's Vince.

E was all whacked out because emotion is involved. Sloan is his girl. Threesomes with emotion rarely produce happiness for everyone . . . the day after. The human brain is not built to deal with all the questions being asked it by yourself. (Did she like it? Am I selfish for enjoying it? What do I say to her when she asks? Am I with the right girl? etc.)

It's a vicious cycle of emotion, guilt, inner questioning and bewilderment.

We've al dealt with these types of situations in our relatonships. Maybe not standing in our boxers in our girlfriend's apartment trying to figure out if we can sleep with her best friend before she leaves for the airport, but in other ways.

You meet someone one night and she's cool, then you go home to your girlfriend. After she falls asleep, you're sitting on the couch watching television and wondering what the other girl is doing right now.

The strange thing is that the girl you're already with is fantastic and is everything you could ever ask for in a woman. Except for one thing: she's already yours.

Credit Tori for being the smart one here and walking away. This just further supports the theory that threesomes are safest when a financial transation occurs first. Well, maybe not from a health standpoint.

By Mark La Monica

As if we didn't already want to spend the rest of our lives with the real-life Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui)!

She returned to the show for the first time this season (minus her half-second, non-speaking cameo in the season premiere), and she made her presence felt.

Seeing how this is a "family Web site," and I enjoy receiving paychecks for writing this blog, I can't fully delve into the ramifications of Sloan's performance in Episode Six. But I can tip my cap to her mindset and say that I support Turtle's assessment of the situation when the guys returned to the house after hanging out at night in the first part of the show.

The ultimate male fantasy aside, Sloan's return gave E an episode that was predominantly about him while weaving in the rest of the cast. Turtle had his episode last week when Saigon blew up on radio and Drama is likely to have one soon. (It could happen next week, but I won't know until then because I refuse to watch the coming attractions so as to not ruin the surprise for next week.)

It also gave us another reason to drool Sunday night. Apparantly, the heat wave here in New York simply wasn't strong enough to drain us of all our excess fluids. Sloan is just plain ridiculous. As I wrote two days after meeting her (I needed that long to fully regain all my faculties):

There's TV hot, Internet hot and movie hot. Then there's Emmanuelle Chriqui hot.

Add:

Prince, in 1994, asked the question in the first lyric: "Could u be the most beautiful girl in the world?" Clearly, Prince hadn't met Chriqui yet. If he had, he'd know that there's no need to ever ask that question.

These still hold true.

By Mark La Monica

Encased by the snide facial expressions, the self-esteem-destroying comments and the cursing mini-monologues is the softer side of talent agent Ari Gold.

The man talks hard and fast in the office, at the club and on the cell, but at home, his wife rules. Known simply as Mrs. Ari (played by Perrey Reeves), she seems to be the only one that can put a dent in Ari's armored facade.

In the first two seasons of HBO's "Entourage," we saw very few glimpses into the private life of Mr. and Mrs. Ari Gold. We knew he had a few daughters and a very impressive house.

As with all successful television shows, each season brings new story lines. Otherwise, it's the same old, same old and the viewing public will eventually change the channel. Yes, it's true even for a show this good. If there's no character development, there's no show development and no show development means no audience development which means no ratings development which means no marketing development.

Humanizing Ari Gold this season has been a terrific development for the show's growth. He's still that crass, obnoxious jerk at work, but then he comes home and deals with real life. And when he does bring work home with him, the family dynamic is still there. It's not unlike what made "The Sopranos" such appealing television in its first few seasons.

Episode 5 this season (officially, it's Episode 27: Guys and Doll) beautifully illustrated this dichotomy. He didn't want his 14-year-old daughter to date tween actor and next door neighbor Max Ballard. So, he sacrificed his own client (Jimmy Whitaker) and made sure Ballard got a movie role that sent him to Kazakhstan for 24 weeks.

Sure, his daughter wasn't happy about it, but she doesn't know how the deal went down. Ari was just trying to protect his first-born child from a world she doesn't yet understand. Fatherly instinct.

We got a chance to see how fatherhood affects Ari in this episode. When his daughter asked to go on a boat trip with "the math club," he knew she was lying (he has a spy in the house). She asked how he knew it was Max, not the math club.

"A father always knows when his daughter is lying to him," he said. "It's heartbreaking."

From there, you could see he was emotionally affected by the thought of his little girl growing up. How else can we explain his being so nice to Turtle and Drama and agreeing to be their agent. This might have been the most underrated startling moment of the show's three-year history.

Human Ari Gold is pretty cool. Now, let's hug it out, get drunk with Russell Crowe and head-butt some kangaroos.

By Mark La Monica

The race between Turtle and Johnny Drama to see who could get to lunch with Ari Gold first is easily one of the funniest scenes of Season Three.

It began in the kitchen with Drama calling "shotgun" for the meeting, and continued when Turtle disregarded the call and said first one to get there for the sit-down talks first. Drama pulled up to the restaurant first, but Turtle got in the restaurant first by snatching the valet receipt, tripping and doing a ninja roll to get back up. (Impressive agility for the shorter, thicker Turtle, by the way.)

This amusing scene highlighted one of the greatest life games reserved for males: Shotgun.

The rules of Shotgun are simple and complex, which basically mimics males in general and may explain why women have problems understanding men. He who calls "shotgun" first gets to ride up front in the passenger seat while the rest of the crew gets to eat their knees and slowly develop hip dysplasia sitting in the back seat. Not to mention, once you arrive at your destination, everyone outside knows exactly who the second-class citizens are.

"Shotgun" is also one of those things that transcends life. It applies to just about every endeavor. Examples: Racing home when everyone has to use the bathroom, that new girl in the office, a dual purpose meeting with a top Hollywood agent. The list is endless.

More importantly, shotgun is respected, understood and indisputable. When asked why your pal got the date with the new girl in school before you did, saying "Well, he called shotgun" is a perfectly good explanation. No one can argue it.

Rules differ within each group of friends. Some claim you have to be outside for "shotgun" to apply. Others play "the car must be in sight" as the decisive factor. Others just go with the first one to call it gets it. There is no governing body to lay forth the official rules. The only thing that matters is what rules your group has sanctioned.

I've been involved in some crazy games of shotgun. I've seen people with long arms stick their hands out the door in front of someone else and yell "Shotgun!" I've seen friends of mine climb out windows a minute early and yell "Shotgun!" I've seen friends lock their friends inside a house just so they can ride in the passenger seat. All of which is completely acceptable behavior when the stakes are so high.

And we've all been involved with disputed calls. Those are some crazy arguments. I know people who didn't talk to each other for two days after arguing over shotgun. Completely ridiculous, isn't it? Yes. Completely understandable, isn't it? Yes.

Which is what makes the Turtle-Drama shotgun race that much more fun. We've all been there.

Drama called "shotgun" for the meeting with Ari, the meeting that was already arranged for Turtle. Vince's response when Turtle complained was, "Turtle, he called shotgun."

It made perfect sense.

By Mark La Monica

Props go to "Entourage" creator and executive producer Doug Ellin for apparently eliminating the character of Dom from the show in just two episodes.

Although I'm not positive of his complete ouster from the show, he was caught stealing from a producer's house during a party and thus potentially jeopardizing Vince Chase's career. And once Vince figured out it was him (after defending him the first half of the show), he appeared to cast him off from the group.

Turtle solidified the kicked-to-the-curb status of Dom with his line at the end, "A Hummer and an apartment. Not a bad severance package."

Peace out, Dom!

So, thank you, Doug Ellin, for creating a character we were supposed to hate -- and we hated him! -- but having the creative sense to get rid of him quickly.

At least, I hope that's the case.

By Mark La Monica

No, that's not a typo in the headline, but rather a succinct, metaphoric wrapup of the newest character to enter the mix on "Entourage."

I'm all for character development and enhanced plotlines and developing a show beyond its initial premise in order to keep things fresh, but this new guy Dom alters the show's dynamic in a negative way.

I don't see how Dom, played by Domenick Lombardozzi, fits into the show. Of course, I don't know what the remaining shows have in store, but my research indicates Dom will be around for at least a few more episodes. The guess here is that he'll do something dumb to tick off Vince and he'll get tossed from the crew.

The sooner the better, in my opinion. If I wanted to see boarish, over-the-top Italian characters wearing wife-beaters, I'd order up "The Sopranos" on Netflix. Instead, I found myself excited that this was one of those 22-minute episodes, rather than one of the longer episodes that leaves less downtime before Dane Cook's "Tourgasm" starts at 11 p.m.

(To clarify -- for my personal safety -- this is not a bashing of the rather large Lombardozzi, but rather the introduction of the character on the show. Besides, he played "Joey Chips" in the movie "Kiss me, Guido" which is beyond hilarious on many levels.)

We all have that one "friend" in life that we like to hang out but our other friends can't stand. We even have that peripheral friend that no one likes but everyone is afraid to say anything. Heck, some of us are those people in certain circles or certain occasions. And if we don't like them in real life, we shouldn't like them in TV life.

The character of Dom is the "Entourage" version of Farva from "Super Troopers." That obnoxious DB that people loathe at first sight. Even Turtle and Drama, so quick to be excited at Dom's arrival, turn against him in a matter of 12 hours.

After 24 brilliant episodes in a row, we can sit through one bad episode and not worry about the show's direction. But that doesn't mean we have like to new character.

Turtle said it best. "Five is too much. Four is perfect."

By Mark La Monica

The exchange was exquisitely simple and profoundly true.

"Let's get hammered," Vince said to E at some random high school party during episode two.

"With high school kids?" E responded.

"We'll make their night," Vince said.

So true. America is enamored by celebrity life and, as marketing and advertising people will gladly tell anyone who will listen, teenagers set the tone for what's cool and hip.

I'm wondering if life can imitate art.

With the high school graduation season about to kick in, I'm strongly leaning toward rounding up my crew -- Joey Jitsu, Dirty Cash and Yogi (hey, we need an old man in the group) -- rolling into some backyard parties and pulling a VIncent Chase pulling an "Almost Famous" in the second episode of "Entourage."

There's no doubt my entourage and I would kick it up a notch, but there's one minor problem: we're just an entourage. Lower case e and no quotes around it. None of us are famous, almost famous or even close to being close to almost. We're household names . . . in our households.

It's always a sad moment when reality kicks your dreams of grandeur in the groin. Alas, we're left with free time and some imaginations.

What if i were a high school student? Who would I want to swindle their way into my graduation party so I could score serious bonus cool points and have a great story to tell later in life?

Hmmm, so many things to consider. Do you pick the hot famous chick and dream the impossible dream? Or, do you pick the great music group to drop a backyard impromptu concert so everyone can rage? Or do you recruit a pro wrestler to beat up the kid who used to stuff you into a locker after every gym class? Or, do you go the Reggie and Jay way and find the trail the big movie star guy to help get you in good with the ladies at school?

Rule out the first option since with today's tabloid coverage, Gawker Stalker and camera phones, there's absolutely no way you'd get Lindsay Lohan or Jessica Alba alone "to talk."

The band idea has potential but comes with extremely high backfire potential, kind of like when the hot golf PR girl shot the puck into the net in "Happy Gilmore."

The pro wrestler idea is good, but there some external concerns and they include buzzwords such as "premeditated" and "first-degree."

So we're left with finding the cool guy to help us score with the ladies. You could stalk the actual Vincent Chase, Adrian Grenier, but then you lack originality and that's a major no-no.

The pick here is Colin Farrell. He's a big-dog movie star. He's good looking. He's a bad boy. At the track, they call that a trifecta and it pays big. And he's known as a guy who knows how to party. He could stand on the garage with a Solo cup in his hand and incite the crowd. And all that does is make you look cool because he vouged for you. It's sort of like Johnny Depp being accepted in "Donnie Brasco" because Al Pacino was a respected gangster in the movie.

If you've got Colin Farrell telling that unattainable high school girl that you're a cool guy to hang out with, lock and load, kid. You may not have been voted most likely to succeed, but every girl will want to sign your yearbook. Or your pecs.

Use the comments link below to tell us who you'd want for your "Almost Famous" moment.

By Mark La Monica

Just about every entertainment and/or trendy hipster magazine the past two weeks has had the boys from "Entourage" on the cover. Newsday and The Daily News put the cast on their front covers this Sunday, typically the biggest circulated papers of the week.

Stories about the HBO show, which began its third season a few hours ago, were everywhere this week as the slow-building buzz from the past two seasons has grown into the boulder chasing down Indiana Jones at the beginning of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

All the hype creates an opportunity for disappointment. Sort of like the Super Bowl. Roughly 411 hours of pre-game coverage rarely produces an exciting game for fans who don't root for either of the teams playing.

The first episode was no Super Bowl. It had just the right amount of its core ingredients as creator Doug Ellin brings viewers into a third season. It was exactly as good as it is supposed to be.

Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon) is still Johnny Drama, always coming up with some ridiculous theory about something and providing the show's more amusing moments.

We get to see the beginnings of a new side of Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven), from his new office at his new agency to more personal scenes at home with Mrs. Ari. Although, I get the feeling there's going to be more tension between Ari and E in the coming episodes and that Ari might come close to getting fired by Vince again.

The show's first episode took a softer approach, what with the introduction of the crew's moms. But what wasn't lacking was the show's brilliant writing. Shows as terrific as "Entourage" get by on their scripts. Eventually, the hot chicks and the sex and the hot cars and the sex with the hot chicks in the hot cars gets old. Don't believe me? Ask yourself this question: Is Maxim still a worthwhile magazine to read? Not so much.

If Ellin and the rest of the show's writers stay true to the nature of the show's concept, we'll have plenty more enjoyable Sunday nights.