Entourage: Let's Blog It Out

By Mark La Monica

When the boss stands over your desk at 5 p.m. holding a bound document of roughly 300 pages, life pretty much chugs.

Lucky for me, yesterday was an opposite day when Boss friend Lil Jon hovered over my desk with a three-quarter inch stack of paper.

Turns out he was offering up the April issue of GQ Magazine with my "Shiny Nickel Superstar" Lindsay Lohan on the cover.

What's a Shiny Nickel Superstar? Well, it's that person that always distracts you no matter what you're doing. I could be in the middle of a story on deadline and if someone sticks a picture of Lohan in front me, you'll be looking at a house ad instead of a story the next day.

Boss friend Lil Jon knows how to boost employee moral!

Wait, there's more.

Then he suggested I turn to page 136. He was even kind enough to stick a few of those subscriber cards in there as a bookmark.

So, I flipped to page 136 and saw this headline: "These Girls Did More Than Hug It Out."

It's a scorecard of all the hotties that have appeared on "Entourage" and what they did with each character. Props to GQ's Kyla Jones and Leah Zibulsky for putting it together.

The intimacy key, which can't be repeated here, is quite amusing, as are some of descriptions of the ladies, such as "Juice Box Janeen" and Yet Another Blond Pool Girl." It's worth a trip to your local newstand to pick up the April issue as you prepare for the start of Season 3.5 on April 8. In case you're wondering, the cover looks like this:

Click pic to read the issue

By Mark La Monica

I scored the offer of a lifetime from my connects at The TV Zone: an invite to borrow an advance copy of the first five episodes of Season 3.5 of "Entourage."

It was a tough decision. It was a brain-wracker. A gut-turner. A craving tormenter.

How does one decide? On the one hand, it's brand new "Entourage" available simply by walking downstairs and picking up the DVD. I could be the first kid on the block to see it and then tell everyone if the new season is good or bad.

On the other hand, watching the first five in one sitting (because you know how easy that is to do) would basically ruin the every Sunday in April and the first one in May. It could also effect the spontaneity of reacting and writing off the show each week, the No. 2 reason this blog has been so successful. (The No. 1 reason is the 60,000 or so folks who read this blog last August and the tens of thousands who continued to read in the offseason.)

But, still, it's brand new Entourage!

I had to seek outside counsel from several circles of my world. Some had solid advice. Some just wanted to know if I could burn them a copy.

Leaning toward turning down the offer, I was convinced it was the smart move after reading a quote from Mark Wahlberg in an HBO interview.

"The next eight are phenomenal," he said. "I don't even want to read stuff anymore, I just want to turn on the TV on Sunday night and watch it like everybody else."

When one of the executive producers is so fired up about his own show that he won't let the surprise of each new episode be ruined by script readings, you know you're onto something big. (Or, the EP is mad lazy. Not the case this time.)

So, I turned it down, content to be among the people when it comes blogging it out about "Entourage."

P.S. I did reserve the right to borrow the DVD in-season in case I'm away one weekend and can't feed my addiction on the road one Sunday at 10 p.m.

By Mark La Monica

We began this blog midway through Season 2, but thanks to wonderful advances in technology, the first episodes aren't lost. DVDs are a good thing, dear readers.

So, for historical purposes, I went back and watched Season 1 to determine the Best Printable Line from each episode. The winner, listed at the end, receives our Big Knish Award for Season 1.

For those who are new to this blog or who just need a refresher course, we're a family Web site. So, the truly funniest lines each week often involve cursing, and we can't reprint those. Hence, "Best Printable Line."

Episode 1: Entourage

Johnny Drama and E are discussing Vince's career when Drama unloads with this gem:

"The guy does two years of Queens Community, suddenly he runs this town."

Episode 2: The Review

The guys are cruising in their newly purchased Rolls Royce. They come to a stoplight when a girl in the passenger seat of a Jeep leans over and looks at Drama.

"Hey, you look familiar?" she said. "How do I know you?

Turtle interjects.

"You watch Cinemax at 5 a.m.?"

Episode 3: Talk Show

The guys are shopping for new suits as Vince is picking out new clothes to do the Jimmy Kimmel show. His publicist, Shauna, rips into Turtle and Drama laughs. Never hesitant to hammer on Drama, Shauna says:

"What are you laughing at? Maybe I'll get u on Montel with Don Swayze, Joey Travolta and the other retarded star siblings."

Episode 4: Date Night

This one is pure Drama. Gearing up for a quadruple date on the opening night for "Head On," Drama is seen on the phone talking to his girl when he says:

"Baby, I know you like my hair natural but I'm gonna put a little product in it, OK."

Episode 5: The Script and the Sherpa

The guys are in the gym with Vince's vegan lady friend, Fiona. It's a going-away shot of something herbal/organic to celebrate Fiona before she leaves for another country. About the stuff the boys are about to drink, Drama says:

"I don't trust it. I lived on this stuff in '93. By the end of the year, I was sleeping standing up."

Episode 6: Busey and the Beach

Drama has a mini-meltdown after meeting with his new potential agent Adam Davies, hand-picked by Ari Gold to revive Drama's career. After he goes off on Ari and Adam in the elevator, he tells Vince to fire Ari. Turtle has other ideas and says:

"Whoa, Fredo is angry."

Episode 7: The Scene

Ari Gold and Mrs. Ari are away for a romantic weekend when his phone rings. She gets mad and storms out of the room. Ari, who took a Viagra pill beforehand, yells out:

"I'm ready to go here. It's like R. Kelly at recess."

Episode 8: New York

The gang is ripping on E, who's having a bit of a crisis. Turtle gives E a little lip and E tells him to be quiet, although not in those words, when Vince steps in and drops this one:

"You had 10 waiters underneath you, but you can't handle one little Turtle?"

And the Big Knish Award for the most "Best Printable Lines" in Season 1 goes to . . .

Johnny Drama

Final Standings
Drama 3
Turtle 2
Ari Gold 1
Vince 1
Shauna 1

By Mark La Monica

One month to go til new Entourage episodes enter our world!

In order to kick off our monthlong celebration/hype-up for Season 3.5, we decided to begin by testing your brains with a trivia quiz from the first three seasons. Take the 20-question quiz and see if you're an A-lister or the next episode of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."