By Mark La Monica
As I watched another three bets go the way of the loss in the third race at Del Mar Thoroughbred Club last Saturday, I got mad.
Time to flip open the rest of my race program to see what else this day of financial ruin has in store for me. I began from the back and found a horse named Make Mine Vodka in the 10th race. Well, it was time to apply my new theory of "I drink it, I bet it." I would find out later in the day that this was a smart theory.
A minute or so later, I flipped back another page and found the card for the ninth race. Hmmm, this No. 6 horse looks interesting. His name? Entourage!
Boom! Let's bet it out!
"Oh, hell yeah!" I announced to a small group of my friends and a much larger group of non-friends. "We're playing the No. 6 horse in the ninth race. I'm betting Entourage and betting it hard."
Time for the newfound "I watch it, I bet it" theory.
They claim life on the West Coast is much more laid back than here on the East Coast. For the most part, this is true. But an East Coaster vacationing in Southern California on occasion needs immediate answers to important questions.
I pulled out my Razr and called the boss. Sure, it was a Saturday and I was on vacation, but this is the Age of Information, and dagnabbit, I needed some information.
Boss friend Lil Jon knows my track record of ridiculousness, so he was wise not to pick up the phone. I left a message, which went something like this: "Jon, I'm at the track in Del Mar and a horse named Entourage is running in the ninth race. How big a bet will Newsday reimburse me for so I can effectively blog about this day?"
He texted me back something to the effect of "You're a complete lunatic . . . but if you win, we split it." Sadly, no reimbursement form was attached.
That wouldn't stop me from playing big. Well, big for me, that is.
An immediate decision was made: the races in between would help build a bankroll to play Entourage in the ninth.
The eighth race paid nicely. Becrux, the Italian-bred horse (is there a better reason to bet it?), won and my crazy blind exacta yielded a lovely $66 payout.
Uh oh, only 24 minutes to post for the ninth race. I approached the window. (Turn on 1989 Richard Dreyfuss voice.) "Let it ride!" (Turn off 1989 Richard Dreyfuss voice.)
I took Entourage across the board, then decided to hedge it a bit and play some exactas. Life is about having options, like Vince with movie roles after the "Aquaman" release. Of course, all those exactas had one rule, not unlike E for his threesome with Sloan and her friend. They all had to include Entourage.
Regardless of the rules, E still won. I didn't.
Entourage came in seventh out of 11 horses. Was never really close either.
Ouch. And I was all set to buy mini Aston Martins for my friends who were with me if I won those bets.
At least the show hasn't been canceled yet and this blog is progressing nicely, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
Make Mine Vodka and make it a double!
Comments (1)
Seriously, I can't believe they pay you to write this column.