The TV Zone

Well, it does appear that "The Celebrity Apprentice" - which remarkably featured hardly a single celebrity during its first season - will actually get a genuine celebrity next time. Tony Danza has signed up to do the new edition, though I imagine a call to his reps will result in one of those "Mr. Danza does not comment on his reality show appearances," or, "Mr. Danza and Mr. Trump are close personal friends, but he does not discuss his business arrangements," or, "Discussions are continuing but Mr. Danza would prefer to decline further comment."

So, I just won't make the call.

But it's true: Tony is booked. What else has he been doing lately? (I'm not a hundred percent certain, but I believe he was in a Vegas version of "The Producers," and was Bialystock in the Broadway one for a while; plus, I think he just published a new cookbook.)

Personally, I'm excited about Brooklyn Tony - who (did you know?) grew up in Malverne? Trumpster should also sign up Judith Light and Alyssa Milano, just to make this interesting. Plus, I imagine he's still a pretty good boxer. Should make the boardroom sessions more lively.

Anyway, expect other big (or biggish) names next season - bowing in Jan. of 09. "Celebrity" actually was a modest hit, reversing years of decline.

Uh - someone who's as famous as me won "Celebrity Apprentice" last night.

Which is another way of saying - someone you never heard of won "Celebrity Apprentice" last night.

I'd like to tell you who it was, but - being that he's so non-famous - I can't quite recall who it is.

Good God, why didn't Trumpster ask Britney to be in "Celebrity Apprentice?" If she'd won, then I'd remember the name - AND be able to run a bunch of pictures, of the kind of before/after variety (like maybe Britney with make-up, or Brit without.)

If someone from Long Island won, I'd have worked all night to write the story for today's "wood" (the front page.) But I don't think this Celebrity Apprentice has ever even been to Long Island; not sure he's even HEARD of it. (Note to self: Ask him in conference call later.)

OK, his name is Piers Morgan. He's a great guy, and raised over $500,000 for his chosen charity, Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.

Anyway, I like Piers - or I should say, I'm jealous of Piers; he's a former journalist who's made quite a career for himself hosting reality game shows for his buddy Simon Cowell (note to self: Ask Piers during conference call how to get in touch with Simon, to find out how Newsday TV writer might get lucrative job as host of "America's Got Talent.")

Piers, a Brit, has been in a lot of shows, mostly on the other side of the Pond. My favorite titles: "You Can't Fire Me, I'm Famous," "Comic Relief: The Apprentice," "The Dame Edna Treatment," "Death of Celebrity" and "The Importance of Being Famous."

Alas, these last two lasted only one episode.

But I'd pay bucks for a look at "The Dame Edna Treatment."

So here's to you, Piers. You deserved to win last night. I only wish you were a celebrity. (Note to self: Ask Trumpster during conference call to please beg Britney Spears to join next season's edition of "Celebrity Apprentice." )

(Above: no, Britney Spears did not win "Celebrity Apprentice," but as you can see, she takes better pictures than the guy, left, who did.)

NBC - which long long ago, was actually a pretty good network - has renewed "The Celebrity Apprentice."

Okay, I'll just give you a couple minutes to let this news sink in...

Sunk in? Good.

Yes, re-newed and it certainly now appears that the only challenge before Trumpster is in trying to exhume a new celebrity cast more obscure than the current. The press release that NBC just sent out is stuffed with a lot of self-congratulatory quotes from various figures in the charity trade (winnings, as you know, go to the celeb's favorite cause). I'll spare you all those except - suffice to say - NBC is treating this renewal like it's a cure for AIDS in Africa.

In a statement, NBC reality biggie, Craig Plestis,had this to say about the renewal: "This revved up installment of 'The Apprentice' has been a game changer for the series. As the rest of this season unfolds, you just keep watching, these episodes have been more thrilling than any season before. There were times when I was screaming at the TV set, literally."

There's more: This season's finale will air (live!) on March 27 from NYC.

Do not be fooled - "Celeb App" is not a huge ratings success, averaging around 9 million, or about the same as "Nightly News." But in NBC's current condition - fourth place, "American Gladiators" as the season's only stand-out, "Lipstick Jungle" just around the corner - nine million looks FABULOUS.

From the We Watch So You Don't Have To Dept.: Normally, this kind of stuff doesn't even merit a mention, but in the context of NBC's strike schedule, it's actually kind of important. As fans of "The Celebrity Apprentice" well know, Gene Simmons - the Tongued One - was dumped by Trumpster on last night's show. He screwed up his Kodak "moment" - some promotional/marketing task - and then went on to say what morons the Kodak people were. Donald - never one to diss one of the show's paying clients - took umbrage, and so off with head. (There was much more, but you've got a life, and likely don't want to hear any more.)

Why is this "kind of important?" Because Gene Simmons is pretty much THE ONLY CELEBRITY ANYONE HAS EVER HEARD OF ON CELEBRITY APPRENTICE!

That's why.

Yeah, that's an exaggeration - of COURSE you know who Marilu Henner is and Lennox Lewis, too, maybe even Stephen Baldwin, though unless you're from Massapequa, probably not. But pretty much everyone's heard of Gene Simmons. Plus, he was kind of fun to watch on this show, in an odd, cheesy, bizarre, unsettling, gross, weird, completely disturbing kind of way.

Now he's gone. Who's gonna hit on Ivanka now?

This is one of those blog entries best posted before lunch - because of the very real risk that you might lose it after reading.

So (don't blame me, I'm just the messenger)...here goes:

Donald Trump confirmed this morning that Gene Simmons is indeed attempting to (uummm) establish a romantic (errrr) union with daughter, Ivanka. (Ewwwww.)

Of course, Trumpster - forever on a "Celebrity Apprentice" flackery tour - didn't use those exact words on "Live with Regis and Kelly" this morning. "Gene hit pretty hard on Ivanka" in last week's premiere, he said. (Simmons is a contestant, and yeah, he was characteristically lewd, lascivious and libidinous around the Trump off-spring.) Ever the protective father, he continued: "I don't want him anywhere near my daughter, with that tongue and stuff."

("Stuff"?)

Now the good news - this probably won't go anywhere because they have a major boardroom brawl in tonight's edition whereby Ivanka gives the ex-KISSer a tongue-lashing or maybe the other way around.

Is Donald Trump's proposed syndicated talk show already on the rocks? I'm hearing...

The backstory: Not long ago the Hollywood Reporter said Trumpster was thinking of hosting yet another show, this time a syndicated talk one of the self-help variety. (No, silly - Donald was not going to go all Oprah on us and tell people, ya know, what sort of conditioner they should use.) This show was gonna be about Trumpster telling people how to solve their financial problems - all within the confines of that rather grandiloquent office TD has that overlooks Central Park and evokes no money problems whatsoever.

Anyway, Trumpster told me last week that it's not looking good. Reason: Time. "They want me to do a daily show during the day and basically it would be called 'Trump Money,'" our man told us. "My problem is time. I think it would be successful [but] it would take one day a week and I haven't got enough time."

Another issue: One of the key backers of the project, Roger King, died recently.

Looks like we'll have to solve our money problems on our own - and continue going to Oprah for that conditioner advice.

(By the way, as if you didn't know already and of course you did, "The Celebrity Apprentice" bows tonight. Big question #1: Will Gene Simmons lick the competition?)

A tiny bit more Trump news: He's the Friday guest on "Late Show with David Letterman." And speaking of Dave, I'm also hearing...that Mike Huckabee will be his guest next Monday. Big question #2: Will the Huck jam with Paul?

(Photo: Reuters/Molly Riley)