The TV Zone

I've sat here all night and day puzzling over "Cabin Fever" from last night. My eyes have dropped out of their sockets. My brain cells - several hundred million worth - have expired. There's nothing left to do but take a sledge hammer to the computer and put it out of its misery.

There was so much - SO VERY MUCH - that to even encapsulate, categorize and otherwise de-mystify any of it would be a tremendous waste of my time and your's. It was the richest mythology episode of the season, and I'll leave it at that.

But let's re-visit one tiny little detail that requires some clarification. During the pivotal scene with Richard Alpert (he's back!) and the young John Locke, a series of articles are laid out on the table, and JL is asked to choose those which he already owns. He bypasses the mitt, picks up the vial of granular substance, gets the compass, pauses briefly over the book, then gets the knife. Miffed, RA storms out.

Here's the question: What was the book?

It was called "Book of Laws." Not "THE Book of Laws." And definitely NOT "Book of Law;" that would take fans down a very precarious and unpleasant path, for that particular book was written by a 19th century mystic who made William S. Burroughs seem like a normal dude. You will - and no doubt - already have Googled the title, "The Book of Laws," but it's a dead end. (Yeah, the title referred to a law tome from the Plymouth colony in the early 17th century...) Could it actually refer to that? Seems doubtful. Very doubtful.

Could Darlton have thrown a Red Herring in our midst, sending "Losties" down a path that leads nowhere?

Naaaah. They'd never do that. (Would they?)

Interesting interview with "Lost" co-boss, Damon Lindelof, who tells the Hollywood Reporter that when the show ends for good in a couple of seasons, he and his other half, Carlton Cuse - both known to fans as "Darlton" - will "go into hiding for many, many months" at an "undisclosed location."

Here's the outtake from this morning's story:

"David Chase set a great example when he went off to Paris after 'The Sopranos' ending, which is great because all these people are going to be asking, 'What does it mean? What is it?' " he said. "The fact that there's no one really around to answer that question, it forces people to come up with what they think it means. We can guarantee our show will not end with a cut to black, it will be more clear than that. But whenever anything you love ends ... there's a certain disappointment."

What means this? Just another little "Lost" mystery. Separately, Darlton confirmed that they'll get two extra hours padded onto the last two seasons, for a total of 34, to wrap up their grand mystery. (And speaking of DC, he just signed a one-picture deal with Paramount; no word on what the movie will be, but it will be a "drama,." the studio confirmed.)

Another fine, fine "Lost" last night, and we're left with these themes (class): Fathers and sons (and daughters); death and transfiguration (or resurrection); and that "Lost'" age-old fave, "Life is but a Dream." Hurls as the mad man, who speaks truth to the deluded? That's another nice twist that I never saw coming.

I'd like to get into greater detail but time -- not much right now -- and the fact that I STILL haven't caught up with last week's episode (and will this weekend) leaves me behind the eight ball here, but I think we can all agree on the possibility that last night offered momentous developments and a momentous consideration: That the Oceanic Six may all be dead, after all, and that these flash forwards exist in some half-lit world out of time and space. I'm babbling -- I tend to do that -- but Hurls' declaration that "we're all dead -- we never got off that Island" has to rank as one of the most gorgeous shockers of the season to date. Which means that Jack and Kate's post-Island love nest is but a ... yes ...dream, or nightmare, too.

The fathers: That Jack's would return is neither surprising nor unexpected, but that CLAIRE'S? Never saw it coming, and certainly have no idea what it means -- and why it would mean that she'd leave Aaron, thus setting up the other possibility that Claire, at least in this world, will never be seen again. (In which "world?" Is the world of the Island the only real one, while the flash-forward world is the land of the walking dead? Meaning: That those who remained behind were alive, perhaps, while those who left were not? And that possibly Aaron is dead, too? Puzzles upon puzzles ... )

[Meanwhile, 'my bad: an insightful reader reminds me of something that I ENTIRELY FORGOT - and rather than explain, here's the full comment from Tody OB: "Maybe I'm not reading your comment above correctly, but you do know that Claire's father is Jack's father Christian? It was established a while ago in a Claire-centric episode and hinted at in an Ana Lucia episode.....

Doc Jensen at EW.com has posted a very intriguing theory that Claire is a ghost herself already; that she never survived the explosion of her house. And that's why Miles took such an interest in her. Check it out; he splains it way better than I do."]

I must run now, before I say anything else that I may regret [see above], but here's another thought: Does anyone believe that the bodies beneath the dirt, the ones that Miles uncovered (while hearing voices), were actually Karl and Rousseau. I can't imagine they were, but...

(Above: Finally, together, forever and ever ... ?)

Stop me if you've heard this story before but...last summer I was in this restaurant in Hollywood with one of my best friends on the planet (Mike Hruska) when who should casually stroll in but Harold Perrineau.

This entrance, after...a day at the Press Tour in Beverly Hills (how we suffered) where critics angrily confronted the boss of ABC Entertainment, Steve McPherson, when he refused (declined, perhaps is the better word) to tell them the huge secret about the new season of "Lost," because Darlton (Carlton Cuse/Damon Lindelof) planned to break the news to the nerds...errrr...the highly intelligent people down in Comic-Con, then being held at that very moment in San Diego.

Well, you just won't believe what happened: The critics started a full scale riot! They broke up the furniture. Started throwing their computers (laptops, to be exact.) Epithets were strewn about. A terrified McPherson reached for his cellphone and called Darlton; we overheard him: "Can I tell these nerds...errrr, highly intelligent people...the secret?" he said over the din.

He raised his hand. Suddenly, there was silence.

"Michael," he said, "is coming back to 'Lost.'"

This is a true story, sort of, with a few embellishments.

Anyway, Harold was so amused after I told him about that morning's Press Tour riot that he proceeded to tell me what was going to happen when he reappeared this season as "Kevin Johnson," and who the "Oceanic 6" were, and...

Well, I can't tell you any more or he would kill me.

In any event, the most anticipated "Lost" of the season: In thirty minutes.

While my esteemed colleague Verne Gay was taking down names on “Lost” last night, I was taking down numbers.

Sun’s visit to Jin’s (flash-forward) grave revealed a death date on his tombstone, which you could still-frame to read as 9-22-2004 -- the date “Lost” premiered and the date given for the Oceanic 815 crash. So it seems likely Jin didn’t “survive” after all. (Besides, as The Captain on Daddy Widmore’s boat said, all the passengers are “dead,” right? Unless Benjamin Linus had easy access to 300+ substitute corpses. Although knowing Ben . . . )

Another interesting note: While Sun [Yunjin Kim in ABC photo, left] was flashing forward to the delivery of daughter Ji Yeon, husband Jin was busy flashing back to the early days of their marriage. The producers were sneaky -- sure did seem he was buying that giant panda for her while racing to the birth hospital -- but it was actually pretty obvious from the start. Did you get a gander of that GIGANTIC cell phone Jin was carrying? Sooo archaic. Must have been four years old! (Was that the series’ first simultaneously interwoven flash forward/back?)

And whassup with Hurley? The big guy seems to be making the rounds of the farflung Oceanic 6 survivors, serving as the connecting link between them all. Or -- wait a minute -- is that really the real Hurley? Hurley/Hugo? Double-life dude? Doppleganger? Ben Linus turned shapeshifter? And what about Naomi? (Just threw that in for vintage “Electric Company” viewers.)

Sneak a peek at next week here. Or rewatch last night’s episode.

Another big night on "Lost" (and aren't all you non-"Losties" out there totally amused by the navel lint-picking we "Losties" continually engage in? Sorry but no apologies forthcoming...):

I do believe we finally have the full tally of our Oceanic Six - those who "survived" the crash of 815, were rescued, and became (in the future) almost as famous as Britney Spears. They are...

Sun (revealed last night)

Jack

Kate

Hurley

Sayid

Aaron (this being Claire's baby.)

Now, we have to wait to see whether this list will be formally confirmed, but Darlton (Damon Lindelof/Carlton Cuse) said in an interview in TV Guide recently that they will do so after the March 13 episode; that was last night, so we await confirmation. Meanwhile, the identity of Aaron as a O 6 is possibly debatable, because Jin could also have been one of the O 6, who just happened to die after he was rescued.

Whatever. The joy of lint-picking.

Now, what's the significance of all this? Honestly, I don't have a clue. But...these six do appear to all be members of those who stayed with Jack (except for Hurley and arguably Kate; oh dear.)

Also, does Ben count? That's an interesting question because he clearly does get off the Island, but clearly not considered an O 6 member.

Oh, yes, how could I forget: Michael Dawson - Harold Perrineau - finally returned last night. We haven't seen him of course since he sailed off into the sunset with Walt.) He was swabbing the deck, so to speak, and quite clearly is Ben's plant on the freighter.

Ah, "Lost" lint-picking. Almost as good as the first cup of coffee in the ayem.

Wherefore art thou...?

Not much time to break down last night's "Lost" - sorry, friends, but I'd only add to the confusion if I had any more time to puzzle this out.

Nevertheless, we point out one (maybe two) intriguing developments: First and foremost, of course, we learn that Charles Widmore is in fact the boss of the Freighter People and that he does want the island for his own evil purposes, possibly even more evil than Ben's purposes. (And Ben, grossly lovelorn in his flashbacks with Juliet, becomes more demonic with each passing week...)

Next, "The Tempest:" That's the name of the other hitherto-unknown DHARMA station in the jungle, that one with toxic gas. And yes, those rascals at "Lost" have gone ahead and layered in another literary reference that only wants to make us scramble to Wikipedia or dig up some well-thumbed, ink-stained, rumpled "Cliff Notes" edition on the play. Is Ben Caliban? Is Juliet Miranda? (And who the hell then is Prospero.) Curse you, "Lost" writers. CURSE YOU!

And OK, here's another thing: The man/woman on the boat? I'm open for suggestions. Locke has to "sit down?" What or who could be so dramatic and shocking that Locke will be gobsmacked when he hears the name? (I'm still wondering whether Juliet's long-lost sister, Rachel Carlson, is on board...Naomi's bracelet with the initials, "RC," remember? Could she be tied to Ben in some way? But Locke wouldn't even know who she is, so...)

Curse you, "Lost" writers. CURSE YOU!

Bottom Line on "The Other Woman:" Yet another brilliant outing by TV's best drama. "Lost" keeps getting better and better and better and...

Ya know, I don't often confess to this sort of thing - being the sort of fellow who watches TV with a jaundiced eye, and fully expecting the worst and often getting the worst. But last night's 44 minutes of "Lost" were among the most satisfying forty-four minutes in front of the tube in my life.

It wasn't merely a brilliant episode, which pushed the Mythology forward more rapidly and richly than any episode in my memory, but it was an emotional release. This, I say, by way of explaining that I actually cried when Penny and Desmond finally - finally, oh God, FINALLY - connected. Yes, what a silly ass I am - shedding a couple of hot tears over a reunion we've been waiting a year for, when the world is going to hell, and the economy along with it, and Newsday whacking 120 jobs...Yet here I am, blubbering over Penny and Desmond.

"I love you," said Desmond.

"I love you too," said Penny.

"Me, too, me TOO," said a silly ass who pretends to be a TV critic.

Oh what a fool am I, but who cares? This is why we watch TV - to escape the follies of our daily existence, and no TV show I can think of has more successfully achieved that standard - OK, maybe "The Sopranos," maybe "The Wire," maybe... - than this one.

There wasn't one, single, solitary false note, or at least nothing that let us momentarily try to reconcile Desmond's past history on "Lost" with his time-travel toggling last night. It was an episode in and of itself, pulling in just enough back story to enrich that spectacular climax. (And that wonderful off-key endnote, when Faraday stares at the piece of paper and learns that HIS "constant" will be Desmond.)

As always, "Lost" was a joyous hall of mirrors that forces the viewer to navigate - mentally - off-screen to understand, or attempt to understand, the maze (rat's maze! another wonderful touch) of references and links.

Minkowski? Our dearly departed communications man? Named for the German mathematician who - to quote "Lostpedia," which as usual is the indispensable source for such matters - created the "hyper-dimensional manifold in which Einstein's equations for special relativity are perfectly solvable."

Hyper...huh, whaaa??? That strange outgrowth of quantum mechanics which establishes, sort of, that we exist simultaneously, in different realms of "realities," hence hyper-reality.

Now you're crying too. I'm sorry. But I hope you see my point: That there's nothing like "Lost" on TV, never has been, never will be, and four seasons in, that I still care so deeply means a.) That I need to get a life; or b.) These guys are doing something right.

Well, every week can’t be last week. After that thrilling Sayid episode, “Lost” calmed itself down last night. No assassinations, forbidden love affairs, shocking betrayals or revelations, really. Even that last-second “reveal” of perhaps another one of the Oceanic Six turned out to be a bit of a dud. Of course, nobody said it had to be a character with tons of dialogue. Or any. (Heh-heh.)

The episode was Kate-centric, which reminds me why the first half of last season was soooo annoying. When love-tangled Kate is supposed to be a catalyst, the show starts shutting down emotionally. (Ironic, no?) That whole Jack-or-Sawyer dilemma was a distraction that drove me batty, and setting it in driving rainstorms in zoo cages didn’t exactly perk things up. Last night’s flash forward to Kate’s post-rescue travails was also numbing stuff. So she’s on trial for killing dear old dad. Is this news? Could it be more blandly delivered? How expressionless can actress Evangeline Lilly get? Ditto Matthew Fox? How anybody can care if these two uptight characters get together or not is beyond me. Put them under fluorescent light, and they’re even more dreary.

And all this futureworld mopery is taking time away from the meaty happenings back on the present-day island. “I’m exactly where I wanna be,” said Miles, the psychic helicopter dude held prisoner by Locke’s tribe, who wanted to speak to former island biggie Ben, another captive. Ken Leung and Michael Emerson may be the two current most interesting actors in this mix, so things could have heated up. But theirs was a fleeting meeting. It was Locke who came between them, though, and Terry O’Quinn is another fascinating soul, proclaiming last night “I’m responsible for the well-being of this island.” Never mind the castaways on it.

There were more hints about the fracturing of the time/space continuum, or alternate realities, or whatever mumbojumbo you wanna call it, with Miles saying to Kate, “Who knows, maybe you didn’t survive the crash.” And the helicopter carrying Sayid and Desmond hasn’t arrived at the supposed rescue boat, even though it left “last night.”

Others can parse the meaning of the $3.2 million dollars Miles tried to blackmail from Ben, and other persnickety clues. My interest will never be that detailed. But the power of the island does intrigue me, along with its ability to shape the societies that exist upon it. Only eight passengers “survived” the crash, we’re told. Does that mean some stayed and some returned to civilization? Did Kate “survive” or not? What the heck IS Ben’s deal? Whassup with Miles and the rest of his study group? And how come future Jack wants to go back?

It can’t be only to screen Hurley’s VHS copy of “Xanadu.”

[Above: Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson in ABC photo from March 6 episode of "Lost."]

“Lost” will have lots of company by April as new episodes return to ABC’s lineup for such faves as “Desperate Housewives” and “Ugly Betty.” In the midst of the post-strike shuffle, “Lost” will move back to 10 p.m. Thursday behind a returning “Grey’s Anatomy” – just in time for May’s Nielsen sweep (April 24 - May 21).

The network has announced the following fresh-episode dates:

“Samantha Who?” - Monday, April 7 at 9:30 p.m. (six new episodes)

“Boston Legal” - Tuesday, April 8 at 10 p.m. (six episodes)

“Desperate Housewives” - Sunday, April 13 at 9 p.m. (five episodes, plus two-hour finale)

“Brothers & Sisters” - Sunday, April 20 at 10 p.m. (four episodes)

“Ugly Betty” - Thursday, April 24 at 8 p.m. (five episodes)

“Grey’s Anatomy” - Thursday, April 24 at 9 p.m. (five episodes)

“Lost” - Thursday, April 24 move to 10 p.m. (five episodes)

Catch up to previous episodes at ABC's streaming media player.

Hitman.

This flashforward world is a hell of a world, is it not?

Up is down. Left, right. North, south. Sayid works for Ben.

Say...whaaa?

Anyway, I'm tired of asking questions (without any answers). So maybe the best way to
get an instant handle on last night's "The Economist" is to do a quick list of the top five
oddities, top being the oddest:

1.) Not merely that Ben is off the island and that Sayid works for him as a HITMAN, but that Ben is a vet. Who knew he loved dogs.

2.) Sayid's rough love scene. This is a tough man to love - witness the departure of Shannon (killed by Anna Lucia) and Nadia, presumably dead too. Now Elsa. Who was her boss who isn't an "economist...?" (Sorry, just can't resist questions...) Meanwhile, we also learned the name of another member of Oceanic 6 (Sayid), which makes - I think - four. So two to go.

3.) The bracelet. Naomi's bracelet, with the inscription, "N, I'll always be
with you. RC." Of course, we all have to ask, who's "RC," so let's just ponder this a moment. In the entire "Lost" hierarchy of characters - Tailies, Losties, Flashbackies, Others, etc. - there's only one "RC." That's Rachel Carlson, Juliet's sister (played by Robin Weigert). (Biblical significance to name, for she was Jacob's wife, who could bear no children.) Oh, there are plenty of Lostian theories about Juliet: That she was actually a guy; or that Jack rescued her in the car, preventing him from doing that header off the bridge.

Or this: That Rachel has teamed up with Desmond squeeze Penny to find her long lost sister. Hmmmm.

Beyond that, why would Naomi have any sort of tie to Rachel? I haven't a bloody clue.

(Of course, some people think the initials read "RG," in which case to all of the above - never mind. But I'm fairly certain it was "RC." Isn't this SAD that I've even gone on this long about it?)

4.) Daniel's payload. "Oh no, this is not good," he says after the little projectile slams into the ground, and the numbers don't sync up on the respective digital clocks. Why "no good." With Daniel Faraday, I think you've got to go to his namesake Michael, who discovered the laws of electromagnetism - basically by showing that a changing magnetic field produces an electric current (and that "magnetism" and electricity are one in the same.) Isn't "Lost" fun? You learn stuff. But what does any of this have to Daniel's "Oh no" line? I haven't a bloody clue.

5.) Finally, Jacob's disappearing house and that line (of sand or gunpowder?) in front. Oh come on. Did anyone really expect the house to be there when Locke pulls up in front? But where did it go? All together now...I haven't a bloody clue.

You know what’s great about “Lost”? OK, one of the many things that’s great about “Lost”? It’s such an international stew of various ethnicities. And on this show, that’s really no big deal.

Last night’s jaw-dropping new ABC episode (SPOILERS AHEAD) had a thrillingly meaty “flash-forward” for Sayid, played by Indian-Brit Naveen Andrews. Our favorite Iraqi ex-“torturer” seems fated, upon his return as the fourth revealed member of the “Oceanic Six,” to become some kind of besieged assassin for baddie (or is he?) Ben.

The episode “The Economist” (“He’s not really an economist”) also continued the storyline for mysterious new “psychic” helicopter arrival Miles, played by Chinese-American Ken Leung. And let’s not forget two other longtime Asian-ethnicity cast members, South Korea-born Daniel Dae Kim and Yunjin Kim.

Four Asian actors prominently featured on one show? That’s gotta be some kind of record.

“Lost” also has several key black performers in not-quite-departed ex-regulars Harold Perrineau (Michael) and Malcolm David Kelley (Walt), plus Marsha Thomason (“Las Vegas”) as this season’s is-she-really-dead mercenary Naomi. You can probably add Lance Reddick (“The Wire”) to the list as the forbidding airline “lawyer” in recent flash-forwards, who looks to be around for awhile.

And how about Jorge Garcia (Hurley/Hugo) and the underused Nestor Carbonell (never-aging “Others” mastermind Richard)?

As for last night’s episode, if you missed it, or just loved it lots, you can read a concisely detailed recap here. And/or you can watch it here.

[Above: Ken Leung, Evangeline Lilly, Naveen Andrews in ABC photo from Feb. 14, 2008 episode of "Lost."]

The Hollywood Reporter's Nellie Andreeva has the Big "Lost" News of the Day: Carlton Cuse confirmed to her yesterday that the show will produce five more episodes which will be (sigh) still three short of the original order.

He told her, "We're going to have to hit the ground running, go from zero to 100 mph in a matter of days to make as many episodes as possible."

Darlton's (Carlton and Damon Lindelof) plan is apparently to squeeze the original eight remaining into five - which, no matter how you slice/dice it, is a stinging disappointment to "Losties." What's being dropped? What loose ends won't get tied? What mysteries will remain stubbornly unsolved? (Eh, they'd probably remain stubbornly unsolved anyway...) These final three (shortened) seasons will be as carefully mapped as any final arcs in TV history - now the map has a bunch of white spaces on it.

Enough whining and moaning. At least five is better than none.

There was some hope - admittedly dim - that ABC would order the final eight when the strike ended (for a total of sixteen this season), but in these now very parlous times, the strike has forced the network to cut costs, and this is just one obvious way.

After watching last night’s “Lost,” I couldn’t get this mystery out of my head.

No, not what the heck is Ben up to, but rather, where I had seen this guy before?

The man in question played Miles, one of the four “rescuers.” When he’s not parachuting onto the island. he apparently works as some kind of ghostbuster. Dude also has a serious chip on his shoulder.

Then it dawned on me: Miles, or Ken Leung, the actor who played him, appeared in a memorable "Sopranos” episode last year. He played one of Uncle Junior’s fellow “rest home” residents, a poker-playing guy with — hey! — a big-time chip on his shoulder.

If you recall, there was some flack kicked up when that episode ran because Leung’s character, Carter Chong, was an Asian-American with a serious rage issue. It aired on April 22, just six days after Seung-Hui Cho massacred 32 people at Virginia Tech, spurring some critics to lambaste HBO for bad taste. Alas, it was nothing more than bad timing.

Anyway, I’m glad I figured out that mystery. Now, I can get back to figuring out what the heck is going on with Ben.

(ABC photo of Ken Leung as Miles.)

Amazing ratings from last night's two major events - the debate and "Lost."

"Lost" got sixteen million - see below - but what about that lovefest...errr, "debate" - between Hill and Obama. Here's the relevant pull-quote from the CNN press release. Take it away, CNN:

"Last night’s CNN Democratic Debate from the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles California is the #1 debate in every demographic among all primary debates in cable news history with 8,324,000 total viewers; 1,257,000 18-34 viewers; 2,963,000 18-49 viewers and 3,257,000 25-54 viewers."

Bottom line: That 8.3 million is, if I'm not mistaken, one of the highest audience levels in CNN's long history. It's truly a remarkable number for CNN.

(Picture courtesy MSNBC)

“Lost” found big ratings for ABC -- big being a relative term in this fragmented era -- and led the network to victory the first night of February sweeps.

Last night’s 9 p.m. season premiere got the series’ best Nielsens in a year, averaging 6.7 in adults 18-49; NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice” and CBS’ “CSI” managed just 2.8 each. Even the “Lost” recap hour at 8 p.m. earned a 4.9, handily beating Fox’ “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” at 3.1.

Thursday’s “Lost” season premiere drew a total of 16 million viewers. (An estimated 8.3 million watched CNN’s Democratic debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.)

More details at the Media Life report here.

Now that we've all experienced the thrill of The Return of "Lost" (parts one and two), I have questions. Many questions. I see that the exemplary website Tvtattle recently posted a "48 'Lost' Questions" - all great ones, by the way - but let's see if we can top that based on just those two hours last night.

And, so here goes (in no logical order whatsoever). Fifty-four questions:
- Why did Locke really kill Naomi - the ravishing Marsha Thomason?
- Is he nuts?
- Is Naomi really dead? (Or course not! Repeat: OF COURSE NOT!)
- Does Miles see ghosts? (Or just talk to them?)
- Where do you buy one of those funky ghost vacuum cleaners anyway?
- (Walmart?)
- What is "The Wire's" Col. Cedric Daniels - Lance Reddick - doing in "Lost" anyway?
- Any chance Bunk Moreland might show up too?
- (And how about Jimmy McNulty?)
- Why did Daniel Faraday squint at the light and talk about the refraction?
- The name "Faraday?"

(Michael Faraday: The great English chemist/physicist who effectively determined the principles of electromagnetism which - ultimately - helped shaped the special theory of relativity, etc.)

- Any significance?
- What do YOU think?
- Why is Karl such a dork?
- Why does Flashforward Jack want to grow a beard?
- Why did he shave it?
- Why does he have such a lousy basketball shot?
- Where is Flashforward Kate?
- Why couldn't SHE visit Hurls in One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest Rest Home?
- Where is the REAL captain of Oceanic 815?
- Who was that rotting dude in the driver's seat of Oceanic 815?
-Where was Desmond during the second hour?
- Didn't Locke have the kidney on the OTHER side removed? (Just wondering...)
- Why was there a polar bear in Tunisia?
- Why is there a polar bear on the ISLAND?
- If Oceanic 815 went down near Sumatra, does that mean the island is somewhere nearby?
- There are over 150 million people in Indonesia - what are the chances none of them would know about an island this strange?
- Hey! I thought 815 was heading from Sydney to LA, so what was it doing in the Indian Ocean?
- Or was that REALLY O 815 down there on the ocean bottom? (Answer: Of COURSE NOT!)
- Are all the tailies dead? (I guess so...)
- Does the Island polar bear wear a collar too?
- About the other Others - why do they need a social anthropologist to find Ben?
- Why do they need to find Ben?
- Who's Ben's plant on the boat?
- Is there a boat?
- Why is Miles such a jerk?
- (But Ken Leung was great - crazy great in "The Sopranos" - wasn't he?)
- What happened to Walt?
- Is Locke gonna introduce everyone to Jacob?
- What does Jacob think about that?
- Does Charlotte - Rebecca Mader - seem kinda strange to you too?
- When does Michael show up?
- How did the helicopter make it to the Island without crashing?
- Why didn't Bearded Guy pilot 815?
- What was he doing in the Bahamas?
- How did Miles know there were O 815 survivors but Charlotte did not?
- Why does Flashforward Charlie want Flashforward Hurls to go back to the Island?
- What's Flashforward Jack so afraid of?
- Who - or what - remained behind?
- Will there be flashback sequences during the flashforward ones?
- Will there be flashforward sequences during the flashforward ones?
- Is there such thing as "real time" in "Lost" anymore?
- Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Revisiting last spring’s two-hour “Lost” season finale (tonight 9-11 on ABC/7) isn’t the only way to catch up to the show’s goings-on before Thursday’s 9 p.m. fourth-season premiere.

If you haven’t already run across the web’s ubiquitous “Lost in 8:15” (also downloadable free at iTunes), it’s worth that much time to watch a recap of the previous three seasons’ main plot points. They’re narrated almost hilariously fast and with dry dollops of wit, but they certainly do the trick.

There’s also Thursday night’s 8 p.m. ABC special “Lost: Past, Present & Future,” promised by the network to “relive their story of survival to prepare for the shocking Season 4 premiere that will change everything.” And of course, those with hours to spare can watch full hour installments via DVD, download or ABC.com’s free streaming episodes, all three seasons’ worth.

Ok, as it turns out, after that last blog posting, ABC did send a follow-up email saying that it would - indeed - have to kill me if I gave up any plot details to this Thursday's two-hour "Lost" premiere.

This then leaves me with two options. 1.) Not give up any details, in the interest of personal safety, or; 2.) Give up some stuff but make it so oblique and obtuse that even ABC would have a hard time in court justifying the elimination of a TV critic (even though most courts are favorably disposed to actions of this sort.)

I'm gonna go with Option No. 2. Why bother (you ask)? Because this is "LOST" - the only scripted show left on TV, with maybe a "House" here, or a "Prison Break" there. What am I supposed to? Sit on my hands and pretend I haven't SEEN THE FIRST HOUR?! (which I have.)

Bottom line: It's good, very good. Anyway, without further ado, herewith some visual clues to the first hour of "Lost," back Thursday. At first glance, they may make no sense. At second glance, they make no sense. But trust me, each has something to do with Thursday's biiig show... (And assuming this doesn't bug you TOO much, I'll post clues to the second hour later.)

1.)That's right - lemons.

2.)Sweet ride. (Or was.)

3.) Thursday's key storyline centers on...

4.) Great movie - but who's crazy and who isn't?

5.) Can you, ummm, follow a lock? hmmm

6.) He's alive! Uhhhh, no, he's not. Or is he? Or...

ABC, bless 'em, appears to have had a change of heart regarding fourth season review copies of of "Lost." At first, the network seemed to indicate there'd be no advanced look at the Jan. 31 opener, and now it's effectively letting the entire world see by sending out streaming copies to TV critic types.

The great unwashed mass of us got our first look via the web on Friday, while DVDs apparently arrive today. Why the "change?" No idea, except that review copies had already started to trickle out to the "enthusiast" part of the review trade; one such aficionado, Docartz, even got a look at the first FOUR episodes weeks ago, and posted raves on websites like Underground. (Unclear whether TV Guide did - as it claimed - because one ABC insider said they only saw SCRIPTS for the first four episodes.)

ABC's late Friday offer to check out the episodes was accompanied by one of those "don't reveal plot details" lines - it was firm, though stopped short of adding "otherwise we will have to kill you."

In fact, it was quaintly charming: Here's a direct lift from said press release:

"We kindly ask that you use discretion in reviewing this show by not revealing any plot details that contain spoilers. We also ask that you refrain from discussing the following:

- The ****** ***.

- Any details about ******’s flash forward, or that *** even has a flash forward

- ******

- Who goes with ***** and who goes with ****

- Any details about the four strangers/********* people’s back stories/flash*******."

OK, we kindly won't (and I've thrown in an extra asterisk here and there, just to throw off any informed guesstimates...) By the way, Newsday's own - the one, the only, the incomparable - Diane Werts, will review later this week.

"Lost" can be inscrutable in the best of circumstances, but what'll it be like with words on the screen - explaining action, symbolism, allusions, flashbacks, flashforwards, and whether Kate is really into Jack or Sawyer?

ABC's got an "enhanced" version of third season finale - "Through the Looking Glass" - that'll air next Wednesday at 9, night before the two-hour premiere. "Enhanced?" That's writing on the bottom third of the screen. Per ABC: "The enhanced version of 'Lost' will include text on the lower third of the screen and will 'let viewers in' on clues in the show, as well as give back story to catch new viewers up for Season Four."

We await illumination.

Explanation, please.

Well, I've gotten some response to my blog entry about the mysterious city in the "Lost" poster (see way below), which clearly means this poster has struck a national chord. Just what IS this city, and what IS that interesting dark letter, or circle that hovers over the building? Is the whole meaning of "Lost" in this poster? Is...

Anyway, we now respond to reader mail. Someone disputes my notion that this might be LA (though I still think it's Chicago.) He/she wonders: Have I ever even been to LA because there's no water line near downtown, which I obviously should have known about? Yes, Mr./Ms. LA! I have! In fact, I was born and raised in California. I'm a third-generation Angelino. Next question.

Someone also asks, could the poster city be Portland (below)?

Unlikely.

Or, how about Tallahassee?

I don't think so.

Someone also wondered, what about Singapore? Well...?

I'm starting to like this idea.

OK, let's get the LA question out of the way. My new penpal, "Bob" says, "it's definitely LA...you can make out the Bonaventure Hotel and the US Bank building's distinct outlines." That sounds reasonable to me...

...though I'm still not a hundred percent certain we're there yet. (How about Long Beach...anyone for Anaheim?...)

"Lost" doesn't return for a couple more weeks, but that's all the more reason for producers/ABC to start playing headgames with fans right...about...now.

As "Lost" headgamers know by now, ABC has been running a poster of the show that features a reflection of a big city in some lagoon; cast members are staring straight ahead, and behind them - a stand of palm trees. Why aren't the trees reflected? Obviously a cute visual cue to remind viewers that last season ended with a flash forward that took place in some large city; pretty sure it was LA, but I'd have to go back to watch the episode again. Some speculation that it was New York too because Jack was (apparently) reading an NYC paper (Oh, and by the way: If you want a better shot of the one that I posted here, which crops off the city top, then go to DarkUFO.)

In any event, here's the game: What city is this? Again, probably LA, but...might it be Chicago? That tower in the center looks like the Sears one while the buildings arrayed around it look a little bit like the vista from far out on Lake Michigan.

Whatever...and this is what "Lost" does to your head - play with it.

Meanwhile, I've got another blog posting on this mystery, responding to the VERY CONSTRUCTIVE comments that some readers have made. Go here to check 'em out.

Hmmmmmm

How much does ABC want to you to tune into "Lost," which returns on Thursday, Jan. 31?

Well, today they announced a semi-nifty way to catch up on all three previous seasons: You can check out a special 8-minute, 15-second trailer called “Lost In 8:15.” (Clever, no?)

The trailer is available at ABC.com and additional websites and tells the story to-date of the survivors of Oceanic Air’s Flight 815.

And if you happen to be going to the movies this holiday season, there's a good chance you can see a shorter "Lost" trailer as well.

The gang is back...on Thursdays!

Big news from the "Lost" front. The drama returns late January (the 31st) but the twist is this: It's been moved from Wednesdays to Thursdays at 9. What happens to "Grey's Anatomy," you reasonably ask? Well, there is a strike on and by that time, the "GA" episode well will be drier than an Atlanta reservoir. Enter "Lost," with at least a half a dozen fresh ones. ABC is hoping - maybe even praying - that the strike is over by the end of that abbreviated run so that "GA" can find it's way back home.

(You'll also note: "Desperate Housewives" will be held until March.)

There may be at least one other little reason for the "Lost" move from Wednesday to Thursday - get it out of "American Idol's" way. "Lost" - still firmly beloved by its many fans - has struggled on Wednesdays somewhat. With "Grey" off the air, it could easily surge on a protected Thursday berth.

Here's the rest of the mid-season ABC line-up, fresh off the press release; some shows are coming up in February, some staggered in March:

MONDAY (JAN) 8:00 p.m. “Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann”
9:30 p.m. “Notes from the Underbelly”
10:00 p.m. “October Road”

MONDAY (FEB) 8:00 p.m. “Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann”
9:00 p.m. “Samantha Who?”
9:30 p.m. “Notes from the Underbelly”
10:00 p.m. “October Road”

MONDAY (MAR) 8:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars”
9:30 p.m. “Samantha Who?”
10:00 p.m. “The Bachelor”

TUESDAY 8:00 p.m. “Just for Laughs”
8:30 p.m. “Just for Laughs”
9:00 p.m. “According to Jim”
9:30 p.m. “Carpoolers”
10:00 p.m. “Boston Legal”

TUESDAY (MAR) 8:00 p.m. “Just for Laughs”
8:30 p.m. “Just for Laughs”
9:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m. “Boston Legal”

WEDNESDAY 8:00 p.m. “Wife Swap”
9:00 p.m. “Supernanny”
10:00 p.m. “Cashmere Mafia” (“MEN IN TREES” beginning Feb 27)

THURSDAY (JAN) 8:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m. “Big Shots” (after special premiere of “Cashmere Mafia” on Jan 3)

THURSDAY (FEB) 8:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
9:00 p.m. “Lost”
10:00 p.m. “Eli Stone”

FRIDAY 8:00 p.m. Drama encores
9:00 p.m. Drama encores
10:00 p.m. “20/20”

SUNDAY (MAR) 7:00 p.m. “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m. “Oprah’s Big Give”
10:00 p.m. “Desperate Housewives”

Here’s a YouTube flashback for you -- the original plane crash from ABC’s “Lost,” re-edited into chronological order from various points of view: Jack and Kate on the plane, Desmond in the hatch, The Others in their compound.

The five-minute compilation doesn’t cover everything. (YouTube commenters seem most unhappy that Charlie’s plane-lavatory fix was left out.) And it was put together last October, before all the revelations of the third season unfolded.

A later editor/poster compiled this eight-minute alternative, with more on-plane details (including Charlie) and fewer elsewhere. Its pace doesn’t feel as tight or compelling.

Some other crash montages can be seen here and here.

There’s also this flash-fast "Lost" music video revealing all the characters’ “dirty little secrets” (fun but also dated, posted last fall).

These fan montages make interesting re-introductions to the universe that’s kept so many viewers guessing for so long. And we do need something to tide us over till ABC's fourth season starts in 2008.

UPDATED MAY 7 -- "Lost" has three seasons left, containing 48 total episodes, or just slightly longer than two full regular seasons. The Hollywood Reporter writes Monday that the show will air 16 episodes next season and each of the following two.

Click "Continue" below to see ABC's press release.

ORIGINAL POST MAY 4 -- E! Online is posting some "Lost" scoop.

Read it all here.

What, no “What About Brian?”

That seemed like the only series ABC didn’t announce Wednesday as getting an early renewal for the 2007-2008 fall season. “Lost,” “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives” will be back, as expected, along with freshman faves “Brothers & Sisters,” “Ugly Betty” and “Men in Trees.” Also coming back is “Boston Legal.”
[Above: George and Izzie have plenty of time to sort it out now that "Grey's" has gotten a fall renewal. ABC photo by Vivian Zink.]

ABC’s other fall pickups were unscripted series: the smash hit “Dancing With the Stars,” the declining romance competition “The Bachelor,” reliable Sunday feel-good “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” and late-night talkfest “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Previously announced were the seemingly immortal (and inexpensively produced) “America’s Funniest Home Videos” (on ABC since 1990), “Supernanny” and “Wife Swap.”

That’s 14 series, if you’re counting, already attached to a fall schedule normally announced in its entirety in mid-May, during the week of networks’ annual advertiser presentations known as the upfronts.

Among the shows not on ABC’s early-renewal list: any sitcoms. That’s not a huge show of faith in “George Lopez,” “According to Jim” or “The Knights of Prosperity,” which ABC had been rumored to be relaunching next season with a Ray Romano arc of episodes left unaired when the midseason entry was sent on hiatus. “Lopez” and “Jim” have mostly been used recently to plug lineup holes when fresher series failed (which was frequently).

Fox also announced a pickup Wednesday for the third season of “Prison Break,” which has broken out beyond prison into a massive government conspiracy. It joins other Fox returnees “House,” “Bones,” “The Simpsons,” “American Idol” and “MADtv.” Also surely coming back: animated cult fave “Family Guy,” the Saturday reality lineup of “Cops” and “America’s Most Wanted,” and new quiz hit “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” Not to mention “24.”

NBC got the whole quick-pickup game going in January, when it announced fall renewals for “Heroes,” “The Office,” “My Name Is Earl,” and “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.” Fans of “Friday Night Lights” should keep their fingers crossed.

Other shows already ordered for at least one more season include NBC’s “ER” and “Las Vegas,” CBS’ “Survivor,” and The CW’s “Everybody Hates Chris.”

So the last few episodes of “Lost” have been good. Meaty. Revealing. Moving the story forward. Tonight’s outing promises to tell us what put Locke in that wheelchair, long a question for which fans eagerly awaited an answer.

Too bad I don’t care anymore.

They can talk about submarines and C4 and electromagnetic pulses and ever more daddy issues -- even the possible blood relationships of some of the survivors now seemingly exposed. (Do Jack and Claire have the same father?)

So what? Last week’s episode (watch it here) ended with the “shocking” shot of Jack apparently throwing around the pigskin with The Others in a jolly backyard game. The music swelled, and that show-concluding da-dump sound thumped in exclamation. Like it’s really important. Like maybe Jack has turned! Like any of it matters.

Sorry, the show burned me out last fall with all that time-killing torture-in-cages, with all the bland new characters whose secret-keeping reserve was supposed to be mysterious but couldn’t have been more boring, with that narrowed focus on Jack/Kate/Sawyer as if who kisses whom has anything to do with why I watch this program. Character revelation was always the interest, and that took a fall backseat to brutal game-playing in an extended joy(less) ride.

Even meaty episodes now aren’t enough to get me back in the game. And plummeting ratings indicate lots of former fans agree with me. ABC blames the show’s third-season shift to 10 p.m., but it’s actually the lack of story progress all fall that did the damage. During those same weeks, “Heroes” came on hot and heavy, every week, stealing some of prime time’s thriller thunder. That new NBC treat stepped up the storytelling pace, better served its big range of characters on a regular basis, buoyantly included humor, and emphasized a sense of hopefulness, too -- as “Lost” grew increasingly bleak. “Heroes” is only starting out, true, and it may let us down two seasons on, too.

But “Lost” suffers from the contrast, as well as its own dragged-out digressions. The gotta-watch momentum is gone. TV’s unfortunate urge to stretch out a series -- which so often afflicts American networks, and ABC in particular (overuse killed the prime-time “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”; “Grey’s Anatomy” is now airing everywhere) -- seems to have struck “Lost” awfully early in its run. After months of running-in-place with their plotting, the producers have been forced to juice viewer/media interest by talking about charting their tale’s end game sooner than later.

It’s later already.

[Oh, please, no, not the hatch again!
Terry O’Quinn in ABC photo by Mario Perez.]

The home of the $1.99 episode, iTunes is offering some free TV downloads you would actually want.

Play catch-up: Before they returned from winter hiatus, both “Lost” and “Jericho” offered refresher episodes summarizing what happened last fall. Both recap hours are still free for the grabbing.

Preview: Download the pilot of NBC’s new well-reviewed (including by me) comedy “Andy Barker, P.I.” casting Andy Richter as an accountant/detective who sleuths as if auditioning for “Police Squad!” The show premieres Thursday night at 9:30.

[NBC photo by Mitchell Haaseth.]

Praise the Lord: "Lost" is right back where it should be, and then some. Last night's episode felt like deja-vu-all-over-again: A show that knows what it's about, but has spent the last few months pleasing whatever rabble it feels it’s been forced to please, namely ABC or whiny fans who Just Want Answers. To hell with answers. There are none. That's the whole point of "Lost" (or should be.)

Mysfying...strange...referential...literary...ridiculous...mysterious...incomprehsible (in a good way)..."Lostian." Enough with the hyperbole: There's too much to cover in a short blog entry, so here goes:

First, yes, that was the terrific Irish actress, Fionnghuala Flanagan, who played "Ms. Hawking" (no relation to Stephen, of course) at the jewelry store, and who was blessed with one of the most memorable lines in this memorable series history, and I quote:
"If you don't do those things, Desmond, every one of us is dead, so give me the sodding ring."

Great! It doesn't get better than that, anywhere, on any show. Fans's of Showtime's "Brotherhood" will remember her as Rose Caffee.

Next: Yes, of course this was all based on Ambrose Bierce's (poor Ambrose, who went insane, and also disappeared himself) "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge," and of course, you all knew that because you remember that back in the Feb. 8, 2006 episode, entitled "The Long Con," Locke was alphabetizing books, and one of them was authored by Bierce. A big deal for lots of "Lostian" reasons, notwithstanding the fact that the show owes some of its existence to "Twilight Zone," which famously based an episode on said story. Also, the whole idea of "flashbacks" is presumed to be inspired by "Occurrence" too, sending millions of "Lost" fans on a wild goose chase in which they assumed everyone on the island was perhaps seeing their lives flash before their eyes.

And so so much more: The scene in the Widmore office. I tried, dear reader, I tried to read the letters on the painting by Des' head - the one with the polar bear and the upside down Buddha, but alas, failed. I came up with this: "E72AHAM," and probably got some of it wrong. But what the heck. There are no answers. This is "Lost."

Next week's episode? "Stranger in a Strange Land." Now, if I can only find that old copy of Heinlein....

Oh Henry...We missed you, man. We missed you.

What did I tell you about “Lost” having lost it?

Ratings for the ABC drama’s Wednesday night return from its three-month hiatus were abysmal -- the lowest of the season.

ABC will blame the show’s move back to 10 p.m. (from 9 p.m.), the competition of the Fox juggernaut “American Idol” (although its Wednesday show was over by the time “Lost” started), the long winter layoff, and all sorts of other things.

But we know the truth.

Enough already with the dreary Others, their rainy compound, their brutal behavior, and the drawn-out Jack-Kate-Sawyer triangle. Let’s get back to the original characters’ conflicts and the tantalizing show we used to know.

[Josh Holloway and Evangeline Lilly in ABC photo by Mario Perez]