The TV Zone

Well, this may be it: Amy Ryan may have left "The Office," for good.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news just before the weekend, but I'm not telling fans anything they don't already suspect. In last night's episode, Holly (Flax, beleaguered human resources manager at Dunder Miflin) left the office, left Michael, and - in all likelihood - left the show behind, forever. It was an extraordinary episode (directed by Stephen Merchant, entitled "Employee Transfer") and pretty wrenching, for poor Michael.

As you are all aware, she joined up last season (see clip below) when Toby took off, and while no one expected a long run, it mighta been nice if she had lasted just a little bit longer. She's in Clint Eastwood's "Changeling," and has a big future in the movies, and already an Oscar nom as well.

BTW, her Oct. 9 ep, "Business Ethics," was one of the great episodes in "Office" history - a keeper.

I asked NBC a little while ago about her future; word from the producers is they "don't know" if she's coming back.

Courtney G.?

Of COURSE you remember her. She was the pint-size dynamo from Commack (now living in Dix Hills) who very nearly upended the field in last spring's "So You Think You Can Dance," by winning - but alas, ending up in fourth place instead.

In any event, she's back on the Island next Wednesday for the "SYTYCD" tour at Nassau C.(7:30), and Newsday own dynamo, the "American Idolista" extraordinaire, Ronnie Gill, spent a few minutes with her recently - a piece runs in the paper Monday.

[And before I forget..."SYTYCD" auditions are Nov. 13 in Brooklyn, at the Mark Morris Dance Center, 3 Lafayette Ave.)

She is/was/has been a Knicks City Dancer, and told RG, about a visit back to North East Dance Academy in Commack, where she started dancing, to teach the kids the Dancers' routines: "There’s no place like Madison Square Garden. It’s historical, the world’s largest arena. It's amazing performing there because of the energy whether the Knicks are winning or losing [which, ahem, they tend to do on a regular basis; plus I must dutifully add here that Cablevision which owns the Knicks and the Garden also cuts my paychecks too] ... My Knicks girls were so supportive of me" during the Fox run.

OK, here's a clip from Court's "SYTYCD" run - which, she says, was one of her favorite routines...It's with partner, Mark Kanemura, performing a jazz piece to "The Garden," choreographed by Sonya Tayeh... And go to the jump for her audition...

Continue reading "Courtney Galiano, Back on LI" »

Let's get down to trick or treating a little early today, shall we?

Here's our Halloween post of 2008:

Is "Mad Men" done?

That got your attention, I hope. It was was meant to.

Now, I'll get to the list of reasons why the greatest show in basic cable history could have just ended, or have ended its run on AMC.

But first, here's my "*" - or caveat emptor. As longtime readers of 'Zone know, I like to go on occasional flights of fancy; I do this to entertain myself, and hopefully a dozen or so faithful readers. What you are about to read is based on no reporting whatsoever, no inside knowledge, foresight, hunch, or blazing burst of insight that came to me in the night.

It's just reading the basic facts, and - in this instance, Nikki Finke's sensational blog post of a few days ago, where she reported that creator Matthew Weiner's reps were demanding for him ten million per year, in addition to control over promotion, which has sent producer Lionsgate scurrying for a new show runner. None of the Main Stream Media has gone after this story yet because it seems so unbelievable. But I believe it completely.

So, here's why "Mad Men" may be gone - and let's all hope I get the press release later today announcing that Weiner has just been signed to a new deal for a third season:

1.) $10 million is insane, particularly in this economy, and everyone knows it's insane. Particularly insane for Lionsgate, which has chewed off nails on both hands and is working on bone awaiting weekend box office returns for "W" and the much-panned "Saw V."

2.) Carl Icahn recently bumped up his stake in Lionsgate, accompanied by the six most dreaded words in the language - "I believe the stock is undervalued." That's sorta like the Texas chainsaw massacre guy saying, "think I'll go down to Home Depot to see if that Black & Decker 18-volt cordless is still on sale..." Icahn is a killer, and the last thing on the planet he would happily endorse is a ten million buck payout to a producer whose show delivers UNDER 1.5 million viewers per outing.

3.) AMC is a commercial network NOT a pay network, so it MUST base compensation on cost-per-thousand, or eyeballs delivered. Even with a huge premium attached because of "upscale" viewers, ten million smackers doesn't add up. It's telling Lionsgate no deal too, I imagine.

4.) No producer in his or her right mind wants to step up to the plate to do this show, because it's so specific to Weiner's vision, which is why we've gotten no announcement. Besides, the superstars would want a bundle too. Whadaya think Fox paid to get J.J. Abrams back to do "Fringe?" (I'm sure right now he's saying, "not enough...")

5.) Weiner's most insane demand is for promotion. No producer gets promotion at a commercial web - it's an unthinkable demand, or as Don Corleone might say, "That I cannot do."

6.) Weiner obviously wants out at Lionsgate and AMC - my speculation - because he does in fact hate the promotion, one of the great drivers of television circulation, and is disgusted with the low ratings, which he probably blames on promotion.

7.) By floating ten million, Weiner's reps have put the big guns in play, notably HBO and Showtime. They WILL pay that kind of money for Weiner, but they'll want "Mad Men" in the bargain.

8.) Aha, Gay - that's the biggest flaw in your reasoning, says you. AMC already HAS "Men" locked and loaded for the next two seasons, along with the entire cast. It just doesn't have Weiner. Here's what I'd say - AMC's interest can be bought out too. All HBO has to do is float a sufficiently large check, and the entire production shifts over there.

9.) Why would Weiner want HBO or Showtime anyway? Here's the best reason of all. At heart, "Mad Men" is NOT a commercial TV show, as good a job as AMC has done. It'd work best as an hour on a pay web, uninterrupted by ads for Viagra or Listermint. I know this for a fact because that's how I've watched the show, either on DVD or Cablevision's On-Demand. The show, frankly, is ruined by commercials.

10.) My last reason - this season's last episode played like a series finale. Of this, I cannot be dissuaded. If "Mad Men" is in fact done, then Weiner can hold his head up and say, "I completed my vision. I'm satisfied."

Of course, hard core fans aren't. Let's hope I get the press release any minute now.

Yup, it's official - the Republican Nom, who's still looking for that Hail Mary into the end zone will appear on "Saturday Night Live" tomorrow. Surprise? Ha! Do we even have to ask? It's been rumored for weeks though MSNBC broke the story first thing this morning, followed a little while later by official confirmation from the staff.

John McCain's always a good sport at these affairs, and he must have a "hey, what have I got to lose!' attitude at this point. What's intriguing are these various questions: Will Sarah Palin return tomorrow too? That's a real likelihood. And, will Barack Obama as well? I don't remember when two candidates ever appeared on "SNL" at the same time...

My hunch, by the way, is that if they're both on, or all three are on, they CERTAINLY WON'T be at Studio 8 H at the same time; the security would be overwhelming, and it'd be impossible to get the show on. Maybe a couple of remotes though...

There's absolutely no point in my going to "SNL" to get answers to these questions. The standard pro-forma response: "We don't comment on rumors..."

Here's what I believe to be Mac's last appearance, in the season finale last May:

Yes, I'm as much in the habit of self-promotion as the next needy, desperate, neurotic TV writer. I have to remind myself now and then that I actually did get it right - once or twice, anyway. .

Almost exactly two years ago, I pegged "30 Rock" as one of the best comedies you'd see that season, and by golly - as Kenneth might say - I was right.

Everyone else was waxing endlessly about the genius of Aaron Sorkin, and how rich and melodic and splendid "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" was.

But I hated it.

"30 Rock?" A joy. And still is.

"The Office/30 Rock" remains the best one/two punch on the boob tube.

Now dear reader, go to the jump for my old 2006 review, and thanks for tolerating my sad, dare I say, pathetic neediness. Then, watch tonight...

Continue reading ""30 Rock:" Another Review. My Old One" »

Question: What happens if next week's election is dull and obvious by (say) 11 a.m. and the networks have to pretend that there's actual DRAMA going on out there for the next ten hours or so?

Answer: Entertain us!

And that's what CNN has in store. Though it probably won't get a HUGE road test on Tuesday, the network has plans for its first-ever use of hologram technology.

Howzit work? Well, Wolf's in NYC, and Candy Crowley's at Obama headquarters, and Wolf decides to see Candy face to face; she says "beam me up, Wolfie" and a second later, she's virtually standing next to Wolfie, err, Wolf.

Here's the relevant graf from the recent press release:

"Adding to what promises to be one of the most technologically advanced events in CNN’s 28-year history, CNN will enhance interviews with remote correspondents and guests using hologram projection. The network has built sets powered by hologram technology at both campaign headquarters making it possible to project three-dimensional images into the Election Center. From the New York set, anchors will exhibit more natural conversations with newsmakers and CNN correspondents in the field by interacting in real time with their 3-D virtual images."

Oh yes, you're thinking, Wolf could even beam up a president-elect (but he has to be careful because you all remember what happened in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," when Captain Sisko ordered Chief O'Brien to beam up Odo, and poor Odo didn't quite make it...)

Why hasn't CNN done this before? My hunch - other than what happened to Odo, it IS tricky technology. You can't jar anything, and the set has to be very still; if Wolf sneezes, then the hologram will dissolve into a billion pixels...Candy or the Prez-elect will not like that.

Remember "Obama for Prez" last night - that half hour commercial that aired at 8 across seven networks (except for ABC?)

The final figure: 33.553 million viewers.

Yup, that's a big figure - especially for a commercial.

Here's what Nielsen said a minute ago in the presser:

"On Wednesday October 29, 2008 the Obama campaign purchased a half hour of prime time television on CBS, FOX, NBC, Univision, BET, MSNBC, and TV One to present a program produced by the campaign. The sum of the audiences for these seven networks was 33,553,000."

The breakdown: CBS, 8.6 million; Fox, 7.1 mill; NBC, 9.8 mill; Univision, 3.5 mill; BET, .7 million; MSNBC, 3.5 mill; TVOne, .3 mill.

Monday night football: Steelers, Redskins, McCain, Obama.

And just when you thought the electioneering was over. Here's the word from ESPN, sports fans:

"On the eve of the presidential election, ESPN’s Monday Night Football game November 3 will originate from the nation’s capital when the Pittsburgh Steelers meet the Washington Redskins. Before the polls open the next day, ESPN’s audience will hear from the candidates when Chris Berman interviews both major party presidential nominees, Republican Senator John McCain and Democratic Senator Barack Obama, during halftime of the MNF game."

"The candidates will be on the campaign trail and have agreed to participate one-on-one, pending last-minute schedule changes, via satellite with Berman from the ESPN studios in Bristol, Conn. The conversations will be taped earlier in the day and will air at approximately 10:15 p.m. ET. "

I'm terrified.

Seriously. It's Halloween tomorrow and I'm terrified.

This happens every year at this time. I start to catalog all the stuff on TV that really scares me. I write it down, show it to my shrink, and he tells me - "don't worry, Verne. It's only a TV show! Just turn it off."

Not so easy, Herr Docktor Freud! I have to write about this stuff.

So this Halloween, I decided, I would share with you all my fears - those deep elemental terrors that wake me at night from a deep sleep, and set my heart into palpitations, and my brain into overdrive. These are my own TV things that go bump in the night.

On the eve of Halloween, they are especially scary.

Here goes...

- Cloris Leachman, dancing once again, ever again, with Corky Ballas, or really, with anyone. Ever.

- Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar - backstage.

- Bravo's "Real Housewives" franchise...after Atlanta, what? Toledo?

- Unsolicited DVDs that come across my desktop, notably Volume Two of "Son of the Beach," and the very first episode out of the box, "It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude Beach."

- The end of political season on "Saturday Night Live." Soon, back to regular "SNL."

- That call coming from my editor, ordering a long feature story on We's "My Fair Wedding."

- That call coming from my editor, ordering a 2,000 word "Fanfare" feature on "Hulk Hogan & Family," "E! True Hollywood Story," while insisting that no where in this story can these words or phrases appear - "horrific," sad," "godawful," or "Jesus, so this is what TV has come to..."

- "Melrose Place: The Remake"

- The press conference at the winter press tour for "Melrose Place: The Remake," in which Dawn Ostroff, CW topper, is asked, repeatedly, "have you approached Heather yet...?"

- Watching - and being deeply disturbed by the fact that I'm enjoying - Chapters Eleven and Twelve of "Lipstick Jungle" (entitled, respectively, "The F Word," and "Scary Scary Night." )

- Lifetime and Hallmark Movies - all of them, though particularly "Mail Order Bride" (Hallmark, Nov. 8).

- The new episode of Sundance's "Iconoclasts," starring Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar

- "The Bill Engvall Show." I don't know why really. It's just very scary.

- The forthcoming Oprah Winfrey Network, airing 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Beyond terrifying.

- The name of Campbell Brown's CNN show, "No Bias, No Bull."

- Keith Olbermann's eyebrows.

- "True Blood:" Not the show, but the fact that HBO renewed it.

- Howie Mandel (Am I the only one?)

- "Dr. 90210" on E! (I'm sure I'm not the only one.)

- "20 Acts of Love Gone Wrong" on E! (where else!)

I fell asleep during Barack Obama's half hour commercial last night - during the tour of the soccer mom's refrigerator, if you're interested in the precise spot where somnolence over took my pre-election addled soul. BUT...I did happen to catch this interview on "The Daily Show."

If you missed, well worth watching.

Here's something to realize that you should realize that the Major Mainstream Old Media is not telling you: They've flatly determined, inside their hallowed offices, that Obama has won. It's over. It's not some sort of liberal bias, either, that you may have already ascribed to their motives, but pure 21st century science. The polls have this one over, from sea to shining sea.

The polls - much as some people would like them to be - are not wrong. This is not Dewey beats Truman or even Kerry Beats Bush in Florida (remember that exit poll flop four years ago?) My point is: Last night's interview felt, from where I sat, like an interview suffused with a sense of completion. Not arrogance. Just completion. That it was over. And he had won. And Jon Stewart knew he had won. There was a whiff of this in Charlie Gibson's interview earlier in the evening. (Charlie even asked, as a door closer, the obligatory but irrelevant what O would do if he "lost;" oh yeah, sure, wink wink.)

This interview with Stewart is light-hearted, but touchs on important stuff, notably that old question about whether white voters will vote for a black candidate. O has some good quips, about that so-called "Bradley effect." Check it out...

Jeez, I feel bad posting this so late today, but have had a bunch of stuff to do and didn't have a second to get around to it and know that by now everyone on the planet's seen it, and ...why am I making all these excuses?

Watch!

It's Tina Fey and Conan O from last night.

TF's great quote after Sarah P offered her daughter to babysit her three-year, also in attendance:

"That's exactly what Bristol Palin wants to do when she goes to "SNL' - babysit the toddler of the lady who goofs on her mom..."

Oh praise be. Hallelujah.

"Melrose Place" is coming back.

Don't know how, don't know when. Only know that the CW - the remake network! - has now officially confirmed, after what seems like a decade of speculation, that in fact one of TV's singular prime-time soaps will get a do-over.

Repeat: "Melrose Place" is coming back.

"Melrose Place": Good Lord, was there ever a soapier prime-time soap? It's as if Darren Star said to himself, "well, I already did THAT on 'Beverly Hills,' but I'm pretty sure I never blew up half a block of apartment buildings as an act of insanity and domestic terrorism."

It's almost as if he anticipated "24" or maybe even "Prison Break" with "Melrose."

I don't need to tell you what all this means, other than the fact that brain-toasted TV writers with far too much time on their hands can now speculate about who will make cameos, or maybe even jump-start their idled careers on the new version. I can already hear the questions at the January press tour...

"Ummm, Dawn, there have been reports that Tom Calabro may join 'Melrose Place.' Could you comment?"

Ah, modern-day journalism. And, because I am the practitioner of such journalism, let us begin. Who will be back?

Honestly, any remake of "Melrose" has to begin with Amanda - Heather Locklear - and Peter (Jack Wagner.) Has to. No avoiding this. My sense is that poor Heather is in no position right now to discuss a role that would come to eerily parallel her real-life one. Wagner (he's in "B&B")? Why not?

A reminder: Peter and Amanda faked their own deaths...

I do like the odds of Calabro's return; Doc Mancini hasn't been doing too much the past few years, or frankly much of anything TV-related since "Melrose" split in '99; I see a definite come-back. Josie Bissett has gone on to "The Secret Life of the American Teenager;" I do believe Jane Mancini survived, but don't hold me to that.

Let's see. Who else? I think we can fairly easily rule out Marcia Cross (Kimberley Shaw) and Doug Savant (Matt Fielding). Their characters died during the run, and unless they're brought back from the dead - always a possibility with "Melrose" - I doubt we'll be seeing them. A shame: Think of the extraordinary cross-promotional possibilities with "Desperate Housewives."

Grant Show (Tom)? Yeah, I think he survived, but don't hold me to that either. Billy Campbell - Andrew Shue - did as well, but I think we can and probably should rule him out. Shue's spent a career trying to expunge the "Melrose" run from his resume; moved to Europe, played pro soccer, and eventually founded ClubMom in NYC.

But I can hear Dawn on the phone now: "Please Andrew...just one quick cameo. I'll give a huge donation to 'Mom..."

Now click on the vid below, and relive the glories of "Melrose" over sixty seconds...

The following took place between 3 and 4 p.m.: Your humble correspondent watched a solid chunk of "24:Redemption."

While the theater premiere took place in NYC this past Saturday (and didn't Mary Lynn Rajskub look fab on the red carpet?) DVDs are hitting the critical community as we speak (which could mean that ripped and burned copies, or bitTorrent editions, could be hitting the Web before too long as well). The two-hour movie arrives Sunday, Nov. 23.

My impressions? So glad you asked. Here are three quick ones and I'll add to the list:

1.) This is a markedly different viewing experience, requiring of the viewer almost NO backstory, or mythology, or history or ANYTHING. If it's not a complete reboot, it's as close to one as I've seen of a major television production in a long time. Point being that viewers - and fans, whose memories may have dimmed after so many years (yes, years) - don't really need to exercise the gray matter (or search the Web) to proceed. You know some of the basic plot details already - Jack's in Africa where he's served a subpoena to testify before a Senate panel (and good luck getting him back THERE), while a revolutionary army in Africa is raising arms and soldiers by kidnapping boys at gunpoint.

2.) Jack looks fine. Sure, what else d'ya expect? For a guy who's been on the lam, and on the sidelines during an interminable writers' strike, JB is still JB, which is to say, smoldering, stubbled, mumbly, and still gosh-darn earnest and passionate about what really matters on this earth.

3.) The first hour - it takes place between 3 and 5 p.m. - is solidly expositional, but not absurdly so, which is something else that adds to a distinctly non-"24" viewing experience. Split screens - I think I count only one instance - are kept to a bare minimum, and there's really not a great deal here to suggest that "Redemption" necessarily wants to connect you with any of the past six seasons. CTU doesn't even appear ONCE in the first hour, not ONCE (Chloe, for all any of us know, has gone off and started a family...But she will be back...not to worry.) Beyond JB, the immediate and obvious blast-from-distant-past faces include those of Peter MacNicol (Tom Lennox) and Powers Boothe (President Noah Daniels); latter's getting ready to cede the throne to Cherry Jones, as prez-elect Allison Taylor.

Here, BTW, is that three-minute trailer that's been circulating for a month or so...

And that nice dramatic photo above was taken by...Kelsey McNeal for Fox.

Finally, and sadly, I'm pretty certain we can say goodbye to Cloris tonight.

In fact, let's just say goodbye right now.

Goodbye, Cloris. You were the best. And by "the best," I don't mean "the best," but something approximating "the most amusing, the most aggravating, the most cleavaged, the most outspoken (if ya know what I mean)."

There's no way she can overcome last night's judge's score of 15 - which is almost as low as you can go on "DWTS" without actually just throwing up your hands and saying "to hell with THIS! I'm outta here."

We're all fond of Clo, but there's been reasonable speculation that the show wanted her gone. If so, success is at hand.

Consider: Temp judge Michael Flatley seemed to give everyone a "9" last night. And then he shreds poor Clo with a 5.

Here's a clip from a disgruntled viewer, if you missed last night, who even went so far as to insert bubble comments...

Did you know that late night comics have been nailing the Republican ticket more than the Democratic ticket?

Surprise!

That's the kind of stuff you learn here at TV Zone. The Center for Media and Public Affairs, which counts such things, has released its late night comic data, and found that since September 1 through last Friday, the Repubs were hit by late nighters 475 times, while O'Biden got clubbed just 69. CMP boss Robert Lichter told the AP that this is the greatest discrepancy (a 7-1 ratio) since 1988, when he first started tracking this stuff.

What does any of this mean? Honestly, beyond the simple fact that Obama isn't very funny, nor is McCain, and certainly not Biden, which leaves...

Do you see where I'm going here? Her name is...

The CMPA, and subsequent news articles based on this research, always tries to tie the late night comic ratio to some sort of voting pattern, but honestly, I have my doubts. If that were the case, then someone named Reagan would have never been elected, nor Bush 1 or II, nor Bubba. In other words, if there's a correlation it may simply be that people vote FOR candidates who are poked at: It's called a "humanizing" effect. Whatever...some of the AP story by David Bauder is on the jump...

BTW, here's a fairly typical/amusing example of Palin ridicule...from early October...

Continue reading "Late Night Comics: Favorite Targets" »

I don't know - I just can't figure these two guys out. I always assumed Dave kinda didn't like Bill too much and Bill kinda returned the favor. (Remember waaaay back in January of '06, when Dave said to him, "I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap?")

But tonight's show seems to suggest that these two may be buds; a nice interview, at least based on the transcript that hit my in-box a little while ago. I read it, found it interesting, and so, too, shall you. Meanwhile, Jay Leno has MIchelle O on "Tonight"...To the jump!

Continue reading "Bill O'Reilly, Dave Letterman: Now, BFFs?" »

I wonder why the Friars Club occasionally invites press coverage of its legendary roasts. Honestly, what's to be gained - for either roasters or roastee? If you roast well, per the Friar's hoary tradition, you have turned the roastee into something resembling a night-stalking beast with multiple sex organs (each of gargantuan proportion) and the libido of a thousand nymphomaniacs.

If you then happen to have, as often seems to be the case, Gilbert Gottfried as one of the presenters (doesn't seem to matter if he knows the victim or not) then the whole affair turns into an orgy of scatology that would humiliate anyone within a thousand feet, including pedestrians walking down 55th Street outside who would hear the shriek and groans from within, left wondering, "who died?"

Well, apparently poor Ann Curry did during Matt Lauer's roast on Friday...

Anyway, press usually shows up to these things, laughs along, then writes a nice adulatory piece about the roastee, with the usual conditional clause that "some of the language was indeed so blue that it couldn't be included in the pages of family newspaper...."

Thank God the Village Voice isn't a family newspaper. Check out Tony Ortega's posting right here, then watch the incredibly lame and tame clip that aired on "Today" this morning. (Fair warning - the Voice post contains some pretty crude language, so you may want to skip - but it does explain that Curry reference during this morning's "Today.")

Ortega, in fact, explains why Ann Curry was "beet-red;" believe me, you would be too, and then call your lawyer...

Last night's "SNL" was a cameo parade off "Mad Men" stars - publicity like this you cannot buy - plus, the return of Maya Rudolph. First clip is Don Draper's Guide to Picking up Women... Amusing. The next one is a winner too: Barack Obama's new variety hour, which is solid as a rock...And, I'm sure by now you know the reason Amy Poehler missed last night, but in case you don't...baby boy, eight pounds, Archie Arnett. Congrats to the parents.

Nikki Finke posted this one on her always-engaging blog (deadlinehollywooddaily.com), and I feel compelled to share too...

She said she got this via email. And now, for your viewing pleasure...

"Yoo hoo, Oprah! It's me! Your worst nightmare!..."

This just had to happen and by "this" I mean an article proclaiming Sarah Palin as "The Next Oprah."

It hit the wires this morning, and if you haven't yet seen, the Hollywood Reporter piece is entitled, "Sarah Palin the Next Oprah Winfrey?"

Here's the lede:

"As campaign managers for Sarah Palin plot last-minute tactics to get her elected, Hollywood bigwigs are convening strategy sessions of their own. Their goal: finding the ideal on-air vehicle for the vp candidate if and when she exits politics...."

Yes, friends. This is serious. This is not a joke. Please go to the jump to read more...

(Photo, AP)

Continue reading "Is Sarah Palin the Next Oprah? Tyra? Umm, Rachael?" »

OK, you missed last night's "Saturday Night Live" because...because...whatever.

It matters not. Click the vid below, and you too shall see the big news of the night; I do believe this is the last "SNL Thursday" edition cuz next week, "30 Rock."

The brief logline: Dubya hangs with Sarah Sixpack and endorses John McCain, who doesn't look too happy about said endorsement. But...what's especially notable here - this could be Tina Fey's very last outing as Sixpack. Could be, but we'll see...

Here's the clip...

Unless, of course, you really DO want to pay for it, in which case make your checks out to "TV Zone, C/O Verne Gay" (and please, no foreign denominations.)

As expected, NBC posted the third season premiere - the whole shebang - on Hulu this morning. (But because it's so hard to type in Hulu in your subject field, you may as well just click on the vid below...)

Why the week's jump start? Simple! NBC got a teensy bit of heat from fans - and maybe some internally too - that it had waited waaaay too long to air the best comedy on TV, looooong after everything else had premiered. But it was stuck - after all, it's trying to get "Kath & Kim" going, and "SNL" is locked in at 9:30 through tonight, so...

Post it on Hulu!

(I'm also thinking if I'm TV Guide right about now, I'm feeling, ummm, kind of like an idiot. The mag is giving the show free to subscribers via iTunes; but now the entire world can see it right here on TV Zone. )

Oh, thanks for asking: My quickie review?

I loved it...BUT the second episode of the season, the one with Oprah, is (as I write in this Sunday's paper) "a masterpiece..."

And I'm not blowin' smoke either; it's really first-rate. So onward...click away...

This morning's Variety has what I believe to be one of the more exhaustive discussions of "Mad Men" I've seen, and the guy doing the discussing is none other than creator Matthew Weiner. I could send you to Variety, and Kathy Lyford, who asked the questions, or keep you here, and would prefer to do the latter, but it's so long that that would be ridiculous. So here ya go... There are some good thoughtful questions here, and Weiner is clearly in an expansive mood; there's so much that I've just scanned it. But for you hardcore "Mad Men-iacs," this is a full breakfast.

My quick re-ax: No question about his deal renewal! Unimaginable, unless he set that as a pre-condition (no deal questions). I'll have a little more to say about the "Mad Men" finale in the next day or so, but here is my initial read: Sunday's wrap doesn't feel simply like a season wrap but a SERIES wrap. Really does. The overwhelming sense you (too) will have is that the producers structured this so that it could work as a series' ender - just in case AMC or Lionsgate made the unthinkable decision to pull the plug (they did not, of course) or fail to come up with the money to keep Weiner on board.

They still haven't done the latter.

Please go to the jump to find out what Matthew says about the finale...

Continue reading "Weiner Talks 'Mad Men'" »

My apologies - a reader pointed out that I'd posted a dead vid (ABC probably killed it.)

So here it is again....The very first glimpse of the fifth season of "Lost," probably arriving next January (the 29th) or February (the 5th)...

"Lost" fans will eat this up - even if there's not much to chew on. Nevertheless, there are some tantalizing nuggets herein ...

Barack Obama will be on the Nov. 1 edition of "Saturday Night Live" in all likelihood and maybe then he can give pointers to Fred Armisen about that Barack O impression he's been doing.

A little while ago, he appeared on WUSA / Channel 9 in D.C. - and was asked by reporter Derek McGinty, "are you disappointed [the impression] just isn't very funny?"

Obama laughed - a diplomat to the core - and said, "I've gotta say, compared to Tina Fey and what she's been doing with Gov. Palin, my imitator isn't doing as great a job, but I do know my ears have been getting bigger and bigger each episode. I'm sure they'll get me right over time."

OK, if you wanna watch, go to this link, and scroll to the bottom - the Obama clip is in the bottom right hand corner.

Continue reading "Obama: Gives "SNL" a C+ on his impression" »

Yeah, tomorrow night.

This time, she's trying to get a gig at Mode! (You remember - Kimmie, the mean girl from Betty's distant past.)

In any event, I've swiped these couple of clips from E! Online, and Kristin Dos Santos who first posted this huge news back first thing Monday morning. I'm just getting to it, but better late than never. I thank you, Kristin, and Lilo fans from all the world over thank you...

And no, he's NOT leaving "30 Rock" either!

You see, Alec can walk and chew gum at the same time, and so he's gonna do a once a week hosting gig on TCM, for a series entitled "The Essentials." He'll do it with Robert Osbourne, the fabulous host of everything else on TCM.

Honestly, this is a great move for Alec - who's been increasingly Hamlet-like, talking about whether to be or not to be an actor, and whether he should fight the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune of being on a low-rated TV series for an evil network, or take arms against a sea of trouble - notably his psyche, and ex-wife - and by opposing (or working as a TV host or radio host for a classic music station) end them.

Of course, it could be really boring and he'd fall asleep, perchance to dream.

Ay, there's the rub...

I'm sorry, but I've been watching "Mad Men," drinking single malt, and you really shouldn't do that at 11 o'clock in the morning. (Hick...)

Here's the much more rational presser:

"Fresh off his Emmy® for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) has signed to co-host Turner Classic Movies’ (TCM) signature movie showcase, THE ESSENTIALS. Beginning in March 2009, Baldwin, who possesses a deep love and understanding of classic films, will join TCM host Robert Osborne in introducing “must see” movies each week, with an eye toward helping viewers better understand why these films are important and the impact they had on audiences and the culture at large. Baldwin has previously appeared on TCM as part of the network’s Guest Programmer series. Earlier this year, he hosted the TCM special Role Model: Gene Wilder, in which he sat down with the comic actor for an intimate conversation about Wilder’s life and career. TCM’s THE ESSENTIALS showcase airs each Saturday at 8 p.m."

"You love me. You really love me...! ---holes."

Can anyone shoehorn this image in their brain? Karl Rove watching "South Park?"

But it must be so: That Nielsen chart that got a lotta mileage yesterday says that "SP" is the show most "heavily engaged" by Republicans. Yes, "South Park."

"The Colbert Report" is the Dem fave. That, I suppose, makes sense.

Here's how Nielsen explains itself: "''Engagement' refers to the amount of attention paid to a television program by the average viewer. Nielsen measures TV engagement by questioning a representative panel of viewers about their recall of specific telecasts’ content.

"Nielsen’s analysis found that the cable programs that received the highest overall engagement scores — meaning viewers were most engaged in the shows’ content — also received the most bipartisan support, drawing high engagement scores from viewers of both parties, as well as from viewers who identify as political 'Independents.'”

Wake up everyone! All this means is that GOP viewers are really into "South Park" because they are so appalled when Butters shoots three guys in the penis, that they just have to write the Family Media Council (or whatever) to register their complaints. They also love Cartman. Dems are into "Raporrrr" because they hate Bill O'Reilly and this is the outlet for their frustration.

But check this out: The independents, AKA, "Undecideds," are loving "The Cleaner."

"THE CLEANER!!!!!"

Good Lord.

They also really engage with "The Real Housewives of Orange County."

I wish they could just make up their minds.

The press release should be hitting my in-box just about any minute now announcing, proclaiming, celebrating the news that Fox News Channel has re-upped Bill O'Reilly for another four years.

The Sean Hannity news is now official - he's been re-upped for "several more years," per a press release from FNC's Bill Shine.

Big news? No, of course not, but expected. Bill O and FNC actually leaked his new contract extension to the Washington Post's Howard Kurtz yesterday; his piece reads that Bill O will make "more than" or "over" (or words to that effect) $10 million per, which seems amazingly coy to me. "More than" ten, could mean - like - $50 million more than ten, or 50 dollars more than ten. What IS the figure, Bill? I think I smell spin here...

I imagine a lot more than $10 million simply because without either him or Hannity, and with Roger Ailes' energies and attentions focused in a thousand other places, the network's future is murky indeed. Honestly, I can't think of a place more dependent on one single individual - Bill O - than FNC. Without him or Hannity, FNC might actually be in a dog fight with MSNBC; imagine.

So, I imagine this should probably read "under $15 million...and over $14 million..."

Begs the question: What other role, if any will he have at the network? He says to Kurtz he's dropping his radio show, so that means time and energy will be freed up. Brit Hume's leaving; will he have some sort of role on "Special Report?" Unlikely, but still an outstanding question...

Interesting aside on this deal: Both are for four years, which - I believe - is the duration of a presidential tour of duty. Bill O's last deal was for four years too, and I imagine they've been four year deals for as far back as FNC has been on the air. But if the polls are to be believed, this does mean that Bill O will be spending the next four years counter-punching the Obama administration, and the same with Hannity, only more so.

We await the press releases on Shep, Greta, Alan...

(Pix: AP)

Talk about your odd couples.

"Dexter:" One of the better shows on TV.

"Knight Rider:" One of the worst shows in the entire history of the universe, even pre-dating the Big Bang...(But, hey, I still love you, Kitt...)

Both have earned new season pick-ups.

In "K R's" instance, it's actually gotten an order for the "back nine," which means that - unless viewers awaken from their lobotomized near-comatose state and realize to their great horror that they've been watching this show - it'll air the rest of this season.

"Dex" got a fourth and fifth season pick-up. That's no surprise because CBS has figured a way to "monetize" this, by drawing subs to Showtime, and then airing watered-down versions on the Big Network over the summer.

"Vote for MEEEEE!!!!!"

My God, is the fix in on "Dancing with the Stars," or what? For some reason - probably some reason to do with demographics, ad rates, money, finance, profit, and the continued dominance and preeminence of the Walt Disney Company - "DWTS" judges have effectively decided that either Brooke Burke or "Commander" Cody Linley will win this competition.

That's it. Over. Done. Don't even bother voting anymore. Your votes no longer count. As long as the judges continue to give 9, 10s, and - I'm sure if they could - 11s and 12s to Burke and Commander Cody, this edition is over.

I don't get it.

They're good, I suppose, though last night's jitterbugs were almost insufferable - obnoxious, cute, treacly and just plain gross. But the judges LOVED them, the Cutesy Twins, and they always do, because - as mentioned - they've decided to crown one of these two.

But there is still hope.

I believe Warren Sapp could win this thing.

I believe Warren Sapp SHOULD win this thing.

I believe Warren Sapp WILL win this thing.

If the judges put a brake on their bias for the Cutsie Twins. If they do...

Sapp was the best last night. Easily the best. Style, poise, passion - Kym Johnson too. It's up to the voters now. They have to do the work. Let's see if they do.

(Pix of QB Killa from his Buc days, courtesy James Borchuck, of the St. Pete Times.)

"Hey, Squidward, look who the kiddies picked..."

Kids have picked the president and anyone who reads the polls can pretty easily guess the results. But what's so interesting about the Nick tally, announced last night - other than the fact that Nick says the total of 2.2 million cast was the highest ever - is how close the votes were.

The tally: Barack Obama, 51% of the vote (1,167,087), and John McCain, 49% (1,129,945).

Hey, I thought the polls said O is ahead like 35 percent?

Nick always dutifully and redundantly point outs that the Pick the President vote is not scientific, though in a statement Linda Ellerbee says, "It’s important to take note of who won the ‘Kids’ Vote,’ simply because so many kids vote the way their parents will."

That's certainly true, but many don't, and what's amazing is just how well McCain did here. He's hardly an instantly or effortlessly "appealing" figure to young kids, unlike O, who clearly is - yet for some reason, plenty of kids checked "McCain." A good sign for the struggling Senator? Maybe...but the kiddies have picked the one who prevails in November four out of the last five prez elections.

Are you the last human being on the planet Earth who doesn't know about that Katie Holmes cameo in tonight's "Eli Stone?" No - I am, only because I've studiously, strenuously, assiduously stayed away from any mention of stunt casting on primetime shows this season (other than O on "30 Rock") if only because stunt casting is so incredibly tiresome. But ABC has promoted this so relentlessly, so breathlessly, so insanely that I've finally thrown in the towel.

Mrs. Tom Cruise is on tonight's "Eli Stone."

There. So noted.

There have been a few good clips out there that offer a glimpse of this curious Stone apparition, but this one is the best I found.

"Of COURSE I'll take the job, Barack...whatever you say..."

Let's let this roll around on our tongues - "Oprah Winfrey, Ambassador to the Court of St. James..."

I do like the sound of it. (Don't you?)

Can you get some sort of honorary knighthood or ladyhood if you take this gig? "Lady Oprah?" or "Dame Winfrey..."

Once again, I'm letting my imagination run away from me, or just maybe Financial Times columnist columnist Gideon Rachman is. He's citing "well-placed sources" that suggest Oprah might get the nod for the most prestigious ambassadorship of them all.

I'm serious.

HE'S serious.

THIS is serious.

I think it could happen. Maybe it could happen. Who knows...?

Reason: Oprah has talked for so long about abandoning the show that one of these days it'll actually happen. What would it take for her to leave? The Court of St. James?

Here's what Joshua Keating is saying in his "FT" blog:

"Rachman acknowledges the idea sounds ridiculous, but there is a tradition of major campaign donors being rewarded with ambassadorships. I have to say, though, this would probably be a worse career move for Oprah than for Obama. If the world's most-powerful celebrity really wants to get involved in international diplomacy, there are probably more effective and enjoyable ways she can go about it on her own."

That's true! Just look what happened in South Africa, and that principal!

On second thought, don't look at what happened with the principal.

Oprah has been trekking the "international diplomacy" route for so long that maybe even SHE'S getting a little bored of the whole thing.

How nice to visit the Queen every so often, or maybe drop in at 10 Downing Street?

The more I think upon this idea, the more I'm intrigued...

Veeeeery intrigued.

(Photo: Reuters)

I've now officially run out of things to say about Sarah Palin/"SNL" - so much so that I've resorted to making things up (see below) - but one can't let the day slip away without a quick refer to Alec Baldwin's defense of her appearance in today's HuffPo.

I'm not a hundred percent certain what he means with his Kissinger reference, but he clearly comes to Palin's defense here, AND "SNL's."

Says Alec in the key graphs:

"[SNL] is not Meet the Press. It doesn't 'ask the tough questions' or 'set the agenda.' It attempts, with varying degrees of success, to make people laugh. That's it. Whether they skewer and savage people in order to do so, they don't care. When you come on a show like that, you are prepared in advance to get worked over. Palin knew that. Palin came on to be a good sport. And she was. She was polite, gracious. (More so than some of the famous actors who come through there, believe me.)

"However, I assume that, like Meet the Press, SNL feels an obligation to offer their special forum to any and all public figures and officials who are current. Headline making. And in SNL's case, would make for a hit show. Several people decried SNL for giving her a spot on the show. You're kidding, right? The woman is the Vice Presidential nominee of one of the two major parties in this country. Don't put her on SNL? With all of her exposure and the Tina Fey performance? What reality are you in? "

(Above, Jack Donaghy, of GE, with Sarah Palin.)

All smiles...

[As usual, the real drama and fun behind the Sarah Palin visit to "Saturday Night Live" must have taken place off camera Saturday night, and we at TV Zone, in lieu of anything better to do, tried to imagine the conversation that took place between Lorne Michaels and Tina Fey just before show time.]

Tina: No, Lorne. This is it. No. I'm not doing that. Not gonna happen. I've done everything you've asked. Everything. Gone the extra mile. Turned up Thursdays. This has ruined my life, my image, my SOUL. I'll be this person FOREVER. Enough.

Lorne: Tina, just one little hug. A quick one. I'm not talking a warm lingering hug, or some air kiss - although that would be nice. It's the photo op for the ages, the one on every front page, on every telecast from here to eternity.

Tina: YOU hug her. I'm through.

Lorne: Ok, no hug. A handshake and a smile - that warm Tina Fey smile, and then both of you turn to the camera, and wave, and say "Live from New York..."

Tina: Go to hell.

Lorne: OK, let's go for comedy then. While you're doing the press conference, she comes up and takes over the podium...

Tina: ...no...

Lorne:...and she pushes you out of the way...

Tina: ...no...

Lorne:...and you push back...

Tina:...No...

Lorne: ...And there's a scuffle at the podium - you knock it down....then the moose comes out...

Tina...no...

Lorne: ...And then the three of you grapple with each other and fall into he mosh pit of reporters....Todd walks out with a shotgun and starts firing...

Tina:...no...

Lorne: 'Course it's a fake shot gun. HA HA! Darrell walks out as McCain and he grabs the gun...

Tina: [Calmly] What part of no don't you understand?

Lorne: Then how about you and Marky Mark come up to the podium...

Tina: Don't you see what I've done? I've humanized her, given her comic dimensions, made her a real person, maybe added a few votes, and helped the campaign. If McCain/Palin wins, then I can take some of the blame and it'll all be on my shoulders - I can never go to a party again in this town, never, never look in the mirror again. I'll be forever the woman who got Palin elected, and if she becomes president then I can take some credit for that too, and I may as well just throw myself out the window now. In fact, I won't do that because if McCain wins, I'm leaving earth. Really. I'm gone. The next shuttle. I'm outta here. This is the worst hell imaginable, the worst possible hell - that somehow, deep in my DNA, there was something that would make me look and sound like this woman...and I am now forever HER. Why did this ever happen to me. Lorne, you've turned me into Dana Carvey - forever Bush. Oh God, how did this happen...

Lorne [not listening]: And then you and Marky Mark fight with her over the microphone, and then all three of you say "Live from New York..'"

Tina: Lorne, you're not listening to me. I can always tell when you're not listening to me. I hate the woman. I despise her and everything she stands for. Enough. this is it. No more Palin. I'm through, forever...

Lorne: Better yet, Marky Mark hugs Palin and you get jealous and say, hey, howabout ME pal...

Tina: Lorne, goodbye. See ya...

Lorne: And then...

Tina: [Eyes widen, in horror] I know what this is leading to. I know exactly what you want..the cameo on "30 Rock." For chrissakes, Lorne, that's where this is leading. A cameo on "30 Rock." That's why you wanted me to re-shoot the second episode. That's why you had that woman over there yesterday, and you said all along it was just a little tour of the set, and that's why Alec's here tonight..

Lorne: Tina, please. There's another Emmy here, and it's just a quick scene. Tracy's selling his new porn video game, and Palin walks by and he asks her if she'd like to take a look and Liz Lemmon walks in, and...

Tina: What's Mars like this time of year? Jupiter, Pluto...

(Pix: Reuters)

Hey, one of the cultural TV events of our time takes place - Sarah Palin on "SNL" - and you gotta blog, right?

Anyway...very funny open. A classic. And I suppose just one quibble on reflection: Why did the two - you know "who" two- never actually meet on camera, thus squandering a a photo op for the ages, and maybe some natural comic material as well? How comic? Words would not even have to be spoken - just the juxtaposition of those two side by side would say it all.

Whatever. Sarah Sixpack's "SNL" appearances were brief but memorable - the two clips below will get you up to water cooler speed. Tina/Sarah opens with that fake press conference. And, a few yards away on 8H, Sarah/Tina stands next to Lorne (and calls him Lauren - perfect!). Alec Baldwin sidles up, confuses Sixpack for Tina/Sarah (it's OK, everyone's confused) and then wonders how Lorne can let Tina go near that "horrible woman..."

Sarah tells Alec that it's OK - her favorite Baldwin is Stephen anyway. The funniest line of the night, by the way.

Lorne informs Alec that this is the real Palin, and Alec - with flawless thespian timing -says, "you're MUCH hotter in person."

Palin? A good sport, and does a perfect job of saying "Live from New York..." If this election thingo doesn't work out, she's got a future here in Sin City.

Sixpack's next moment? She turns up at the tail-end of "Weekend Update," and tells Seth Meyers, "thanks for the chance but I'm not going to do the piece we rehearsed [in retrospect, the second funniest line of the night]. It was really fun but my gut is telling me it's a bad idea for the campaign..." Fortunately, Amy Poehler remembers the bit - a nice hip-hop number with lines likes "when I say Obama, you say Ayres, I say Obama, you say Ayers..."

Also: "you mother-humpin' moose..."

Song ends, Sixpack ends her "SNL" career with the line, "I'm Sarah Palin - good night and have a pleasant tomorrow..."

(Hey...wait a second: If you you're reading this, then I'm probably making you miss "SNL," which I very much doubt, and I also very much doubt any one is reading this instead of watching "SNL"...This blogging business is very silly, don't you think?)

Plus, Wahlberg and Oliver Stone appearances two minutes in. Our cup runeth way over.

Plus...Samberg and Wahlberg finally hug it out (and prove my theory that this animal whispering business really was an elaborate stunt to get a nice plug for Wahlberg's new movie, called...ah...um...whatever it is.)

Grade: A -

And...the Palin rap!

Here's a pretty good clip of tonight's "Late Show with Dave" appearance of Tina Fey. I wish I could actually GIVE you the clip, but CBS - lovable control freaks that they are - refuse to give out the embed code so that we TV blogger types are forced to direct you to their Web site.

So be it. Leave TV Zone now. Click on this clip. It's pretty funny, and well worth the four minutes it takes to watch.

Oh forget all this business about Sarah Sixpack on "SNL" tomorrow night...

In it's effort to go for broke...to throw that hail Mary pass into the end zone (whatever)...to be the MOST IMPORTANT SHOW ON TELEVISION..."SNL" will have Mark Wahlberg on tomorrow night, too.

And, apparently, he is going to b**** slap Andy Samberg.

Andy, take tomorrow night off.

This blog post is, by Internets standards, old news to Wahlberg fans, but (hey, I don't even know how to spell "Internets). This morning's New York Mag "Culture Vulture" broke this sensational news AND spoke to Marky Mark:

"Everywhere I go, someone asks me about [the Oct. 4 "Talking to the Animals" skit] and I say something different every time. It depends on whether I want to be serious or sarcastic...I wasn't unhappy with it. It's just that after seeing the Tina Fey–Sarah Palin thing you were kind of hoping for something on that level. That's legendary. But they actually called and asked me if I would do something on the show this weekend, but I can’t stay until Saturday, so maybe we’ll film something in L.A. Lorne Michaels called [my agent] Ari [Emmanuel] and asked him. So, you know, maybe. We’ll have to do something funny this time around."

NY Mag asked, Will he be talking to farm animals? "No, we’ll have to think of something funny to do." Ba-dum.

If you haven't seen the "Talking to Animals" then - please, don't take this as an insult - you are the only person on the planet armed with a computer and Internets connection who hasn't. MM has been genuinely annoyed about the thing - and I still don't understand the point of talking with animals, but Samberg's got the guy dead to center. MM has threatened physical violence.

Seriously, I think this whole thing is a hoax to get people to that movie that MM's starring in - can't think of its name, nor can hundreds of millions of other movie goers. MM must be close personal friends with Lorne Michaels who knows personal stuff about MM, such as the fact that he talks to donkeys.

Here are the two clips you need to watch to get up to speed - first, the animal skit, and the second, last night's "Kimmel" appearance.

Ah, modern American culture...

Yes, the strangest moment - the moment where I scratched my head, said "whaaa..." and figured that I needed to have my hearing checked.

It came toward that part where Dave Letterman was haranguing ... errr, questioning John McCain over his choice of Sarah Palin as veep. Dave was wondering what sort of qualifications she had, if any. And here's what Mc said:

"Look, in all due respect, one of the people I admire most was an obscure governor of a Southern state called Arkansas. And he turned out to be a fairly successful president. I mean, Ronald Reagan was a cowboy – no experience in international affairs. Look, I think she has shown leadership. I think she’s shown executive ability. And I think she has shown a degree of reform that we need – does anyone think we don’t need to clean up the mess in Washington?"

OK, have you found the Waldo in this quote? Sure you have, and here it is:

"I mean, Ronald Reagan was a cowboy..."

Now, I can't profess to know everything about Ronald Reagan, but I'm almost certain that his resume never included the word "cowboy." He was the governor of California. An actor, too.

But cowboy?

Dave was so caught up in his prosecution that he forgot the most obvious follow-up of them all.

"What do you mean, 'cowboy?'"

And continuing with our new feature here at TV Zone, we've got "catching up with the day's news" - that quickie digest that gives you everything you need to know about the medium you love, in 10 seconds or less. And away we go...

Palin a Go on "SNL." Yup, Sen. John McCain finally confirmed what has long been expected on last night's "Late Show with DL" - that she'll go on the show, maybe even this week. "I think she is, yeah," said he. "Probably get more of an audience than our debate did."

Debate Seen by 56.5 million. Just in case you're wondering how many people DID watch the other night. That was the official tally from Nielsen, just released. Here's what Nielsen says: The debate was "carried live on ABC, CBS, NBC, Univision, BBC-America, CNBC, CNN, FOX News Channel, MSNBC and MUN2 and on tape delay on Telemundo. The sum of debate audience on these 11 networks was 56,523,000. FOX broadcast network did not carry the debate because of the Major League Baseball League Championship Series."

Glenn Beck joining Fox News. What!? you say. He's not already there? No, it just seems like these two were made for each other. He leaves CNN Headline News for FNC, where he'll anchor a 5 p.m. show in the spring.

"30 Rock" up a week early for TV Guide subscribers. Yeah, this streaming video is an oddball arrangement, but looks like it'll take care of fans who are bugged by the fact that the TV version is so long in coming ("Rock" premieres the night before Halloween). In next week's issue, Guide'll give readers some sort of download code they can use on iTunes to get the show. For free? Not sure.

"Mad Men" back for third season. Lotsa noise on whether it'll be back, which you can attribute to that word "posturing." Matthew Weiner's looking for a raise, and AMC is probably not looking to give one out, so spec (as raised this morning in the NY Post) is that it could head either to HBO or Showtime. But that seems unlikely because Variety is reporting that AMC has now picked up the third season option, though still no firm deal for Weiner. My seasoned hunch: That'll happen eventually, too.

Palin finally sits down with Bri Williams. Finally! The Mc/Palin interview will air next Wednesay and Thursday on "Nightly." Brian is the third and last of the major Big Three anchors to get Palin.

The gift that should keep on giving for at least a few more days - before he gets REALLY old - is Joe the Plumber, and that was the loci and foci of last night's opener of "SNL Weekend Update Thursday." An amusing opener, indeed, with some funny lines, and if you missed, let's just say Joe the P has now been reduced to imaginary friend who wields a magic plunger. Take it away...

What did I think of the McCain-Letterman make-up?

More importantly, what do YOU think? Go to the jump for the full transcript, plus the Top Ten; yeah, you can see much of this on tomorrow's morning shows, but if you prefer to read -- and who doesn't! -- here you go. My thanks to CBS's incredibly hardworking and always gracious "Letterman" crew, including Lana Kim and Tom Keaney for this ... Letterman, as always, surrounds himself with great people.

What did I think? It was merely OK; Dave's a good interviewer, and a smart one, but my overwhelming impression is that the questions he tossed at McCain -- the Palin ones anyway -- felt old, or "old," as in "two weeks old." All this harangue about "Is Palin Qualified?"

GET OVER IT, DAVE!

Of course she's not.

It was like he picked up the question list he had written out two weeks ago, when it was semirelevant, and then asked the questions that every pundit in the universe had chewed over so relentlessly that any answer at this point is plausible, or simply boring. Dave was stuck in a time warp - as if he had been transported back two or three weeks when "Is Palin Qualified?" was actually a vital question.

He should have asked Mc this: "You are shockingly behind in the polls, and need to pretty much win every state to win both the electoral college vote AND the presidency. How, pray tell, do you intend to do this? "

Or: Can you beat both the economy AND Obama?

I could go on, but I won't. David Letterman is a serious and highly intelligent guy, but I felt like tonight he was off his game, off his timing, and off his immediacy. I was disappointed -- if only because I hold him to such a high standard.

So, ho hum.

Anyway, read the transcript. (Or watch the clip.) It's blistering, and his passion is evident. You can make up your own minds...

(Photo: John Paul Filo/CBS, via Reuters, but it's not from last night...)

Continue reading "Letterman and McCain: Ho Hum" »

Here's some sad news and yet another reminder that time, and life, passes very quickly. Edie Adams has died.

Edie Adams: A member of one of the great shows in TV history ("Ernie Kovacs Show"). She won a Tony for her Daisy Mae on Broadway - in "L'il Abner" - though millions may best remember her as the beauty who sold Muriel cigars.

I don't remember the Kovacs show - which profoundly influenced David Letterman - but I do, vaguely, distantly, remember those Muriel ads. To me - a mere babe - Edie Adams was impossibly beautiful, a heartbreaker with whom I fell head-over-heels in love. And only in first grade was I.

Fortunately, never took up cigars, but when I hear that name - Edie Adams - a distant and happy memory is invoked.

Another one of the greats is gone.

Now, two quick clips. The first, for you young 'uns, is a clip of the old "What's My Line?" which was a hugely popular show in the '50s, in which celebrities would come on, and the blind-folded celebrity panel would try to guess who they were. There's a funny punchline here, and I'm afraid I'll have to telegraph it a little bit: Adams did a famous impression of Marilyn Monroe on "Kovacs;" (Ernie, her husband, died in a car accident in the early '60s; he's sitting next to her.)

Next, the Muriel ad, with a Stan Getz track no less.

"Yoo hoo Dave! It's Me! Sixpack! Gonna help ya get ratings!!! You betcha!!!"

Faithful readers (I love all fifteen of you!) know that yesterday I idly mused about the possibility of Sarah Sixpack Palin turning up tonight on ""Late Show with Dave." I lay out all the reasons why this may happen, and rather than repeat myself, here's the link.

But viewers last night learned that - yes! - Palin may come after all.

Anyway, during cross-talk with Paul last night, here's what ol' Dave had to say:

Dave: [McCain's] got a lot of explaining to do. So that’ll be fun. And he also…he also hinted when I talked to him on the phone, that maybe he’d be bringing Sarah Palin. We know that’s not gonna happen.

Paul Schaeffer: Was that a hint or was that more of a campaign promise?

Dave: I think he was trying to make me feel better. Like, “oh, I know we’ve got the hook in Letterman now. Let me just…” But I don’t think she’ll be here. Miss Alaska will probably not be here.

Paul: That would be nice if she came though.

Dave: Are you kidding me? How great would that be?

Paul: To have the two of them. That’s really the only way I think that he could make up for what he owes you. Because didn’t he say to you…wasn’t it something like, “Maybe when I come back, I’ll bring Sarah Palin?”

Say, it ain't so. ANOTHER Joe?

This Joe, I swear, is Michael Chiklis. And if he's not Michael Chiklis, he should be Michael Chiklis. And what timing: The finale of "The Shield" is just a few weeks away. Amazing, and my congratulations to FX.

"Vic, when you're done covering up murders, doing crack (guess you don't do that anymore) or pursuing your generally corrupt ways, would you mind dropping by - I've got a hell of a problem with my sink."

But enough with Vic. Here's my question. As a candidate for the president of the United States, when you come to Long Island, and Hempstead, no less, and make the focal point of the entire last televised debate about a plumber named Joe (Wurzelbacher, from somewhere out in that wilderness known as "Ohio"), don't you think you should at least find a plumber named Joe in, say, Hempstead?

Ok, let's assume there's no Joe the Plumber in Hempstead. Go crazy - see if you can find one in Uniondale, or maybe Garden City. There MUST be a Joe in Franklin Square. There is a Joseph Bruno Plumbing in Ronkonkoma, though I guess "Joseph the Plumber" doesn't have quite that TV pizazz that "Joe the Plumber" does. To get a real honest to goodness Joe the Plumber, you've gotta go all the way to Haverstraw, for Joe's Plumbing & Heating. I'm sure Joe's getting a lot of calls today, none of the them related to snaking the bathroom drain.

OK, let's say you can't find a Joe in Uniondale. There's Joe D. Plumbing in Williston Park. There's Joe's Trucking in New Hyde Park. What's the matter with Joe the Trucker? There's Joe the Golf Caddie in Westbury - though I guess a discussion of golf scores during a presidential debate doesn't work quite as well as plumbing. There's Joe Moran's Painting and Wall Paper Hanging in Cedarhurst. There is Joe Ludwig Plumbing & Heating in Babylon. But I doubt this Joe wants to be known as "Joe th