The TV Zone

Here are the five things I learned from watching the very first episode of "Saturday Night Live," which NBC aired this weekend as a tribute to the show's host, George Carlin.

1. John Belushi played a character who lived in Mattituck in a semi-funny skit about a TV show called "Victims of Shark Bites" (isn't that show on NBC's fall schedule for this September?)

2. During a filmed segment called "Show Us Your Guns," the camera briefly panned to a gas station where a gallon cost... 67 cents! And I remember being really annoyed back then that gas could get so high.

3. The very first Bee segment, "Bee Hospital," may have been historic, but it wasn't all that funny.

4. Too many of these people are no longer with us: Carlin, Belushi, Gilda Radner, guest singer Billy Preston, writer Michael O'Donoghue, guest Andy Kaufman.

5. Announcer Don Pardo, however may be 112, but he's still with us. And he really did call the show's ensemble The Not For Ready Primetime Players.

This may be huge news in Scranton, but it's news to me: "The Office Games" will take in the queen city of the Lackawanna valley on July 19. It's billed as a "full day of Dunder Mifflin style fun," and will be hosted by Kelly Kapoor, otherwise known as someone named Mindy Kaling.

Now, if this all sounds suspiciously (to you) like a publicity stunt to advertise a new "Office" board and DVD game, then your suspicion is well-founded.

Here's the full-day sched:

9:00 a.m. – 2K Fun Run [Wear your favorite office attire! Prizes for best dressed, best character look-a-likes and fastest.]

10:30 a.m. – "The Office" Trivia Challenge [Are you an "Assistant to the Regional Manager" or the "Regional Manager" when it comes to "The Office" trivia? The Challenge will feature questions from "The Office" Trivia Game.]

12:00 p.m. – Beet Eating Contest [Straight from Dwight's farm...well, after being canned.]

1:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. – Autograph Session [The first 125 customers who purchase "The Office" DVD Board Game or "The Office" Trivia Game at Boscov's at The Mall at Steamtown in Scranton, PA, on July 19 will be able meet Mindy Kaling and have her autograph their game.]

In a canned quote, Kelly said: "I have been to Scranton before and am really excited to return for this fun event!"

And...in "Office" casting news: NBC did just now formally confirm a batch of trade reports this ayem, that Amy Ryan will be back in season 5 to reprise her Holly Flax role. She'll be on board for "multiple" episodes. Is this a surprise? Hardly! She was great and the last we saw of her, she was driving off with Kevin, whom she believed to be retarded...

You heard about this spin-off/another-surefire-way-to-exploit-"HSM" reality show based on "High School Musical?" It's called “High School Musical: Get in the Picture.” Hosted by Nick Lachey, it's one of those comp series that's looking for the country's most talented teens, etc. Winner won't necessarily get a spot in "HSM III" or "IV" but they will get noticed and get noticed on primetime tv; bows July 20.

In any event, the show will be at Jones Beach on July 5, this Saturday, and Sunday at Robert Moses. Bring your talent and bring your sunscreen.

Press release details: The show will go to to "beaches on both coasts with branded ice cream trucks offering games and prizes. Beach goers will be able to cool off with free ice cream at East and West Coast locations over the 4th of July weekend and on additional dates leading up to the premiere of the show.

"In addition, visitors can win prizes including Kmart gift cards, t-shirts, DVDs and soundtracks, and participate in various games and events, including karaoke, a trivia wheel and a green screen photo booth -- so you can literally 'Get in the Picture' of 'High School Musical.'”

It'll be at parking lot 4 at JB, and Field 5 at RMB.

(Photo: Oooooh! It's Nick...yoohoo, NICK, over here!!! Pix by Gerardo Mora / Getty Images.)

(JC by Stefano Paltera)

Jesus will star in the AMC remake of "The Prisoner," the network announced a few minutes ago. Oh, and Gandalf too.

Heck of a cast, wouldn't you say?

The much-touted, etc. six-part mini which'll air sometime next year, is based - as you are richly aware - on the '67 classic starring Patrick McGoohan. As you also recall, Mac played a secret service agent who decided to retire and go on a long-deserved vacation. He was kidnapped and put in a place called the Village and assigned a number ("6") and was constantly being bothered by the Village boss (Number "2") and wanted (of course) to escape but Number "1" (the real boss) always thwarted him. And so on. It was a great show, or so I'm told. If he had been around at the time, this probably woulda been a Kafka's favorite, too.

Caviezel will play No."6," while Ian McKellen is "2."

“Bill Gallagher’s [series writer] new version of The Prisoner is an enthralling commentary on modern culture. It is witty, intelligent and disturbing. I am very excited to be involved,” said McKellen.

"Jim Caviezel and Ian McKellen bring an incredible level of talent to the project, and we’re honored they are taking on these important roles. We look forward to this production revitalizing a classic and bringing Patrick McGoohan’s brilliant and captivating story to an entirely new generation of viewers,” said AMC bossman Charlie Collier.

(Photo: I love this shot of Caviezel - taken by Stefano Paltera - during "The Passion of the Christ" days. Don't you?)

This...?????

Or....this???????

Or, too much of THIS???????

Do they allow drinking during the Emmy judging panel sessions? You know - with bottles of Grey Goose, or maybe just Popov, set up conveniently, and prominently, around the table? How else to explain what seems to be going on in Beverly Hills right now, with the Emmy judges passing judgment on the dramas that will be selected for distinction this September?

I was amused, then appalled, by this report from Goldderby.com, that reliable Emmy watcher hosted and run by Tom O'Neil. This morning from the battlefield front lines, Tom writes:

"So far Gold Derby has received two trusty spy reports from Emmy judges who participated in the voting panels conducted on Saturday at the TV academy and the Beverly Hilton Hotel. Both agree that four shows have an excellent chance to be nominated for best drama series: 'Boston Legal,' 'Damages,' 'House' and 'Mad Men.' However, the judges differ radically on what the fifth show may be plus disagree on general reax to submissions by 'The Wire,' 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Lost.'"

"Differ radically?"

Are they drunk?

Or insane?

How can anyone - seriously - sit around a table and "differ radically" over whether "Wire" or "Lost" is better or worse than "Grey's Anatomy?" This - after they just ushered "Boston Legal" into the final round?

As always, I'm jumping to conclusions. Tom's spies may have been the ones tipping from the Popov jug, and got all this wrong. When the finalists are announced mid-July, we will see "Wire," "Lost," "Mad Men," "House," and "Damages" (though I still think "Friday Night Lights" shoulda/coulda been a finalist...)

We'll see. But this is Emmy, and...

The Screen Actors Guild contract is up, oh, just about twelve hours from now, and to many in Hollywood and beyond, that moment represents - or has represented - D Minute, when thousands of SAG-repped thesps storm the Studio's bastille and, by so doing, halt the production of hundreds of shows from sea to sea. And following weeks of a standoff - not to mention an internecine battle now underway between SAG and AFTRA - a strike seemed closer to a certainty than not just last week.

But suddenly, all's looking well, for the moment at least. In a statement to the press yesterday, SAG boss said a strike isn't going to happen right now. This may have been an attempt to take the PR high-ground from the studios which could - theoretically - lock out the actors tomorrow morning. The theory is that a hardball move like this would force actors to take a contract, but a lockout also seems inconceivable because that shuts down the industry once again, just months after the crippling writers' action ended. For producers, that's called cutting off your nose to spite your face.

“We have taken no steps to initiate a strike-authorization vote by the members of Screen Actors Guild,” said Alan Rosenberg, who's been waging a rear-guard action against AFTRA to sink its proposed contract. “Any talk about a strike or a management lockout at this point is simply a distraction. The Screen Actors Guild national negotiating committee is coming to the bargaining table every day in good faith to negotiate a fair contract for actors.”

What happens next? Everyone waits til next Monday to see if AFTRA members support or reject their new contract. If the smaller union rejects - unlikely but one never knows - then that gives SAG more power at the bargaining table, but also gives the studios another reason for a lock-out.

What do I think will happen? Glad you asked. AFTRA passes, SAG ultimately gets a new deal, and everyone lives happily ever after, or for two years, after which point everyone - writers AND actors - go on strike together and force some genuinely meaningful concessions from the studios.

(Photo: Genaro Molina of the Los Angeles Times. Are we about to see repeats like this one already?!)

After years of Emmy ignominy, "The Wire" appears poised to get a Best Drama Emmy nomination when awards are announced July 17.

How do we know this? Because in an unusual move, the Emmys Thursday night announced drama and comedy finalists, or -- as Emmy put it -- the "top ten vote-getters." The so-called blue-ribbon panel screenings of these vote-getters takes place on June 28 and 29. Then? I'll let Emmy explain: "The results of those panels, who will watch and judge the work of each finalist, represent 50 percent of the vote. Both results will be averaged together to come up with our five nominees in each category . . ."

But I'm burying my lede. You are dying to find out what the other shows are. Dying . . . and I'm delaying here, or to use a fancy word, temporizing, just to build the excitement, anticipation, thrills.

Oh, for Chrissakes, Gay, will you please open the damn envelop.

Without further temporizing, dear friends, herewith the list -- ta dum. (Quickie analysis to follow.)

Top 10 Comedy Series Finalists

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
The Office
Pushing Daisies
30 Rock
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Weeds

Top 10 Drama Series Finalists

Boston Legal
Damages
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Grey’s Anatomy
House
Lost
Mad Men
The Tudors
The Wire

Quickie analysis

Comedies: No "Desperate Housewives" in comedy? After a pretty good season? This crop looks strong, but I'm befuddled by "Family Guy;" I must be missing something but after 20 years, the greatest show in TV history, "Simpsons", couldn't crack this list because it was animated, and had to settle for that silly and insignificant "animated" category. Why does "FG" earn a bye here? Meanwhile, glad to see "Weeds" which deserved to be here before (but you know Emmy!) and absolutely thrilled to see "Californication" is not. Thanks God, this isn't the Golden Globes. What should be on the final list? "Weeds," "Rock," "Men," "Conchords," "Office."

Dramas: What sticks outta this list like a broken thumb (swollen to 10 times its size?) You are correct, sir / madame! "Grey's," which belongs on this about as much as "One Tree Hill;" in fact, "Hill" has more right to be here than "Grey's," which had a stinky season. (Just ask Kate Heigl!) Of course my heart is gladdened by the fact that "Lost" is here. What should be on the final list? "The Wire," "Mad Men," "Lost," "Friday Night Lights" (hmmmm), and "Damages."

Bob Keeshan, who played Captain Kangaroo for 29 years (1955-84), would have been 81 today.

The entertainer, a Long Island resident for most of his life, died on Jan. 23, 2004.

I still have one burning question, which maybe somebody out there can answer: Did Captain Kangaroo have a first name?

Meanwhile, here's the classic opener from the show, a melody that will undoubtedly continue playing in your head all day.

In case you can't get enough "Camp Rock." (And you know who you are...)

You can watch and sing-along with a special edition of the Disney Channel movie Saturday at 8 p.m. in which song lyrics will be visible on screen.

And if you haven't memorized those lyrics yet -- and shame on you, if you haven't -- lyric sheets are also available here. The special will be hosted by the movie's stars: Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Nick Jonas, Demi Lovato, Alyson Stoner, Meaghan Jette Martin and Anna Maria Perez de Tagle.

And if you haven't seen it yet: check out Newsday's video of Demi performing earlier this week at the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale here.

OK, I guess it's getting near the end of the day and we all need a good laugh, or something. Anyway, one of my many astute readers (thanks, Rob Shapiro!) reminded me the other day about the time "Saturday Night Live" did a classic bit on a Japanese game show, and now that ABC's new summer time-filler, "I Survived A Japanese Game Show" looks like a modest break-out hit, it's as good a time as any to revive that old "SNL" chestnut. It starred Chris Farley and Mike Myers (and check out a very young and somewhat attenuated Alec Baldwin.) If you've got seven minutes to spare, check it out here - hilarious BUT maybe not quite appropriate for eyes under the age of fourteen or so...

Chris Noth, who's been as tied to TV's longest-running drama just about as long as white has been tied to rice, is leaving "L&O: Criminal Intent" at the end of this season. His last episode will air Aug. 24. And...here's the second part of this big news: He'll be replaced by Jeff Goldblum.

No official word on why, but "money" or "better career options" or "new creative directions" are usually cited (or not cited, as the case my be.) Also, Mr. Big did just star in a major motion picture that was a major success, and when that happens, the small tube almost always seems like a paler career option than the silver screen.

Here's Dick Wolf's statement, and - I can't be sure here - but I think he dusted off pretty much the same statement he used the last time Noth split:

"Chris has been a member of the 'Law and Order' family since the beginning, and Mike Logan is one of the most popular detectives in the history of television. We all wish him well."

As you know..."CI" only airs on USA (season ends in late August) and NBC hasn't made a decision yet whether to repurpose on the big network. The Goldblum "CI" will begin airing in fall of '08.

Noth's history with "L&O" dates allllll the way back to '90, when he was an original castmember; left five years later, signed on to a little show called "Sex and the City," then bootlegged it back to "L&O:CI" in (I believe) 2005. Goldblum? He's done plenty 'o TV, and most recently headlined "Raines" - a smart detective show for NBC.

For of you sitting by your calender with a pencil in hand waiting for me to post the CBS fall season premiere dates, so you can plan your vacation and work schedules accordingly, wait no more! I have it all here. The dates. Most of 'em are in late September - same as always:

Thursday, Sept. 18

8:00-9:00 PM SURVIVOR (17th Installment Premiere)

Monday, Sept. 22

8:00-8:30 PM THE BIG BANG THEORY (2nd Season Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (4th Season Premiere)
9:00-9:30 PM TWO AND A HALF MEN (6th Season Premiere)
9:30-10:00 PM WORST WEEK (Series Debut)
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: MIAMI (7th Season Premiere)

Tuesday, Sept. 23

8:00-9:00 PM NCIS (6th Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM THE MENTALIST (Series Debut)
10:00-11:00 PM WITHOUT A TRACE (7th Season Premiere)

Wednesday, Sept. 24

8:00-8:30 PM THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
(4th Season Premiere)
8:30-9:00 PM PROJECT GARY (Series Debut)
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMINAL MINDS (4th Season Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: NY (5th Season Premiere)

Saturday, Sept. 27

8:00-9:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 PM 48 HOURS MYSTERY (Season Premiere)

Sunday, Sept. 28

7:00-8:00 PM 60 MINUTES (41st Season Premiere)
8:00-9:00 PM THE AMAZING RACE (13th Edition)
9:00-10:00 PM COLD CASE (6th Season Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM THE UNIT (4th Season Premiere)

Friday, Oct. 3

8:00-9:00 PM GHOST WHISPERER (4th Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM THE EX LIST (Series Premiere)
10:00-11:00 PM NUMB3RS (5th Season Premiere)

(Above: JLH, star of "GW," returning Oct. 3)

What it's about: Those of us who struggle to pay our gas bill always look wistfully to the day when we can pay said bill, but tonight at 10, CNBC takes us into a world where something as picayune as $4.55 per gallon is as momentous as a molecule on a mote of dust on a mite's middle toe.

The world of super duper rich.

This hour begins with a Rolls show, and ends with the stark screen graphic that tells us the average salary is $26,323, but the 400 richest Americans are worth a total $214 billion which is more than the GNP of 149 nations. "Super Rich" is filled with such stats, and after a while they'll drift away from your plain of consciousness, as if they are just more numbers in a sea, nay, universe, of grandiose figures and outsize bank-rolls. Forty-nine thousand households have net worths of between $50 and $500 mill, and 125,000 between $25 and $50 mill. In 1985, there were 13 billionaires from sea to shining sea; now there are more than a thousand.

Millionaires are the mere middle class rich and barely merit inclusion here; this is the rarefied world of wealth, where a billion is a nice pile of peanuts, but you're only really interesting when your pile is up to ten billion. The show - narrated by vet CNBC reporter, David Faber - profiles many of these people and - my suggestion - bring your sunglasses because every one of them seems to have a taste for gold lame.

There's Tim Durham, who confides that it costs 23 grand to change a tire on his Bugatti (he's got 70 cars scattered about, each one worth more than your house, twice over...). There's Glenn Stearns, a poor kid from Maryland now worth - I think I heard the program right - $100 billion. Maybe $100 million. Whatever. There's Anthony Scaramucci, of Manhasset worth only $80 million; he seems like he's almost a pauper in this crowd. These are people who go on vacation to places like Parrot Cay (above) where a lousy room costs two grand a day. Many make their lucre from hedge funds, and in fact, it seems like most do.

Bottom line: David Faber is one of the best financial reporters on TV, maybe the best, as far as I can tell, so you start out with the assumption that this will be a well-told hour that's richly - pun absolutely intended - reported. It is. But like all pornography, wealth pornography starts to wear thin after a while, no matter how skillful or thoughtful the treatment. Faber and his producers, it seems to me, do just about everything right: They offer perspective, talk to the right people (including Ron Chernow, the National Book Award-winning author and biographer of J.P. Morgan), ask the right questions, and provide the requisite beauty shots. But still something is missing, and that is opinion. A subject like this, at a time like this, absolutely demands a moral, or ethical, perspective, which can be summed up in one question: Is such wealth RIGHT? Or does it represent a serious failing on the part of a nation where so very many are struggling each and every minute? Hedge funds? Only the most excoriated financial instrument since Teapot Dome, but most of these people seem to have earned their money this new-fashioned way, by profiting off of others' misfortunes. Is that right? I'm not sure, but I think a question is merited. Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich, in his Harvard days, used to rail against the paper millionaires who didn't actually make anything. Do THESE people? And if they don't, isn't there a question to be asked, to wit: Is this kind of wealth and iniquity good for the longterm health of the economy and the country?

This hour is fascinating - but I do wish it would have taken another hour to go deeper, and hit harder.

Poor Lara Logan: Dodges bullets in Iraq but wakes up this morning to see that a missile in the form of the New York Post is headed straight for her. No dodging this one.

I was thinking: What would the Post do if it got hold of any gossip about a Keith Olbermann sex scandal? I'm guessing: Ten page wrap-around special section, running a couple days at least, and accompanying 24-hour coverage on Fox News, along with a special edition of "The Factor" chewing over this momentous question: Should Keith do Time?

In any event, the Post didn't even break this. It was all over the National Enquirer yesterday.Here's the link to the story. I haven't the energy or interest to even relay the details, other than to say that I'm shocked, shocked, that this sort of thing takes place. As readers know, Logan's out of Iraq and now stationed in D.C., where she's the new national affairs correspondent for CBS News.

We have right here, right now, the the information you've been waiting breathlessly for...Or maybe not. The "Idol" audition dates: They start in a few weeks at the Cow Palace, but the whole process wraps late July at the Izod Center. Here are all the dates just in case, oh, you find yourself in Louisville with nothing to do on July 21...

What's especially interesting about this list? San Juan, of course. That's a first, and an interesting first. While "AI's" had Latino contestants over the years - and of course Bridgeport's own Syesha Mercado qualifies, wouldn't you say? - there really haven't been that many. In fact, the vast Latino community could argue that "American Idol" has sort of ignored it, and with ratings down, that's not a good thing. So, on to San Juan...

The list:

San Francisco, CA Thursday, July 17 Cow Palace

Louisville, KY Monday, July 21 Freedom Hall

Phoenix, AZ Friday, July 25 Jobing.com Arena

Salt Lake City, UT Tuesday, July 29 EnergySolutions Arena

San Juan, Puerto Rico Saturday, Aug. 2 Coliseo de Puerto Rico

Kansas City, MO Friday, Aug. 8 Sprint Center

Jacksonville, FL Wednesday, Aug. 13 Veterans Memorial Arena

East Rutherford, NJ Tuesday, Aug. 19 IZOD Center at the Meadowlands Sports Complex

OK, OK, don't get too excited just yet, but...NBC did confirm to me last night that the great Michael Strahan will appear next season on "Chuck," though let's call this a "cameo," and likely a one-time-only cameo at that. Begs the question: Is "Stomp them Out" Mike launching a new career with this? The Star-Ledger first had this yesterday and didn't quite go there, but I imagine this to be one of this situations where a producer is a huge Giants fan and...you know the rest of the drill. I'm also promised a screen grab a little later today (I hope.) Will post as soon as I get it. (And...PS: Strahan will join Fox Sports, which you can read about elsewhere on our wonderful website. Still waiting for those "Chuck" pix...)

Rich people are different from you and me - they got money! (Ba dum...) And they got money to spend on stuff that I can't imagine spending it on. Case in point: Today's Christie's auction, wrapped a little while ago, in which a few dozen Tony Soprano et al costumes, clothes, shirts, pants, and other generally assorted wearable things, were sold for $187,800.

What went for the highest price, by FAR? Tony's blood-stained shirt and pants - the ones he was wearing when Uncle June came down the stairs in a fit of insane dementia, shot him and left him for dead, setting up that great multi-episode dream sequence where (among many other things) Tone was slapped around by monks at an elevator. This went for $43,800. If the cleaning person had washed off the clothes after this memorable scene, it probably woulda gone for $500.

That would be essere fottuto.

Don't you agree?

Got me to thinking: What would Pussy's talking fish head have gone for? (It wasn't on the block.) Those funky statues in Melfi's office? The fridge in the Soprano's kitchen? (An empty orange juice carton, proven to have been drained by Tony himself?) The newspapers in Tony's driveway?

My point: There are billions to be made here.

Here's the Christie's site with the full list. A hoot worth checking out.

Do you know who Lara Logan is? You should - she's a heckuva courageous reporter for CBS News who has done stand-out work for the network from Iraq and Afghanistan for years. (She's also a former South African model whom some at CBS News initially viewed with considerable suspicion because they assumed she was just another pretty face, which, of course, she wasn't...) She's leaving Iraq, and has just been named the network's chief foreign affairs correspondent. Will be based in D.C.

“Lara is among the most talented and respected journalists in our industry,” said CBS News boss Sean McManus. “She is extraordinarily determined and courageous, but never fails to see and report the human side of conflict, including some of the most horrific stories of our time. Lara’s deep and varied experience around the world over the past 17 years positions her remarkably well for covering this expanded beat, which she will handle with the same fervor and dedication that our viewers have come to expect.” She joined CBS six years ago.

Interesting aside: on a recent "Daily Show" appearance, she was harshly critical of U.S. TV's - and by association, CBS's - dramatic reduction of news from Iraq. She joked - or was this a joke? - about having to point an RPG at her news bosses to force them to air her stuff...

The greatest singer in "Idol" history - whom voters, due to their innocence and tone-deafness, declined to crown a couple seasons ago - was on "Today" this morning. This was an interesting and entirely unexpected appearance by MD, insofar as she's been MIA, and - small world alert - she is actually the COUSIN of the young lady who got hitched on this morning's wedding edition (LaDonna.) Before serenading the newlyweds, MD told Ann Curry that she'll finally have an album out this fall, and essentially apologized to fans for taking so long. A couple of weeks ago, MTV News, offered this backgrounder on MD:

"Aside from doing some commercials for Zaxby’s, a chain of casual restaurants that operates primarily in the Southeastern United States, Doolittle traveled the country this year, promoting 'Idol'-branded Edy’s ice-cream flavors at Wal-Mart and supermarkets.Apparently, she’s recording an album as I write this that should be out by fall - just in time for you to forget who she is."

Ouch. True perhaps, but I'll ALWAYS remember as MD as the Great One... I don't, BTW, believe I'm the only one.

This is interesting and though a couple days old, maybe it's news to you (it was to me.) There's an interview with forthcoming "24" star, Robert Carlyle in Matt Meuller's blog for Premiere.com, in which the Scottish actor says the November prequel will actually be the first two hours of the day, and that when the season picks up in January, we'll jump straight to the third hour

Interesting...and presumably true...because that represents a sharp break with "24" tradition, in which each hour of the day airs in consecutive weeks (I do believe that was one of the original reasons for the January start-date over the years, so Fox could run the hours consecutively through May sweeps.)

Here's what "Full Monty" Carlyle told Meuller at the Edinburgh International Film Festival.

Where were you shooting in South Africa?
We were in the Stellenbosch region, the wine country. It was doubling for jungle in the fictional country of Sangala.

Who's your character in 24?
My character's called Carl Benton who is Jack Bauer's best buddy and he hasn't seen him for 10 years or something. Jack's on his travels and he comes to see Carl and hang out with him and potentially change his life. Maybe...

Is the movie sticking to the TV show's real-time format?
It is. This two hours is two hours in real time and there'll then be 22 episodes. I don't know how they connect it to the first of those 22 episodes but it's literally the third hour...

So it will lead straight into the new series?
Yeah.

Here's a unique tribute from "SNL," just announced: The classic, which BEGAN 33 years ago with a classic edition featuring George Carlin, will re-air that episode in its entirety this weekend. Carlin "SNL" clips have been all over the web this morning - thanks to that special site that NBC set up yesterday - but Lord knows it'd be nice to see the whole thing in its glorious entirety, which featured a long Carlin monologue and opener featuring the famous "I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines" bit with Belushi (for some reason, my fading memory misinfomed me yesterday morning that Carlin was in the opening sketch but a vigilant reader reminded me that it was Michael O'Donoghue...)

Here's the press release from "SNL:"

"Typifying the show's 'of-the-moment' sensibility that would continue throughout its over thirty-year history, Carlin was brought in as the first host of the groundbreaking comedy show. Carlin performed three individual monologues on the program that also introduced audiences to the now legendary 'Not Ready For Prime-Time Players' – Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris, Larraine Newman and Gilda Radner.The 1975 episode also features musical guests Janis Ian and Billy Preston as well as a landmark performance from comedian Andy Kaufman."

And here's Lorne's quote, distributed to the press yesterday:

"You never forget the people who were there at the beginning. George Carlin helped give 'Saturday Night Live' its start as our first host. He was gracious, fearless, and most important of all, funny."

(Above picture: Stolen, errr, borrowed from USA Today.)

I don't know how I missed this this morning, but the ever-vigilant TVTattle.com picked this up for the rest of the world to see, and because I'm overwhelmed with the spirit of sharing, here it is again...It features Daddy Dearest saying that all that stuff about him controlling Archie, and abusing other contestants, and arguing with the "AI" staff, and provoking Simon (which isn't very hard), and forcing his son to sing a song that no one on the planet has ever heard, and generally being a horse's ass....is completely BOGUS.

I knew it all along. You know how the media is (curse us) - always making things up to sell newspapers. Oh, wait...this isn't newspaper, it's a blog. Still...Daddy Dearest was equipped with a mike during this morning's "View" from Las Vegas. Here's what he had to say...

Get ready for more "Camp Rock."


Are you surprised? Disney Channel is wasting no time working on a sequel to the Jonas Brothers TV movie, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

The trade paper says the channel hopes to go into production on a sequel in late spring or summer 2009, pending a script that's in development as well as the cast members' busy schedules.

All of the principal cast -- including Joe, Kevin and Nick Jonas as well as Demi Lovato -- are expected to return. The Jonases and Lovato, who are touring together this summer, also are working on their respective Disney Channel series, "J.O.N.A.S." and "Welcome to Mollywood."

There's so much more to say about George Carlin that it seems like a few little blog posts here and there, a Newsday appreciation by yours truly here, and a bounty of other tributes everywhere else seems almost insignificant.

So this morning, I have some more. First, my last word about "Seven Words." It was a routine that (for many) came to symbolize TV's rapid descent into vulgarity and coarseness. However, it's also well worth nothing that what Carlin did was to make a comment on the fact that the descent was already well under way; the point of the routine was that TV was already soaked in most of the words (notably the f-bomb) that he mentioned, but that the ever-hypocritical boob tube trafficked in euphemisms for those various words and acts. You couldn't say these words on TV -- merely demonstrate them. The point was about hypocrisy and remains valid today.

Now ... NBC set up a special site yesterday so that you can check out his entire monologue from the October '75 premiere of "SNL"; snippets of it are available in lotsa places, notably Hulu, but you get the full monologue here. What's notable about it, besides it being the first monologue on the most influential show in television history? In part, you can see exactly how deeply Seinfeld was affected by this guy. (Jerry, BTW, headlined a terrific and generous "Larry King Live" last night, which also had Roseanne Barr, Bill Maher and Lewis Black.)

Another benefit: You can see Carlin as adroit performer. We usually just seem to mention those words but forget this other aspect. Here's a quick clip, but if you want to see the whole thing, please go to the special NBC site ...

Well, ya just never know where the tributes are gonna come from on a day like this, but CNBC is the absolute last place on the planet you'd expect to see a George Carlin one -- seeing that he would have considered this network an illicit tool of the capitalist bastards (can you say that word in a blog...? Will check with the FCC and get back to you). Darren Rovell offered this up a little while ago. It's amusing AND square at the same time...

Said Rovell, "If George Carlin ever did this skit on CNBC, we're pretty sure these are the words he'd tell us we couldn't say on the network...

Long straddle
Taking a long position in both a put and a call option.

Horizontal merger
A merger involving two or more firms in the same industry.

Tenbagger
A stock that grows in value tenfold.

Crack Spread
The differential between the price of crude oil and petroleum products extracted from it.

Bulge bracket
A tier of firms in an underwriting syndicate that have the highest participation level.

Asset stripper
A corporate raider that takes over a target company in order to sell large assets to repay debt.

Back-end load fund
A mutual fund that charges investors a fee to sell shares.

No one comedian has been associated with HBO over the years than the late George Carlin -- he starred in 14 specials from 1977 to 2008.

So it's not surprising that the pay-cabler is going all-out to pay tribute to Carlin. From Wednesday through Friday, HBO and HBO2 will air these memorable specials:

Wednesday on HBO2
8 p.m. On Location: George Carlin at USC (1977)
9:30 p.m. George Carlin Again! (1978)
11 p.m. Carlin at Carnegie (1983)
Midnight Carlin on Campus (1984)
1 a.m. George Carlin: Playin With Your head (1986)

Thursday on HBO2
8 p.m. George Carlin: What Am I Doin’ in New Jersey? (1988)
9 p.m. HBO Comedy Hour: George Carlin – Doin’ It Again (1990)
10 p.m. HBO Comedy Hour: George Carlin: Jammin in New York (1992)
11 p.m. HBO Comedy Hour: George Carlin: Back in Town (1996)
12:05 a.m. HBO Comedy Hour: George Carlin: You Are All Diseased (1999)
1:10 a.m. George Carlin: It’s Bad for Ya’ (2008)

Friday on HBO
9 p.m. George Carlin: It’s Bad for Ya ( 2008)

First, Jimmy Kimmel...now, "Nightline:" the ABC News program will give itself over to Ben Affleck this Thursday (11:35), as he charts his travels through the Congo over the last eight months. "NL" producer "Max Culhane and photographer Doug Vogt joined Affleck on his most recent trip to document his journey as he made his way through refugee camps, hospitals, clinics, meetings with warlords, relief workers, child soldiers and members of parliament in an effort to better understand the place where more than 4 million people have died in the deadliest conflict since World War II."

Here's an interesting canned quote from Affleck: "People should see actors on television doing charitable work and be suspicious of that and at the end of watching this I hope they find themselves less suspicious of that and more interested in this and perhaps involved in it.”

The amazing thing about George Carlin - dead yesterday at the age of 71 - was how profoundly he impacted the medium of television and how profoundly it avoided him, as though he were a plague in ponytail. His early Fox show was perfect Fox, in its early iteration - iconoclastic but safe enough for the airwaves. Carlin certainly couldn't last long with a straitjacket like this on, and I do believe the show lasted only one season

Carlin - as you are also aware - was the VERY FIRST host of "Saturday Night Live." The very first, which is sort of like an act of consecration - three words that have never been applied to Carlin. Ever. (Desecration? Yes...) If memory serves, Carlin was in the first sketch and expired on-stage of a coronary. No comment...[So much for my lousy memory. Check out Eric's comment below. He points out that this wasn't Carlin in that sketch, but the great Michael O'Donoghue, who was Carlin's doppelganger, in certain respects. Without O'Donoghue and his lacerating humor so similar to Carliln's, there would be no "SNL." Thanks, Eric.]

In any event, the Web is full of Carliniana, as you might well imagine. Thousands of clips, including those of his famous HBO appearances. You can find snippets of the early "Tonight" ones with Carson, and many of his later scorched-earth appearances - on concert hall stages, not on TV. His later TV stuff, in fact - best I can tell - is not outstanding. From what I've sampled this morning, he was not what we call a "revelatory" interview, anxious to share with whomever what made him tick. There is - alas - no "Oprah" appearance. That may have something to do with his standoffish relationship with a medium that he quite literally shaped (the seven words you can't say on TV; remember?) It may have to do with the fact that he was selling something when he did these infrequent interviews (a boxed set of something or other.) He was complicit in the corporate selling machine in those moments, and perhaps knew it... A recent interview with Olbermann was interesting, but fawning - a mutual admiration society encounter.

So...I must go all the way back to '97, when Carlin did this memorable interview with David Letterman. It's seven minutes long and the quality of the clip is horrific, but it's a nice snap-shot of Middle-to-Late Period Carlin: Caustic, as always, but funny and no seven deadly words:

Tom Brokaw, the last of the major anchors who symbolized the dominance of the Big Three networks news divisions for over two decades, is about the assume the last great ride of his distinguished career: NBC has named him moderator of "Meet the Press."

The post is effectively a temporary one - he'll hold down the job that Tim Russert came to represent during his 17-year reign before his death at age 58 a little over a week ago through inauguration, NBC announced. At that point the network will name - in all likelihood - a permanent successor. Of course, if Brokaw's ratings soar....

I suggested this scenario on Monday, thinking of seven solid reasons why Brokaw should be named the replacement, until at least inauguration. Here's the link, and scroll up if you want to see what I had to say, or check out these comments. They're fascinating and informed, and readers didn't exactly stand and salute my suggestion. I suspect they reflect a little of the dialogue that went on internally at NBC during this last painful week. Nevertheless, Brokaw is absolutely the best person for this job. NBC News - and really, the entire industry - is lucky to have him.

Here's the press release, just over an hour old:

"Beginning on Sunday, June 29, NBC News' Tom Brokaw will serve as moderator of "Meet the Press" through the 2008 presidential election. The broadcast will continue to originate from the NBC News Bureau in Washington D.C. The announcement was made today by NBC News President Steve Capus.

"A lot has been said in recent days about what 'Meet the Press' means to NBC News and to the nation," said Capus. "To have someone of Tom's stature step up and dedicate himself to ensuring its ongoing success is not only a testament to his loyalty to Tim, but his enduring commitment to NBC News and our viewers."

"Some of my best memories from covering the last several presidential elections have included working closely with Tom, so I know just how lucky we are to have him step in as moderator for 'Meet the Press,'" said executive producer Betsy Fischer. "His intellect, focus and calming presence is exactly what we need to move forward smartly and remain the No. 1 public affairs show on television as we head into one of the most pivotal elections in our nation's history."

For his part, Brokaw said, "I've been appearing on 'Meet the Press' since the days of Watergate when it was moderated by Lawrence E. Spivak right through the distinguished tenure of my great friend, Tim Russert, so I feel right at home. Tim made 'Meet the Press' the center of the universe for informative and lively discussions of public affairs, particularly the exciting 2008 campaign for president, and I intend to continue that commitment to our viewers."

Betsy Fischer is the executive producer and Michelle Jaconi and Rebecca Samuels are the producers of "Meet the Press," which is seen on the NBC Television Network from 9-10 a.m. ET in most markets. In Washington D.C. and New York City, the broadcast is seen from 10:30-11:30 a.m. ET. Please check local listings or the "Meet the Press" website www.mtp.msnbc.com) for television and radio broadcast times in your area.

(Photo: Andy Ryan / Corbis for Time Most Influential)

Yeah, Ellen D won best daytime talker last night at the Daytime E's. Ho and hum. Pretty sure that's like the 38th win in that category for her. Actually the fourth, but I've given up counting. (I suppose this makes her the anti-Lucci.) Anyway, here's the clips (and thanks to Lunaae11 for posting so darn promptly...):

Almost a week to the minute that the world learned that Tim Russert had died, and the daily business of TV and the media has already descended into low comedy. If you haven't checked out last night's Keith Olbermann denunciation of that "Page Six" report - that he was battling with Chris Matthews for the "Meet the Press" job sorta like Beast and Militia are battling for this season's "American Gladiator" crown - then you must! It's Keith in full rhetorical high dudgeon, WITH an Australian accent. (Note to Keith - quite funny, but you sound more like Robin Leach than Rupert Murdoch...)

Anyway, even deep-seated cynic that I am, I believe Olbermann on this one. CAN YOU IMAGINE??!! Threatening to quit (as "Page Six" had it) if he didn't get the gig? (But then, "Page Six" is usually reasonably accurate, so...) He claimed last night that he had no qualifications for the job, which is certainly true. However, I point you to Peter Boyer's fascinating profile of Keith in this week's New Yorker. It reported that CBS "executives met with Olbermann twice about the prospect of his becoming anchor of "CBS Evening News'" when it was looking to replace Dan, and before settling on KC.

So: They obviously felt Keith had the "qualification" to be anchor of "Evening News," and Keith, by meeting with them twice, either believed HE had the qualifications as well, or was anxious to hear from these executives why THEY believed he was qualified (when he believed he was not.) One, or the other. No third option.

In any case, I think Keith woulda done well to ignore the "Page Six" report altogether. It's only been a week, a mere week, and some things are better left unsaid.

What would Dumb Dora think?

TBS previously announced it will be reviving the great game show "The Match Game" and today they've announced the panelists who will slide into Charles Nelson Reilly and Brett Somers' chairs.

They include Sarah Silverman, Norm MacDonald, Super Dave Osborne (Bob Einstein), Kids in the Hall trouper Scott Thompson, Rashida Jones (“The
Office”) and Niecy Nash (“Reno 911!”).

Andrew Daly (“Semi-Pro”) will be the host. We can only hope he has the sense to bring back Gene Rayburn's iconic stick microphone?.

The original is still run on GSN, so today's viewers can familiarize themselves with panelists Nipsey Russell, Betty White and Richard Dawson to their heart's content.

.

It's been a long time since we saw "Hogan's Heroes" on the tube.

But thanks to TV Land -- in an apparent fit of sanity or at least a nod to its Classic TV roots -- is bringing back the WW II POW comedy with a July 6th marathon from 6 a.m.-9 p.m.

"HH" was incredibly politically incorrect even in its day (1965-71) , so we're wondering what it must seem like today.

Here's a rarity: the cast of "Hogan's Heroes" in a commercial for Jell-O (served at the finest POW camps in the world, no doubt).

This is my humble little reminder to TV fans young and old (and in between) that tonight is the night when Regis Philbin finally scores his Lifetime Achievement Award at the Daytime Emmys - from the Kodak Theater in LA, on ABC at 8.

I can't think of a single human anywhere who more richly deserves this honor, and perhaps my only quibble is that Reeg deserves a Lifetime primetime Achievement as well - although I suppose the haughty pooh-bahs who run the Academy figure that a mere game show host should not qualify.

Naturally, I disagree. Here's a line (or two) they could even borrow when they finally see the error of their ways, and confer this award as well: "Regis Philbin is one of the greats of this business, who's made it richer, better, smarter, and funnier simply by being who he is. All of television - daytime and primetime - has benefited immeasurably from his generous and bountiful spirit. Along with Johnny Carson, and Oprah Winfrey, there is simply no one who has performed the art of talking on television as long or as well as Regis Philbin."

Go get 'em, Reeg.

Here's a reasonably big piece o' news that I just got an official confirmation on: Janet Jackson will host and produce one of those music reality comps for MTV. (Variety first had the story this morning and says it'll help kick off JJ's world tour which begins Sept. 10.)

In any event, I just spoke with Dave Broome - yes, he's also the show boss of "The Biggest Loser" - and he told me much more. But first: The show, still untitled, will have a casting call in New York on July 5 and 6, in Manhattan at the Sheraton on 7th and 53rd. Auditions are 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on the 5th, and then call-backs will take place on the 6th.

Here's what Dave says about Jackson's new show: "She seeded the idea [and] it's 'how do you find that super star - the Janet Jackson, the Usher, Justin Timberlake, that one person who can do it all, sing dance, and act, and has that one superstar ability....If I were looking for a logline, it'd be 'from the street to the superstar,' or how do you find that person in the local community, at the local Y, or gym, who's never gotten a chance or doesn't have the means to take a singing lesson. It's a very 'to the people' street feel.

"If you have to sing from the rooftop of a car...that's the type of challenge we're going to end up doing. It's going to feel very cool and gritty, with a real cool street vibe, and every challenge will have a different backdrop."

It'll be shot in L.A.

Janet?

"She's a mentor in the series, helping critique and pick and select and offer advice to each one of these potential candidates...tell you what you're doing right and doing wrong, and [will help] select [the winner.]"

Airdate? This fall.

Yeah, that was a hell of a memorial for Tim Russert yesterday. Beautiful AND moving, and whenever deeply heartfelt memorials like this roll around, you almost instinctively remember that great Yeats line, "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." In Russert's case, substitute the word "friends" for "a son" (see the clip above, if you haven't aready) and it's even more poignant.

(And considering Russert's age at death, 58, another famous line from the Irish bard also comes to mind - "Life is a long preparation for something that never happens." )

In any event...All of this week I've been thinking about Russert and sifting the many many impressions of the man I've collected over the years - not all of them positive, but no need to get into that. Powerful men in television, you will be surprised to learn, are not saints. Russert was, however, entirely uniquely, and at this point I think I'll throw this blog post over to a profile of Russert that ran in the Washington Post almost exactly 20 years ago (1989) under the by-line of Lloyd Grove. It took me a while to find this piece, but thanks to Newsday's spectacular library staff, they finally located it (even Nexis, for some reason, hasn't had it for years.) To my mind, Grove's piece was a landmark profile of an already legendary guy - only 38, gunning for the presidency of NBC News, and re-making the Washington bureau, which badly needed remaking.

I can't run this whole piece because the Post would sue me, and may still sue me for running these excerpts. (Lord, I hope not. I can't even pay for gas...) But read them and laugh or learn. Grove is a wonderful writer, and this is a glimpse at the pre-"Meet the Press" Russert, as well as a fully human glimpse. I begin with the top of the piece, and other outtakes follow. Take it away, Lloyd:

"Tim Russert grows thoughtful as he considers a pressing problem of contemporary journalism -- namely, a profile of himself.

"It's a hard piece," he says in a commiserative tone. "I don't know how to make it interesting."

But that, he is reassured, is not his worry.

"I know, but I think about it," says the new Washington bureau chief of NBC News, who arrived 2 1/2 months ago determined to make a splash. "If you step back in the abstract," he muses, and then proposes a plot line.It's a story, he suggests with a clinical air, about "this guy who, having worked in politics and tried to make his mark, is now making his mark in news."

Eureka. He smiles. "I guess there's enough there."

The moment reveals Russert as a highly developed hybrid in the mediapolitical hothouse. It's a display of disarming fellowship, winsome modesty -- and, of course, naked spin control. The total effect is synergistic, and all but irresistible.

He has an ample, open, Hibernian face, which looks almost delicate in the throes of cogitation, and a beefy six-foot frame. He was an altar boy back in South Buffalo, where he was a favorite of Jesuit fathers and Democratic ward bosses before leaving to work for New York's senior senator, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, and its governor, Mario Cuomo. Now, at 38, a favorite of corporate brass, he slouches before the secular altar of four glowing screens.

"I actually took a standardized test one time in college," he says. "It came out that -- it was ironic -- I was qualified to be an archbishop, a governor or a media mogul."

During one of three audiences in his Nebraska Avenue office -- but only on quiet Saturdays, he insists, because "I won't use my people as props" -- his son Luke, 3 1/2, plays at his feet, doodling on a pad.

"Who do you watch on the news at night?" Russert asks.

"Bryant and Jane," Luke replies.

"Who do you watch at night?"

"Tom," the boy ventures, giggling.

"What's his full name? Tom Russert? Noooo!"

Luke laughs, and the visitor suggests that NBC News is doing badly among 3- to 5-year-olds.

"No, he's got it," Russert snaps, and turns to plead with his son. "Who do you watch at night? Tom who? Come on."

But Luke only smiles.

* * *

"In an age of shrinking network viewership, exploding star salaries and bitter competition, Russert is the state-of-the-art television news executive. Like CBS News President David Burke, who also served a Democratic senator (Ted Kennedy) and a New York governor (Hugh Carey), he's a shrewd political operator. Like ABC News President Roone Arledge, the wizard of "Wide World of Sports," he's a natural showman. Unlike them, he is not head honcho -- a circumstance he's hoping to change.

After 4 1/2 years at the network, he's here from New York -- with the title of senior vice president, a base salary around $250,000 and a company-leased house cum swimming pool on Foxhall Road -- to prove his mettle as a manager and TV journalist, while keeping his hand in other issues confronting the news division, such as the chronic third-place showing of "NBC Nightly News With Tom Brokaw." His three-year mission: to shake some life into the Washington bureau and to position himself for the presidency of NBC News.

"People say, 'Would you like someday to be president of NBC News?' " Russert says unshyly. "The answer is yes."

* * *

"He is a molder of reputations, not least his own -- "the immortal part of myself," as the Bard said, "and what remains is bestial." What remained for Russert, in the weeks before his arrival, was to remove a seemingly small annoyance caused by a Dec. 14 story in Variety about executive changes at NBC. "The shift sidetracks Timothy J. Russert," Variety asserted, contrary to reports in a host of other publications that he was being "groomed."

Russert was outraged...

In a meeting with NBC's corporate communications department, he charged news division publicist Mary Lou O'Callahan with disloyalty, claiming she'd told the wrathful Variety reporter that Russert had "leaked" the details of his new job.O'Callahan denied it, but agreed to resign, capping a 12-year career at NBC.

Russert bridles at the suggestion that the affair betrays a vindictive streak. "Vindictive?" he says meekly, composing his features into a wounded smile. "That's not me. I've heard 'charming.' I've heard 'affable' ...'Vindictive' is new."

* * *

"Politics is really a very large part of their lives down there," [Daniel Patrick] Moynihan says. "And Tim was a young man with more education than he let on. You don't tell people in South Buffalo that you've been to college and gone to law school."

"He wasn't no bookworm," says Russert's father "Big" Tim, who provided for his family by working two jobs -- as a truck driver for The Buffalo News and as a sanitation foreman for the city streets department -- and encouraged the same industriousness in his son and three daughters. Russert, at various times, lifted garbage on a sanitation crew, made pizza to go, painted the yellow lines on a parking lot and still found the energy to lead the local Catholic Youth Organization.

"The buttons on my vest were always popping," his father says. "He was never no trouble to me ... I think I taught him about being sincere and honest in what you do. And don't look down on anybody when you're going up, because it's awful hard to come back down when you're passing those guys that you hurt on the way up."

Now, now - I can hear you all out there, snickering: "So this is what it's come to, Mere. 'Lipstick Jungle?'" In any event, one of the great actresses in TV history is joining this drama. Or dramedy. The news just went out. Here are the press-release-embellished details:

"Television icon and seven-time Emmy Award winner Mary Tyler Moore will guest-star on NBC's drama 'Lipstick Jungle' (Wednesdays, 10-11 p.m. ET) in a multi-episode arc starting in the season premiere on Wednesday, September 24.

"Moore will play Joyce, a retired high-powered exec who forces Wendy (Brooke Shields), her studio-head daughter, to re-evaluate the work vs. family dilemma. Having blazed a trail for working women back in the 1970s and 1980s, Joyce challenges Wendy's idealistic notion of 'having it all' -- leaving her overachieving daughter in a tailspin.

"'I'm fortunate to have had a front row seat to the evolution of working women on television,'" said Moore. 'It's been great fun to watch the strong female characters of 'Lipstick Jungle' go at it week after week. I absolutely adore Brooke and I'm delighted to be a part of a show which is so well written."

And by the way, this isn't that unusual a move for MTM: A few years back she even did a cameo on "That '70s Show" and has done a TV series here and a TV series there over the last couple decades, but nothing substantial. This feels like one of her meatier roles of late and should help the show, without question.

The Presumptive Nominee is a happy man right about now. He's fist-bumping whoever he's coming into contact with. He's thinking, "maybe I should make MICHELLE the vice president - hey, Hill was veep to Bill during two terms..." He's thinking, "what did Whoopi just say...Oh, it doesn't matter." He's thinking, "man, that dress was expensive but it was worth every PENNY." He's thinking, "behind every successful man, there's a woman...No, I better NOT think that. That's sexist as all get out. Hill would take me to town on that one...doesn't matter, she's not running anymore. Or is she...?"

Of course, I have no idea what the Presumptive Nominee is thinking. I only know what I am thinking: Michelle Obama's appearance on "The View" was a political slam dunk - a performance so adroit and so skillful and so savvy that the political attack dogs out there are writhing in agony. "Why couldn't SHE have said &%$*&@! instead of Whoopi," they're saying. "Why, why, WHHHYYY!!!???"

You know, I'm pretty certain (but, being a seat of the pants sort of blogger, not 100 percent certain) that millions of people suspect Michelle Obama is a Theresa Heinz type - the sort of significant o who just can't HELP but say something that will turn a hundred million Americans against her with just one verbal slip - or as Freud might say, a " lapsus linguae" that'll tell people what's really going on in her sub-conscious.

I'm no Freud, but her sub-conscious seems to match her conscious pretty nicely, if this outing was any indication. She was funny, smart, interesting and - most important - likeable. She even said nice and remarkably disarming stuff about Laura Bush. Michelle O - you don't mind if I call you "Michelle O," do you Michelle? - was seated in the middle of our kaffee klatch crew, and joked immediately (again, shrewdly) about the bump: "It's my signature bump," and Whoopi comes back with a good ice breaker (not that there was any ice to break) with, "you should be really happy it's not a chest bump."

Michelle O got all the hard questions almost before the first commercial break, which - from her perspective - is exactly when and where she wanted them.

How does she feel about all the attacks that have started up - the ones about her patriotism, etc? (Our "View" gals didn't dignify the ludicrous "whitey" slur with a question, to their great credit.)

"I take them in stride. It's part of the process. Of course I'm proud of my country. No where but in America could my story be possible. I'm a girl that grew up on the South Side of Chicago; my father was a working class guy who worked a shift all his life, and got two children through Princeton. He's now the coach of Oregon State - go Beavers! I tell people just imagine the pride that parents who didn't go to college felt through their own hard work to have us achieve the things they couldn't imagine. So I'm proud of my country without a doubt."

Now you may be as cynical as me, and think - "well, what do you expect her to say?" - to which I'd answer: I actually think she's being sincere.

Joy asked her the Hill/sexism question, as in - do you think that Hill was subjected to it during the campaign? Said Michelle O, "yes, people aren't used to strong women and at times we don't even know how to talk about them, so yes, and there were elements of racism that will go on [too.] I think Hillary Clinton has said she's created 18 million cracks in the ceiling and we need to keep pushing on it and keep pushing...so that when my girls come along they won't have to feel it as badly."

Masterful response. Notice the first use of "we," as if to suggest that even SHE might be complicit in this whole sexism thing.

Next up, Babs asked the 'ol "should Hill be veep?" question.

Michelle O stepped up to the plate, squared away, and saw a big fat pitch come right down the middle - without ANY heat or motion - connected, and sent that sucker right into the parking lot:

"My answer, and people have asked me this before, is that the one thing that a nominee earns is a right to pick the vice president that they think will best reflect their vision for the country. And I'm just glad I will have nothing to do with it."

Oh, you're good, Michelle O. You're very good.

(Above: AP photo.)

Fascinating edition of "The View" - and in ways, as usual, that you may not expect. We'll get to Michelle O in the next post, but unless my hearing is going, Whoopi just said the "S" word on "The View." Said Whoops, to Michelle, "that's your stock in s ----."

No beep. Just the pure unvarnished old English epithet.

You GO, girl.

And a few minutes before, Whoops spilled coffee all over her lap. At least she didn't spill it in O's lap.

Anyway, I'm trafficking in trivialities, which I do so very often. In the next post, you will get my pure unvarnished opinion of O's appearance. Hint: This is a huge win for the Presumptive Nominee.

By the way, "View" spokesman Karl Nilsson tells me I'm full of...ummm...You know what I'm full of. He denies the word was said - claiming it would have been beeped if she had said it. "I just watched the tape," says he. " Whoopi DOES NOT say that's your stock in [ummmm, you know the word.] She says you have a stocking issue...referring to Barbara."

Now I ask you, reader: Why would Babs have a "stocking issue?" And what IS a "stocking issue." I still like what I heard, or believe I heard: "Stock in...[umm, you know the word.]"

(This is the sort of stuff that I love about "The View" - hearing discrepancies...)

Consider this a friendly little reminder: The Presumptive Nominee's Significant Other will be a guest host on "The View" this morning. It's a big deal, no a huge deal, for both show and the PNSO because news will most definitely come outta this AND it's all part of Michelle Obama's coming out party, as she starts to let the rest of the world know who she is and as she maybe remakes herself a little bit (this is politics, after all.) We'll be back later for a fuller look at the big guest hosting moment.

Well, here we go again. Another season of "America's Got Talent."

Just to write those three words - and then think of the prospect of David Hasselhoff passing judgment (along with Sharon Osbourne) on anything or anyone, and the sight of some seriously sad wannabes up there on the stage, causing viewers of sounder mind and body to wonder about their sanity and the tolerance of American television, particularly NBC, to put up anything on the screen these days - sends a cruel chill up my spine.

But whatever. I'll live.

Show's back (tonight at 9), and surprise! It's the same. No change. Some bad stuff. Some amusing stuff. (Check out the dude who dances with a trombone!) Some scary stuff (Romanian twins.) Some good stuff (the violin brothers...) Someone'll win. Fourteen or so million people will watch. The Republic will endure.

Here's a quick pointer about tonight's open, however. You will hear someone, maybe Piers Morgan - another reality TV champ - or maybe Jerry Springer, say that last season's winner, Terry Fator, scored a "$100 million deal, making him the most successful reality show contestant in HISTORY!!!!"

$100 million (over five years?) That's gotta be bogus, you say. And you may be right, or... Terry Fator did indeed get a deal to perform at the Mirage (which will even name a theater for him) a few weeks ago. The source of this sensational information? Robin Leach, who - you will correctly observe - is not exactly Bob Woodward.

In any event, here's the headline. It could be true. I took out my calculator - a dangerous habit - and figured that Terry would have to sell out his theater every night (1,265 seats) at a minimum of sixty bucks per seat. Usual coverage charge at the Mirage? Ray Romano, for example, is getting $121. So this huge deal is, indeed, possible (though you will also correctly observe that Terry Fator is not exactly Ray Romano...)

Go get 'em, Terry...

BTW, here's Terry on "Ellen" last fall...

I got some reaction to a post yesterday about why Tom Brokaw would be the best person on the planet to replace Tim Russert on "Meet the Press," and - as usual - much of it proved why the bloggees are better informed than the blogger. (That's not an observation I plan to share any time soon with my bosses.)

However ... I still strongly believe Brokaw's the best guy, but as a temporary measure only. Let this transition work out over the next seven, eight months. Have stand-ins stand-in for Brokaw ... get a sense of who's most comfortable there ... and groom the new man or woman slowly and carefully, just as NBC - flawlessly, in my opinion - groomed Brian Williams. There should be no rush here, no panic; only a deliberative, intelligent process.

Meanwhile, allow me to address two candidates whose names came up. These are the two likely front-runners and probably should be. First, Gwen Ifill. She's familiar with the show, been there/done that dozens of times, knows Washington intimately, has great credibility, is a first-rate journalist.

Only one significant problem: She's already got a job, as host of "Washington Week." One does not stand up and walk out on a gig like this simply because something else beckons, even if it IS "MTP."

Next, David Gregory. Let me be perfectly clear, my friends. Even though yon David has a lean and hungry look, he's very good. He's not a pleasant Harvey milquetoast guy, and heaven knows, local TV (and all of TV) has enough of those already. Yeah, he won't win any popularity contests in the newsroom and I hear D.C. waitresses have joined into a secret pact to mix up his orders from now on ... but this ISN'T a popularity contest.

Now, if you're still with me, watch this clip, and then I'll offer my final observation. (It's grainy and old, but the only one I could find of this famous encounter, so sorry about that) ...

OK, that's it! That's what I like best about David Gregory. He told this windbag of a press secretary - who sounded like a manure salesman with a mouth full of samples - that he just wanted a yes or no answer. Instead, what does said windbag do? Go out and write a book and tell the world what a lousy president we've got and that as press secretary he spun fabulous tales and fallacious fibs.

Gregory knew this, and just wanted a yes or no answer. I like the guy's spirit, like his drive, like his bull-in-china-shop bedside manners, like his evident anger, like his passion (even though I'm not entirely certain I like HIM.)

Still: Brokaw for the transition period.

When the second season of "Damages" - which bowed last summer to positive reviews, to put it mildly - begins shooting in NYC next week, there'll be a new face hanging 'round the set. William Hurt has joined up, per FX, which made the announcement yesterday (sorry for the late post but I was dodging lightning bolts last night and 'ol Bill Hurt was the last thing on my mind.) Anyway...yes, an amazing casting coup, great actor, fine ensemble, etc. etc. Also: This is Hurt's first TV series in a very long time. (Although that does seem hard to believe.) He's done a mini here and there (like "Dune") and actually launched his career via the tube, on - are you ready for this? - "Kojak." Per FX, he'll be a client of Glenn Close's Patty Hewes, and they knew each before in some mysterious way. I'm not sure when "Damages" returns to the FX lineup but as soon as I get an answer, you'll be the second to know, me being the first. (I'm assuming a January start-date at this point.)

One of the catchiest songs of all time, The Dixie Cups' "Chapel of Love" topped the charts this week in 1964, a three-week American break in between British chart-toppers "Love Me Do" and.""A World Without Love."

By the way, I hated this song as a kid because it was so "girly" and "mushy," but I got my act together by the time I got married, using this song on my answering machine in the month leading up to my nups.

Tom Brokaw, the next moderator of "Meet the Press?"

Yes, the next moderator. As always, NBC News is luckiest news division - despite what happened last Friday just before 2 p.m. - simply by virtue of having Brokaw on its payroll. Once again, duty calls and if I know Brokaw, and I think I do, he'll answer that call as he's done so many times before.

There are so many reasons why Tom Brokaw should be the next moderator of "Meet the Press" - at least on what might be called a "transitional basis" - that the best way to lay them out is a list, so here goes.

1.) Soothing for viewers AND the network: The death of Tim Russert is, like any death, disruptive, but this one was profoundly so. Russert manned this program for seventeen years and manned it brilliantly. He WAS the face of Sunday morning, to a large degree, and WAS the face of NBC's political coverage. As a result, NBC needs a new face that is also profoundly familiar and trusted. There's only one at NBC which comes to mind.

2.) Brokaw knows the territory. He, like Russert, is an encyclopedia of political fact and trivia, so much so that he's had to bat down rumors for literally decades that he would run for office from home state South Dakota. Moreover, Brokaw has worked by Russert's side, on-screen and off, for nearly twenty-five years. No one knows the rhythm of this coverage better than Brokaw.

3.) No one else is ready. This is beyond self-evident. Of course, there will be the insta-rumor that Katie Couric is up for the gig, but any whiff of positioning on her part will kill this possibility so quickly that heads will spin. Yes, NBCU topper Jeff Zucker wants her back at NBC, or so I believe, and maybe for a role at MSNBC. Katie wants the 9 p.m. "Live" slot on CNN - that I believe too. Now, "Meet the Press" will be considered almost a certainty too. But she won't be back, if ever, at NBC until next year. NBC needs someone next week. The others? Chris Matthews? Never ready for this job - he's too cable. David Gregory? Smart guy and first-rate interviewer, while his agent would dearly love him to replace Matt Lauer one of these days. I say - as good as he is - the guy's got "trust" issues with viewers who are pretty good at reading faces on the tube. Gregory's not ready for this job, and maybe never. Brian Williams? No. Absolutely, no. Viewers - and NBC staffers - will see it as a part time gig for him, and one to which he will devote neither all his time nor energy. He'll fly down to Washington on Fridays, and back to NYC on Sundays; this schedule would devalue his role at "Nightly," and you can't have that.

4.) He'll answer the call. I think and believe Brokaw will. He'll need assurance, and I'm sure get it, that this is only a temporary measure, say for six months or at most a year. He'll get the assurance too that NBC will offer try-outs to others, so that someone else will be ready to step in the moment he's ready to move aside. He won't want this forever, but maybe he'll grow into it. I've always believed - and still do - that Brokaw needs more work, even though his doc unit keeps him very busy. On some level, one that even he won't admit to, he misses the "Nightly" tonic - the stardom, influence, excitement, rush. Brokaw, meanwhile, is a terrific multi-tasker in the game of life: He can work very hard, and play pretty much the same way. (His idea of "play," of course, is running the rapids in some wild river out west.) This shouldn't be a major pull for him, again if it lasts only through election.

5.) Brokaw will get the bigshots to appear. Sure - you say - anyone would wanna come on "Meet." But what about the other Sunday shows? They compete for guests too, and without a major player at the helm of "MTP," those guests may be more disposed to appearing on ABC or CBS. With the eminence at the helm - that would be Tom - "MTP" will be better positioned to meet this immediate challenge.

6.) Brokaw will be handling much political coverage through November anyway - this will make him both sharper, and give the network more gravitas in the process, much as David Brinkley did for ABC News. So, Tom as anchor of "MTP" through inauguration, and THEN hand-off to someone else.

7.) Finally, Brokaw is the choice that will most completely, and most deeply, honor Russert. Yes, I leave this until last, even though it may be the most important reason of them all. There is only a handful of on-air people left in this business who exemplify the glory of the Big Three network news divisions of decades past. Bob Schieffer is one. Russert was another. And Brokaw is the last. It's a very abbreviated list for the simple reason that the heavyweights are all gone. Even Mike Wallace will likely NEVER appear on the air again. "Meet the Press" is network television's oldest program, born in the half-light of this industry's creation. It crept out of the primordial ooze, so to speak, and became, instantly, a vitally important program in news and politics. Russert intuitively believed that, consciously understood it, and adjusted his professional bearing accordingly to meet that vital role. This is why Russert was so successful, and why the mourning that we now see on NBC's air (and elsewhere) is so genuine. There's only one person who similarly understands "Meet the Press's" role and who can meet it accordingly, and imbue it with the symbolism that it so richly deserves. You know by now who that person is.

Well, Tom. What's your answer?

Tim Russert's personal physician offered an informative debrief of what happened to the "Meet the Press" moderator yesterday just before 2 p.m. In case you missed this last night, here it is again. It's well worth watching for a whole host of reasons, but helps explain why this death was just so sudden - and shocking.

More tributes. Here's Dan on Tim and Diane. Again, nice (and we still can't believe he's gone):

"Tim’s passing is a loss not only to his family and many friends, it is a loss to good journalism and to our country.Tim, first and foremost, was devout in his faith and deeply devoted to
his family. He loved his country with a passion and became a classic example of the ideal American journalist.

Tim had become an important part of our political process. He will be especially missed in this historic presidential election year.Tim Russert was a beacon of quality journalism

At a time when quality journalism is in increasingly short supply, Tim Russert was a leader for what is best in American journalism. He was tough but fair, pulled no punches, played no favorites. As an interviewer, he had few, if any, peers."

And Diane: "No one could see Tim in a room and not smile. He brought so much joy and curiosity and sheer vitality to all our lives. As a journalist, he would set out like a great explorer. You couldn't wait to see what he discovered every day in the new world.

He was a defining American newsman. Love of country, love of family poured through him --onto the screen, into the work, into stories at dinner, into the little chuckle that reminded us ---aren't we lucky to be here in this big life."