So I'm sitting here thinking that the top "Idol" producers now have the show right where they want it. Their truly devious and brilliant plot has unfolded almost PERFECTLY and according to plan. And no one - 'cept for a few million buzz-gnat bloggers - have noticed.
Ah yes, they are saying (gleefully rubbing their hands) we have done it! No more lightweight amatuers in THIS competition - the professionals and nearly-professionals have taken over. Any of THESE will understand how to sell a record, get radio play, work the press, handle promotion, go on tour, and do all the myriad other little things that a pro must do - most importantly make Dr. Evil (Simon Fuller, of Planet 19 Entertainment who's really pulling the strings here) happy.
"Yes, we've done it: We're not gonna get stuck with another Jordin Sparks THIS year! "
The final four are emerging. With the dull Ramiele gone, that leaves Kristy Lee, Brooke and Syesha in the way; but they won't be here long. Oh yeah, sure - Kristy's one of the pro plants this season, but she hasn't quite worked out as we planned (says the "Idol" brain trust to themselves, not rubbing their hands for the moment.) That's OK. She'll be gone soon - if those gnats at votefortheworst.com don't keep getting her back each week. Syesha (they add) has hung around a little longer than planned - but that should be remedied shortly. Yes, she was a clever girl the other night - trying that Whitney Houston song and pretty much pulling it off. Curses! (they say). Why didn't she shatter that high C like a piece of cheap china?
What about that Brooke White (they say)? Another clever one - she's played that cornfed act masterfully, and the suckers have bought it! Aw shucks, lil' ol Brookie - so nice, and sweet. Has made everyone forget - she can't really sing.
They'll all be broomed out shortly, though (Dreadlock Boy too), and by May sweeps, we'll have our four: Archie, Michael, Carly and David. (Yes, David - he's a surprise, isn't he? We certainly didn't count on him - but just like Daughtry, he's a masterful mimic of the pros; we can work with someone THIS smart.)
Yes (they say, rubbing their hands again). We've done it. It's genius - pure geeeenius. Whoever wins the final four should be able to sell some records - even Carly, now that she's had the world's most popular show helping her.
Dr. Evil will veeerrry happy.
[Note to readers: When will we all just realize that "American Idol" isn't about finding the best amateur singer? It's about finding the person who can sell the most records for Sony/BMG, Simon Fuller and all the other license holders of this program?]
Comments (12)
Excellent work Doctor Evil! As long as Arhcie doesn't win all will be right in the world
WHO'S ARCHIE?
WHO'S ARCHIE?
"Archie?"
Ah yes, Archie is Archuleta. I think someone from the LATimes first started calling him Archie and the name just stuck. I simply can't think of him any other way - just Archie.
Oh yes, almost forgot: Dr. Evil calls him "Archie" too.
For those that are calling David Archuleta Archie...you are definitely obnoxious...should we call you LOSERS since you probably have no talents, looks or guts to perform any talents you might think you have? But that is why it is called Jealousy...Go David Archuleta, (no I am not a teenager but a Mom in my 40's who respects young talent with a humble personality and a good role model for some of the LOSERS at that age in this world. Vote for David A...Good luck to all the rest of the AI contestants you are all very talented.
Uh, what about the delightful and def. great Jason Castro??? Dr. Evil seems to be forgetting another great force to be reckoned with.
BINGO! It's not about finding the best unique talent - it's about putting money in the hands of Simon/Nigel/Clive and the rest of their club.
That's why they keep promoting the money makers like Underwood, Daughtry and Clarkson. They've swept their other winners and runner ups(who have more talent than the previous three imo) under the carpet - either because they aren't pulling the in the revenue or they aren't associated with 19E - the talented alumni of Aiken, Studdard, Hicks, Bice, Yamin, Barrino don't get much kudos anymore. That's why I do what I can to support the unsupported.
I hate that show.
I would disagree 100% on Carrie Underwood having less talent than those idol winners "swept under the carpet" If you can be recognized by mainstream music and win the awards Carrie has that's saying something.
Elliott Yamin has returned to the idol stage to perform and 19 doesn't own him, Ruben has the boot song, Bo and Fantasia have both been promoted on the show this year. Taylor won't be acknowledged because he's just an a-hole, regardless of talent - he should learn not to trash the people who gave him the chance.
When did Taylor ever trash AI? Unlike the a**es at AI who all but ignore him, he has always talked positively about the show and the opportunity it provided him.
Taylor has never said anything negative about AI, never, ever. He didn't sign with AI's suite of companies - that's his sin.
Not only is AI failing to include Taylor as a former winner, but it is criticizing him at every opportunity. AI is making an example of Taylor, so that upcoming contestants learn not to cross AI, but to follow the AI path.
Now that ramiele was voted off of AI, we don't like to watch the remaining AI season 7 anymore. this girl though an amateur compared to the other professional contestants, has talent, charisma and good attitude. she should have stayed for more weeks.