Ascend with us, if you will, to the sub-basement of network TV, a locale several floors below the decrepit bargain basement where the nets have been living the past few weeks.
Here you'll find three new "alternative" shows just announced by CBS to fill in the holes. (Alternative to what? Commiting suicide?)
-- "Secret Talents of the Stars" features celebrities competing in a tournament-structured format to determine who has the best hidden talent. So now, we'll be able to see things like William L. Petersen being able to whistle while standing on one leg. (I'm making that up. I think.)
-- "Game Show in My Head" is a hidden camera game show in which contestants wear an earpiece as they go about life in the city and are instructed by the host back in the studio to do stunts. If the contestants can perform these stunts, they'll go home with big money.
-- "America's Top Dog" gives pets the chance to win big money for their owners. By doing what? Whistling while standing on one paw, we presume.
Boy, the air is really fetid down here in TV's sub-basement.