The TV Zone

Arthur Branch is in!

Errr, errr...I mean, FRED - Fred Thompson is in.

Sorry. You'll have to forgive me. The guy that (once) played a CIA director, couple presidents, a rear Admiral (ahhh, "Hunt for Red October"), and of course the late lamented DA on "L&O," is in the race, running for the big one. It's official, and for the best replay of last night's "Tonight" appearance, click on the picture above.

Now, we must separate the role, the many roles, from the candidate.

That will not be easy. Thompson played Branch five seasons on "L&O" and the debate now rages (ok, flickers) as to whether he was a better DA than Steven Hill's Adam Schiff (ten or so seasons.) Schiff, like Branch, was somewhat inscrutable - a saturnine sphinx with an almost invisible sense of humor. Not so Thompson's Branch, who was a cynical son of gun and believed that the world (his world) revolved around elections, and polls, and whether a case would reflect kindly on his chances at the polls during political season. He was also an ideologue, though hardly a rock-ribbed one (yes, conservative, in a Giuliani kind of way.) He wasn't the hardest working dude in the world either; I remember strolling by Branch's desk on one of the "L&O" sets a few years ago and it was arrayed with fishing lures. Yes, Arthur liked his free time.

But what about the rest of Thompson's roles? At this moment, the Department of Dirty Tricks for about a dozen prez campaigns are studying his credits, looking for that embarrassing moment that will be cited in one of their campaign commercials (to begin running, in oh, about ten minutes on the New Hampshire airwaves.) For a quick and lively look at those roles, go to Mo Rocca's analysis of last spring.

I suspect his enemies will make quick work of his season three walk-on at "Sex and the City." He played an uncredited role on the episode entitled, ummmm, "Politically Erect." That one revolved around, ummm, a storyline that, ummm, had to do with (am I allowed to say this in a family-friendly blog?) golden showers.

Let's just call that an anomaly. Most of Thompson's roles were "to character:" The rock-jawed commander of men, who squinted one moment and growled the next (most recently Grant, on "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.)

He would have been a great president on "24," or - better yet - a terrific CTU boss. (James Morrison's Buchanan is milque toast by comparison.) He coulda worked as Warden Pope on "Prison Break," too. Though I'm not too sure about his comedic chops, he might have even made a good Denny Crane on "Boston Legal" - and of course, if he had been on that show, he wouldn't be running for prez now. I woulda liked to have seem him on "Alias," too - Jack Bristow or Arvin Sloane (your call.) And does anyone seriously doubt that "E-Ring" wouldn't still be on the air if Fred hadn't taken the Dennis Hopper role?

In any event, his TV career isn't over if this presidential thing doesn't work out.

Just four words, friends: "Dancing with the Stars."

A series Fred will not be setting his TiVO to anytime soon.