Boy can dance.
After last night, I'm still standing by my peerless prediction that a woman - most likely Sabs - will take home the fifth season of "Dancing with the Stars."
But - paradox of paradoxes - I also think a woman will be first to get voted off tonight. No clue who that'll be (but if I was Josie Maran, I'd be a little bit worried.) There are reasons for this hunch (perhaps frivolous and ill-informed, but that's never stopped me before and it won't stop me now...)
Those reasons? Well, all in all, the guys were good; there was no disaster, or as we say in the "DWTS" lingo, there was no Tucker Carlson moment. Also, "DWTS" producers did a shrewd job of matching pros with wouldbe dancers, and somehow that worked out pretty well too. So here's my line and I'm sticking with it: The guys stay through till next week.
Now, the quickie reviews:
Cameron Mathison: I think, per my recollection, that Cam did the foxtrot, which is a fogyish dance, but given the guy's rudimentary dancing skills, a smart one to start with. He was graceful, a little stiff, and a tad dull. But he may have bought himself another week. (The judges also gave him generous sevens, which likely means a return trip too.)
Floyd Mayweather: He stars in one of the rare controversial intros! When he tells his pro, Karina Smirnoff, that he wants - uhh, DEMANDS - easier steps, she tells him to take a hike, and storms off! Great theater, and great move by Karina cuz it puts FM in his place, and entertains the masses at the same time. Then the dance: I'm going with the Len Goodman line of "great potential." Incredible athlete with an incredible sense of the ring, errr, dance floor, he zipped and darted, chopped and zinged. Very good, and I may revise my earlier opinion that his impending December fight could be too distracting. He could go places here...
Helio Castroneves: The Latin Charisma King! Again, the fogyish fox trot but it looked great here. It's not one of those dances to get wowed by, but it was easily the best performance of the night to this point. 'Neves slays and stays!
Albert Reed: The major upset of the night. Man, the kid's got talent, or something - how about a really good, tough partner in Anna Trebunskaya? He did this jokey, swivel-hipped Elvis-palooza that filled up the whole dancefloor; kid's also got a sense of humor, and that'll work in his favor too.
Mark Cuban: Billionaire Guy was expected to be a flop, but he wasn't bad at all (except for that funky suit; figure with that much dough he could at least afford something that doesn’t have patches on it, even if the song WAS "King of the Road.") Under normal circumstances, he'd be the front-runner to go tonight, but with a hip replacement and solid performance, he could definitely draw the pity vote. I think Cuban stays till next week. (And check out my colleague, Diane Werts', insightful take below...)
Wayne Newton: Ya know, at some point, viewers vote for the pro, and I find it absolutely inconceivable that Cheryl Burke, a big "DWTS" star in her own right, will get the boot the first week out. She's amazing, and why would fans want to deprive themselves of HER even if they have to watch HIM. Him? Perfectly serviceable, danke shoen.
Cheryl MUST stay.