The TV Zone

Well here's a shock - or as shocking an occurrence as the moment that red ball of fire poked its head over the horizon this morning at around 5:30 a.m.: Whoopi Goldberg's the new host of "The View."

Thus ends the speculation (though hardly fevered) and the guesswork (evidently well-informed) that swirled in the wake of Rosie's wonderfully tempestuous departure just a couple of months ago. Whoopi was logical for any number of reasons: 1.) Lives locally; 2.) Has a vaguely controversial rep, with smatterings of both liberal and right-leaning opinions (hence a little safer than Ro); 3.) Knows how to do a talk show since she did one before, and has been on this one five million times; 4.) Still has some notoriety and fame even though her screen career has long since gone into eclipse; 5.) Almost certainly is liked by Babs, though of this one can never be entirely certain; 6.) Won't step all over everyone else's lines, and may even get along with Elisabeth; 7.) Won't alienate vast segments of the viewing public with endless and obvious diatribes about Bush, or Cheney, or the failed war, or Trump, or Kelly, or whatever else turned Rosie into a monumentally annoying hairshirt (though one can expect obvious potshots at Bush on various occassions, since that is what Whoopi does); 8.) Can be funny and bright, which - after all - are nice qualities to bring to this show.

It all came down just a few minutes ago on the show when Babs - in a paroxysm of hyperbole - introduced the new host as "brilliant, funny...Oscar-winning actress...Broadway superstar..Etc. Etc." Whoopi!!

Even Whoopi indicated that the secret of her impending arrival was so open that
only her mother didn't know about it: "I love this show, love hanging out with you guys, so this is a big old thrill for me, but people were going crazy - had to take the phone off the hook. My mother [calls], 'Is it true?' "I don't know what you mean' [said Whoopi to mom] Fortunately she lives in San Francisco so she couldn't see me lying through my teeth..."

Whoopi seemed to indicate, or promise, that she wouldn't become a trainwreck like Ro - you know, battling with celebrities, telling Elisabeth she's a bimbo, pushing Babs off her chair, stuff like that: "I want to assure the audience, this is a very straight-up show.." Babs: "I don't want that!" Whoopi: "I know you want me a little edgy, but someone said to me, you've become so nice. I guess the truth is, I've always been nice..."

OK, welcome aboard, Whoopi. Be nice. Make Babs happy. And above all, don’t for a minute forget who’s boss.

Said Babs, she'll join the show "permanently" after Labor Day. Of course, "permanent" is always a relative term in the firmament of "The View."

Shocked, shocked to learn that she is the next host of "The View" (courtesy USA Today.)