The TV Zone

Bulletin! Dave Letterman will appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

This is big news.

This is huge news.

Here's why: Back around the Dec. 1 2005 "Super Bowl of Love" on "Late Show," when O finally appeared and ended that long-standing silly "feud," she asked if he'd come on her show.

Dave declined, saying this: “Here’s what would happen: I would go on the ‘Oprah’ show, and I would break down and sob like a little girl ... I don’t want to have that happen. I’d feel ridiculous. I’d never be able to live that down, that Oprah would make me sob.”

Dave will appear on the Sept. 10 edition to be taped at Madison Square Garden. It may well be a Nine Eleven-themed edition (the one taped at MSG the following day obviously is) which could mean this will mark a rare - dare we say unprecedented - public appearance by Letterman in which he'll have to be SERIOUS. What can fans expect?

First of all, Letterman's a deeply serious, thoughtful guy, believe it or not. I know - I interviewed him some years ago, and the longish chat was unleavened by a single joke, quip or crack. He's intense, brutal on himself, and almost pathologically HONEST. In other words, if Oprah asks him something, he won't BS his way out of an answer. (And of course his own Nine Eleven shows were TV landmarks in their own right.)

What are some logical questions? Here are some I'd like to hear answers to:

* What did Nine Eleven mean to you?

* You always talk about your mother, but never about your dad [who died some years ago]. Why? What was he like? What sort of relationship did you have with him?

* And what about your sister - does she still live in Florida? How do you guys get along?

* Did you ever get married, and - if not - how does Regina [maybe-wife] feel about this unconventional relationship?

* Do you want another kid?

* How will you explain to Harry what you do for a living when he's old enough to understand?

* Will you ever take Harry fishing, or maybe read him "Harry Potter?" How will you explain the facts of life to him?

* Do you ever get depressed? If so, why Dave?

* What moves you to tears?

* Do you ever plan to retire to Montana and disappear for good?

Oprah, you have my permission to use any of these questions. They're not copyrighted. But please, ask just one of them. I'd actually like to see Dave sob on your show.