The TV Zone

As part of my ongoing and essentially desperate effort to lure readers to this blog, I've hatched an idea that might actually work. I'm calling this The Rosie Watch Never Stops, and will inaugurate today with a look the ongoing "feud" between Donald Trump and Rosie O.

What I hope to achieve here - assuming insanity, abject boredom or real work don't overwhelm me first - is a periodic blog entry on the life and voice of Rosie O'Donnell. I will study her every utterance. I will analyze every facial expression. Some of this will be culled from "The View," some from her blog, some from TMZ (which does a daily Rosie watch by default already), and some from the general atmospheric disturbance she causes in her wake. That should not be construed as a criticism, but as fact, for if you had the vocal resources of a Rosie O'Donnell, you too would disturb the atmosphere. She's a grand lady, who's great copy because she says whatever comes into her mind. What else could I or anyone else possibly ask for?

As I continue The Rosie Watch Never Stops, I will look carefully for the following themes of this bigger-than-life life: What drunk actor is she kissing up to today? Does she have anything unintentionally gross to say about Tom Cruise? Who is she insulting? Who is she sucking up to? Any subtle diss of "good friends" Barbara Walters or Joy Behar?

Today, Trumpster.

I have a theory - two actually - and both are valid. Theory Number One: O'Donnell and Donald Trump are actually close, personal friends who genuinely like each other. Consider that in two weeks time, Trump's "The Apprentice" returns, and what serves a rapidly diminishing enterprise better than controversy? (In fact, the Tara business was predicated on same.)

The second theory - Trumpster's casino business took a big hit yesterday. Ergo, Trumpster is in one very foul mood.

Donald, it's Christmas! Hanukkah too! Lighten up, buddy!

First, Theory Number One: Trump and O'Donnell have fabricated this war of words to boost viewership for both "View" and "The Apprentice." I'm fairly certain Trump and Martha Stewart had a similar arrangement last February when Trump leaked a letter to Newsweek. That also had the anticipated result of boosting attention to season 5 of "Apprentice" which - conveniently - began just two weeks after the Newsweek article came out. Amazing how these things happen, and plenty of time to make the front page of the tabloids and nightly editions of “Extra" and "ET."

Deja vu all over again. We quote here what Trump wrote to Stewart last February (whose own version of "The Apprentice" was essentially DOA by then):

"Dear Martha:

It's about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance - much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records."

Now, here's what Trump said about O'Donnell this morning to E.D. Hill on the Fox News Channel:

“She’s a very unattractive person and the sad part is she failed with her magazine badly, her show was getting very bad ratings, and they basically threw her off. I mean, her show was over, she was doing very poorly, her magazine she got sued on and she folded up like an umbrella. Rosie is a loser.”

“Maybe she’s jealous that Miss USA likes me and doesn’t like her. That could be it, I don’t know. But Rosie is not a good person. You take a look at her, she’s unattractive both outside and inside. This is a very unattractive person.”

Do we detect a Trumpian pattern here - aside from the particularly lame and borderline-delusional invective in both instances? We do: Trump is aiming for tabloid coverage and the tabs will oblige.

Brilliant, Donald. Just brilliant. No wonder you're worth billions and billions and billions and billions...

And here's the second theory: Trumpster became unhinged after Pennyslyvania legislators rejected his bid to build some casinos in Philly. Much Easier to yell at Rosie than at regulators, or at investors who dumped shares of Trump Entertainment Resorts.

In any event, a bad couple of days for the Donald, who needs to speed-dial the Grinch for some advice on how to get a little Christmas spirit.