Backstage Pass

   Life is a mystery. Madonna not so much.
   Everyone was expecting some sort of controversy as she launched her "Sticky and Sweet" tour in Wales last week. It was just a matter of finding out what it would be.
   This time, she chose politics -- including John McCain's picture in a montage of Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe, then including Barack Obama's picture in a montage with Gandhi and John Lennon.
   Sure, it got Madge some headlines, but that's not going to last until Oct. 4 when the tour hits America and the other current gripe with her is that the massive tour has a huge carbon footprint. Well, yeah.
   Madonna's gonna need some fresher controversies so we thought we'd help out – and not just because the new single "Beat Goes On" is too good to go unnoticed.
   She should try:
-- Gay marriage support: Whether her marriage to Guy Ritchie is on the rocks or not, they sound like they need a break. Maybe they could put things on hold as a "protest" for gay marriage, vowing not to retie the knot until all people who want to marry can.
-- Michael Phelps affair: That would give her the cover to have a quick, torrid, paparazzi-covered affair with the Olympic hero. Of course, she may have to wait in line. Maybe John Mayer can pencil her in.
-- Britney reunion: With the MTV Video Music Awards set for next week, isn't it time she and Britney Spears, um, buried the hatchet again?

PHOTO: Madonna and friends arrive on stage at Cardiff's Millennium Stadium Saturday night. Photo by Joel Ryan for Associated Press.