Talk of the Tents

By Mark La Monica

With a notepad and a deadline, I'm a confident man. Capable of doing just about anything, such as approaching a stunning woman whom I've never met before on a street in Manhattan and introducing myself.

So I did.

The woman unfortunate enough to get stuck talking to me on the corner of West 39th Street and 7th Avenue was Helena Christensen, legendary supermodel and sultry star of the sexiest video ever made, "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak.

To my surprise, she kindly stopped to chat. If only such luck extended beyond the journalism world!

The assignment wasn't a fun one, but the results, eh, not so bad.

My editor, Boss friend Lil Jon, called to tell me that Anna Nicole Smith had died and that I needed to get some reactions from those around the fashion world.

Of course, at the time of the call, most people had left Bryant Park and headed to Calvin Klein's two shows off-site on West 39th Street between 7th and 8th avenues.

Guess where I went.

Entrance to a Calvin Klein show is by juice only. I have none. I suppose invites work, too. I had none of them either. The two side entrances for deliveries were open, just not to me.

Time to map things out. There were four possible exits. Gee, thanks, Cal. It's bad enough you made CK One, now this?

However, since anyone of note at the show would likely make their way east toward Seventh Avenue or Bryant Park, I positioned myself near the proper exit.

Three minutes shy of frostbite, the first CK show ended. Out walked Anna Wintour, Vogue queen. Hmmm, I gotta believe Anna Nicole Smith was in that magazine once or twice. I made a bee-line for Wintour. She made a bee-line for her car. She won. Damn, she's good.

Oh wait, who's this walking my way? Hey, I know that face!

"Excuse me, Helena," I said. "My name is Mark La Monica and I'm a reporter for Newsday.com. I'm sure you heard by now about Anna Nicole Smith's death. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about it."

This journalism thing is pretty cool when your job responsibilities include staring into the eyes of Helena Christensen and asking her questions. Those things will break your heart, split your spleen in two and probably tear your knee ligaments in half. Surgery will be pricey, but I'm pretty sure it could be considered a business expense.

We chatted for a few minutes. If this were 1992 again, I'd be king of the world. And she even gave me a great, fresh quote:

Thank you, Helena!