Talk of the Tents

By Mark La Monica

After eight days and 342 runway shows, Fashion Week tends to drag a bit. Everyone is on their last wits and the slightest provocation could cause a serious disturbance in the force.

At last, there is a cure!

The Child Magazine show Friday afternoon did just the trick. From the moment the house lights faded and then came back on, magic filled the air.

Children ranging from 4 to 14 (approximate guess based on appearances) walked the runway in outfits from various designers, including Baby Phat, Phat Farm, G-Unit, Laura Bennett, the Olsen twins, Payless, Kenneth Cole and dozens others.

Some danced down the runway. Some struggled to walk. Some hesitated under the lights. Some walked twice. Some breakdanced. It was youthful exhuberance at its purest, and it was the best way to end Fashion Week.

Tim Gunn, the top dude at Parsons and a "Project Runway" star, said he couldn't think of a better way to wrap up his week in the tents.

"I wouldn't have the guts to do the things those kids did," he said afterward.

With every child came applause and cheers. From the crowd. From the families. From the media. It was a bolt of energy the likes of which can't truly be defined unless you were there. Watching it on television, the Internet or your Cingular phone won't do it justice, but it will give you an idea. (Click here for show photos.)

Most fashion shows are the same. Stoic looks on the models' faces and wanna-be Enya techno-house-electronica music. Heatherette, Betsey Johnson and Baby Phat always stand out as different vibes because of the scene and the music. Add Child Magazine's show to that list of must-see runway shows during Fashion Week.

Any show that can successfully blend Italian classic Eh Campari," old-school rap classic "King of Rock" by Run-DMC and new pop hit "Wind it Up" by Gwen Stefani into the same show deserves its props.

Even Russell Simmons, Rev. Run, Kimora Lee Simmons, 50 Cent, Tim Gunn and all the others there enjoyed the vibe. But don't be fooled. The kids are the real attraction.

They were so adorable posing and hamming it up for the cameras. A few kids gave a Sammy Sosa chest thump and finger kiss to the cameras. Some pointed to family and friends in the crowd. One kid stopped on his way back down the runway and tried to save Miracles with some electric boogaloo breakdancing steps. The crowd roared.

Another young girl did her runway thing, then made a second trip to help an even younger boy overcome his fears and walk to the end of the runway. By the look in his eyes, he had been crying a lot backstage, obviously scared about what lay ahead. Again, the crowd roared.

In a week and an industry filled with plastics, both cosmetic and personality, ending it with pure innocence gives you hope that there is some good in this world.

By Mark La Monica

Oooh, look at that: There's Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child rockin' out in the front row at Carmen Marc Valvo. And just a few seats down, there's Vanessa Williams looking just as amazing as ever.

I did the honorable thing and texted Cartoonist friend Harris. Partially because he asked me to do such a thing. Partially because I wanted to taunt him one last time before I return to a life of regularity on Monday. He was not happy with the text messages that followed. Oh well. He can beat me up on Monday. Right now, I'm king of his world.

Sitting in the front row at The Child Magazine show were Tim Gunn and Laura Bennett of "Project Runway" fame.

Across the runway, we had a hip-hop quartet of power. Rev. Run, Russell Simmons, Kimora Lee Simmons and 50 Cent thoroughly enjoyed the show. Run rocked a sweet white, gray and black short fur coat. 50 Cent was decked out in -- take a guess! -- G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-G-Unit gear and a Yankee hat.

By Mark La Monica

After a subpar performance on Thursday, The Front Row Daily came back strong on Friday, the final day of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.

And once again, it was "The Fix" section that set it off today.

"I love the theatricality of fashion shows . . .," Alan Cumming was quoted as saying. Um, yeah, "theatricality?" That can't be a word. But, it's pretty amusing.

A Daily reporter caught up with Adrien Grenier, star of "Entourage" at the G-Star show. As if there were any more reasons to love that show, here's one more - the quick interview by The Daily:

Do you like fashion shows? This is my first one.

Ever?
Ever.

What are you expecting?
Models on the runway, I imagine.

Do you like models?
Sure.

You seem pretty low maintenance. Are you interested in fashion?
How much can you really be interested in clothes?

Championship work, Vinny Chase!

Aaron Hicklin of Out Magazine was asked what his favorite goodie bag has been so far. "I haven't had any! It's a swag desert this week." Damn you, Mercedes-Benz. Bring back the WE bag!!!

As Fashion Week comes to a close, it's always said to realize The Front Row Daily won't be part of my world anymore. Clearly, the people who publish this magazine know how important they are. The last page of the mag informs us that the new issue of The Daily MINI will be available March 12. Whew!

By Mark La Monica

On occasion, patience pays off. I waited a few minutes to exit The Salon after The Child Magazine show, which incidentally was the best show of Fashion Week.

As I shuffled my feet along with the rest of the cattle slowly exiting the show, I looked to my left and saw the aura that surrounds celebrities. A closer look revealed the celeb: Tim Gunn.

Here's my chance to wrap up Fashion Week with some fun.

"So, Mr. Gunn, what did you think of that show?" I asked.

"I loved it," he said. "That was the most fun I've had at a show all week. How about you?"

One could interpret that as Tim Gunn being polite and returning the friendly banter. Or, one could interpret that as Tim Gunn actively seeking my opinion on matters of fashion. I choose the latter.

"That was the perfect way to wrap up my Fashion Week," I said. "After that, I might even think about coming back for the spring."

"If I were those children, I wouldn't have the guts to do what they did," Gunn said.

"I know, right."

"Well, nice talking to you."

"You too, Mr. Gunn. Keep making it work."

By Mark La Monica

Carmen Marc Valvo makes some nice clothes. The shoes used in his Fall 2007 show, however, had some issues. One fell off a model up down the runway, and the other fell off down the runway. A second model nearly tripped over her shoes.

But after that, the clothes looked pretty cool. And if you can't dig thigh high purple soft leather boots, then you have no soul! Have a look.

By Mark La Monica

On the eighth day of Fashion Week, people are a bit on edge. They see the light at the end of the tunnel and don't care about the plastic dividers in between lanes.

A cameraman at Carmen Marc Valvo expressed such an opinion. He stationed himself on the floor with his video camera on a tripod, a connotative no-no in the pits.

Clearly fed up with Fashion Week, he taped signs on the side and the back of his camera. It looked like this:

By Mark La Monica

All the world heard in the days leading up to New York Fashion Week was how models are too thin. How they're sickly and projecting an unreal, unfair image to young girls.

Suggestive guidelines were put forth a month ago. The designers said all the right things.

Yet, there's been no evidence seen on the runways this week suggesting anything has or will be done about it.

Michael Kors danced around the topic during an interview backstage before his show, saying something has to be done about it and that someone should pick up a phone and call someone when it becomes a problem. On the other hand, he said, the runway is still all about the fantasy.

Maybe that works well with his "delicious dichotomy" theme for his Fall 2007 collection, but in the greater scheme of the issue at hand, it's rubbish.

Expecting a change overnight is unrealistic. Expecting designers to alter plans so close to their show is unexpected.

But, Carmen Marc Valvo has been outspoken about using healthy models and rumor has it he refused to use three models he'd worked with in the past for this season's collection. The show goes off around 1:30 p.m. today, so let's see if Valvo brings the beef.

By Mark La Monica

As if I weren't already hugely infatuated with the persona of Anna Wintour, this little nugget of information transforms it into amour.

According to Page Six of the Post (so there's a could chance it's complete yang), Wintour helped pull off a Fashion Week snowjob.

The story said that fashion and media people "were aflutter" this week of couture-dressed scenesters "Elisabeta and Nicolae Petrescu."

Turns out they are really Los Angeles-based actors.

Wintour sold the couple, dressed in Trovota (whatever that means), by playing the air-kiss game in front of hundreds of photographers this week. Supposedly, it was all meant to advertise Trovota.

This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. Behind those dark sunglasses, bob cut and stoic expression, Anna Wintour does have a sense of humor. I've been trying to pull this off all week.

Anna, dah-ling, call me in August and let's hatch a devilish scheme for Spring 2008 Fashion Week in September.

P.S. Remember, this was found in the gossip section of Page Six, which doesn't guarantee accuracy. In fact, it could be a double double-cross by Wintour's people. If that's the case, I love her even more.

P.P.S. Anna, seriously, call me! We'll lunch. You like Wo Hop?

By Mark La Monica

When we're not at a show or hanging out backstage or getting into mischief outside the tents, we're inside the tents, chillin'.

It's an interesting scene, with wild dressers, promotional booths, fountains, a coat check and a bunch of beverages. Have a look at the main tent at Bryant Park.

By Mark La Monica

A look at some of the stuff you don't see behind the scenes backstage at Y & Kei.

By Mark La Monica

With a notepad and a deadline, I'm a confident man. Capable of doing just about anything, such as approaching a stunning woman whom I've never met before on a street in Manhattan and introducing myself.

So I did.

The woman unfortunate enough to get stuck talking to me on the corner of West 39th Street and 7th Avenue was Helena Christensen, legendary supermodel and sultry star of the sexiest video ever made, "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak.

To my surprise, she kindly stopped to chat. If only such luck extended beyond the journalism world!

The assignment wasn't a fun one, but the results, eh, not so bad.

My editor, Boss friend Lil Jon, called to tell me that Anna Nicole Smith had died and that I needed to get some reactions from those around the fashion world.

Of course, at the time of the call, most people had left Bryant Park and headed to Calvin Klein's two shows off-site on West 39th Street between 7th and 8th avenues.

Guess where I went.

Entrance to a Calvin Klein show is by juice only. I have none. I suppose invites work, too. I had none of them either. The two side entrances for deliveries were open, just not to me.

Time to map things out. There were four possible exits. Gee, thanks, Cal. It's bad enough you made CK One, now this?

However, since anyone of note at the show would likely make their way east toward Seventh Avenue or Bryant Park, I positioned myself near the proper exit.

Three minutes shy of frostbite, the first CK show ended. Out walked Anna Wintour, Vogue queen. Hmmm, I gotta believe Anna Nicole Smith was in that magazine once or twice. I made a bee-line for Wintour. She made a bee-line for her car. She won. Damn, she's good.

Oh wait, who's this walking my way? Hey, I know that face!

"Excuse me, Helena," I said. "My name is Mark La Monica and I'm a reporter for Newsday.com. I'm sure you heard by now about Anna Nicole Smith's death. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about it."

This journalism thing is pretty cool when your job responsibilities include staring into the eyes of Helena Christensen and asking her questions. Those things will break your heart, split your spleen in two and probably tear your knee ligaments in half. Surgery will be pricey, but I'm pretty sure it could be considered a business expense.

We chatted for a few minutes. If this were 1992 again, I'd be king of the world. And she even gave me a great, fresh quote:

Thank you, Helena!

By Mark La Monica

A look at what J. Mendel offered up for the Fall 2007 collection in The Promenade on today.

By Mark La Monica

I took a flier and walked into The Salon for the Neil Barrett show. Why not, right? Let's give someone I never heard of the chance to be written about by me.

Turns out this was a grand decision. Not so much because of the clothes but rather the experience. Plenty of things occurred that I'd never seen before.

We begin with the seating, which were comprised entirely of aluminum bleachers. Just like the ones you sat in for Little League baseball games. After I few minutes, I found myself fighting the urge to stand up and chant "DE-FENSE! DE-FENSE!"

The show was scheduled to start at 1 p.m., which really means 1:35ish. At 2 p.m., with Vera Wang next up, a man got on the house mike and announced that the show would start soon. Something about waiting for a bus. He then assured us that Vera Wang wouldn't start until after Neil Barrett finished and that we'd all be able to get in.

Never heard a human get on the mike like that before a show. Usually, they just keep playing music.

Once the show began, there were empty seats. In the front row. In the middle rows. In the back rows. Even the standing room section was practically empty. It was like going to Stan the Man's Baseball Land in the Bronx when the Yankees are on the road.

It's customary to clap at the end of a fashion show, regardless of your opinion of the clothes. This applause felt forced.

As for the clothes, they were OK. Neil Barrett went with all black, silver, white and camel. Some call it a design concept. I call it getting a good deal on a particular color of fabric.

By Mark La Monica

I wandered into the DJ booth in The Salon prior to the start of the Neil Barrett show. I was curious, plus no one stopped me.

A fan of good music and a former DJ, I've been wondering how the music is chosen and played and what not at these fashion shows.

Eric Febus of ADI was in the booth and more than willing to discuss his day. After eight or so years of Fashion Week shows, it's likely I was the first person to ever ask him about his job as opposed to telling him what to do.

ADI provides all the sound systems and equipment for every show at Bryant Park. Febus is positioned in The Salon all week so he's seen "all the shows in red" -- the color in the show schedule that designates The Salon.

So which one has had the best music so far? Jenni Kayne, he said.

"Her stuff was really funky," Febus said. "It brought it back to the old school and the new wave."

Some shows are mixed live and others are pre-recorded. When a designer doesn't have a specific DJ, ADI provides an engineer to put it together.

Neil Barrett had a pre-recorded soundtrack, so all Febus had to really do was push play. Great gig.

By Mark La Monica

For lunch, I ventured in the wild and crazy world of New York City outside the safe haven of the tents at Bryant Park where everything is mwah-mwah and fabulous.

Cafe Duke on 41st and Seventh seemed like a nice place to grab a yogurt and cranberry juice (that's considered a big lunch for some people here). What the heck, I'll try it, especially after my North Carolina Tar Heels stuffed Duke into a hurt locker last night in men's college basketball.

While lunching with my back turned, I heard a loud pop and saw three people in front of me jump up to see what happened. I had no angle on the action so I had to rely on the sound I heard and their reactions. Correct, I had the DeNiro seat, as so labeled by Jitsu friend Joey. (That's the seat where you always have to turn around and strain your face to look like Robert DeNiro to see what's going on.)

Turns out some woman got laid out on the floor by a man dressed in street clothes who said he was "the police." I didn't see a badge nor did I ask to see one, but he did escort the woman out of the store in handcuffs. She apparently swiped another woman's wallet.

Um, I'm going back to the tents now where the fashion police don't hit with anything harder than words.

By Mark La Monica

What you see on the fashion and style networks is all the glam and all the glitz. Occasionally, you'll get a backstage look at the preparation that goes into producing all the stunning visuals.

But even that's glitzy. From the fancy makeup and hair styling to the dozens of models prancing around in fresh clothing and fly accessories, it's as much fantasy indulgence as the show itself.

What you never see in the almost-behind-the-scenes show that goes into making the tent presentable and the show fancy and magical.

There's very little glamour involved with putting gift bags on tables and watching people fill up the seats. But, it's interesting to see it all unfold. So, here's a look at the in-tent visuals that went into creating the splendid Betsey Johnson show earlier this week.

By Mark La Monica

Here's a question for you to ponder while I mill about the tents and look for more things to write about:

Generically speaking, do you think the fashion people here have more plastic in their personality or more plastic surgically attached to their bodies?

Enjoy the debate!

By Mark La Monica

All the clothes pretty much look the same by Day 7 of Fashion Week, so my mind starts wander. Here's where it went:

- Always dressed impeccably in public, does Anna Wintour own sweatpants to wear at home?

- What does a New York socialite do during the day the other 50 weeks of the year when there aren't fashion shows to go to?

- How many times does a model have her picture taken during a fashion show, from backstage to runway and backstage again?

- Another subway ride today and still no sign of the Pussycat Dolls coming in to dance like in their "Wait a Minute" video. Maybe I should try riding another line.

By Mark La Monica

Upon my arrival at the tents this morning, I headed straight to the Heart Truth booth to see if the foot massage people were there today.

That's right, people, free foot massage! Rumor has it they've got their technique down so they don't tickle or anything.

Alas, they were gone, replaced by people from Swarovski crystal, another sponsor of Heart Truth. Oh well, no foot rub for me.

Looking around in the booth, though, I noticed a Swarovski crystal necklace on display.

"Mom likes this stuff," I told a woman working the booth. "Oh that's nice. So nice it looks like I can't afford it."

"This one retails for only 75," she said.

"Bucks or thousand?"

"Bucks!"

"Woo hoo!"

By Mark La Monica

A woman was seen smiling, chuckling, moving around in her seat and expressing emotion during a fashion show at Bryant Park this morning.

Underneath her traditional big, black sunglasses, Vogue editor and fashion deity Anna Wintour appeared to enjoy chatting with the people sitting next to her, Andre Leon Talley to her left and a blond woman to her left, at the J. Mendel runway show.

"This is totally out of character for her," said a source with absolutely zero knowledge of her thinking.

By Mark La Monica

OK, now this may just be the coolest thing ever. I heard about it while watching an interview with Nanette Lepore.

It's called the virtual mirror and Lepore plans to debut it soon, either in New York or Tokyo. She wasn't sure where yet. It was a big hit at a national retailers convention last month.

Given its geographical home base for fashion, and living in a New York state of mind, Talk of the Tents votes for a New York debut. I wish she brought it to the tents for us to play with, but alas the fashion world will not bend to my every whim. Could you imagine that photo gallery?

Essentially, a shopper tries something on in front of a screen and it transmits the images to computers, cell phones, etc., of friends and families and editors and buyers and anyone else who wants to plug in to your personal fashion show. Holla at some MySpace!

Thinking in societal stereotypes for just a moment here, the ladies are going to love this.

Thinking in societal stereotypes for just one more moment here, their boyfriends are going to love it even more. Soon, fellas won't even have to get up off the couch before they say, "No, sweetie, you don't look fat in that."

Pretty cool, huh?

Read more about this virtual mirror here.

By Mark La Monica

We regular people look up at the beautiful people only to look down upon them and scoff at their way of life.

It's jealousy. Pure and simple. No way around it. No need to hide it. Just come to grips with it and move on in life.

We hear about the model lifestyle of big money, fancy clothes, exotic destinations, whisk-aways to Paris for dinner, boozing and snorting into the wee hours of exclusive clubs and going straight to work.

Let me tell you, folks, that ain't easy.

It's 8 p.m. and I'm still not quite right after partying deep into the night at the Heatherette shindig. All I did was have a few drinks and Pixy Stix. I even got close to two full hours of sleep last night. Had a healthy, full lunch, too. And 31 bottles of smart water.

And I can barely stand.

Props to the models for living the lifestyle. Clearly, I'm just an old man these days.

By Mark La Monica

They did it again! Another "You will survive" page devoted to people's tips on making it through "the craziest week in fashion."

Honestly, people.

Here's the link again to my survival guide last year. . What more can I do?

By Mark La Monica

Thought a Heatherette runway show was the craziest thing you could take part in during Fashion Week?

Clearly, you've never been to a Heatherette runway show afterparty. Whoa, nelly, let me tell you about some lunacy. This thing makes Naomi Campbell look a like peace-loving tree-hugger.

Somehow through the stroke of good fortune, a little bit of luck and a lotta bit of "I don't know how I'm pulling this off but I am" mojo, I secured entrance for myself and a guest to Tuesday night's afterparty at Roseland Ballroom on West 52nd Street.

Not williing to enter the madness without proper backup, I dialed Consultant friend Ian as a wingman. He obliged, choosing to put MBA homework aside for the late night, a move he likely will regret on Wednesday night. Hey, not my problem.

You know those crazy nights you've had and the recollecting the next day? That time you spend trying to figure out where the night took a left turn? That left turn on this night occured as soon as we walked into the party. And they kept coming like it was a NASCAR race. One giant, three-hour left turn.

All the drag queens from the show were there, along with all their friends. Some rollerskaters joined the fray. Bad-ass model Omayrah cut it up on the main dance floor once or twice. A cotton candy machine. Regular candy bins on all the tables. Even the guy with the apron instead of pants was there.

Show stoppin'

What are those five girls in minimal clothing doing on the stage? Oh snap, that's Danity Kane. An added bonus for the evening. This night is picking up.

Danity Kane did a three-song set, ending with their big single "Showstopper." It was a nice little performance for the girls from Diddy's "Making The Band 3" on MTV.

During their second song, "Ride for You," I turned to Ian and asked him to walk to New Jersey and get me a set of lefthanded golf clubs. (If you didn't catch that reference, then go rent and study Season 2 of Chappelle's Show.)

No Diddy sightings, though, which was disappointing. Perhaps another vodka-cran will ease the feeling of loss.

DJ Nick Cannon

It's official. DJ Nick Cannon in the house. Wild out now!

Indeed, actor/comedian Nick Cannon got behind the tables and cut it up for the rest of the night. He was pretty good, too. Played a wide range of stuff, including "Sweet Home Alabama." Not kidding. It cleared the dance floor, but it was admirable.

As was his playing of the first verse of "Ice Ice Baby" by the legend, Vanilla Ice. But his best work came when he mixed the beat from "Erotic City" by George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic with the lyrics from "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake.

If you access to iTunes and audio editing software, I suggest you download these two and listen. It's quite impressive. Point for Nick Cannon and the red team!

'Is this heroin?'

On the tables throughout Roseland were bins full of candy. Pixy Stix, Laffy Taffy, gum, fruit-shelled chocolates and assorted other sugary sweets.

The Pixy Stix intrigued me the most. Hadn't even seen those in about 14 years let alone ate one. I quickly grabbed two.

Just about to rip it open and pound it down like I was 9 years old on Halloween again, I had a moment of clarity. I'm in a club at a model party thrown by famous and rich club kids and there's this straw full of sugar wrapped in a thin piece of paper. Hmmm, I wonder if this is a smart idea.

"Ian, is this heroin?" I asked. "What do you think the odds are? Should we shoot it and find out?"

He laughed. But for a minute we considered it may not be a real Pixy Stix. Then we realized this is Roseland Ballroom, not Limelight. There's no way this is anything but a blast of sugar. Plus, Traver Rains and Richie Rich (Heatherette's designers) are not stupid people. Insane with clothing and style, sure, but not stupid with party favors.

We pounded the Pixy Stix and went on about our way.

Here's a tip for you: Do not mix Pixy Stix with alcohol. Not a good idea. Print this out and put it in your wallet if you need to.

Although WebMD didn't specifically say no, there's enough between-the-lines stuff to realize this wasn't a smart idea. Of course, there were no Internet kiosks set up in Roseland to check this out beforehand.

Dancing with Danity Kane

"Dang, that's Danity Kane on the dance floor with us regular folks," I said aloud. "They ain't in VIP? That's cool. Then again, they only have one real big hit so far."

I slyly worked my way in their direction on the dance floor. The music was bumping and I sort of found myself right next to one of the DK ladies. Some things are just plain funny. Me dancing, that's funny. Me dancing next to a member of Danity Kane, that's funnier. Her not laughing at me, that's polite.

As we boogied individually on the dance floor but together in my mind, the stage was enveloped by large men in neon green "things." That's really the only to describe these, um, outfits. It was one piece of fabric that covered their nipples, the space between the left and right butt cheeks and most of their, well, you know. The rest was all man flesh on display for the people.

Such is life at Heatherette. Oh well. Here's my in with Danity Kane's Shannon Bex. I approached her as she turned away from looking at the stage.

"What do I have to do to get you girls back up on the stage instead of that?" I asked.

She laughed. "I know, right," she said.

"Seriously, what can I do? I'll go up there with you if I have to."

She laughed again. And then my show stopped.

By Mark La Monica

OK, we're a day behind on this one, but I blame it all on poor Internet connections here in the tents.

At least a review of Tuesday's edition of The Front Row Daily didn't disappoint. In the Daily Confessions section, we have this nugget from a "Marie Claire" fashion assistant:

"My boyfriend makes me bring The Daily home to him every night."

Ha! Told you so. This magazine is strangely compelling.

A bit of practicality put forth in The Fix section from actress Kim Cattrall:

"I love The Daily! It makes me laugh! Keep on making me laugh - but not at my expense, please!"

In fashion, it's all about a life full of exclamation points!

In a feature called Cope-A-Cabana (not kidding about the title), fashion folks give their tips on how to survive Fashion Week. Clearly, they did not consult The Mark La Monica Fashion Week Survival Guide. Had they, they'd know they're about one year with this information.

By Mark La Monica

At this point, all the clothes pretty much look the same. But one garment from the Michael Kors show made me think.

He designed this brown three-quarter-length fur coat for men. It looked pretty cool.

I thought to myself, "Hmmm, I could consider pausing to think about maybe considering wearing that."

Then I thought, "Three problems with that: 1) I'm not a pimp; 2) Size and price could be an issue; 3) Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier will never fight at The Garden again, so I don't know where else I could wear it."

And so my life continues fur-less, just the way PETA likes it.

By Mark La Monica

Donald Trump sat in the front row, as you might expect, for the Michael Kors show. He was accompanied by his wife, Melania.

He rocked his standard onion loaf hair and pursed lips. But something didn't seem right with The Donald this time.

Ah, that's it. He's not wearing a suit! I've never seen the Donald not wear a complete suit. Instead, he had on gray pants, a black blazer, white shirt and a blue tie. Today must have been his off day. However, he still looked quite rich.

Other famous faces spotted at Kors include Vogue editor/God of all that is style holy Anna Wintour, actress Kim Cattrall and actress Jane Krakowski of "30 Rock."

By Mark La Monica

The Michael Kors show is always a see and be seen event, elevated even further by the success of "Project Runway," the Bravo designer reality show of which he's a judge.

But backstage access provides another must-see event, not including celebrities and models.

Posted on the wall near where the models walk out on to the runway is a sign, a large piece of white paper with some words of inspiration written on it. A little pre-walk pep talk, if you will. Here's this year's sign, and it's just as hilarious as last year's sign:

Deal with that, America! (Monte Carlo and London, too!)

By Mark La Monica

There is no more anticipated show at Fashion Week than Heatherette. It's a freak show, where everyone is welcomed and made to feel at home. Drag queens, porn stars, marketing executives, bloggers. One big, happy family.

Backstage before the show is just as insane. A makeup artist and his friend, rookies to the Heatherette scene, were equal parts excited and scared of what was to come.

To get you warmed up, enjoy another of our 60-second showcases behind the scenese backstage at Heatherette.

By Mark La Monica

Interviewing Traver Rains, one half of the crazy genius behind Heatherette, is always interesting. Then again, anything involving Heatherette is two steps shy of pure insanity and among the most enjoyable experiences of Fashion Week.

As Journalista friend Lauren asked him questions about the Fall 2007 Heatherette line and its inspiration for a video segment, I stood guard and waited for something special.

The Montana-bred Rains did not disappoint.

When asked to speak more in-depth about the line, he said:

"It's sexy S & M meets The Wizard of Oz."

And there we have the quote of a lifetime. You can have all your Terrell Owens and Jeremy Shockey soundbytes. You can even listen to Allen Iverson's "We talkin' ' bout practice" speech and Jim Mora's "Playoffs?" all day long if you wish.

Me, I'll take "It's sexy S & M meets The Wizard of Oz" any day. I nearly lost my mind when he said it the first time. I absolutely lost my mind the next 33 times I repeated his quote in my head during the following 14 seconds.

After the interview, I extended my right arm for a handshake. Rains complied. Then I explained to him, "Never in my life did I think I'd hear the words 'It's sexy S & M meets The Wizard of Oz' strung together in that order, and for this I must thank you."

He laughed.

"That's Heatherette," he said.

Indeed, sir. That is 100 percent Heatherette.

By Mark La Monica

A quick look at eight children rehearsing their little ballet for the Heatherette show. These kids were adorable backstage and earned a great ovation from the crowd during the show.

By Mark La Monica

And I thought I'd seen it all at Fashion Week after two and a half of them under my belt. Not so fast, my friend.

Speaking of belts, they're typically used to hold up one's pants. Not so fast, my friend.

That only works if you're actually wearing pants!

Mulling about the aisles prior to the start of the Heatherette show was a fella with all of zero clothing covering his patoot.

Now, I've seen Prince wear ass-less pants. Howard Stern, too. But at least there was a bit of fabric covering up the continental divide.

Not this time. Not even a man-thong! Just an apron wrapped around his waist and covering the front side. To his defense, though, he did wear a tuxedo shirt, vest and bow tie along with a nice top hat.

A woman from Delaware sitting in front of me tried to take a picture of his Delaware Water Gap until I stepped in and convinced her there were better things to do with those kilobytes on her digital camera.

Heatherette is now officially, once again, Bizarro World.

By Mark La Monica

Celebrities, in this case, are no different than regular folks: They all want in to see Heatherette, an event that is as much performance art as it runway fashion show.

Among the 1,700 or so people who crammed into The Tent for the Tuesday night closing ceremony:

- Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child.

- Nick Cannon of "Drumline" and MTV's "Wild 'n Out."

- Jets safety and should-have-been Pro Bowler Kerry Rhodes.

- Russell Simmons, you know, Rush.

- Irv Gotti, a music producer who likely didn't hear me yelling out "It's murda!", his label Murda Inc.'s signature line made by popular by Ja Rule.

- Carson Kressley of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," dressed in a classy blue sportcoat, white button-down shirt and jeans, pretty much the complete antithesis of everything Heathette stands for with its designs.

- Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge from MTV's "The Hills." One of these days, I will summon the courage to actually speak to LC and discuss her perfect smile.

- Cuba Gooding Jr. rockin out to the beats provided by the DJ during the show.

- Swizz Beats of DMX/Rough Riders fame and the DJ providing those beats. New rule: Swizz Beats should be the official in-house DJ and music arranger for all fashion shows. Hot beats!

- Joan Jett, the rocker was was just as smokin' hot at Heatherette as she was earlier at Betsey Johnson.

- Alert! Alert! Alert! Mario Van Peebles is still alive. He sat in the front row for the show wearing a fedora, black sport coat and a Baadasssss! T-shirt from his 2003 movie of the same name. Not content to let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip by without a story for the boys back home, I "accidentally" crossed paths with Van Peebles on the runway after the show. "Hey, it's Rappin' John Hood. What's up, guy?" I said. Either he didn't hear me or chose not to hear me. Likely the latter. But if you know the reference without clicking on that link, you know how much of a bomb I just dropped.

- Vivica A. Fox is quite stunning in person, still. I'm just saying.

By Mark La Monica

Pure, unadulterated lunacy.

That's the only real way to sum up a Heatherette fashion show.

You can expect to see things you've never seen before. You can expect to see clothes that you'd wear if you were in a club, a techno video or on Mars. You can even expect to catch a few drag queens and porn stars in the audience.

It all adds up to the best 20 minutes of Fashion Week. Every time, it's the best time.

This year was no different. Often described as more performance art than runway show, the Heatherette experience is more of a video come to life than anything else.

The show began with the lights out and dancers coming down the runway wearing glow-in-the-dark clothes and makeup. The blacklights you thought were cool in college are much cooler at a Heatherette show.

Then came the models, as Swizz Beats opened the music with old-school club classic "It Takes Two" by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock. The heads nodded. The models walked. The party began.

Quick note: Traver Rains and Richie Rich, the designers and creators of Heatherette were club kids who tapped into a crazy market of club clothing design. They love the drag queens and the drag queens love them.

Omayrah, bad-ass model and the only woman here at Bryant Park who understands how to work a runway, came out to a huge ovation. She worked the crowd, demanding even more love from the adoring fans then high-fived some ladies in the front row on her way back. She's crazy, cool and worth the price of admission.

Once the 40 or so models walked, a small handful of which wore pants with exposed butt cheeks, eight children came out and lined the runway for some ballet moves as Amanda Lepore walked down the runway in a corset with little pink roses.

After that, all the models walked out wearing white T-shirts wit