Talk of the Tents

By Mark La Monica

Any attempt by myself to dissect this world's God would be so much more than futile. But observing Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, the God of the fashion world, is truly inspiring. She is hardcore.

So, I shall recount what I saw and what I thought when I saw it at the Max Azria show on Monday.

Prior to the show, Wintour took her seat in the front row on the side of the runway where the models walk out. (The runway was a horseshoe with right-angle turns.)

She was dressed classy, as you would expect from a woman of her stature. (After all, the novel and subsequent movie "The Devil Wears Prada" is supposedly based on her.)

Wintour seemed approachable before the start of show as she shared a laugh with the young woman sitting next to her. Not that I had the audacity to get that close to God and perhaps consider sharing her air without signed legal documents allowing me to do so. Besides, I was wearing white socks with black shoes, a strict no-no for everyone except the T-Birds in "Grease."

Once the lights began to dim and it appeared the show was seconds away from starting, boom! Wintour slapped on a pair of black, oversized sunglasses and assumed her role as judge of all things chic and stylish.

As each article of clothing from Max Azria's Spring 2007 collection crossed paths with Wintour's gaze, Wintour never seemed fazed by anything. She just sat there expressionless. Models could have given her the finger and she would not have budged a centimeter.

It was truly amazing to see such dedication to stoicism. Some people may not like that, but I was enthralled. Here sits God and she has nothing to say or express. No pursing of the lips. No body language to suggest anything. No flick of the hair. That is Almighty power.

Warning: Do not play poker against this woman. Her 2-7 offsuit will beat your aces before the turn every time.

I'm wondering if underneath those sunglasses, she ever blinked. I'll bet no. A friend of mine in Vegas said the over/under at The Mirage on blinks by Wintour underneath her sunglasses at any fashion show was 2. I took the under.

Once the show ended, Wintour took off her sunglasses and exited the building through the front lobby where the -- gasp! -- general public mingles. Who says God doesn't love everyone equally?

I caught up with Wintour on the street by accident. I was surprised to see that she only had one bodyguard. I figured there would be at least 10 or so acolytes waiting. Wintour then walked halfway up 41st Street before hopping into her car and being whisked away.

It was a rather intriguing exercise in observation and pseudo-clinical study. Watching people command respect and flaunt their power just by walking into a room is very interesting.

Oh yeah, Azria's collection was pretty decent. Although, I was left wondering why many of the spring dresses looked like extra-long smocks without buttons. Some of the gear looked extremely pleasing to my untrained eye, but others looked like those who failed to qualify for "Project Runway." A woman's body is naturally shapely and attractive and should be accented, not stuck in a painter's dropcloth with one shoulder strap. Of course, that's just my opinion. I'm not God. I wouldn't even be allowed in her building.