After her cameo -- a successful one in the eyes of Pet Rock -- last month on "How I Met Your Mother," Britney Spears returns as Abby the secretary on the May 12 episode. Watch the clip and enjoy.
I’m not exactly sure who handles casting at ‘The Real World,’ but they should get a raise, an Emmy and any other accolade you can give a casting director. This year’s show features the best, most disturbed, cast of all-time.
There is a stripper, a former meth-addict and someone with an arrest warrant issued for them. Oh, that’s all the SAME PERSON! It just gets better from there.
You also have Joey, a roid-raging alcoholic who has a problem with drugs. Ratings GOLD! There is also a S
outhern girl who is a total racist and doesn’t even know it and then perhaps the best cast member of all time in Greg, the winner of this year’s viewer’s choice for roommates, he doesn’t even care that he is on the show. It is awesome.
In this week’s episode, Joey gets drunk, destroys the house, threatens all his roommates, cries and then gets sent to rehab with Dr. Drew from ‘Loveline.’ Only in Hollywood.
In case you missed it, here is what you need to know about each cast member:
Joey: Alcoholic and avid weightlifter now in rehab for addiction to everything. Cries a lot.
Kimberly: Made famous for saying things like ‘let’s not get all ghetto.’ Resident racist is clueless.
Dave: So far the most normal of the bunch.
Sarah: Good girl recently admitted an eating disorder. Destined to cheat on boyfriend soon.
Will: Wedding DJ trying to make it in Hollywood. Seems like a good guy.
Brianna: Stripper recently returned home after a bench warrant was issued for a fight she had with her boyfriend in Philadelphia
Greg: Viewers choice refers to people as ‘peasants’ and women as ‘associates.’ Greatest cast member of all-time!
While star turns in the hits like ‘Rat Race,’ ‘Eddie,’ and ‘It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie,’ may have made you forget that our favorite center-square, Whoopi Goldberg, was once a decent actress (see ‘Ghost’ and ‘Clara’s Heart’), there is nothing in her career path to show that she would ever make a good singer.
She proved that on yesterday’s ‘View’ when she jumped in on ‘Higher Love’ with Steve Winwood. My bet is he never goes back and that there were thousands of cats lined up outside after the show.
Check it out on the web site for ‘The View’ under ‘Whoopi’s duet.
Arguably the greatest host of "Saturday Night Live" ever (all due respect to Steve Martin, Christopher Walken, John Goodman and Justin Timberlake), Alec Baldwin gets another moment in the sun Tuesday night (April 29) at 8:30 p.m.
NBC has put together the Best of Alec Baldwin on "SNL," which will no doubt leave us paralyzed from laughter for 90 minutes or so.
Legendary skits such as Canteen Boy, Pete Schweddy's balls and my favorite, Baldwin as an elf re-enacting his "Glengarry Glen Ross" speech, no doubt will make the cut tonight. With any luck, a few Dr. Burner and Dr. Zinger skits, too.
Just to get you in the mood, watch the video below.
- La Monica
Popular New York disc jockey Wendy Williams is getting her own TV show.
Starting July, Williams will appear every day on Fox affiliates in New York, Los Angeles, Dallas and Detroit every day for an hour known as "The Wendy Williams Show."
Williams will broadcast from New York, where she's hosted a radio show for 15 years. Her show will dive into the entertainment world and tackle topics such as celebrity gossip and news events, as well as interviews and fashion. Williams will also be dishing out advice to audience members and viewers on issues such as sex, relationships, money and dating.
Talk show veteran Rob Dauber will serve as executive producer of “The Wendy Williams Show” along with Williams and her husband-manager, Kevin Hunter. Dauber has worked with Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey and Commack native Rosie O’Donnell.
The show will air for a six-week trial beginning July 14.
I've only heard Williams' radio show a few times, but I do know what's on TV nowadays ... might be worth a shot.
What do Canada, Alan Thicke, former pop-sensation Tiffany and James Van Der Beek all have in common? Yes, they are all things no one cares about anymore. However, they are also all featured in the new Robin Sparkles video "Sandcastles in the Sand."
The folks at "How I Met Your Mother" may just have another hit on their hands.
"The Colbert Report" had a few special visitors on Thursday night's episode on location in Philadelphia. Watch the clips and see who will get the famous "Colbert bump" in the polls.
Note: You may or may not have to sit through a commercial first. We apologize for that, but it's beyond our control
Hillary fixes Colbert's technical difficulties.
Barack Obama on the big screen.
John Edwards
The good people of this Internet space have spoken. OK, more like clicked their mouse button, but they voted nonetheless.
And the winner of Sitcom Madness is . . . "The Honeymooners."
With an easy 558-490 win over "All in the Family," Ralph Kramden and company took home the subjective title of greatest sitcom of all-time. Below are some clips from the show. Thanks to all who played along.
Here we go, folks. It's the championship round. From 64 to 2 shows. Who will Sitcom Madness? Who knows, but this 64-show tournament has taken on an old-school feel.
The Matchup: "All in the Family" vs. "The Honeymooners."
The Bracket: View the updated bracket
The Voting Schedule: Poll open from 12 p.m. April 7 to noon April 9.
We'll announce the big winner and celebrate at 12:30 p.m.
Jerry Seinfeld was so distraught about the early returns from the polls in the Elite 8, that he flipped his 1967 Fiat in East Hampton this past Saturday.
He's OK, but his sitcom, the No. 1 seed in the Art Vandelay bracket, didn't do as well in Sitcom Madness. "Seinfeld" got smoked by No. 2 All in the Family, setting a trend as the three remaining top seeds fell in the Elite 8.
Ralph Kramden hopped in his "Honeymooners" bus and drove right over those six "Friends" at the coffee shop. "Lucy" whined her way past the troops in "M*A*S*H*" and everyone seems to love Raymond instead of that Simpson family that hasn't aged a bit in nearly 20 years.
The Voting Schedule
Final Four: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. April 3 to noon April 7.
Championship: Poll open from 12:15 p.m. April 7 to noon April 9.
We'll announce the big winner and celebrate at 12:30 p.m.
While the NCAA tournament has its Final Four full of No. 1 seeds for the first time in its history, Sitcom Madness will not experience a similar fate.
After teetering on the edge in the first two rounds, The Cosby Show finally fell victim to the madness, losing out to No. 4 The Simpsons in the Hillman College bracket.
In the Fun Bobby bracket, No. 3 The Honeymooners figured out how to stop the juggernaut that was No. 2 Cheers. Cheers trailed by 10 votes on Saturday afternoon, but then Sam "Mayday" Malone entered the game and The Honeymooners teed off and won by 105 votes.
As for the rest of the brackets, chalk, chalk and chalk.
The Voting Schedule
Elite Eight: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. March 31 to noon April 3.
Final Four: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. April 3 to noon April 7.
Championship: Poll open from 12:15 p.m. April 7 to noon April 9.
We'll announce the big winner and celebrate at 12:30 p.m.
OK, folks, now the maddening part of Sitcom Madness really comes into play. We're down to the Sweet 16 in our tournament to determine the greatest television sitcom of all-time.
The chalk made it through the second round for the most part, with only No. 6 The Wonder Years pulling off a big upset over No. 3 The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Again, top-seeded The Cosby Show struggled to advance in the Hillman College bracket, needing a buzzer-beater to beat No. 8 Gilligan's Island by 20 votes.
The Voting Schedule
Sweet Sixteen: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. March 27 to noon March 31.
Elite Eight: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. March 31 to noon April 3.
Final Four: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. April 3 to noon April 7.
Championship: Poll open from 12:15 p.m. April 7 to noon April 9.
We'll announce the big winner and celebrate at 12:30 p.m.
The Voting Booth
With only 16 shows left and eight "games" total to be played in the regional semifinals, we made it easier for you to vote and put all the battles into one poll. So start voting now in the Sweet 16 round of Sitcom Madness!
|
| Britney Spears photos |
Here's the official Pet Rock stance on the matter: Britney Spears was looking mad fly on the show. We're talking "Crossroads" hot. MTV VMAs hot. I'm just saying.
See clips from the Britney Show cameos here and more here.
- Mark La Monica
In what is sure to be the most talked-about TV cameo next week, here are two short clips of Britney Spears on "How I Met Your Mother." The show airs Monday, March 24 at 8 p.m. on CBS.
And if you need more of a Britney fix today, click into our Britney Spears section.
Pet Rock, like the rest of you, grew up watching television and continues to do so in our slightly later years.
So when Big Bank Hank suggested we do a 64-show tournament to determine television's best sitcom, the only question was "How the heck do we narrow down the field?"
Well, the bubble burst on about 25 shows, but such is life. This is Sitcom Madness, where there's no mercy for the marginally funny shows. Bring the funny or get off the air.
We know we've angered some folks with our field of 64, but again, such is life when you attempt these massive tournaments. Unlike the real March Madness, there's no consolation NIT tournament for TV shows. We call that "Canceled because of low ratings." The field of 64 considered all 30-minute sitcoms from across all eras. We go all the way back to "The Honeymooners" and stay current with "How I Met Your Mother."
You may be partial to the shows you grew up watching, which is fine with us. But the beauty of Sitcom Madness is that people of all ages grew up watching TV shows, including people right now who see "30 Rock" and "Entourage" as the best television can offer. Embrace all walks of life, we say here at Pet Rock.
Here's how Sitcom Madness works: We've got 64 shows and one giant bracket, just like the NCAA March Madness tournament. In each round of Sitcom Madness, you'll have a few days to vote as many times as you like for your favorite show. Pretty basic stuff. The real excitement here is seeing which shows advance. There are some extremely tough battles in the first round.
The four brackets are named after random characters, concepts and/or recurring themes from the bracket's No. 1 seed. Here's the breakdown:
Seinfeld is the No. 1 seed in the Art Vandelay bracket.
The Cosby Show is the No. 1 seed in the Hillman College bracket.
M*A*S*H* is the No. 1 seed in the 4077th bracket
Friends is the No. 1 seed in the Fun Bobby bracket.
The Voting Schedule
First round: Polls close at noon Monday, March 24.
Second round: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. March 24 to noon March 27.
Sweet Sixteen: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. March 27 to noon March 31.
Elite Eight: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. March 31 to noon April 3.
Final Four: Polls open from 12:15 p.m. April 3 to noon April 7.
Championship: Poll open from 12:15 p.m. April 7 to noon April 9.
We'll announce the big winner and celebrate at 12:30 p.m.
The Voting Booth
• Vote: The Art Vandelay Bracket
• Vote: The Hillman College Bracket
• Vote: The 4077th Bracket
• Vote: The Fun Bobby Bracket
'Dancing With the Stars' made its return this week and we met a whole new crew of C- and D-list celebrities hoping to fox trot and samba their careers out of the trash.
Monday night, the guys took to the dance floor and TV and radio show host Adam Carolla danced his heart out with partner Julianne Hough. Did anyone hear what I heard at the end of their routine? It was Adam allegedly calling Carrie Ann the B-word after getting a poor rating on their dance performance.
What gives? This guy is a professional comedian and that's all he could come up with? I really thought he'd be more clever in his response. Looks like the TV censors missed it as well because I distinctly heard him spew the B-word at her.
 |
| Dancing With the Stars photos |
On Wednesday's Howard Stern Show, Adam admits saying the B-word. "I said the word b*tch came out of my mouth, but it wasn't directed toward her. It was more like 'aint that a b*tch.'" Click here to watch the video on TMZ.com.
Looks like he's trying to generate buzz for his cheesey new movie "The Hammer." Adam complained in his annoying whiney voice to Howard Stern about how hard it is to juggle hours of dance practice, raise his twins, and do his radio show. Here's his ideal scenario: "What I would like to do is make it through a few weeks, get some publicity for the movie, meet everybody and then after three weeks it's enough," he said.
Good luck Julianne, your partner is a real "winner."
-- Corris Little
Few figures in pop culture these days are as polarizing as Ryan Seacrest. People either love or hate the new king of cross media.
Regardless of where you are in the debate, he is a multi-platform media mogul. From hosting duties on "American Idol" and "E! News Daily" to his work on the red carpet for E! at the big awards shows, from his executive producer role on "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" (Kim Kardashian is smokin' hot; I'm just saying) to his radio show on KIIS-FM in Los Angeles. Seacrest cashes checks the way people drink coffee in the morning.
After watching 12 minutes of "American Idol" on Tuesday night (bringing my grand total to 14 minutes in seven seasons), I've got a new theory on Mr. Seacrest. He may appear schmoey on TV to some people, but I believe that when he's just hanging out without a camera or microphone nearby, he hammers everyone he acts nice to when on the air. My guess is that if you're partying with him at a bar and the gloves are down, it's a free-for-all of derision and making fun of people.
To be clear, I've never met him. Nor do I have any knowledge to base this on. It's just a theory.
- Mark La Monica
Janet Jackson got sick this week and had to bail on her musical appearance on "Saturday Night Live" this week. That's probably not going to help her album sales for "Discipline," which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard with a shockingly unexcited 181,000 units sold.
NBC announced Wednesday that Long Island fave Mariah Carey will replace her on this week's show, hosted by Jonah Hill.
Have a looksee at her latest video for "Touch My Body." Can someone please explain to me why she keeps the robe open with some random computer fix-it guy in her home? Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it. Just curious.
- Mark La Monica
We're huuuuuuuge fans of Lauren Conrad here at Pet Rock and we're not ashamed to admit it.
Nor are we alone in our support of LC, what with "The Hills" being the highest rated show ever on MTV. By the way, "The Hills" returns to MTV on March 24.
In the meantime, LC made her Fashion Week debut at Smashbox Studios in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Seeing how we know you love Miss Conrad as much as we do, we put together a little photo gallery for you to enjoy. Click the pic above and have some fun. (Sorry, no Heidi-Spencer pix.)
- Mark La Monica
Lifetime finally figured out how to get men to watch (or DVR) its programming without the aid of a significant other forcing the issue.
It's a fairly simple formula, really. Take Alyssa Milano, who more than 20 years into her career is still smoking hot, make her a mobster and then mix in a little Sonny Corleone. Voila! See, fellas, you know you're interested now.
If this was on TNT or TBS or USA or Spike this Saturday night at 9 p.m., you know you'd watch it before going out.
- Mark La Monica
It's about damn time!
The "Saturday Night Live" Web site on NBC.com has finally joined the Internet age and started making its video clips embeddable and shareable. Now, instead of digging for links on their site and sending them around to your friends, you can just cut and paste some code into your blog.
Just how big a move is this for an entity that was among the best at putting in copyright claims on YouTube? Huge! Huge enough for NBC to run a promo during "SNL" this past weekend. Perhaps there's hope for this network now.
To celebrate, I've embedded three clips below:
1) The Christian Siriano/Project Runway spoof from this past week, the show's funniest from this weekend, played by Amy Poehler.
2) The Sinatra Group, one of Phil Hartman's best skits.
3) Natalie Portman's digital short, among the 3 best ever on "SNL."
The Christian Siriano/Project Runway spoof
The Sinatra Group
Natalie Portman's digital short
This might just be the most ridiculously funny video spoof in the history of ridiculously funny video spoofs.
OK, the story goes like this:
Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have been dating for a longtime. On Jimmy Kimmel Live in late January, Sarah debuted her music video about how she's sleeping with Matt Damon. One catch: She chose a different verb. And Matt Damon starred in the video. Watching him dance is almost as funny as the video.
On Sunday night's post-Oscar Kimmel show, Kimmel fired back with his video about how he's sleeping with Ben Affleck. Again, he chose a different verb. And this time around, Kimmel flaunted his clout by getting a ton of celebs to play along, including Brad Pitt posing as a delivery man and Joan Jett, Robin Williams, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Huey Lewis and others with a sort of "We Are the World" spoof.
It's quite genius. I'd love to embed the videos here, but given the frequent bleeping, I'm fairly certain I'd get bleeping canned. So the links are listed below. Note: All the cursing is bleeped out, but the tone is adult. Proceed at your own discretion. Another note: It's 11 minutes of pure hilarity.
• Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon video
• Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck video
- Mark La Monica
We here at Pet Rock are glad we're not advertising executives who have to sit in their board rooms this morning and explain to their bosses and shareholders how and why they wasted at least $3 million on Super Bowl commercials.
Most of them were whack this year. Some were extremely whack this year. Two earned a Pet Rock chuckle (Shaq the jockey for Vitamin Water and Naomi Campbell with the reptiles dancing to "Thriller" for LifeWater). Two earned a full-on Pet Rock laugh (the mouse beating up the guy with the Doritos, and the Bud Light roadies disguised as cheese and bread).
Otherwise, they were more boring than the first three quarters of the game.
There were a few ads that suggested we visit their Web site for more. So I did. Here goes:
Thrillicious.com (SOBE LifeWater): In terms of advancing the cause of the commercial, this one wins. They offered a few more videos that helped tell the story of this commercial. Quite amusing stuff. Here's a company that just earned a new customer, at least for now. Plus, Naomi Campbell is smoking hot. I'm just sayin'.
Mytalkingstain.com (Tide): Don't bother, unless you've already filmed a spoof of a movie scene.
GoDaddy.com: Their marketing gimmick of Danica Patrick's exposure was pretty lame. Here's hoping that Fox nixed the "commercial they wanted to air" because it was dumb, not because it was inappropriate.
Watch all the Super Bowl XLII commercials below, then vote for your favorite.
Hooray, hooray! The SAG Awards went off as scheduled. After that Golden Globe debacle, we finally get to see famous people accept statues and say thank you!
The real appeal of these award shows, however, are seeing the insane presenter pairings put together by the show's producers. They're meant to illicit a reaction from the people watching at home, and the sought-after reaction is "Wow! What kind of drugs were they doing in that planning meeting when they paired those two together?"
Well, here we go with Pet Rock's 12 presenter pairings we'd like to see at the Oscars (or at any other upcoming award show):
1) Tony Sirico and Miley Cyrus
2) Zac Efron and Busta Rhymes
3) America Ferrara and Diddy
4) Stephen Colbert and Dame Judi Dench
5) Perez Hilton and Danny DeVito
6) Denzel Washington and Ashley Olsen
7) Kevin Dillon and Russell Crowe
8) Alec Baldwin and Lindsay Lohan
9) Eva Longoria and Terry Bradshaw
10) Britney Spears and Barack Obama
11) Kevin Bacon and Andrew "Dice" Clay
12) Amanda Bynes and Burt Reynolds
- Mark La Monica
Remember when you were a kid and your parents subscribed to National Geographic magazine for you? Or when you'd ask your elementary school teacher to go to the library to read it?
Yeah, they all knew what you were doing: You wanted to see the topless ladies. It's cool, no one will rat you out anymore.
Well, here comes the National Geographic Channel's Web site with another awesome reason to check them out. And this time - surprise! - it once again includes people who don't wear shirts.
The show is called Fight Science, a show that analyzes the science behind the strength and techniques of mixed martial artists from the UFC, Special Ops and self-defense. Randy "The Natural" Couture, Tito Ortiz and Bas Rutten are among the UFC fighters in this show, which debuts Sunday, Jan. 27 at 8 p.m.
But it's the online Fight Science game that you really need to peep ASAP.
It's freaking awesome!
The people at the NG's Web site built an amazing online game (and free, too!) where you can test your skills. Everything from force to balance to strength to reflexes. One minute, you're punching a dummy to build up your strength, the next you're sticking your hand out trying to catch the katana sword on the handle instead of the blade. It's very "Miyagi, chopsticks and the fly," and very cool.
Create your own profile and challenge your friends. Or log in as me (UN: petrock; PW: petrock) and let's build an uber fighter to conquer the rest of the Internet world. Help me out on the balance beam thing. It's very "Flash Gordon vs. the Baron played by Tim Daly on that crazy labryinth platform thing with the spikes" and I stink at it. Strange, seeing how much I enjoy that movie still.
Either way, just click here and play.
One minute, best friends Street and Riggins are living it up in Mexico with a late assist from Lyla, and the next minute, Lyla is dating Street but sleeping with Riggins.
What the heck is going on in Dillon, Texas?
This is what happens when you get hooked on a show in its second season then spend the rest of the week trying to catch up on the first season. Let this be a lesson to all: Don't cross the TV season streams!
Back in September, I set my DVR to record the second season of "Friday Night Lights," figuring that it would give me something to do if and when all my other shows went off the air because of the writers' strike.
In December, I started watching the show. Within the first 30 minutes of the first episode, I was hooked. Once I caught up on Season 2, I decided to get completely caught up with the Dillon Panthers. Enter Netflix and Season 1 on DVD. Bad move!
Now, as I watch one from Column B on the weekend and then a few from Column A on other days, I have no clue what is happening. Why are Matt and Julie dating when they already broke up? How is it that Landry bedded Tyra when the two of them have yet to say anything to one another? Why is UT calling Coach Taylor when he already left TMU to return to Dillon? The Panthers are defending state champs but were on the brink of playoff elimination?
Let this be a lesson: Wait until one season of a show is completely over before watching previous seasons. Otherwise, you will go crazier than Michael J. Fox when he used different-colored boutaniers to help remember which girl he was with at the time when he had two dates to the same prom.
- Mark La Monica
That's right ladies, get jealous. Here I am with Mr. Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey himself on the day of our lovely nuptials. He's carrying the bouquet and making that sexy smirk, I'm looking dazed and slightly annoyed. Sounds about right.
Psych! We totally didn't get married. Want a similar pic for yourself, or better yet, a co-worker? Just click HERE and enjoy.
And watch the 'Made of Honor' trailer, premiering this summer, below.
- Anne Machalinski
What'cha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?!?
I was a Hulkamaniac back in the day, though he ran a distant second to the "Macho Man" Randy Savage in my book. I followed the three demandments: I said my prayers, ate my vitamins and trained hard.
So when the Hulkster speaks now, I'm obliged to listen. Here he is on CW11 talking about his stint as host of the new "American Gladiators."
- Mark La Monica
SEATTLE -- Leave it to me to find the one coffee house that doesn't have a wireless Internet connection!
Just to review: The Emerald City is home to Nintendo, Microsoft and just a few other technology companies you may have heard of once or twice.
And there's a coffee house -- in Seattle! -- that doesn't have wireless. Seriously? OK, no, seriously? That's like walking into a bagel store in New York City or Long Island and only being able to purchase rolls.
No wonder there is so much drama every week on "Grey's Anatomy." I used to think it was just good television writing, acting and production. Nope. Turns out it's just the ridiculousness of the Pacific Northwest, a land where even when it's sunny outside, it still rains. I wish that was just a bad joke, but it's the truth here today.
Now I have to sit in a Starbucks in Seattle to get online. That's about as pop culture as Ray's Famous Pizza in Manhattan.
- Mark La Monica
By Mark La Monica
It's true. I watch "The Hills." I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't, however, go online to watch the aftershow. That just seems a bit over the top.
But I got suckered into watching it last night when MTV put the show on television. Even with the live interview with Lauren Conrad and her greatest smile in television history, I'm ashamed I won't get back those 30 minutes of life. (That puts my career running total at 234 days I wish I could have back.)
But at least I'm not alone in the enjoyment received from watching "The Hills." It's the top-rated show on MTV, so I guess I'm doing something right.
But this full disclosure right here will cost me plenty of street cred: I was in 7-Eleven one day, happened to see Teen Vogue and looked in the masthead for LC and Whitney's name. No such luck. I put the magazine down and prayed the security camera ran out of tape.
Alas, such is life. Click on the Lauren Conrad photo above for some photos from last night's season finale.
By Mark La Monica
The wildly popular "Dancing With The Stars" has been a ratings bonzana for ABC. It encapsulates the reality competition genre that dominates programming these days. And it puts people in charge, somewhat, of their own future.
But don't fool yourself, Even in this era of user-generated content (aka, "Do our work for us"), there's way more going on with this show that makes it successful.
Here are 12 reasons why "Dancing With The Stars" works:
1) Famous people
We as a culture in this nation do love us some celebrities. But the true guilty pleasure in watching these celebs is two-fold:
• Watching celebs transform from regular non-dancers to graceful dancers
• Secretly hoping to watch famous people make a fool of themselves on national televison.
2) Insane clothing
The women all were shiny little things. The men all raided Sam Rothstein's closet at The Tangiers.
3) The music
It's all songs we already know, which never hurts. They're performed by people at the show, not by the original artists, which adds some intrigue (even if some of the versions are woefully painful to hear.) They don't talk about this, but the music is the secret energy of the show.
4) A gutsy host
Tom Bergeron drops bombs. Gotta respect a host who can easily alternate between kissing celebrity patoot and mocking celebrities to the face. On the show finale, Bergeron asked the earlier weeks' losers some questions. When he got to Jennie Garth (aka Kelly Taylor), he said on live television: "Jennie, uh, we were gonna ask you a question, but instead let's roll the clip of her falling down . . . Really, I don't have time for questions." Onions!
5) Train wrecks
There's also at least one star on the show that makes you say "I can't wait to watch this debacle." The train wreck was been played admirably this season by Wayne Newton and Mark Cuban, and in previous seasons by Tucker Carlson and Jerry Springer.
6) A crazy Italian
Having been raised by plenty of crazy Italians, let me say this: Never, never, never underestimate the influence loud, outspoken and demonstrative Italians can have on the things you do. Forza Bruno Tonioli!
7) Smokin hot chicks
Julianne Hough, Kym Webster, Cheryl Burke, Carrie Ann, etc., etc., etc.
8) Old-school classics
The creators and producers of "Dancing" do a remarkable job of landing a good array of talent to appeal to every demographic imaginable. That always yields a "Wow, I didn't know they were still around, but damn she/he still looks good" moment. This year's old-school classic: Jane Seymour. That woman is good medicine.
9) College flashbacks
Every man who had a girlfriend and schedule flexibility in their senior year of college during the 1990s was forced to take the ballroom dancing class. Some of those men are with those same women. Some are with different women. Those different women also took the ballroom dancing class. And now that those college guys of the 1990s have gone soft in their 30s, it's deja vu all over again.
10) Cast stability
Sure, each season revolves around different celebrities, but the dancers remain the same (give or take one or two here and there). That gives the viewer a chance to grow with the show and compare Karina Smirnoff's work with Slater last season with her work with Pretty Boy Floyd this season.
11) Career revival
Tell the truth: for those of you who didn't watch the extremely short-lived "ESPN Hollywood," who even knew Mario Lopez had skills beyond bad wrestling moves in a fake gym on Saturday mornings?
12) The dance moves
Yeah, they're pretty cool, too.
By Mark La Monica
With this season of "The Hills" winding down -- don't even front, you know you watch it, too -- it's time for some random thoughts about the show.
* Oh great, just what we needed, another Pratt on television acting hard.
* Seriously, I haven't seen that bad an acting job since Ben Affleck did that bathroom mirror scene in "Gigli." Nice work, whatever your name was, Spencer's sister. (It's not worth the Google, but L.C. nailed it with her caddy "She-Pratt" quip.)
* Anyone else notice the blatant show of guilt by part-mute, part-syllablic grunter Justin-Bobby at the end of the show? He put the hair in a ponytail and actually spoke. Prior to this episode, all we saw of him was long hair and mono-syllablic grunts.
Disclaimer time: We fully realize that the opinions we form about these people on "The Hills" are based solely on what we see on television. We fully realize that show producers and editors have a story to tell and that story is never the full story. Now back to the show.
* Where do these producers find these clowns, er, guys, to be on this show? I refuse to believe the girls are capable of continually finding these rampaging non-winners on their own. These brohams are an impressive collection of, well, we'll let you insert your preferred derogatory noun. Then again, maybe it's just an L.A. thing.
* We renew our opinions from last season: No way Heidi goes through with the wedding. If you come across any recent appearances by them, the guess here is that's just to not ruin the season finale.
* Slowly starting to gain some appreciation for Brody. Not really sure what he does in life, but he seems to stay above the fray.
* Lauren Conrad still has the greatest smile in television history.
* In recent episodes, they moved Whitney out of the office on assignments. Good to see her career develop, but I miss Whitney in her role of "Taxicab Confessions" driver. She basically would sit at her desk and just poke and prod L.C. with questions until she spilled. Great work if you can get it.
* OK, this episode trivia quiz is scary, disturbing, interesting, amusing, scary, disturbing, interesting and amusing.
As you spend Thanksgiving afternoon alternating between slow, deep breaths and belly rubbing to cure your food coma/impending nausea from overstuffing yourself on stuffing and turkey, consider turning your TV set to the Versus channel.
(If you can find it, that is. Tip: It's 603 on DirecTV and 146 on Cablevision.)
Normally, we wouldn't support a network that's more old-school ESPN (back when it was OSN, the Obscure Sports Network), but this Thanksgiving, beginning at 4:30 p.m., there's a "Rocky" movie marathon.
We feel it's always necessary to mention "Rocky" movie marathons when we come across them. I mean, really, it's Rocky Balboa, the greatest American movie hero since Bogart in "Casablanca."
Unless of course, you prefer to watch the 2-8 Jets attempt to beat the Cowboys on three days' rest. Yeah, didn't think so. Although, that would cure that whole nausea thing after your sixth turkey and gravy biscuit sandwich.
We must note that this marathon is more like a really long run. It starts with "Rocky II" and continues with "Rocky III" and "Rocky V."
I've always said "Rocky V" gets a bad rap. I applaud Versus for being the only station gutsy enough to include "Rocky V" in the marathon. Most stations usually stop after "Rocky IV."
However, how can you have a Rocky marathon with "Rocky" and "Rocky IV?" Seriously. "Rocky" started it all, and "Rocky IV" had James Brown, pre-Flavor Flav Brigitte Nielsen and Apollo Creed's mustache. I know the Cold War is over, but c'mon. That didn't stop the Olympics, did it?
But at least we get the famous "hug in the ocean" scene in "Rocky III."
As the re-invention of storylines on "Grey's Anatomy" continues to unfold -- pretty decently, too -- I wanted to pass along a viewing tip I learned last night.
Sure, Dr. Meredith Grey is still smokin' and the new dynamic between Shepherd and Sloan makes for amusing television for men and drooling television for women. But be careful with that.
As Grey & Co. lure you in with hot doctors and intriguing plotlines, we here at Pet Rock advise you not to eat while watching the show.
You just can't know when you're going to look down at a dumpling on your plate then look up and see an exploding brain on your tv.
It's a dangerous game to play. Better to wait to eat, or wait to watch. Either way, we're not responsible for happens if you do not heed this Blogger General's warning.
