Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

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Pet Rock celebrates the Jan. 16 release of "Notorious" with Biggie Smalls Week

When I first started Biggie Smalls Week on Monday, I was excited to rank his best songs for Top 5 Thursday. Then when I sat down Wednesday night to finalize the list I'd been thinking about all week, I regretted the idea entirely.

It's way too hard to narrow down the list to what I believe to be Biggie's five best songs. (Of course, this is just my opinion and I suspect many of you will agree with some and disagree with others, so use the comments and let's discuss it.)

The truest of Biggie fans know his best stuff overall probably comes from his freestyles and that Mr. Cee tape. So, we eliminated those from contention because that would make this a four-month project. Also immediately removed from consideration was anything produced and released posthumously. (Yes, technically, the "Life After Death" double CD was released 15 days after his murder, but it was written, recorded and produced while Biggie was alive.)

With these parameters in place, I still racked my brain trying to determine Biggie's five best songs. (Why not rank the top 6 or 7, you ask? Because it's Top 5 Thursday and I don't mess around with brand names.)

For a while, it looked like "Ready to Die" -- Biggie's debut album -- would produce all five spots. But after some serious study and a little "I just feel that . . . ," I went off the grid and pulled out the "Who's the Man?" soundtrack.

Here's my Top 5 Thursday: Best of Biggie edition. Again, use the comments to discuss the list and share your choices for Top 5. (Note: The links to Biggie's songs open to new windows because they contain the original lyrics which include cursing and other strong language. It was next to impossible to find clean edits, aside from the No. 1 spot.)

5) Party and Bull----

Still a bit raw, Biggie comes closest to the real rawness he displayed on all those freestyle tapes and street corner rhyming that helped propel him to the big-time. This is probably why it just edged out "Warning" by the narrowest of margins in my brain for the No. 5 slot.

4) One More Chance (Hip Hop Remix)

First things first: This song was good on the album, but the remix on the single was even better. Then came the Hip Hop remix, also on the single, that sampled "Droppin' Science" by Marley Marl and Craig G. Quite possibly the ultimate Biggie song for DJs back in the day, too. Can't tell you how many times I used to put that single on both turntables and mess around with the opening lyrics of "First things first . . . " Of course, every other DJ did that, too.

3) Unbelievable

B-I-G-G-I-E, aka B-I-G. Get it, Biggie. Yes, indeed, Biggie Smalls is the illest.

2) Big Poppa

Count the number of times you've said, "I love it when you call me Big Poppa." Now come back in two days to see what No. 1 on this list is. In the meantime, I'll be throwing my keys to Lil Cease after you call your crew and I call my crew so we can rendezvous at the bar around 2.

1) Juicy

After struggling so much to get this list as perfect as possible (in my brain), how can I be so sure that "Juicy" is an undisputed No.1? Simple. All I have to do is write "It was all a dream, I used to read up Word Up Magazine" and anyone worth his or her salt knows what to do next.

Biggie link of the day: A Ballad for the Fallen Soldier [Vibe Magazine]

Back in July 2008 during Tom Cruise Week here at Pet Rock, we put forth the top five movies of Tom Cruise's career.

After seeing "Valkyrie" last night, we're back at it again with Cruise's five best military-themed movies. Here's the list, based on my brain. Feel free to share your thoughts.

5) "Born on the Fourth of July"

Not exactly a true war movie, but it's military based and it's such an excellent film that it deserves a spot on this list.

4) "Taps"

This is old-school Tom Cruise. So old (1981), you might have even forgotten he made this movie about military cadets defending their school against real estate developers that co-starred Sean Penn, Timothy Hutton, Billy Van Zandt and George C. Scott.

3) "Valkyrie"

Really good movie. Cruise did a solid job as Claus von Stauffenberg, the German colonel who tried to assassinate Adolf Hitler. I'm a big fan of good endings to a movie and this one was impressively directed and edited. If Cruise could have pulled off a German accent, "Valkyrie" would be No. 2 on this list.

2) "A Few Good Men"

Buoyed by strong performances by Jack Nicholson and Demi Moore, this movie has earned a spot in the rotation on AMC. Cruise does a great job turning from plea-bargaining attorney to real trial lawyer.

1) "Top Gun"

No matter what the list is involving Tom Cruise, this will always be No. 1. Such staying power. How do we know this? Because every time you see it on television, you stop what you're doing at watch it.

(ABC Photo)

"Grey's Anatomy" officially jumped the sharked with its Izzie Stephens sleeping with a dead guy story arc. But are other symptons plaguing this show. Most of which has nothing to do with the acting and everything to do with the writing.

We salute Shonda Rhimes and her creative team for turning Dr. Mark Sloan into a funny and somewhat-human person. That was a great turn.

But "Grey's" has some serious health care concerns to address. We want to believe "Grey's Anatomy" can be good again, so Top 5 Thursday wrote some prescriptions that we think might do the trick.

1) Kill Denny Duquette . . . again!

He's eye candy for the ladies, we understand that. (And we can't really complain since we love Ellen Pompeo.) But Duquette (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) dead. As in no longer alive. As in not able to walk and talk and speak and have sex with Izzie. The original storyline between Duquette and Izzie was great. Bringing it back after he died two seasons ago is about as lame an idea as there's been since the "Bobby Ewing didn't die, it was just a dream" manuever in "Dallas." How much longer until Izzie takes a pregnancy test?

2) Restore George O'Malley

Plot and character development is huge in television. It's what keeps us interested in a show. Or, in this case, completely turns us off. What they've done to George should be illegal. They took an intriguing character (OK, he was sometimes whiny, too) and turned him into a shell of a character. No wonder the actor T.R. Knight wants off the show. Give George some depth again instead of making him an incompetent person.

3) Open up Karev's secret chest a little bit more

They keep hinting at the mysterious past of Dr. Alex Karev. You know, the past that's made him a surly, short-tempered, out-for-himself jerk. Don't get confused here, Karev is a great and complex character and that shouldn't change. It's just that it's time to open him up more and really get into those inner demons of his.

4) A good two-parter

November sweeps week came and went and did we even notice that at Seattle Grace? Nope. So maybe we'll have to wait until February sweeps before we get a really good two-parter in the Emerald City. Some sort of big medical drama that requires every doctor in the hospital to be at their very best. Heck, it could even act as the jumping-off point for another intern to become a real character. (Think George and the heart in the elevator.)

5) Cancel "Private Practice"

I can't honestly advocate this since the show is starting to pick up, but seeing how Shondaland is doing this show, too, and "Grey's Anatomy" is slipping, devoting all the time to "Grey's" would help prevent it from coding.

(Ross Halfin)

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. The new Guns N' Roses album "Chinese Democracy" drops this Sunday, Nov. 23 (although we won't believe until three days after the CD jewel case breaks), so why not use Top 5 Thursday to count down the best GN'R songs of all time?

Bad idea. Way too many to decide. But after careful analysis, hours of brain-wracking and some consulting, Pet Rock is proud to put forth its thoughts on the five best GN'R songs. Understand that we only have five slots to fill, hence Top 5 Thursday, so while you may suggest another song, ask yourself this: what song would I replace?

5) Paradise City

An all-time classic. An instant arena rocker. Works for any place you want it to work.

4) You Could Be Mine

Just about as hardcore as you'll get with GN'R. Sure it's from the "Terminator 2" soundtrack

3) Patience

Every hair band needs a monster ballad. This one just edged out November Rain, even if that video had Stephanie Seymour.

2) Welcome to the Jungle

According to the book "Watch You Bleed" by Stephen Davis, the most famous Axl squeal in history -- "You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby!" -- came about from a trip he took to New York (when he was just Bill Bailey) with a friend and wound up two country bumpkins walking around the South Bronx in the late 1970s. Years later, it became a narrative for the L.A. music scene on the Sunset Strip . . . and entrance music for too many teams and athletes. Still, tremendous song.

1) Sweet Child o' Mine

The most recognizable intro to a song in the last 30 years. A top 10 rock song of all time. A top 10 metal song of all time (although it's technically not a metal song, as reader SexyMike pointed out below, but since GN'R was always grouped into with metal groups when it came to awards and such, I decided to include it in this grouping, too). A top 10 song of all time. Seriously, has a song (non-slow jam) that better describes how a man could feel about that special woman in his life ever been written?

Honorable mention: Yesterdays, November Rain, Used to Love Her, Don't Cry.

And before you get mad at my selections, let me appease you with Guns N' Roses then and now photos.

No one on the corner has swagger like T.I., Kanye West, Jay-Z and Lil Wayne.

OK, sure, that's very debatable from a historical perspective, but in the modern-day world of rap, that's about as heavy-hitter a lineup as you'll find on one track.

The single "Swagger Like Us" peaked at No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100, but it's still blazing the radio airwaves. Partially because of the M.I.A. "Paper Planes" sample, partially because of the names on the label and partially because the song is pretty good.

Only eight weeks into its official release as a single off T.I.'s "Paper Trail" album, it's way too early to discuss the song's historical impact on rap. Will they reminisce over "Swagger" in years to come? We'll find out if and when it makes it onto the old school circuit.

But it got me thinking: What are the best rap collaborations of all time? Top 5 Thursday attempts to sort it out. No doubt some of you will take issue with the list, but intelligent discourse on such nonessential issues in life must count for something in this world.

For the purpose of quantifying a rap collaboration, we're not talking about that yang they play nowadays. You know, when one rapper drops a hook on another's single (Sorry, T-Pain). Nor do we consider guest spots on another's single (Would you call Jay-Z's little breakdown verse on Mariah Carey's "Heartbreaker" a collaboration?).

A collaboration consists of rappers who are not in the same group, nor ever were, joining forces to put together a hot single. (That eliminates anything done by the Wu-Tang Clan since they were first a group, then had solo albums, then recorded as a group.)

So here we go with Pet Rock's Top 5 rap collaborations of all time.

5) "Nothin' but a G Thang" - Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg

One, two, three and to the four, Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre is at my door.

4) "Scenario" - A Tribe Called Quest and Leaders of the New School

Who's that? Brooooooown!

3) "Flava in ya Ear (Remix)" - Craig Mack, Notorious B.I.G., Rampage, L.L. Cool J, Busta Rhymes

Just in case the original version didn't put you over the edge in the mid-1990s, the remix did.

2) "Dwyck" - Gangstarr and Nice & Smooth

Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is.

1) "Burn Hollywood Burn" - Public Enemy, Ice Cube, Big Daddy Kane

Three of the hardest voices in rap history. Two of the top 10 rappers of all time. One song with a point of view beyond how awesome they are, how much money they have, how many cars they drive. Untouchable.

Now listen to the songs again in the playlist below and share your thoughts.

Honorable Mention: "California Love" (Tupac and Dr. Dre), "The Symphony" (Marley Marl, Craig G, Masta Ace, Kool G Rap, Big Daddy Kane), "Da Rockwilder" (Method Man and Redman), "Self Destruction" (Just about everyone ever).

"Law & Order" -- the original series, not its Folex knockoffs -- enters its 19th season on television Wednesday, Nov. 5, at 10 p.m. on NBC.

Pet Rock can't even begin to explain its excitement over this news. Pet Rock and "L&O" go way back to the days of a common room in college at 3 a.m. on TNT every night in the mid-1990s.

To celebrate the earlier-than-expected return of "Law & Order" (was supposed to start up again in January 2009), Top 5 Thursday counts down the best Assistant District Attorney second chairs in the show's history.

5) Connie Rubirosa (played by Alana De La Garza)

She's good. Very good. But through no fault of her own, she doesn't have the show experience yet to catapult above the others on this list. Make no mistake, though, she's a tough cookie.

4) Jamie Ross (played by Carey Lowell)

Passionate about her causes, she was also loyal to the law and Jack McCoy (Sam Waterson), not an easy combination given his ability to rewrite the law every week.

3) Claire Kincaid (played by Jill Hennessy)

The only ADA to work with both Ben Stone (Michael Moriarty) and McCoy. She was intelligent and unafraid. With Stone, she was more subordinate. Under McCoy's guidance, she pushed the envelope.

2) Paul Robinette (played by Richard Brooks)

Your memory needs to extend back to the show's first three seasons (1990-93) or at least the early days of reruns of TNT. Robinette was the legal genius behind the stuff-shirted, by-the-book Stone.

1) Abbie Carmichael (played by Angie Harmon)

She was a no-nonsense Texas woman who had no pity on anyone or anything sitting at the defendant's table. Of course, her raspy, sultry voice didn't hurt matters any.

Earlier this fall I blogged about the lack of villains on the new "90210" and how this would ultimately be the show's demise ... that is, unless someone stepped up and took control.

This got me thinking about TV villains in general. Since my favorite TV genre is teen dramas, here are my Top 5 in that category. But first, big ups to siblings MADouble and Ms. Clairice for their insights -- maybe we have a love of this type of show hardwired into our DNA?

On to the list...

5) Best up-and-coming villain: Adrianna Duncan, "90210"

In the first couple episodes of "90210," Adrianna played a bit part. She's the pill-popping drama chick and not much else. But then Annie took her lead role in "Spring Awakening" and game on -- she went to Ty's hotel room, turned on the shower and stripped down to just a towel. Annie came knocking, looking for her man, and there Adrianna was, all big-eyed surprise, wondering if Ty had invited her, too. After splitting up the couple she tried to start a catfight at some fashion party ... kinda lame for now, but one can only hope she'll become more evil with time.

4) Best reality TV villain: Spencer Pratt, "The Hills"

Spencer, pictured here with his lady love, Heidi, is not only evil in his actions, he also looks like a super creep. There's something about his darting eyes and strange, flesh-colored beard that is all wrong. He split Heidi up from basically all of her friends, threatens to never speak to his own sister ever again, started a sex-tape rumor about Lauren, insults Heidi's family ... there's nothing good to say about him and he basically has no friends. Oh, except for Heidi.

3) Best villainous pair: Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass, "Gossip Girl"

They're no longer a couple on the show, but they seem destined to be together. Blair has tried to sabotage everyone that has ever threatened her queen-bee status, from little Jenny Humphrey to her own BFF, Serena. She's conniving and manipulative and almost every action she takes is sinister. Now take that and multiply it by 100 and you have Chuck. Both of them show weaknesses, but not for long.

2) Best villainous cougar: Julie Cooper, "The O.C."

Straight from MADouble: "The quintessential money grubbing mom. Went from sleeping with her husband to sleeping with a grandpa to sleeping with her daughter's ex-boyfriend. Manipulative, vindictive, and yet somehow still was capable of being "good" on occasion. That is key, because every time she did something good, there was always some ulterior motive that would come out two episodes later and cement her place as the show's top villain." Well stated.

1) Best all-around villain: Valerie Malone, "Beverly Hills, 90210"

To quote Ms. Clairice: " I feel like I don't really need to explain this one." But I will, again, by quoting MADouble: "The ultimate schemer. Made a great debut on "90210" by acting like a small town rube and ending the episode smoking a joint and telling a friend that the Beverly gang was a bunch of avocado heads. Really did not have any trick that was too nefarious to pull. Fake a pregnancy and abortion, check. Fake her friend robbing people so she could catch her and be a hero, check. Sleep with everyone and their brother, check." That about sums it up.

There are, of course, a couple of others that didn't make the cut, but were close, like Meghan from "Felicity" and Arvin Sloane from "Alias," but really, these felt a bit out of genre and weren't that bad when you get right down to it.

Who'd I miss? Maybe my memory serves me incorrectly, but I can't think of any real villains from "Dawson's Creek," "My So Called Life" or "Party of Five," also excellent teen dramas. And I've never really watched "One Tree Hill" or "Gilmore Girls" -- any on those shows?

Getty Images Photos and AP Photos

We're still not sure how these things keep happening to us, but Pet Rock scored an interview Wednesday night with LL Cool J. He was promoting his new line of clothing and we just happened to show up with a video camera and microphone.

I'll post the video later on Thursday, just as soon as I can finish up the edit and soundtrack. I've interviewed LL Cool J before and nothing I'll ever write will top that "report." It was quite rich. So sad to have peaked so early in life.

But at least this time around, you'll be able to listen to the Pet Rock exclusive LL Cool J freestyle!

During our 8-minute chat, I asked LL about his favorite song to perform. "Rock the Bells!" he said. Hard to dispute that. But is it his best song?

This week's edition of Top 5 Thursday looks at what we believe to be LL Cool J's five songs that will stand the test of time. With more than 20 years and 13 albums (his latest effort, "Exit 13," dropped on Sept. 9), it's no easy task. Here goes:

5) "I Can't Live Without My Radio"

If they still existed, his JVC would no doubt vibrate the concrete.

4) "Around the Way Girl"

The first cassingle I ever bought. Still have it. No word on the whereabouts of my Fendi bag and a bad attitude.

3) "Mama Said Knock You Out"

Back in my college DJ days, I broke this one out on vinyl for the first time in years and the party erupted.

2) "Rock the Bells"

Such a strong song in every regard, and when you're starvin' like Marvin for a Cool J song, you can't go wrong with letting your ears eat this.

1) "I'm Bad"

No rapper can rap quite like he can. He'll take a muscle bound jerk and put his face in the sand.

"Swing Vote" hits theaters Friday. I know, I know, it's a Kevin Costner non-sports movie, but it could be decent. Of course, it could be awful. All depends on your point of view and whatever external things you've got running through your head when you see it.

But it is a political comedy, which in my world, is amusing. And what with the DNC coming up soon (hint: Pet Rock might be there in Denver) and that whole big November election thing, it seems like the right time for Top 5 Thursday to count down our favorite political comedy movies.

5) Dick
A pair of ditzy teenage girls, played by Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams, become Nixon's official White house dog walkers and subsequently the "Deep Throat" sources for Woodward and Bernstein in the Watergate scandal.

4) Head of State
Not the best work from Chris Rock, but still funny enough to make the cut, ya heard!

3) Election
Sure, this movie was set in a high school, but don't get confused. Reese Witherspoon manipulates the world around her to try and win the student body president election. This movie is hilarious in every direction.

2) Wag the Dog
Robert DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman on the same screen. Bold. And they conspire to create a fictitious war against longtime archenemy Albania. Witty, smart satire throughout.

1) Spies Like Us
Let me get this straight: It's got Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd at the height of their comedic genius going into Pakistan to sneak into the Soviet Union and steal their nuclear missile at the zenith of the Cold War? Yes it does.

In honor of the Jets opening training camp today, the Giants opening camp on Friday and the rest of the NFL beginning their seasons this weekend, Top 5 Thursday salutes the best football movies of all-time.

We ranked them based on the enjoyment of watching it the first time, the re-watchability factor, the "Oh damn, [insert movie name here] is on TNT right now, looks like I'm not going anywhere for a while" factor, the quality of the football scenes, the storylines and the staying power of certain scenes.

5) The Longest Yard

We're talking the original one here, of course. Burt Reynolds, sans mustache, is always a sight to behold. Granted, in the remake, at least we get to see Michael Irvin on the field one more time. But it can't compare to the original.

4) "Friday Night Lights"

Just plain awesome in all categories. Huge in re-watchability. Intensely shot football scenes. Good storyline. Not a happy ending, either, which makes it even better.

3) "Any Given Sunday"

Perhaps a controversial placement, but we point to the hilarity of James Woods as the team physician, the awesomeness of Al Pacino's pregame speech toward the end, the sawing in half of Willie Beamen's SUV by LT, and of course, "My name is Willie . . . Willie Beamen."

2) "Varsity Blues"

Ali Larter. Whipped-cream bikini. 'Nuff said. (But we'll say more.) This movie kills in the re-watchability department, and the football scenes are quite good. It also has that campy/endearing quality.

1) "Remember the Titans"

Oh look, it's Denzel Washington playing the righteous man who laughs in the face of adversity and leads the good in triumph over evil. But, damn, he does it so well.

Enjoy some clips below. (NOTE: A few cuss words got through because no one posts TV edits on YouTube. Proceed with caution.)

Honorable Mention: "All the Right Moves," "The Program," "Rudy" and "Necessary Roughness."

(Handout photos from Newsday archives)

Happy birthday, Tommy!

That's right, folks, it is Tom Cruise's birthday today. Quite the fortuitous discovery seeing how this is still Tom Cruise Week here at Pet Rock. Wish we could say we knew it all along, but that would be a bigger lie than "Lions for Lambs" was a great movie.

But before we light up Tommy Boy in YouTube Friday, we'll support the cause with a look at his top 5 movies in our opinion.

5) All the Right Moves

Can high school football player Tom Cruise escape the tough coach and the steel mill and land a college scholarship? Seeing how this movie was made before 1992, you know he can.

4) Born on the Fourth of July

Good movie, great mustache!

3) Risky Business

The quintessential coming of age movie for dudes, this movie just gets better with time. And Rebecca De Mornay never looked better!

2) A Few Good Men

Do we really need to ask if you ordered the code red or can han handle the truth?

1) Top Gun

That's right, a naval aviator. We were inverted. She's lost that loving feeling. I feel the need, the need for speed. You're three-quarters of a mile out, call the ball, Maverick.

OK, we'll stop now. It has been 22 years and "Top Gun" is still among the best guy movies ever.

-- Mark LaMonica

Lil' Wayne dropped his new album "Tha Carter III" this week and it set off some alarms in the Pet Rock office. Adam "Weezie" Abramson professed his adoration for the rapper and all things dirty dirty.

While I acknowledge the effect the Dirty South has had on the rap game, I feel it's my job to educate the junior Pet Rocker and all those out there who believe Weezie is the best rapper of all time.

He's not even close. That's not a dig at him at all, so don't misunderstand. He's got skills (I still recite his verse on "Bling Bling" when need be -- usually once a week), but the five seminal voices of rap came when rocking the bling was called flossing and when there were only old R&B and soul albums to sample from.

In what I believe to be the most entertaining conversation among those raised in the hip -hop generations, I will proudly list my top 5 rap MCs of all time. What the heck, it is Top 5 Thursday anyway, so it makes even more sense.

I stand firmly behind all five, in the order listed, but fully respect everyone's opinion on the matter. Comment instructions are below the list, as are my honorable mentions and a video playlist. Understand that on Top 5 Thursday, we only have room for five (hence the name, so don't overreact to those missing. Rather, make your case in the comments. This is not about who made the biggest-selling songs or the best club-bangers. This isn't voting for the all-star game. This is voting for the Hall of Fame.

5) Guru

Do we begin with "Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis?" Or should we start with "Don't wanna play the field because I got lovin' at home base?" Or maybe "Furthermore, I implore, that as a soldier of war, I go in only to win, and be the holder of more . . . trophies and titles and triumphs." Backed by DJ Premier, the greatest beat creator ever, Guru was authoritative on the mic and owns a somewhat raspy voice that no one can come close to replicating. Perhaps not the biggest name in terms of mass appeal, true rap heads take it personal when Guru gets slighted by so many.

4) Tupac

Joke all you want about how he put out more albums after his death almost 12 years ago than while he was alive: Tupac controlled the microphone as good as anyone on this list. He was controversial, but I believe that was more of a state of the times in the early 1990s and the public's backlash toward gangsta rap. Tupac had more range in his raps than he gets credit for. In the Biggie vs. Tupac battle -- musically speaking, that is -- Tupac wins.

3) KRS-One

The teacher. The philosopher. The rapper. The freestyler. KRS-One had the bravado and the presence to back it up. On Funkmaster Flex's 1995 CD "60 Minutes of Funk, Vol. I," KRS-One closed it out with a freestyle.

He proclaimed:

"I bet they'll mention me
In the next century
'KRS-One innovator in early rap poetry'
Simultaneously, you will be forgotten
In the year 2000, 'Criminal Minded' will still be rockin'."

Well, in the year 2008 and every year afterward, "Criminal Minded" will still be rockin'. The song was released in 1987.

2) Chuck D

Arguably the most powerful voice to ever rock the mic, Chuck D can still shake the foundation. Not many rappers can produce socially conscious music and classic hits in the same song. Chuck D could. Every time I hear him on "Welcome to the Terrordome," "Fight the Power," "You're Gonna Get Yours" and "Brothers Gonna Work It Out," I wish I had seen Public Enemy in concert during its heyday.

1) Rakim

Anyone who argues against Rakim as the greatest microphone fiend of all-time should be forced to have his or her jaw wired for 12 years. Need proof? "Paid in Full" is one freakin' verse, and it's a gold standard for rap music.

Need more proof? OK, here goes:

• "It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a strong rhyme to step to."
• "Thought I was a donut, you tried to glaze me."
• "Thinkin' of a master plan, there ain't nothin but sweat inside my hand."
• "I'll take 7 emcees, put 'em in a line. And add 7 more brothers who think they can rhyme. Well, it'll take another 7 before I go for mine, now that's 21 emcees ate up at the same time."

Below is a video playlist of some of these rappers' work. (Note: I scoured YouTube late into the night to find as many clean edits as possible. In some cases, the original version is used because the song is integral to the artist, so this is our parental-advisory warning sticker.)

Pet Rock also welcomes your comments on this list, as well as your top 5 lists. Let's hear your case for them, too. I always love this conversation, so let's get it going and no hating allowed.

Honorable Mention (listed alphabetically): Big Daddy Kane, LL Cool J, MC Lyte, Nas, Notorious B.I.G., Q-Tip.

- La Monica

We've been hearing about "Iron Man" (see below for video and showtimes) for roughly the past three years. Tons of hype. We're talking "Aquaman" hype. Will it live up to the hype? We won't know until Sunday evening when the weekend box office projections are made public.

What we do know is that Robert Downey Jr. is the star of this film and today is Thursday. Combine the two and we've got a countdown of our favorite Robert Downey Jr.'s characters ("Iron Man" not included) in a little segment we like to call Top 5 Thursday.

5) Leo Wiggins in "Johnny Be Goode": Long ago, we used to contend that this was No. 1 on the list. Further insight into our thought process revealed that this was based solely on under-ratedness of this movie as an '80s classic. We now see the error of our ways.

4) Julian Wells in "Less Than Zero": Downey Jr. plays a drug addict in L.A. in the 1980s. Not much else to say about that aside from "brilliant casting."

3) Charlie Chaplin in "Chaplin": Downey Jr. was so good in his potrayal of the early comic genius that he nabbed an Academy Award nomination for best actor. Add this to your Netflix list if you don't recall the film.

2) Wayne Gale in "Natural Born Killers": A great (and crazy) movie in general, Downey shows his true acting range in this role as a TV newsman tracking Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis on a murder spree.

1) Derek Lutz in "Back to School": Anyone who heckles a diver earns a No. 1 spot on any list!

- La Monica

More about "Iron Man"
• Movie review: "Iron Man"

• Photos from the movie

• "Iron Man" showtimes on LI

I've been struggling with this list for the past two weeks, ever since I found out the April 18 release date of Al Pacino's new movie, "88 Minutes."

We all know Pacino is among the best actors of the past two generations, perhaps even three. And the old Pacino-DeNiro debate usually ends in whichever actor's movie you've seen last. So, if you watched "Goodfellas" this week and "Scarface" two weeks ago, you're more likely to say DeNiro is better, and vice versa.

But here in Top 5 Thursday, we don't have that luxury. Here in Top 5 Thursday, we have to rank Pacino's five best characters. Yes, that's impossible. So, for one week only, we're going to Top 8 Thursday, partially because Pacino is that good, and partially to play off the "88 Minutes" movie title.

Before I countdown what I believe to be Pacino's eight best characters, please understand that we're talking about just that: Pacino's characters, not the movie overall. And also understand that with a resume such as his, some characters may jump out at you but are not listed here. In that case, ask yourself this question: Which character would you replace with your choice? Feel free to post your comments.

Usually, I throw a little comment after each item the lists, but if you don't know these characters, then you should stop reading now.

And now for the top 8 Al Pacino characters:

8) Lefty Ruggiero in "Donnie Brasco"
7) Lowell Bergman in "The Insider"
6) Ricky Roma in "Glengarry Glen Ross"
5) Tony Montana in "Scarface"
4) Lt. Col. Frank Slade in "Scent of a Woman"
3) Frank Serpico in "Serpico"
2) Sonny in "Dog Day Afternoon"
1) Michael Corleone in "The Godfather Part II"

- La Monica

And now for some video clips of Pacino on Inside the Actor's Studio.

Networks finally ran out of celebrities to cast on reality shows, so they're turning to their kids for help.

MTV debuts "Rock the Cradle" on Thursday night at 10 p.m., which features nine offspring of famous musicians competing for a record deal.

Sounds tragic in a lot of ways. But, at least we can say MTV is producing a show about music.

For some of you, these next two sentences may be hard to believe: There was a time when MTV aired original shows as a way to break up videos and promote different genres of music. Music Television, a network once aptly named, created programs about music and pop culture and would air them. No, seriously, it's true.

This was before The Real World and The Hills, before True Life and MTV Cribs.

Top 5 Thursday remembers all too well those days when the television was about music and not about, well, television. So here we go with our Top 5 countdown of the best old-school shows from MTV:

5) Headbanger's Ball

Metal heads partied deep into the night when this show came along. If not for host Riki Rachtman, there's a lot of music none of us would ever have been introduced to and spent money on back then.

4) 120 Minutes

When alternative music hit the scene, MTV went nuts. It soon became mainstream to be alternative. And even if you weren't too into this music, you watched this show on Sunday nights.

3) Beavis & Butthead

Arguably the most controversial show in MTV history. It started out as an excuse to play bad videos and then blew up into a full-fledged pop culture phenomenon. Love 'em or hate 'em, you watched this show and yelled "Kick me in the jimmy!" on more than one occasion. It's OK, you don't have to lie. We know you did. Heck, I did it on Monday.

2) Remote Control

An MTV classic and its first game show that paved the way for all those silly shows we watched (and loved) during the network's Spring Break coverage. Adam Sandler and Denis Leary got their starts here, as did Colin Quinn and the lovely Kari Wuhrer. Buzz-bin.com will tell you more about this show just in case you don't remember it. Buzz-bin.com will also show you video clips of "Beat the Bishop" and other elements of the show just in case you remember it and want to watch.

1) Yo! MTV Raps

Fab 5 Freddy. Ed Lover. Dr. Dre. 'Nuff said . . . but we'll say more anyway. The Ed Lover Dance. Rappers showing their normal side instead of acting hard. A feeling of hanging out in your basement with Ed, Dre and whatever big-name or up-and-coming rap artists came on the show that week. Fab 5 Freddy interviewing people on location and always being positive no matter what the interview subject said. (I still don't think he ever listened to what they said, but it was compelling TV.) By the way, MTV is honoring the 20-year anniverary of the show's start this April. Check the schedule and watch old clips at yo.mtv.com (and let me know if you beat a score of 8,000 on the Yo! quiz).

P.S. Other shows we liked but not in our top 5: The Cut, House of Style, Beauty and the Beach, Singled Out, Fade to Black.

- Mark La Monica

Demi Moore made the rounds on the talk shows this week to promote her new movie "Flawless" and to remind us all that she's still quite fly.

It also calls to mind how awesome her voice is. Seriously, think about this: If she were calling you every derisive name imaginable, with her sexy voice, would you really care if she meant it? I think not.

Using that theory, Top 5 Thursday salutes the sexiest famous female voices. We're dealing strictly with voices here, not anything else, so in some instances you may have to divorce yourself of any preconceived notions about the person or persons included.

It's strictly a list of female voices we want to hear talk to us about whatever they want. There may be some other nice voices out there to listen to, but these five will drive you mad -- in the best way possible. They could praise George W. Bush or read from an advanced microeconomics textbook and we'd listen to every word.

5) Mariah Carey: Mimi has one of the most powerful singing voices ever, but we'd rather hear her talk and that is absolutely not a pot shot at the No. 1 selling female artist of all-time.

• See more Mariah Carey photos

4) Angie Martinez: If you ever listened to Hot 97 in the afternoon for more than a day, you know exactly what I'm talking about. And remember a bunch of years ago when she took a leave from the airwaves to have a child, how happy were you when she returned? I flipped the switch to Power 105 a while ago, but if I'm in the car between 3-7 p.m., I'm clicking to FM 2 on car radio presets for a little Angie Martinez.

3) Angie Harmon: Was there a sadder day than when you found out she was leaving "Law & Order" and your weekly dose of that intoxicating Texas voice would be moved to the random rerun on TNT?

2) Lindsay Lohan: How does a Long Island gal avoid the Long Island accent and develop that raspy voice? Who cares how, just keep talking.
• See more Lindsay Lohan photos

1) Demi Moore: The queen of sexy voices. Damn you, Ashton Kutcher!

- Mark La Monica

National Enquirer broke the news late Wednesday morning that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer and has about five weeks to live.

Later in the day, Swayze's rep confirmed the news about pancreatic cancer but said the five weeks to live is exaggerated.

"All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic," rep Annett Wolf said in a statement.

Swayze's career took off when he put Baby in a corner and starred in "Dirty Dancing." It took off again in "Ghost" with Demi Moore. These are two of the biggest chick flicks of all time, and help make Swayze one of the biggest chick flick actors of all time.

However, if go beyond those two movies and study his filmography, Swayze starred in some fairly solid guy flicks.

In light of the recent news about Patrick Swayze, Top 5 Thursday counts down his best guy flicks:

5) "Youngblood"

An '80s movie about hockey and becoming a man. Swayze plays the Mustangs' best player who gets jacked in the head on a cheap shot from an archrival. Rob Lowe saves the day.

4) "Red Dawn"

Was there a more manly thing to do during the Cold War days than saving America from those evil Communists? So when those Soviet and Cuban troops invade the U.S. of A., who better than Swayze to stop them?

3) "The Outsiders"

An all-time coming-of-age classic for teenagers and wannabe rebels. Swayze played "Darry," the oldest of three Curtis brothers and de facto father of the group. Peep the rest of the cast: Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, C. Thomas Howell, Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, Leif Garrett, Sofia Coppola. Insane!

2) "Road House"

Let's see. This movie is about bars, beating people up and being the man. Yep, just about everything you need for a guy flick. Oh yeah, add in some love scenes with then-hot Kelly Lynch.

1) "Point Break"

Via con dios, Bodi! Swayze plays a carefree surfer/renegade bank robber. He escapes the cops -- not suprising seeing how those cops were Keanu Reeves and Gary Busey -- but eventually meets his fate when Special Agent Johnny Utah lets him go for one ride on his surfboard during the 50-year storm in Australia.

- Mark La Monica

"Semi-Pro" hits theaters this Friday. It stars Will Ferrell, which pretty much means we've seen this movie already. Lemme guess: He plays an over-the-top character and does outrageous and ridiculous things for a laugh.

This time, however, he does it as 1970s ABA player instead of a 1970s news anchor or a modern-day race car driver.

Like I said, we've seen this movie before. We'll hate it at first, then after 5-6 more viewings, we won't delete it from the DVR.

Top 5 Thursday counts down the only thing that deciphers one Will Ferrell movie from another: his sidekicks.

5) Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell (Vince Vaughn) in "Old School"

It stops right there and continues right here because what I think Beanie's friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind. As strong as Frank the Tank was, where would Will Ferrell be if Vaughn didn't finish the wedding toast? This was Vaughn's finest work since "Swingers." Vince Vaughn is so good when he plays Vince Vaughn.

4) Cal Naughton (John C. Reilly) in "Talladega Nights"

Shake 'n bake. Mike Honcho. Because I like to party. Thank the cinematic heavens for brilliant character actor John C. Reilly.

3) Pearl in "The Landlord"

Ferrell's 2-year-old daughter played his landlord in this skit that helped make Funnyordie.com a household name (in those households that appreciate comedy and viral videos watched more than 50 million times).

2) Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen) in "Talladega Nights"

Perhaps the best character in terms of well-thought-out and subtle comedy. The French race car driver in a Perrier-sponsored car is pure brilliance. Sipping a macchiato in the car -- hilarious. The game of "Uncle" using crepes. Genius. Cohen/Borat/Ali G nailed the role.

1) Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd) in "Anchorman"

Maybe it was the mustache. Maybe it was the Sex Panther. Maybe it was "James Westphal and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater." Maybe it was "Panda Watch!" Whatever it was, there's no denying the sidekick star power of Brian Fantana.

Many an actor will feel embarassed Saturday morning and many of us regular folks will laugh as the Razzie winners are announced. For those not hip to what the Razzies are, they salute the worst in the movies for the past year.

"Norbit" by Eddie Murphy, a favorite son of Long Island, earned eight Razzie nominations, including a record five individual selections for Murphy.

Ouch!

Murphy's been in the movie for than 25 years and he's gone more of the family route of late -- see the Shrek and Dr. Doolittle franchises. It's easy to forget just how brilliant Murphy was as a comedian and comedic actor.

So, Pet Rock begins its new feature - Top 5 Thursday - will a list of Eddie's top roles:

5) Gumby on "Saturday Night Live"

Murphy was 19 years old when he landed a spot on "SNL" in 1980. He gave us Buckwheat sings the hits, James Brown in a hot tub and Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood, but nothing can top Murphy in a green nerf suit playing an angry Gumby.

4) Prince Akeem in "Coming to America"

"Yes! In the face!"

3) Reggie Hammond in "48 Hours"

"There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Reggie Hammond."

2) Axel Foley in "Beverly Hills Cop I and II"

Banana. Tailpipe. 'Nuff said.

1) Billy Ray Valentine in "Trading Places"

Eddie's second feature film and his finest work. Any time someone corners the market on Frozen Concentrate Orange Juice, that's worth a mention.

- Mark La Monica