Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

Every now and again, Fashion friend Anne shoots an email into the Pet Rock office that makes us proud.

At 4:54 p.m., we smiled. (Sure it took us a little longer to get this up in the blog, but hey, such is life.)

It appears that Tyra Banks, already statuesque in her hotness, is about to get waxed. Her new wax figure will be unveiled Thursday (July 24) at 10:30 a.m. at Madame Tussauds in Manhattan. So if you're near 234 W. 42nd St. between 7th and 8th avenues, swing on through and try to wax that Banks.

The Toussads people claim that visitors will be able to take photos with, hug and even kiss Banks’ wax figure.

Tyra's figure (quite a nice phrase when not referring to a wax replica) will be rocking a beautiful floor-length black gown with a plunging neckline. Me, I'd rather see her in those leather pants from "Coyote Ugly."

(Getty Images photo)

As a kid growing up in the '80s, one of my favorite toys was my brother's Hot Wheels car collection and racetrack set. Who knew a tiny metal car with flames on the side could seem so realistic and fun?!

Landon Wilburn appears to share the same love of Hot Wheels as I do. The 11-year-old regularly aims his Hot Wheels Radar Gun at speeding drivers in his neighborhood in Louisville, Ky. He actually thinks his radar gun is tracking the speed of oncoming drivers! Landon has taken to yelling at speeders and then decided to bust out the radar gun. Way to go kid! Isn't he adorable?

(AP Photo/The Louisville Courier-Journal, Charlie White)

We get hit up with invites, promos and all sorts of things by PR (not Pet Rock) folks all the day. Part of the job, and certainly no complaints here.

It's my job to sift through all that stuff and figure out what is worth my time to blog about, your time to read about and all our time to actually experience whatever it is we're blogging and reading about.

Every now and again, we get an email that immediately screams out "Um, yeah, we're gonna have to do something about this STAT!"

And this one quickly elevated itself to No. 28 on our fly-by-night list of Reasons to Love America. It's National Underwear Day! And it's coming to Manhattan on Aug. 5, 2008.

That's correct, folks. It's a day to make mention of our unmentionables and to celebrate the advent of the clothing that goes above our skin and below our other clothes . . . usually. It was started by Freshpair in 2003 and has taken place in Times Square the previous five years. This year, it moves indoors.

Ordinarily, I would never condone the act of wearing such materials, but once I read "Runway shows - cocktails – celebrity appearances" I figured I could let it slide.

We need clarification on "celebrity appearances." Are we talking real celebrity people, or famous underwears of the past? This is an important distinction. As your pop culturist, it's my job to investigate this matter in person . . . and to accept nominations for my +1.

(Photo from Freshpair.com)

I have been holding on to this pic for roughly 2 years, 4 months and 6 days. It was a gift from Architect friend Aki, and now it's time to share the celebration with the masses.

Happy Van Damme Wednesday!

If you don't know the movie this is from, I'm very disappointed in you.

(AP Photo)

Let's review:

- The world hates America these days because of its miraculously woeful foreign policy under the Bush Administration.

- The U.S. of A. is NOT the defending gold medalist in men's basketball at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.

- The U.S. dollar is barely worth a nickel compared to a few years ago.

- Canada hates us because we stopped visiting Montreal and other touristy towns to the north because the exchange rate doesn't favor Americans anymore.

And now -- for the second year in a row, no less -- Miss USA, the supposed beacon of beauty and All-American good girl-ness, falls down during the Miss Universe pageant. Miss USA Crystle Stewart of Texas was in the top 10 at that point but tripped on her evening gown's train as she made her entrance upon the grand stage.

I mean, honestly. Is there no justice left for America? Has our penance not been served in the list above? Can't we at least have a Miss USA who can walk in high heels on the grandest stage of her career?

Seriously, she has two jobs to do: Smile and don't do anything stupid. OK, sure, she's hot and looks good during the swimsuit portion of the competition, but is staying upright while walking in heels too much to ask? Was she chewing gum at the same time?

While batting .500 will get you into the baseball hall of fame, in the pop culture entertainment world, it gets you 15 minutes of unwanted publicity.

What's next, Thanksgiving was invented by Australians? July 4 actually happened on July 5th all those years ago? Francis Scott Key lifted the lyrics for our national anthem from a Diddy track? Apple pie is really made with apricots? Betsy Ross had no fingers?

Please, America, let's gain a bit of our integrity back. Right now, our faces are covered in egg and the world doesn't have the decency to make us an omelet.

We all know the rules of forwarded e-mail jokes: Some are funny, most are stupid, and a few need to be forwarded on to others.

This is one of those few that needs to forwarded on to others, compliments of Crazy but in a good way friend Bernadette.

Beware of Old Men

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "Hey, there's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about MY weekend!!!"

How ever did we function as a society before the text-based, smiley face emoticon came into existence?

How did people know when we were joking in an email or a text message?

How is that comedy ever existed without the :)?

Were we just considered rude neanderthals who made insensitive comments to people?

Standup comedian and satirist George Carlin died of heart trouble on Sunday. He was 71. He was known for his routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television," which led to a key Supreme Court ruling on obscenity. George Carlin also appeared in several HBO comedy specials.

Share your favorite George Carlin moments in Newsday's guest book and view photos of George Carlin throughout his career.

Vinny Vella, known for his New York wise-guy persona in TV and movies (and four spots on "The Sopranos"), won $5 million in a New York lottery scratch-off.

Vinny Vella, known for his New York wise-guy persona in TV and movies (and four spots on "The Sopranos"), didn't win $5 million in a New York lottery scratch-off.

Huh?

He claims there are two 7s on the $500,000,000 Extravaganza ticket. The New York State lottery says it's a 17.

Watch this TMZ video as Vinny Vella tries to explain why he should be $5 million richer today. Thanks to Writer friend Steven for the link. Double thanks to Writer friend Steven for quoting Henry Hill quoting Paulie in "Goodfellas." The "[Bleep] you, pay me" is indeed the first thing that comes to mind after watching the video.

Photo from VinnyVella.net

Wu-Tang Clan's Rza (aka Robert Diggs) has come out with WuChess.com, a new Web site devoted to chess for the hip-hop crowd.

If you've ever heard a Wu-Tang album, you know the lyrics are heavy on chess moves, so this Web site is a natural fit for the Wu. WuChess.com may even entice young kids and hip hop heads who are unfamiliar with chess to learn this game of strategy.

Here's more about their Web site: "At Wuchess.com you can log-on to watch chess clans do battle and check out exhibition matches with Rza, other Wu-Tang members and stars from across the planet."

Wu-Tang loves the kids and so a portion of the site's revenue will be donated to the Hip Hop Chess Federation's scholarship fund, according to WuChess.com.

By Mark La Monica

On May 14, 1998, America lost two great icons of pop culture: "Seinfeld" and Frank Sinatra.

For me, the bigger loss was Sinatra.

Sure, "Seinfeld" was a classic American sitcom that will live forever in syndication and DVD box sets, but Sinatra was so cool, you had to call him "cat." That, my friends, is true transformation.

There's a reason they play Sinatra's version of "New York, New York" at Yankee Stadium when the Yankees win and Liza Minelli's version when they lose.

From Hoboken to Hollywood, Sinatra redefined cool. Actually, you could argue that he actually defined it since no one before him did what he could do. Bogart was legendary, but he didn't have the pizzazz to transcend generations upon generations.

Sinatra, or simply just "Frank," was the original king of cool, a man capable of capturing the fluttering hearts of women or appealing to the style of the everyman of any generation. Name another person, regardless of era, who could -- and did! -- get away with referring to women as "dames" or "broads" and be loved for it. In more than one book, you'll find a chapter titled "Broads." I'm just saying.

Even now, we look to Frank as the icon of cool (Just watch "Swingers" again if you need proof). See a man in a fedora, think Frank. See a man carrying drink after drink around at a party yet never getting drunk, that's Frank. (Read "The Way You Wear Your Hat" for that tip.)

Go to Vegas and try not to reference the Rat Pack at least once. In fact, the rule among my group of people is that "That's Life" must be played in the cab ride from the hotel to McCarran Airport after a Vegas weekend. I suggest you adopt the same rule.

We'll never see another like Frank Sinatra (the closest we have in this time frame are George Clooney and Johnny Depp, and neither of them have recording contracts). And that's just fine with me. There's only one Frank.

So help us celebrate the spirit of Frank Sinatra with this photo essay on the 10th anniversary of his death.

Flashback: The life of Frank Sinatra

It's impossible to delve deep into the legend of Frank Sinatra in a single blog post, so Pet Rock recommends the following items if you want to learn more about the man and his music:

Books
• "Why Sinatra Matters" by Pete Hamill
• "The Way You Wear Your Hat" by Bill Zehme

Movies
• "From Here to Eternity"
• "The Man With the Golden Arm"
• "Ocean's Eleven"
• "Guys and Dolls"

Songs
• "Summer Wind"
• "That's Life"
• "Fly Me to the Moon"
• "New York, New York"
• "I've Got You Under my Skin"
• "The Way You Look Tonight"
• And pretty much everything else he sang.

The old "Anchorman" change the script on the teleprompter never gets old. We do it all the time when filming green screen stuff in the office.

Ernie Jones, one third of TNT's "Inside the NBA" show, did to Charles Barkley recently. And the clip is all over YouTube. Here it is for your enjoyment.

- La Monica

Leave it to 7-Eleven to drum up some sweet emotion with its new Full Throttle Frozen Blast Slurpees.

The 24-hour convenience store chain is hooking up with Activision to promote the latest installment of the "Guitar Hero" video game -- "Guitar Hero: Aerosmith" -- which hits stores June 29.

But you can get your rock off now in 7-Eleven parking lots across the Island through May 13 as WBLI (106.1 on your FM dial) hosts Guitar Hero jams, complete with a 6 x 12-foot screen to watch your own mini rock concert.

Bring your rock star talents (heck, even dress up in tight leather pants and put in some hair extensions if you want) and compete to win a copy of the "Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock" video game. Oh yeah, free slurpees, too! And they come in a Guitar Hero cup. Ah, the joys of cross-promotional marketing. We are such suckers for souvenir cups, aren't we?

Here's the WBLI schedule:

Friday, May 9: 7-Eleven at 602 Smithtown Bypass, Smithtown
Noon - 2 p.m.

Sunday, May 11: 115 Jericho Turnpike, Jericho
Noon - 2 p.m.

Monday, May 12: 2397 Hempstead Turnpike, East Meadow
6 - 8 p.m.

And here's the schedule for 7-Eleven appearances without WBLI:

Friday, May 9
3 - 5 p.m.: 616 Union Blvd., West Islip
6 - 8 p.m.: 403 Broadway, Amitville

Saturday, May 10
11 a,m. - 3 p.m.: 101-04 Metropolitan Ave. Forest Hills (WKTU in the house!)
6 - 8 p.m.: 72-01 Eliot Ave, Middle Village

Sunday, May 11
3 - 5 p.m.: 901 Jericho Turnpike, Huntington Station
6 - 8 p.m.: 247 Broadway, Huntington

Monday, May 12
Noon - 2 p.m.: 251 Montauk Hwy, Lindenhurst
3 - 5 p.m.: 4350 Merrick Road, Massapequa

Tuesday, May 13
2 - 5 p.m.: 850 Hempstead Turnpike, Franklin Square

If you can't make it to one of these events or if you don't live on Long Island, find a 7-Eleven near you, buy a Slurpee and enter the code at slurpee.com to see if you won a copy of "Guitar Hero: Aerosmith."

- La Monica

Woo hoo! Now we can all celebrate the original king of cool by licking Frank's back and affixing him to envelopes. Seriously, sign me up. Where can I get these things?

The Post Office has three ceremonies planned for the new 42-cent stamp (up from 41 cents, effective May 12), the first of which is at 10 a.m. at Gotham Hall in Manhattan. Expect to see Sinatra's children Nancy and Frank Sinatra Jr., along with the obligatory local politicos.

Of course, no Sinatra party is complete without a Las Vegas reference, so at noon Vegas time, 3 p.m. EDT, Tina Sinatra will be at the Bellagio Fountains to celebrate the Frank stamp. Frank Jr. will also be at the Hoboken ceremony at Pier A Park at First Street and Frank Sinatra Drive.

- La Monica

OK, so this may be the coolest thing we hear about and then do this week, perhaps even this month.

This Thursday (April 24) at 7:30 p.m. at the TriBeCa Drive-In (North Cove at the World Financial Center), they will celebrate the 25th anniversary of Michael Jackson's epic "Thriller" music video.

This was a groundbreaking event in 1984, and all these years later, it remains the greatest video ever made. A bold statement, to be sure, but name one that is better.

“Thriller” video director John Landis will be on hand during the screening and the classic "Making of Thriller" video to follow. Folks will teach you the Thriller dance -- as if you don't remember it -- and then join in for the world's largest zombie disco. There's a face-painting station, too, so ghoul it up, son! P.S. It's free!

Get more info here and watch the entire video below -- the ENTIRE video just the way it debuted on MTV in 1984 -- just because you know you want to kill a few minutes at work today. (Note: The video player takes a few seconds to load and you might get hit with a 15-second commercial firs, but "This is Thriller, Thriller Night" and no one's gonna save you from the commercial beast that's about to strike, so deal with it.)

- La Monica

Matt Damon said it best in "Rounders" when his character Mike McD quoted old-school poker hero Jack King's book "Confessions of a Winning Poker Player":

"Few players recall big pots they have won -- strange as it seems -- but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career."

So true, Mike, so true. And with the advent of the lipstick camera and premium timeslots on ESPN a few years back, poker took the regular world by storm. We all got to share in people's suck-out wins, crazy bluffs and those outstanding tough beats.

They're a badge of honor among poker players, sort of like old Army buddies comparing scars and wounds. With that in mind, here's my latest tough beat.

Playing in a charity No Limit Hold'em tournament at the Montel Williams MS Foundation Gala at Cipriani's in Manhattan on Thursday night (a wonderful event for a good cause, by the way), I sat with a few pros (including 2006 WSOP Ladies Event champ Mary Jones) and a few regular folks like me.

Kings were flying in my direction on the first hand, and the chips soon followed suit. The next 35 minutes were spent racking up frequent flyer miles to 3-8 Town and Q-4 Land.

Then I finally get a hand worth playing: A-K suited. The blinds were $100-200 and I was down to $1,375 in chips (everyone started with $2,000). Sitting middle position, I raised to $500.

A fella sitting across from me who happened to look exactly like former Gov. Eliot Spitzer without the stress and potential legal headaches raised to $1,000. A handsome bet, indeed.

At this point, I can only fold or raise, just like Mike McD against Teddy KGB. I push all my chips in, calling his $500 and raising it up another $375. We flip 'em and let the people join in watching the race.

He flips . . . a pair of freakin' 3s. Yep, he raised a raise and then called a second raise wth 3-3. That's right, 3-freaking-3. Seriously? Seriously.

At this point, I'm slightly furious that he's slightly ahead, but even more furious that Fake Spitzer played a pair of 3s that strong.

Here comes the flop: J-10-7, including one spade. Now I've got an inside straight draw, a potential flush and two overcards that would send his pair of 3s into the muck pile.

On the turn, a fourth spade falls. Nice. Plenty of outs for me. And a big pot that would help get me to next round and one step closer to the final table and a chance to perhaps play against poker pros Freddie Deeb, Annie Duke and Jamie Gold, not to mention the host of the event, Montel Williams.

I look at the community cards, then my A-K, then those damn 3s which I can hear taunting me. Awaiting the river card, I glance again at my cards, then at Jones' poker bracelet to my right, then at Fake Spitzer in front. The dealer flips over the river card. Oh that's nice, a 9 of hearts. No help for me. There goes all my money and a chance to live the dream. But when you lose to Fake Spitzer, at least the card that destroys me is a (Client) 9.

- Mark La Monica

Every geographical hotbed for guidos claims ownership rights over the origin of the guido fist pump. Long Islanders claim they invented it. The Jersey guidos say the art of pumping one's fist in the air to the beat of some house song rests on their shoulders.

And when the Staten Island and Howard Beach guidos get in on the discussion, well, it's a Pier 6 brawl. We're talking newscaster rumble like in "Anchorman."

But this is no time to start another "War at the Shore" over who rightfully has ownership rights to the guido fist pump, or GFP. Rather, let everyone unite at a guido summit like in the opening scene of "The Warriors" and embrace and teach the GFP to everyone. Below is the instructor's guide to help pass this dance move -- it's more art than dance -- to the masses.

- Mark La Monica

Few things are more disappointing than when a great pop culture reference goes unnoticed and unappreciated.

The other day, Party promoter friend Jann and I entered Two Boots Pizza on West 11th Street in the City.

It's a quaint joint that screams Greenwich Village and good pizza. It's also one of those joints where you can't just "get a slice" of pizza. No such thing as "Gimme one regular and one with pepperoni." Nope. Every slice has a name.

There's the "Big Maybelle," a slice of white pizza with marinated chicken, pepperoni and fresh garlic. Or the "Mr. Pink," a slice with marinated chicken, plum tomatoes, fresh garlic and mozzarella.

And, of course, the reason behind this post, the "Cleopatra Jones" slice with sausage, onions and peppers.

After surveying the menu, I looked at the pizza man behind the counter and said, "Man, Cleopatra Joooones, and I'm chill like that, I'm chill like that."

Nothing! Clearly, this dude is not from this Digable Planet. See, it stinks when a great, unplanned early 1990s hip-hop reference goes unappreciated. Get your digable fix below.

- Mark La Monica

Remember when you were a kid and your parents subscribed to National Geographic magazine for you? Or when you'd ask your elementary school teacher to go to the library to read it?

Yeah, they all knew what you were doing: You wanted to see the topless ladies. It's cool, no one will rat you out anymore.

Well, here comes the National Geographic Channel's Web site with another awesome reason to check them out. And this time - surprise! - it once again includes people who don't wear shirts.

The show is called Fight Science, a show that analyzes the science behind the strength and techniques of mixed martial artists from the UFC, Special Ops and self-defense. Randy "The Natural" Couture, Tito Ortiz and Bas Rutten are among the UFC fighters in this show, which debuts Sunday, Jan. 27 at 8 p.m.

But it's the online Fight Science game that you really need to peep ASAP.

It's freaking awesome!

The people at the NG's Web site built an amazing online game (and free, too!) where you can test your skills. Everything from force to balance to strength to reflexes. One minute, you're punching a dummy to build up your strength, the next you're sticking your hand out trying to catch the katana sword on the handle instead of the blade. It's very "Miyagi, chopsticks and the fly," and very cool.

Create your own profile and challenge your friends. Or log in as me (UN: petrock; PW: petrock) and let's build an uber fighter to conquer the rest of the Internet world. Help me out on the balance beam thing. It's very "Flash Gordon vs. the Baron played by Tim Daly on that crazy labryinth platform thing with the spikes" and I stink at it. Strange, seeing how much I enjoy that movie still.

Either way, just click here and play.

Man Rule No. 17: When you score an invite to a Ford Supermodel of World fashion show and afterparty and you don't go, turn in your Mach III razor and cancel your GQ and Maxim subscriptions because your manhood privileges have just been revoked.

So when Fashion friend Anne passed her invite in my direction, the only issue was whether or not traffic on the L.I.E. would prevent me from getting there on time. I drove the 40-something miles to Terminal 5 on the West Side like I live my life a quarter-mile at a time.

Ford runs this annual global search to find the next supermodel. The show is actually pretty interesting, as all 49 women stand on stage and then parade themselves down the runway one at a time. It's very "Deal or No Deal" just without the cases of money. As a veteran of more than 100 fashion shows, I can say this one was pretty cool, even though I'll never understand why these models never smile when they walk. I get that it's what they're told to do, but c'mon, you're wearing clothes few people can afford, you're all dolled up and every camera lens and human is fixated on you. Smile, damn it. Enjoy it.

(OK, I just put the soapbox away.)

The 49 women represented 48 countries and one MySpace. As Jules Whitfield would say, "MySpace ain't country I ever heard of. They speak English in MySpace?"

While people debated who would win, I debated where to sit. I had a seat in the third row, but it would be difficult to shoot decent photos from that position. The other option was to fight my way into and around the photographers' pit to get a good spot. Hmmm, grapple with the other media types with bigger cameras and tripods, or sit among the beautiful people and go all Kanye West and live the good life?

Well, let me just say this:

Like we always do at this time
I go for mine
I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky
Now I, I go for mine
I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky

Besides, in the photographers' pit, you can't go up to David Wright and suggest that any advice he receives at a fashion show about how to hit a curveball should be ignored. P.S. His lady friend, Molly Beers, was the best-looking gal in the place.

Chillin' in the third row with the Rainmaker, making his maiden voyage through the strange world of fashion, we watched as 49 young ladies took their biggest steps yet toward the fame and the fortune and the glamour and the glitz.

One girl stumbled a bit, then regained her composure. You could see her thoughts even clearer than her clothes, though, as it happened: "Damn! I just lost 250,000 bucks. Oh well, I might as well keep walking."

In case you needed a another reason to understand why I'll never be a guest judge on "Project Runway," here it is: I guessed the girl from Argentina, Valeria Pividori (pictured), and the girl from the Caribbean, Cathy Daniel, would battle it out for the big prize.

Nope. Not even close. They didn't even land one of the $50,000 or $100,000 runner-up contracts from Ford or co-sponsor Maybelline. Miss Argentina, I am crying for you. You got hosed. (Seung-hyun Kang of Korea View image
won the big quarter-million-dollar deal).

The only thing that comforted my pain in seeing my Argentinian dreamgirl disappointed was when the girl from Peru, Nicole Faveren Vasquez, won the first $100,000 contract. They announced her name and everyone clapped. Only one problem with that: Vasquez doesn't speak or understand English. Oopsies. Funny stuff. Watch the video at the top of this blog post and you'll see.

I've long contended that the KFC biscuit is the best single item in fast food history. Now comes "news" that Hollywood may be joining in support of my theory.

Lauren Conrad, our fave gal on "The Hills," recently parted ways with Teen Vogue and also moved into some fancy pants home in the flats just off Sunset Boulevard.

Right down the road from the reported new home of LC is a KFC and a Blockbuster. Hello, marketing and PR fun! Line up and let's go to work on some cool stunts.

To quote Guru in the '90s rap song "Dwyck" (best rap song of all time, by the way), "Lemonade was a popular drink and in still is; I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis."

And so it is, as this morning I received an email from a KFC rep with this little gem:

"In the spirit of Southern Hospitality, KFC has sent Conrad an offer to cater her housewarming party and, because of the recent Teen Vogue news and her experience with fashion designing, we're inviting her to design one of our Retro T-shirts that benefit Colonel Scholars, a charity providing deserving students with much needed college scholarships."

No word on if she's accepted the offer. But, you gotta love that move. Hey KFC, get me on that guest list! Or, maybe just send me some biscuits and an LC T-shirt.

By Mark La Monica

Apparently, some old-school synapses were firing late last night. Somewhere in my REM sleep land, there are a few dreams of 1990s glory waiting to be unleashed. Who knew?

That's the only way to explain why Michael Bivens and I shared the stage to sing "Poison." Where Ronny DeVoe and Ricky Bell were, I'm not really sure.

But, that was I me on stage, in black overalls, one flap down, of course, and a white turtleneck busting a move to some hip hop smoothed out on the R & B tip with pop feel appeal to it. Yes, it was one of those "Did I really just dream that?" moments of waking up. It was followed by one of those "Uh, yeah, I gotta blog that" moments.

Hey, ride the wave, baby. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, oh nooooooooooooo!