Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

I still can't believe that Nick Cannon bagged Mariah Carey! How did he pull it off? I really want to know ...

In case you've been living under a rock, Nick and Mariah reportedly ran off and got married in a private ceremony on an island, suprising family and fans. It's believed that they first met on the set of her new video for the single "Bye, Bye" off Mariah's "E=MC2" album.

I mean, Mariah is definitely hotter than Nick, and she's achieved way more success in her career. After watching Mariah's new video, it's pretty clear there was some chemistry between them and, dare I say, sexual heat!

Take a look and judge for yourself ...

First, props to 380-plus commenters on last week's post about the Miley Cyrus-Vanity Fair photo "scandal." Great dialogue, with people on both sides of the issue. This is the kind of online conversation we Web people dream about. Nice work, Pet Rockers!

Second, in the interest of full disclosure, I've been fist-pumping to Miley's song "See You Again" for a while now without ever knowing it was her singing. Oopsies. My bad. Great song, though. Seriously, it's an awesome club song. Watch a YouTube concert video at the end of this post. (I challenge you not to fist pump to the beat.)

Third, I'm still of the belief that the photo taken by Annie Leibovitz wasn't worth all the hullabaloo it generated across this pop culture world of ours. Don't teenagers spend their entire teen years trying to look older than they really are anyway?

Fourth, the most upsetting thing about this entire situation is how people are saying Miley Cyrus is washed up now and it's time for Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato to replace Cyrus as the next tween queen.

Have we really reached such a tragically subterranean level in society that we are now searching for the next young teen girl to corner the tween market?

I understand child stars have been around for a long time (just peep this photo gallery for proof), but this seems way worse than the days of Zach and Kelly on "Saved by the Bell" or Schroeder and Bateman on "Silver Spoons."

Now, we wait for a young teen marketed to preteens to do something some parent in a position of power disagrees with and exploits publicly, then we pounce on them and look for a fresh start and a drama-free clean slate.

It's one thing to do that with adults who are accustomed to such things? But now it's time to mess around with young teens like they're 30-year-olds?

Wow, are we really that sick?

- La Monica

P.S. Here's that "See You Again" video we promised.

Rumors are swirling that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were secretly married in a small ceremony on an island.

What sparked all this chatter? Mariah's been flashing a huge rock on her ring finger at events promoting her new album, "E=MC2," and hit single "Touch My Body." Mariah's rep denied to People magazine that the two even had a relationship, much less an engagement.

Celebrity jeweler Jacob & Co. said the ring is pretty hefty at 17 carats, featuring an emerald-cut fancy pink diamond in the center and 58 pink diamonds surrounding it, according to People.com. The ring is said to cost an astounding $2.5 million and is believed to be the same ring Nick gave to Victoria Secret model Selita Ebanks.

Yo, that's the tackiest move a man could make!

Nick Cannon first gained popularity in the movie "Drumline" and has gone on to produce and appear on MTV's "Wild N' Out."

If the two actually married, it would be Mariah's second marriage. Earlier in her career, Mariah was married to record exec Tommy Mottola from 1993 to 1998.

By Adam Abramson

FHM magazine has tabbed Megan Fox as the world's sexiest woman. No problems with that.

Some thoughts on the list:

100. Britney Spears (Really?)
13. Eva Mendes (Way hot.)
77. Paris Hilton (Is it me or is she just lame now?)
17. Kim Kardashian (Don't get it. Does she get like a 2,000 rating boost because she has a sex tape and is with Reggie Bush?)
6. Emmanuelle Chriqui (Has a strong case for No. 1. La Monica would agree)
56. Tara Reid (Hasn't she become the poster child for "Used to be hot, then went off the rocker and looks awful"?)
73. Carrie Underwood (Her first year on the list, but 73 is a slight to her).
10. Hayden Panettiere (I really don't get it...Top 10?!)

Click the picture for some photo highlights.

Lindsay Lohan photos

Apparently, our fave gal Lindsay wants to prove she's a "serious actress" by doing a nude scene. And even better, the Daily Mail in London, says she's only getting 40,000 pounds for it.

True or not, I'm fairly certain she's worth quite a bit more than that. Any chance that this is a work of Pop Fiction, that new "Ashton Kutcher messes with the paparazzi and celeb rag mags" show on E!?

Britney Spears photos

Here's the official Pet Rock stance on the matter: Britney Spears was looking mad fly on the show. We're talking "Crossroads" hot. MTV VMAs hot. I'm just saying.

See clips from the Britney Show cameos here and more here.

- Mark La Monica

By Adam Abramson

With a recently released sex tape making headlines, Amy Fisher appeared on The Howard Stern Show Thursday morning.

The interview abruptly ended when Stern took a call from Mary Jo Buttafuoco's daughter, Jessica. Fisher said she did not want to talk to the daughter of the woman she shot in the face in 1992, but Stern took the call anyway. It only took one comment from Jessica Buttafuoco for Fisher to walk out of the studio and leave the building Sirius Satellite Radio calls home.

Buttafuoco told Stern she was calling to let Fisher know releasing the tape could have grave impacts on the relationships with her children, but Fisher had already walked out.

Stern admitted he felt weird having Fisher on and predicted she was on for "three minutes," or his "shortest interview ever."

A sex tape featuring Fisher, who notoriously became the "Long Island Lolita," and her husband, Louis Bellera, was sold to a production company last August. Before walking off the show, Fisher admitted she was paid up front but would not give the amount of money received from Red Light District.

Bellera later called in to clear the air. He claimed Stern "blindsided" Fisher by taking the call from Buttafuoco. He said the purpose of the visit was to discuss the tape with Stern and his wife, but Stern rebutted by saying it would be unfair if he could not mention what originally made Fisher a public figure.

Stern and Bellera proceeded to talk about the details of the tape.

Amy Fisher discusses her sex tape (January 2008)

Leave Lindsay alone!

Sorry, we couldn't resist that Chris Crocker reference.

You get a look at those Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe photos in New York Magazine yet?

Whoa, nelly!

But before you rush to judgment and villify her in online forums and tabloid television, ask yourself this question and try to answer it honestly: How much different are these photos than what's in the latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?

If you've had the chance to flip through that thing, by the last of the 200 pages, you'll wonder if you bought SI or Maxim or some softcore porn mag.

Don't try the "Yeah, but those SI photos are classy" line. The Lohan photos are just as tasteful in terms of photography. And is a see-through scarf any different than a wet, white T-shirt?

We think not.

As for that one photo without the scarf, well, we can't really argue for or against that (at least not in print). Plenty of famous folks have done the topless look and didn't get an adverse reaction in the press or public opinion.

So before you let all the negative press about Lindsay in the pass affect your judgment, take a look at the SI swimsuit -- or any other magazine aimed at younger men -- and see if it's really all that different.

- Mark La Monica

That's the scene as Wesley Snipes left an Ocala, Fla., courtroom Friday after a federal jury acquitted him of tax fraud, conspiracy and three other counts of not filing a return.

However, the jury did find Snipes guilty of three misdemeanor charges of not filing tax returns.

But the real question is this: Is that Wesley Snipes or Nino Brown in the photo?

Am I my brother's keeper?

- Mark La Monica

While there's no "news" that J. Lo has had her twins, everyone's favorite celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, wrote yesterday that there were rumors she was giving birth here on Long Island!

Then, the Celebrity Baby Blog (yes, sadly that exists), said that J. Lo is NOT giving birth. However, for those of you lovin' on celebrity gossip, Gwen Stefani IS pregnant again.

Confusing, to say the least!

More news to follow... but, in the meantime, why not peruse some J. Lo and Mark Anthony photos or look at pics of the couple starring in a Disney Dream Portrait series.

Hooray, hooray! The SAG Awards went off as scheduled. After that Golden Globe debacle, we finally get to see famous people accept statues and say thank you!

The real appeal of these award shows, however, are seeing the insane presenter pairings put together by the show's producers. They're meant to illicit a reaction from the people watching at home, and the sought-after reaction is "Wow! What kind of drugs were they doing in that planning meeting when they paired those two together?"

Well, here we go with Pet Rock's 12 presenter pairings we'd like to see at the Oscars (or at any other upcoming award show):

1) Tony Sirico and Miley Cyrus

2) Zac Efron and Busta Rhymes

3) America Ferrara and Diddy

4) Stephen Colbert and Dame Judi Dench

5) Perez Hilton and Danny DeVito

6) Denzel Washington and Ashley Olsen

7) Kevin Dillon and Russell Crowe

8) Alec Baldwin and Lindsay Lohan

9) Eva Longoria and Terry Bradshaw

10) Britney Spears and Barack Obama

11) Kevin Bacon and Andrew "Dice" Clay

12) Amanda Bynes and Burt Reynolds

- Mark La Monica

Gotta love when actors and other famous people make fun of Tom Cruise, instead of just late-night talk show hosts and you and your friends.

Jerry O'Connell delivers this gem on Funnyordie.com. Props to Journalista friend Lauren for the link.

Just in case you were wondering what it's like to be famous, here's a little taste. I'm not saying this is the sole reason for the download spiral of Britney Spears, but it certainly doesn't make matters easier.

Imagine 43 million paparazzi swarming you the next time you do something so controversial as buy Q-tips or shampoo at Rite-Aid. Oh the scandal!

I understand the price of fame, but this is a bit ridiculous. I'm not going all Chris Crocker here, but I did appreciate Brit saving a few bucks by shopping at DSW Shoes.

And my posting of this video doesn't help matters in terms of stopping this sort of thing, but it does give you some insight into what they deal with. So, the next time you pick your nose at your desk, be thankful 25 cameras don't light up.

- Mark La Monica

Jan. 22 Blogger's note: This video from our peoples at Zap2it.com has since expired. If you're here from search engines or various scrolling within Pet Rock, we appreciate it and apologize you missed it. Rest assured, there will be more.

So, this Mr. Blackwell dude claims that Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, was the worst dressed woman in 2007.

"Forget the fashion spice, wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em," he said in a statement.

I don't know what any of that means, but here's my question: Who really cares about this? Omigod, some fashion chica wears clothes that some old man doesn't like. Stop the presses! Throw away your Spice Girls CDs. Trade David Beckham in your fantasy soccer leagues. The world is going to end.

Is he judging Victoria "That is May-jah" Beckham based on the clothes she wears as a member of the Spice Girls, a pop music group in an industry that is based entirely on selling a fantasy image? Or is he judging her based on her clothing choices as a mother of three? Either way, why do we care? Will this stop us from looking at photos of her and the other celebs on the list? Will this prevent us from watching their movies or listening to their music? No.

Seriously, why do we in the media keep presenting this information? I'm all for frivolous bits of entertainment news to get me through the day, but at least I can derive some perceived value from those little "[Insert famous celeb name here] is pregnant/engaged/married/divorced" stories.

I'm so mad at myself right now for even complaining about this Blackwell thing and giving this guy more pub. Someone take away my Internet for two days, please.

I'm a sucker for celebrity birthdays. Not really sure why, but I am.

Somewhere between the day they started printing them in the newspaper and the day I learned how to read, I was hooked.

In glancing at an advance copy of this Sunday's entertainment section of the newspaper, I stumbled upon the knowledge that on Jan. 6, 2008, actor Danny Pintauro turns 32. Just in case you have no clue who that is, here's the full listing as it appears in the paper:

Actor Danny Pintauro ("Who's the Boss?"), 32.

According to IMDB.com, Pintauro hasn't done any TV or film work since "Who's the Boss?" ended in 1992, save for a small bit in the 2007 independent film "The Still Life."

According to the official Danny Pintauro fan site (yes, there's an official Danny Pintauro fan site), he's done some off-broadway theater in the time since he stopped sharing a home with Samantha Miceli.

So here's my question: When does celebrity status expire? Is there no shelf-life to when people stop caring who you are, what you do or when you were born? Is there some kind of renewal form they fill out and pay dues to stay in the public eye?

- Mark La Monica

Photo from Wikipedia.org

In the latest rung on her downward spiral toward Hades' waiting room (seriously, how many more rungs can there be?), Britney Spears had the coppers come to her crib and swipe her kids after a three-hour custody battle.

The coppers say she "appeared to be under the influence of an unknown substance."

What else is unknown is the later-on-in-life effects all these Britney fiascos/tabloid fodder will have on her kids.

What else is unknown is whose kids will be more screwed up in life: Britney's or Michael Jackson's. It's a tough call, so we'll leave it up to you to vote.

- Mark La Monica

By Mark La Monica

Boy, that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant story came out of nowhere, huh? At least with Britney, we could see the signs.

This comes just when I was starting to wonder why the tabloids continue to force people to give a hoo-hah about Britney.

I'm still hoping that this is another of those magazine hoaxes, like a few months back when someone made a fake page from J-14 saying that "Hannah Montana" actress Miley Cyrus was with child. Or maybe one of those technical errors like a bunch of years ago when NBC killed Joe DiMaggio on its breaking news crawl months before he actually died.

For the sake of everyone in the Spears family and for the rest of us in Somewhat Sane America, please let this be a hoax. Please!

Given the family history, it's likely 100-percent true. And seeing how Jamie Lynn is 16, Pet Rock will take the high road (does such a road exist in pop culture blogs?) and practice abstinence when it comes to writing any more about this bit of, um, er, uh, "news."

We certainly won't go all Chris Crocker on you and start screaming "Leaving Jamie Lynn alone!" That we promise.

Here's hoping Jamie Lynn raises a productive, well-adjusted child and that Google figures out a way to un-Google things before Lil' Spears learns how to read and use the Internet. No child deserves the wrath Lil Spears is bound to endure in the coming months before he or she enters the world.

By Mark La Monica

The wildly popular "Dancing With The Stars" has been a ratings bonzana for ABC. It encapsulates the reality competition genre that dominates programming these days. And it puts people in charge, somewhat, of their own future.

But don't fool yourself, Even in this era of user-generated content (aka, "Do our work for us"), there's way more going on with this show that makes it successful.

Here are 12 reasons why "Dancing With The Stars" works:

1) Famous people
We as a culture in this nation do love us some celebrities. But the true guilty pleasure in watching these celebs is two-fold:

• Watching celebs transform from regular non-dancers to graceful dancers
• Secretly hoping to watch famous people make a fool of themselves on national televison.

2) Insane clothing
The women all were shiny little things. The men all raided Sam Rothstein's closet at The Tangiers.

3) The music
It's all songs we already know, which never hurts. They're performed by people at the show, not by the original artists, which adds some intrigue (even if some of the versions are woefully painful to hear.) They don't talk about this, but the music is the secret energy of the show.

4) A gutsy host
Tom Bergeron drops bombs. Gotta respect a host who can easily alternate between kissing celebrity patoot and mocking celebrities to the face. On the show finale, Bergeron asked the earlier weeks' losers some questions. When he got to Jennie Garth (aka Kelly Taylor), he said on live television: "Jennie, uh, we were gonna ask you a question, but instead let's roll the clip of her falling down . . . Really, I don't have time for questions." Onions!

5) Train wrecks
There's also at least one star on the show that makes you say "I can't wait to watch this debacle." The train wreck was been played admirably this season by Wayne Newton and Mark Cuban, and in previous seasons by Tucker Carlson and Jerry Springer.

6) A crazy Italian
Having been raised by plenty of crazy Italians, let me say this: Never, never, never underestimate the influence loud, outspoken and demonstrative Italians can have on the things you do. Forza Bruno Tonioli!

7) Smokin hot chicks
Julianne Hough, Kym Webster, Cheryl Burke, Carrie Ann, etc., etc., etc.

8) Old-school classics
The creators and producers of "Dancing" do a remarkable job of landing a good array of talent to appeal to every demographic imaginable. That always yields a "Wow, I didn't know they were still around, but damn she/he still looks good" moment. This year's old-school classic: Jane Seymour. That woman is good medicine.

9) College flashbacks
Every man who had a girlfriend and schedule flexibility in their senior year of college during the 1990s was forced to take the ballroom dancing class. Some of those men are with those same women. Some are with different women. Those different women also took the ballroom dancing class. And now that those college guys of the 1990s have gone soft in their 30s, it's deja vu all over again.

10) Cast stability
Sure, each season revolves around different celebrities, but the dancers remain the same (give or take one or two here and there). That gives the viewer a chance to grow with the show and compare Karina Smirnoff's work with Slater last season with her work with Pretty Boy Floyd this season.

11) Career revival
Tell the truth: for those of you who didn't watch the extremely short-lived "ESPN Hollywood," who even knew Mario Lopez had skills beyond bad wrestling moves in a fake gym on Saturday mornings?

12) The dance moves
Yeah, they're pretty cool, too.

Thank [insert your diety of choice here] Jennifer Lopez and Christina Aguilera officially announced they are with child.

I think we can all breathe a little bit easier now that they confirmed what everyone already knew.

Seriously, what is the obsession about these types of things? Bringing children into the world is a wonderful thing, but when the tabloid shows and magazines and blogs spend so much time trying to run down the story as if it were a major international coup, things get a little silly, don't you think?

As much as I love seeing photos of J.Lo and Aguilera everywhere I turn, this stuff seems way too wasteful of a lot of good people's time.

By Adam Abramson

So Clifford Harris was arrested on weapons charges.

Who? Well, that's the real name of rapper T.I., you know, the rubberband man.

Mr. Harris has drug charges and violations of probation looming from 1998, so he's going to be in some hot water.

I doubt Chevrolet will like this very much.

The question I want to ask, though, is who's guilty here? T.I. or T.I.P?

By Anne Machalinski

I have a love / hate relationship with Paris Hilton... although it's 99% on hate, which is why I'm currently obsessed with this video from Paris' recent appearance on David Letterman. He grills her for almost 10 full minutes on life in prison. Amazing.

She slips in a few words about upcoming projects -- she's working on a ridiculous sounding horror musical -- and Letterman drinks half the bottle of her new perfume.

Welcome to Monday. Enjoy.