Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

Peep this quote Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton gave to KNBC-TV:

"If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue."

Wow! That's about as explosive a quote you'll get from a public official these days. If he worked in New York, how much longer do you think he'd keep his job?

And now for the context of the quote:

Bratton spoke to a TV reporter after hearing Councilman Dennis Zine discussing possible new restrictions on freelance photographers. Zine was set to lead a meeting later in the day at City Hall to discuss ways to restrict aggressive paparazzi.

Q: What do Ludacris and Barack Obama have in common?

A: They're both coming for that No. 1 spot.

While Obama challenges John McCain for the title of next U.S. president, Ludacris is throwing down some rhymes to support The Barack. Of course, the shrewd politico that Obama is, his campaign has denounced the lyrics to "Politics (Obama is here!)."

You be the judge. Peep this video, but don't pay too much attention to visuals. We found it on YouTube, so just listen to the words.

(P.S. Pet Rock is betting that deep down in places he doesn't talk about at parties, Obama is loving this song. Pet Rock is parlaying that bet with future TMZ video of Obama pumping that song in downtown Chicago.)

(P.P.S. Pet Rock fully supports Obama Girl and Ludacris doing a video together. Of course, we don't care what the topic is about either, just so long as we get to see Obama Girl.)

"Swing Vote" hits theaters Friday. I know, I know, it's a Kevin Costner non-sports movie, but it could be decent. Of course, it could be awful. All depends on your point of view and whatever external things you've got running through your head when you see it.

But it is a political comedy, which in my world, is amusing. And what with the DNC coming up soon (hint: Pet Rock might be there in Denver) and that whole big November election thing, it seems like the right time for Top 5 Thursday to count down our favorite political comedy movies.

5) Dick
A pair of ditzy teenage girls, played by Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams, become Nixon's official White house dog walkers and subsequently the "Deep Throat" sources for Woodward and Bernstein in the Watergate scandal.

4) Head of State
Not the best work from Chris Rock, but still funny enough to make the cut, ya heard!

3) Election
Sure, this movie was set in a high school, but don't get confused. Reese Witherspoon manipulates the world around her to try and win the student body president election. This movie is hilarious in every direction.

2) Wag the Dog
Robert DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman on the same screen. Bold. And they conspire to create a fictitious war against longtime archenemy Albania. Witty, smart satire throughout.

1) Spies Like Us
Let me get this straight: It's got Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd at the height of their comedic genius going into Pakistan to sneak into the Soviet Union and steal their nuclear missile at the zenith of the Cold War? Yes it does.

If you haven't yet seen any of the first three episodes of "Live Through This" on Fuse TV, dude, you're missing out on some good stuff.

It fills the void left when VH1 ran out of rock stars who were rich and famous then lost it all to heroin, cocaine or alcohol only to get rich and famous again to document on "Behind the Music." Although this show is slightly different in its approach, if you were hooked on "Behind the Music," you'll get just as hooked with "Live Through This."

The first three episodes were on Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse and my personal fave, Nikki Sixx. "Live Through This: Kanye West" premieres Aug. 9 at 11 p.m. of Fuse TV (Ch. 56 on Cablevision). Definitely check it out, or at least set your DVR now. (Besides, you never know what Kanye West is going to say on camera.)

Here's a little snippet from the show, thanks to our good friends over there at Fuse.

The world got its first look at the trailer for "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" yesterday as it debuted on moviefone.com.

No doubt it will open to huge numbers and find its place among the top 25 opening weekends of all time.

For those of you who missed out on the trailer yesterday, or were just too busy to peep it, Pet Rock is here to help. See below. (P.S. It may take a second or two to load on your computer.)

We're not sure if there's a better way to kick off our new feature here at Pet Rock than to start TiVo alerts with this gem: "Amazon Women on the Moon."

It's a 1987 classic that spoofs commercials and 1950s sci-fi flicks. It features an old-school Arsenio Hall and an old-school Andrew Dice Clay.

Time: Saturday, Aug. 2, 3:25 a.m.
Channel: HBO Comedy (303 on Cablevision systems; 408 on Verizon)

Enjoy the trailer below.

Back before he played multiple characters in every movie, Eddie Murphy was a brilliant stand-up comedian and sketch artist.

Old School Tuesday salutes Eddie with this old SNL clip.

Pet Rock was nowhere near Comic-Con 2008 this past weekend in San Diego. Geography plays quite a role in that, we suppose. However, Pop Candy's Whitney Matheson was there and blogged it out for us. Some good stuff in there.

But judging by the photos we saw on the wires, it was basically a photo-op for actors and actresses in comic-book movies and TV shows, other celebs floating around for press, fans in crazy outfits and maybe Tarvold from "Viking Quest."

Click the pic below for a Comic-Con photo bonanza.

(AP Photo)

I never see super-hyped movies on opening weekend. It's my "Pulp Fiction" theory. That movie was so hyped by my friends when it came out that when I finally saw it in the theater, I thought it stunk. Now it's a classic.

So when DJ friend Reptile kept smacking me in the shoulder while repeating "Go see 'Batman'" for 22 minutes straight in the days leading up to its theatrical release, I had to sit back and wait.

When everyone else I know raved about "The Dark Knight" after opening weekend, I had to sit back and wait.

When it became the biggest movie opening of all time, I had to sit back and wait.

Finally, this past weekend, I stopped sitting and waiting. I finally manned up and saw "The Dark Knight." Holy ish!

Within 20 minutes, we had already given it the coveted "See in theaters" status in our Pet Rock Movie Rating System. In fact, we're in talks right now to add a "See it twice in theaters" rating.

Judging by its $314-plus million domestic gross at the box office so far, we're clearly not alone in our thinking. Assuming a $10 average per screening, that represents more than 31 million tickets sold, or slightly more than 10 percent of the American population (not including those who saw it more than once.)

This movie is fantastic. It even has a real ending, something most big movies these days fail to deliver. Christian Bale is decent as Batman, and as everyone has already said, Heath Ledger is beyond brilliant in his turn as The Joker. While I hemmed and hawed about the need to remake a decent movie that was only 18 years old, clearly I was wrong. Moving it from comic book to "real" movie was a strong move.

Dead or alive, Ledger deserves serious consideration for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. That's not to sound callous, but rather to exclaim that sentiment should have nothing to do with the voting process. This role as a serious, maniacal Joker was written brilliantly and acted brilliantly.

So please go see "The Dark Knight" immediately. Drop what you're doing at work, find the nearest theater and go. I'll make it easier: Click here and enter your ZIP code. And, just for fun, here's the trailer (Note: The trailer sucks in comparison to the actual movie).

There are buckets of buzz floating around the online ocean about the 2009 movie "Watchmen."

Why so much hype so early? Well, partially because that's the business these days. And partially because the trailer industry is growing even more important than the movie industry. (Remember the "Entourage" episode when E and Ari sell the awful "Medellin" movie based on its awesome trailer?)

And partially because "Watchmen" is the most celebrated graphic novel of all-time. Or so the trailer says. I'm not a fan of graphic novels (or their movies) but I recognize everyone's right to enjoy what they enjoy. Plus, the trailer is pretty cool and actually makes me want to see the movie. Peep it and decide for yourself.

(P.S. You've got plenty of time to decide since if you save $3 a month, by the time the movie hits theaters, you'll have enough money put away for two tickets, popcorn and two sodas.)

Caught "The Dark Knight" at the movie theater this past weekend. Sick movie, btw, but more on that later.

Among the previews? The new James Bond flick "Quantum of Solace." Looks pretty good, if you're a Bond fan. If you're not a Bond fan, it still looks good. Below is the trailer along with a few old-school Bond clips I dug up in our archives. Enjoy your morning.

Learn more about "Quantum of Solace" at 007.com.

In honor of the Jets opening training camp today, the Giants opening camp on Friday and the rest of the NFL beginning their seasons this weekend, Top 5 Thursday salutes the best football movies of all-time.

We ranked them based on the enjoyment of watching it the first time, the re-watchability factor, the "Oh damn, [insert movie name here] is on TNT right now, looks like I'm not going anywhere for a while" factor, the quality of the football scenes, the storylines and the staying power of certain scenes.

5) The Longest Yard

We're talking the original one here, of course. Burt Reynolds, sans mustache, is always a sight to behold. Granted, in the remake, at least we get to see Michael Irvin on the field one more time. But it can't compare to the original.

4) "Friday Night Lights"

Just plain awesome in all categories. Huge in re-watchability. Intensely shot football scenes. Good storyline. Not a happy ending, either, which makes it even better.

3) "Any Given Sunday"

Perhaps a controversial placement, but we point to the hilarity of James Woods as the team physician, the awesomeness of Al Pacino's pregame speech toward the end, the sawing in half of Willie Beamen's SUV by LT, and of course, "My name is Willie . . . Willie Beamen."

2) "Varsity Blues"

Ali Larter. Whipped-cream bikini. 'Nuff said. (But we'll say more.) This movie kills in the re-watchability department, and the football scenes are quite good. It also has that campy/endearing quality.

1) "Remember the Titans"

Oh look, it's Denzel Washington playing the righteous man who laughs in the face of adversity and leads the good in triumph over evil. But, damn, he does it so well.

Enjoy some clips below. (NOTE: A few cuss words got through because no one posts TV edits on YouTube. Proceed with caution.)

Honorable Mention: "All the Right Moves," "The Program," "Rudy" and "Necessary Roughness."

(Handout photos from Newsday archives)

Season 4 starts Aug. 18 at 10 p.m. on MTV. We know you are as excited as we are. Don't even try to front like you're not.

Every now and again, Fashion friend Anne shoots an e-mail into the Pet Rock office that makes us proud.

At 4:54 p.m., we smiled. (Sure it took us a little longer to get this up in the blog, but hey, such is life.)

It appears that Tyra Banks, already statuesque in her hotness, is about to get waxed. Her new wax figure will be unveiled Thursday (July 24) at 10:30 a.m. at Madame Tussauds in Manhattan. So if you're near 234 W. 42nd St., between 7th and 8th avenues, swing on through and try to wax that Banks.

The Tussauds people claim that visitors will be able to take photos with, hug and even kiss Banks’ wax figure.

Tyra's figure (quite a nice phrase when not referring to a wax replica) will be rocking a beautiful floor-length black gown with a plunging neckline. Me, I'd rather see her in those leather pants from "Coyote Ugly."

(Getty Images Photo)

No joke, people, I'm fired up for the return of "Beverly Hills 90210" to television. OK, sure, I just admitted that in public, but lucky for me, we've only had about 20,000 readers to Pet Rock today.

Even with Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh coming back, I know the show won't be as good as it was growing up, but that's because I'm just as old as the gang from West Beverly (not in real life, those dudes were like 40 when they starred in the show). The new crop of kiddies watching the new crop of 90210ers will no doubt enjoy it.

But for us old folks, we're not too old to stop having fun. So here's a little old school "Beverly Hills 90210" trivia quiz for you. I went 8-for-10.

• Photos: Where are the '90210' cast members now?
• Map: '90210' hot spots

The '80s and '90s All-Star Summer continues this Saturday when Rick Springfield plugs in his guitar and goes to work at the Planting Fields Arboretum in Oyster Bay.

That's right, folks. It's a big ol' open space surrounded by trees and funky plants and Rick Springfield is going to be loving it with that body, I just know it.

Contrary to popular opinion, Springfield's greatest hits include more than "Jessie's Girl." However, "Jessie's Girl" is still "Jessie's Girl." And everytime I listen to it, I find another hilarious lyric. This week, it's "I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines."

For those of you not willing to fork over the $35 for a ticket or if you're not around the Island, Old School Tuesday proudly presents "Jessie's Girl" in full 1980s mono.

On today's episode of "The Wendy Williams Show" on Fox, she and Omarosa got a little testy with one another. Fox couldn't get the video out fast enough as the network tries to turn Wendy into a national daytime talk show host.

If you've ever listened to Wendy's radio show, you know she'll say whatever she wants. This interview, which may or may not have been staged just to draw interest, gets heated early and then again around the 4-minute mark. Sadly, there was no "When keeping it real goes wrong" moment.

The view here is that this was scripted drama. It felt a little too staged. Fox wants to make a big splash and Omarosa was pitching her new book "The Bitch Switch." I may be wrong, I may be right. Who really knows? Who really cares?

Watch the video and make your own call.

Tuesday morning update: Turns out Wendy Williams had more things to say Monday night about Omarosa.

Tuesday update: Uh oh, here's part 2 of the verbal scuffle.

Hard to believe there was a time when only girls could admire and respect Justin Timberlake.

Since the NSync thing ended and he went solo, JT has done no wrong.

• He's making hit records, ones that are actually good, not just that sell/download well.

• He's been linked to nearly every hot Hollywood chick there is, and most of them are older.

• He's the only guy we know of to be with Britney Spears in her prime.

• He's getting into the acting thing and he's pretty good at it.

• He's awesome as a host on "Saturday Night Live." (Bring it on in to Omeletville!)

• He impersonated Prince at the Golden Globes when accepting an award on his behalf.

• He introduced Madonna at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

• He killed as host of the ESPYs on Sunday night.

And now, on Monday morning, comes word that a federal appeals court overturned the $550,000 fine the FCC dropped on CBS for Janet Jackson's famous "wardrobe malfunction."

What does this mean for JT? Well, it means he can rip a girl's clothing off, expose her breasts to the world on national television -- in primetime, no less! -- and all parties walk away scotfree. That is magic powers, my friends.

. . . complete and total embarassment on an international scale.

Take, for example, this photo that has circulated the world on more than one occasion.

Sometimes it comes under the email header of "Funny Posters" or "Don't be this guy" or whatever witty little subject line your friends come up with to indicate that a bunch of funny photos are awaiting your perusal.

This should be reason enough to look through all the photos. That, and you just may be in one of those photos one day. These folks in this pic are likely nice people. Maybe they're young folks in love and wanted to take a picture to cherish the moment. Maybe it was their spring break. Maybe this is the spot where they first met. Granted, maybe none of that is the story here.

However, someone put him on blast. (Of course, he does have four collars popped, as if one wasn't good enough). Now all the world knows this kid as the non-stop collar-popping kid. Tough break.

Remember those photos your friends took of you when you passed out on the floor in college? Or the four highlighters you burned through when that kid you hated on your freshman floor came home drunk for the first time? Or those photos you put on MySpace or Facebook that you think are silly and harmless? Yeah, good luck on that.

Just some cautionary food for thought this morning.

Here's a little gem of a paragraph I came across Sunday afternoon while Googling Lindsay Lohan news.

"Meanwhile, according to reports Ronson has recently changed her Facebook relationship status to 'in a relationship.'"

I nearly hiccuped at the absurdity of that statement. OMG! OMG! OMG! All the reports must be true! Facebook's relationship status is the beacon of all that is true and accurate.

Somewhere, journalism professors are throwing empty Coors light bottles at the hair they've already pulled out of their heads about how celebrities and the Internet have developed this new world of "journalism."

A quick review of Facebook:

- My profile has a photo of Mark Wahlberg on it. I look nothing like him. (I'm taller, but he's got bigger guns than me.)

- There are at least eight Lindsay Lohan/Lohan Lindsay profiles that I found.

- There are at least Samantha Ronson profiles that I found.

So, seriously, it's one thing to take third-level hearsay from a friend of another friend whose daughter walked her dog past a restaurant where a waiter said he saw Lohan and Ronson walk by an hour ago and report it as fact. It's a whole other thing to claim Facebook as a source.

Understand that we're not discussing the veracity or non-veracity of the rumored LiLo-SaRo relationship. We're discussing the use of Facebook as a source.

People need to truly look at everything they read online or hear on television in its true context. It's scary how reality gets morphed like a bag of chocolate chips in a microwave for two minutes then becomes the public's reality. Does anyone know how hard it is to unGoogle something?

Actress Jessica Alba (shown here with baby Honor Marie) is the latest to join the roster of sexy celebrity moms. She's definitely earned her spot, but who else is making motherhood hot?

Click on the photo to flip through our photo gallery of other hot celebrity moms and then tell us who should be dubbed the hottest of them all!

Pop star Britney Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline settled a custody battle over their two young sons, according to People magazine.

It seems Britney was unable to prove she's fit to be a full-time mom to Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1. K-Fed will get sole custody under their agreement and the deal will have to be signed off by the court. Britney will retain her visitation rights, consisting of two visits and one overnight stay each week, according to People.

"The case has been settled," Federline's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, told E! Online. "The court still has to approve it."

What's your take? Do you think the outcome is fair?

Photo credit: AP

As a kid growing up in the '80s, one of my favorite toys was my brother's Hot Wheels car collection and racetrack set. Who knew a tiny metal car with flames on the side could seem so realistic and fun?!

Landon Wilburn appears to share the same love of Hot Wheels as I do. The 11-year-old regularly aims his Hot Wheels Radar Gun at speeding drivers in his neighborhood in Louisville, Ky. He actually thinks his radar gun is tracking the speed of oncoming drivers! Landon has taken to yelling at speeders and then decided to bust out the radar gun. Way to go kid! Isn't he adorable?

(AP Photo/The Louisville Courier-Journal, Charlie White)

It’s official. Richie Sambora can’t rock. Most of you know that already, and if you’ve been watching the Denise Richards show you can clearly see that Richie can’t control crazy women, which is pretty much the only skill needed to star on "Rock of Love."

So VHI ditched Richie and Bret ditched Ambre Lake (shocker) and is set to star in the third installment of his hit show. The new spin this season is that the show will take place on a tour bus as Bret goes cross-country to see who can handle life on the road. It was the road life that brought an end to his relationship with Lake.

“Bret has been very upfront and honest about how difficult maintaining a normal relationship may be for a touring rock star. He’s right, it’s absolutely an insane lifestyle and neither of us had the time to make it work,” stated Lake in the announcement for Rock of Love 3.

According to VH1 the girls will compete in challenges revolving around Bret’s life on the road in each new city. They will act as roadies, greet groupies and of course play in Mud Bowl 3. We can only hope the tour bus stops at Mulcahy’s.

We all know how so much of tabloid gossip is just a bunch of yang with sources so weak, it's amazing the paper they're printed on actually can withstand the ink.

We all know how the British tabloids are even more over-the-top ridiculous and unabashedly abusive toward famous people than American tabs.

But this little nugget out of the The Mirror about Jay-Z and Beyonce is just about the most ridiculous thing of all time. Seriously, does anyone really believe this?

(Photo by Getty Images)

We get hit up with invites, promos and all sorts of things by PR (not Pet Rock) folks all the day. Part of the job, and certainly no complaints here.

It's my job to sift through all that stuff and figure out what is worth my time to blog about, your time to read about and all our time to actually experience whatever it is we're blogging and reading about.

Every now and again, we get an email that immediately screams out "Um, yeah, we're gonna have to do something about this STAT!"

And this one quickly elevated itself to No. 28 on our fly-by-night list of Reasons to Love America. It's National Underwear Day! And it's coming to Manhattan on Aug. 5, 2008.

That's correct, folks. It's a day to make mention of our unmentionables and to celebrate the advent of the clothing that goes above our skin and below our other clothes . . . usually. It was started by Freshpair in 2003 and has taken place in Times Square the previous five years. This year, it moves indoors.

Ordinarily, I would never condone the act of wearing such materials, but once I read "Runway shows - cocktails – celebrity appearances" I figured I could let it slide.

We need clarification on "celebrity appearances." Are we talking real celebrity people, or famous underwears of the past? This is an important distinction. As your pop culturist, it's my job to investigate this matter in person . . . and to accept nominations for my +1.

(Photo from Freshpair.com)

It appears Andy Dick went and got himself arrested again on Wednesday. The guess here is that getting arrested is never fun, except for maybe in "My Blue Heaven" or certain porn flicks.

But it's always funny when any-list celeb gets arrested in a Buffalo Wild Wings, don't ya think?

Anyway, peep the pic below and then click it for more celebrity mugshots.

I have been holding on to this pic for roughly 2 years, 4 months and 6 days. It was a gift from Architect friend Aki, and now it's time to share the celebration with the masses.

Happy Van Damme Wednesday!

If you don't know the movie this is from, I'm very disappointed in you.

R&B singer Usher graces the cover of Essence magazine's August issue and shares a first look at his 7-month old son, Usher Raymond V, and his thoughts on fatherhood.

In an interview with Essence, Usher stressed that a sense of responsibility is key to being a good father. " ... you should never abandon that responsibility, which is to be there, reading with your child, being supportive of your child's growth. That is communicating. That is making the choice to put your child before your own vanity," he said.

How has marriage and fatherhood changed his life? "They're both linked -- I can't have one without the other. But the one thing that changed me the most is having a wife. Our child is an extension of that union," Usher told Essence.

Looks like fatherhood suits him well! See behind-the-scenes at the Essence magazine cover photo shoot:

Photo credit: Essence magazine

Last week, lawyer friend Steve sent along this link: gethimabodybag.ytmnd.com. Fans of "The Karate Kid" will appreciate its singular function.

This past weekend, "First Blood" made the rounds on Spike TV. It is perhaps Stallone's best work in a non-"Rocky" environment. More importantly, it gave us Richard Crenna as Col. Samuel Trautman, one of the most underrated characters in 1980s movie history.

What are the odds that two separate incidents involving use the use of the word "body bag" in 1980s movies would show up within 48 hours of each other? Very slim, indeed, which is why I had no choice but to compare the two in Old School Tuesday.

It's such a tough debate. It's a very random word to use, especially in the early and mid-1980s when every show on television wasn't some version "Law & Order" or "CSI." Seriously, who else but a medical examiner or CSU worker would even think to say that word in a sentence on camera?

Of course, everyone knows