By Mark La Monica
Short of receiving an email from Bruce Willis with an attached photo of Chuck Norris caught in a sleeper hold from Sylvester Stallone while in the background Steven Seagal and Frank Vincent kill a pig by hand for a luau, this is just about the manliest email one could ever receive.
Thank you for ordering from OMAHASTEAKS.COM, Inc.! Just a quick e-mail to let you know that your package has shipped and will be delivered to the following address:
Mmmm, beef. Mmmm, beef being delivered to my doorstep!
Let's break it down:
1) Meat
2) Top-notch meat
3) Someone else instructing me that the meat I purchased with my own money is ready to be delivered to me so I can eat it.
4) Being delivered to my home where I am master of my domain.
Thank the good people above for having invented the Mach 3 razor, otherwise I'd go through an entire box of blades just to shave after that email.
Insert your best Tim Allen early '90s bear growl here.