By Mark La Monica
The wildly popular "Dancing With The Stars" has been a ratings bonzana for ABC. It encapsulates the reality competition genre that dominates programming these days. And it puts people in charge, somewhat, of their own future.
But don't fool yourself, Even in this era of user-generated content (aka, "Do our work for us"), there's way more going on with this show that makes it successful.
Here are 12 reasons why "Dancing With The Stars" works:
1) Famous people
We as a culture in this nation do love us some celebrities. But the true guilty pleasure in watching these celebs is two-fold:
• Watching celebs transform from regular non-dancers to graceful dancers
• Secretly hoping to watch famous people make a fool of themselves on national televison.
2) Insane clothing
The women all were shiny little things. The men all raided Sam Rothstein's closet at The Tangiers.
3) The music
It's all songs we already know, which never hurts. They're performed by people at the show, not by the original artists, which adds some intrigue (even if some of the versions are woefully painful to hear.) They don't talk about this, but the music is the secret energy of the show.
4) A gutsy host
Tom Bergeron drops bombs. Gotta respect a host who can easily alternate between kissing celebrity patoot and mocking celebrities to the face. On the show finale, Bergeron asked the earlier weeks' losers some questions. When he got to Jennie Garth (aka Kelly Taylor), he said on live television: "Jennie, uh, we were gonna ask you a question, but instead let's roll the clip of her falling down . . . Really, I don't have time for questions." Onions!
5) Train wrecks
There's also at least one star on the show that makes you say "I can't wait to watch this debacle." The train wreck was been played admirably this season by Wayne Newton and Mark Cuban, and in previous seasons by Tucker Carlson and Jerry Springer.
6) A crazy Italian
Having been raised by plenty of crazy Italians, let me say this: Never, never, never underestimate the influence loud, outspoken and demonstrative Italians can have on the things you do. Forza Bruno Tonioli!
7) Smokin hot chicks
Julianne Hough, Kym Webster, Cheryl Burke, Carrie Ann, etc., etc., etc.
8) Old-school classics
The creators and producers of "Dancing" do a remarkable job of landing a good array of talent to appeal to every demographic imaginable. That always yields a "Wow, I didn't know they were still around, but damn she/he still looks good" moment. This year's old-school classic: Jane Seymour. That woman is good medicine.
9) College flashbacks
Every man who had a girlfriend and schedule flexibility in their senior year of college during the 1990s was forced to take the ballroom dancing class. Some of those men are with those same women. Some are with different women. Those different women also took the ballroom dancing class. And now that those college guys of the 1990s have gone soft in their 30s, it's deja vu all over again.
10) Cast stability
Sure, each season revolves around different celebrities, but the dancers remain the same (give or take one or two here and there). That gives the viewer a chance to grow with the show and compare Karina Smirnoff's work with Slater last season with her work with Pretty Boy Floyd this season.
11) Career revival
Tell the truth: for those of you who didn't watch the extremely short-lived "ESPN Hollywood," who even knew Mario Lopez had skills beyond bad wrestling moves in a fake gym on Saturday mornings?
12) The dance moves
Yeah, they're pretty cool, too.