Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

By Mark La Monica

Given its 4 million-plus views on YouTube, it's safe to say the "My New Haircut" video by L2X Productions qualifies as a pop culture phenomenon.

I can't in good conscience embed the video in this blog since we're a family newspaper Web site and there is plenty of cursing going on. Well, I could do it, but I'd likely get canned or shut down or both. So, if you're not familiar with this gem, here's the link. Click on it at your own discretion.

But here's the scary part: The people they make fun in this video really exist here on Long Island, and in Queens, Staten Island and New Jersey. The Gotti blow-out haircuts, the gel, the perfected Jones Beach workout (bench and curls), the button-down shirts unbuttoned enough to show off their chest hair. Oh wait, they shave their chest hair. The more disturbing trait of these people is the way they talk and the things they say.

A few hours ago at the gym, I almost had a Dave Chappelle "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong" moment. On the treadmill, minding my own business, with an iPod and 30 minutes of incline, two brohams infiltrated my little world.

One of the guys has the "My New Haircut" haircut (and the headband!). The other guy has the "before" haircut from the "My New Haircut" video. And then, boom, they start talking. Just plain awful. All I could pick up was "bottle service" and "limos" and "[bleeping] hammered" and "these chicks" and blah, blah, blah.

What did I do? Well, being a man of pop culture, I occasionally yelled out "Jager bombs!" Soon, it became "frequently" rather than "occasionally." I was keeping it real. It almost went wrong.

Of course, if these brohams said anything to me, I would have responded properly. "Not now, chief, I'm in the [bleeping] zone!"

Then, I would have run away . . . and found the biggest trainer in the gym and told him those two guys made fun of his mother.